


Filled to the Brim Again

by Rukazaya



Series: Filled to the Brim (Again) [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Angst, Angst and Humor, Blindfolds, Bondage, Cat Ears, Cheating, Double Anal Penetration, Dry Orgasm, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forced Orgasm, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maids, Master/Slave, Memory Loss, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Romance, Sexual Violence, Threesome - M/M/M, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violence, cowboying, cross dressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 11:10:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 137,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukazaya/pseuds/Rukazaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After all they've been through, turmoils and broken hearts, is this lust or love? Can Shizuo and Izaya fall in love with each other? Warning for a lot of smut. Starts Shik x izaya, ends Shizaya ((Continuation of (Filled to the Brim))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**SEQUEL**

**Title:** Filled to the Brim Again  
 **Rating:**  M  
 **Pairing:**  Shiki x Izaya later Shizuo x Izaya  
 **Prompt from the Drrr Kink Meme:** _I want a hot smut Shizaya continuation. Is that too much to ask, dear anon-san? ;_;_  
Uhm... I have a few things in mind..  
Cowboy!Izaya, 69, Izaya being forced to call Shizu-chan "master"? ;o;, dry orgasm, Izaya coming without being touched, HAIR PULLING OHGODYES;o; and uh... Iderno. You can add anything you want.

_Would it be weird if I asked for some spankies...? /_

**_Author's Note:_ ** _... trying to fill all those smut requests resulted in this monster OTL (I don't think I can fill all those in that list but I'm trying to get as close as I can)_

**Disclaimer:** I own none of these characters!

_THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS. You have been warned._

* * *

Heiwajima Shizuo was having a crappy day. A very crappy day. A crappy day that involved pouring rain, leaking umbrellas, dirty rain water splashed from cars on the road, a sick, delirious man who sprouted that his love was true even if loaned money from loan shark to give a diamond ring to some prostitute instead of his wife, another woman who thought she can just pay off her debt by giving a blow job to Tom-san, ruined convenient store dinner because the package leaked and the rain water soaked in… and a wet cigarette.

Shizuo could almost pin and blame everything on Izaya too. Almost. It was such a crappy day, Shizuo was 99% sure that it was all Izaya's fault. And yes, that included the rain.

"What the fuck does that louse think he is? Some god? I'll crush his beating pea-size heart and tell him to his face to fuck off, he's nothing but a stupid flea." Shizuo grumbled as he complained over a phenomenon he knew that Izaya probably can't control, grabbed his mail and kicked his door opened. He threw off his dripping wet shirts and pants, draping them over one of the rickety old wooden chair for it to drip-dry, tossed his mail and a wet brown package onto the small broken-down kitchen table as he grabbed a towel from his bathroom to wipe his hair.

He opened his fridge and took out a carton of milk. Drinking milk always eased his frustration. As he hung the towel on his shoulders, he grabbed the bunch of mails and a strange brown package from the table and sat down on his musty couch to skim through the wet mails one by one. The ink bled in some of them… but he figured they were all just bunch of bills. He threw them in the pile next to his other collection of bills.

Then he looked at his package. He ripped it open without a care. He looked at it curiously… it was a DVD. But the case was black and blank. Though Shizuo may not know much about using complicated machinery and computers, he did own a TV and DVD player so he can watch all of Kasuka's movies.

"This better not be from that fucking flea…" Shizuo muttered as he looked at the sender to make sure. After checking that it wasn't from Orihara Izaya (or at least, that's what the package said,) Shizuo pushed the DVD in and clicked play since he figured it couldn't hurt to watch. Then he went to grab some beer from his fridge next.

As he came back to his TV, his mouth dropped open as he started to hear indecent sounds of aroused moaning. Upon closer inspection, he can tell that the thin Asian man that was being ass-fucked was none other then Orihara Izaya.

"IIIIIZAAAAYAAAA!" Shizuo growled as he crushed his beer can. Then he swooped to pick up his TV and hurl it out the window in anger when he heard a familiar word being spoken.

"S-Shizu-chan…. Shizu-chan… p-please fuck me."

Shizuo stopped in his mid-throw. He looked up at the TV screen and his eyes widened in surprise as he saw his mortal enemy call out his name in the most wanton voice he's ever heard him speak in, "Ye… yes… please fuck me harder… Shizu-chan… aaah… Shizu-chan!"

Heiwajima Shizuo stared and stared in disbelief as he saw Orihara Izaya, who he thought shared a mutual hatred with, aroused, needy, panting, begging to be fucked harder and calling out Shizuo's name when he climaxed, even though he was clearly being fucked by someone else.

Shizuo could not remove his gaze from the screen.

* * *

"Fuck. Screw Izaya," Shizuo tossed and turned in his bed. It was 4a.m. and he did not get a wink of sleep. When he closed his eyes, all he can see was that TV screen image burned in his mind, like when a young boy first saw porn for his first time and the image was burned to your brain. Shizuo's brain was burnt and his body was burning inside as well as his frustration overtook him.

"I'm going to kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him,  _kill him_!" Shizuo muttered over and over like a mantra, hoping it'll make him calm down. But it gave him the opposite effect. Shizuo can see that thin body flush with arousal, that flea's cheeks turn rosy in the steam, that louse's eyes half-lid, his mouth lightly parted, wanting, begging, pleading…

"FUCK!" Shizuo shouted in frustration as he slammed his fist against the wall that was above his pillow. It created hole in the wall but he ignored it. He was angry at Izaya for that disturbing video that dared to disturb his sleep but he was angrier at himself for not being able to tune it out.

"That fucking LOUSE!" Shizuo growled as he felt his boxers tighten and his own arousal being needy. "Shit…" Shizuo grinded his teeth as he tried to squeeze his hardening manhood with his hand, trying to make it calm. "Shit!" Shizuo could not believe his body could be turned on by that louse's face. Even if the flea was showing an expression he's never seen before… and even if the flea was begging Shizuo to fuck him harder… Shizuo was still pissed that he was shaken by such image.

Giving up on calming his nerves, since that never worked for him anyway, Shizuo started to stroke himself. Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine a hot woman, but all he could see was that flea, and all he could hear was ' _Shizu-chan… Shizu-chan… aaah… fuck me harder…_ '

"Damn you louse, go to hell," Shizuo grabbed hold of the pillow in front of him as he buried his face. His hand continued to jerk on his cock as he imagined himself fucking that louse for the first time. His head was swimming with images, shifting from the face of Izaya that he knew, the smirking, conniving, jeering sneering expression… and then to that new face, with an expression fully aroused as he begged, and wanted Shizuo's hard cock inside him, filling him full.

' _Shizu-chan…. Shizu-chan…_ ' Shizuo heard over and over in his head. "FUCK!" Shizuo cursed as he couldn't believe that he was jerking off while thinking of the flea calling him by that awful name, the name Shizuo had always denounced.

Now his imagination took over as Izaya in his mind begged for more. "Shizu-chan, harder, please go harder! Aaah, Shizu-chan, fill me full with your cum! I want you Shizu-chan!"

They were words Izaya had never spoken, but they kept replaying in Shizuo's mind. He had never ever had thought that he'd want to hear those words in his life. But right now, Shizuo wanted it. His body desperately wanted to slam his cock inside that tight ass and fuck him so hard, Izaya wouldn't be able to walk the next day. Shizuo imagined himself in the position of that man that was fucking Izaya in the video, sliding his cock in and out, forcing Izaya to shudder under his touch, making him beg and moan for more. Shizuo continued to fuck Izaya even as the smaller man came and started pleading him to stop, that he couldn't take it anymore. But Shizuo continued to fuck him harder, telling him that he wasn't finished, and that the louse was nothing but his toy.

And in his mind Shizuo broke his once-classmate again and again, finding joy in seeing Izaya cry, his body flushed pink with forced arousal. Shizuo crushed Izaya under him as he continued his thrust, Izaya's slim body shaking beneath him as he moaned.

' _Shizu-chan… Shizu-chan…_ ' Izaya continued to moan as his sore body went into overdrive, his limp cock that continued to throb weakly between them.  _'Shizu-chan, don't stop…'_  It made no sense why Izaya would still want it after his several orgasms nor why he'd beg for Shizuo to continue even though earlier he was screaming for him to stop… but it made perfect sense in Shizuo's head as he watched his Izaya shudder in ecstasy beneath him. The ecstasy that none-other-than _Heiwajima Shizuo_  was giving him. Shizuo controlled him fully, the way Izaya moaned, and the way Izaya begged. If Izaya wanted more or wanted him to stop, if he wanted a kiss or if he wanted him to thrust deeper, Shizuo was the one who had the power to grant it to him.

"I…. Izaya…" Shizuo moaned, for the first time not screaming his name at him as he hurled something to his face. And for once, Shizuo wanted him. "I… Iza… ya…"

' _Shizu-chan… Shizu-chan…_ ' Izaya moaned into Shizuo's ear as he licked and kissed him back. ' _I love you…_ '

Just then, Shizuo was caught surprised by his own imagination as his imaginary Izaya blushed. Then Shizuo came. He came really hard as his own cheeks flushed, and his body quivered in ecstasy. Then he laid there dumbfounded in his messy bed, in complete disbelief that he had wanted to hear Izaya say such words to him, and that he came upon hearing those words.

It took him a long time before he sorted out his thoughts, got up to take a shower and got dressed for work.

It'll be another long day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Shizuo! Watch out!" Tom shouted as he grabbed his kouhai's back and yanked him back to safety. The car honked as it drove past by. Shizuo looked up to notice that he almost crossed the streets on a red light.

"Geez Shizuo. Don't scare me like that. Have you had enough sleep lately?" Tom asked in concern. Shizuo just nodded dumbly. Tom sighed. It's been several days now… since Shizuo's been acting a bit off. He was walking around like a half-dead zombie, barely eating anything, staring into space and not even getting angry when some rowdy teenagers who didn't know better tried to pick a fight. Shizuo just shrugged it all off as he walked listless. Though Tom had always worried over 'Angry Shizuo ', but this version of Shizuo was even worse.

Tom pat him on the back in a comforting manner. "Look, everything will be alright. I'm sure Kasuka's doing fine, okay?" Shizuo blushed a bit at hearing those words.

"Ah… yeah… Sorry., He managed to mumble out as he cursed inwardly. He wasn't doing his job properly, and now he was making his senpai worry over him. He was the worst.

"How about we go out for dinner? My treat? Unless you're feeling tired and you just want to go home?" Tom asked gently. Shizuo looked away uncomfortably, feeling even more embarrassed that Tom was obviously concerned over him, thinking it was a huge problem.

"Or is there something you want to talk about?" Tom tried. Shizuo wasn't the type to tell him of his problems, but maybe today was different.

"Tom-san… well, there is something I wanted to ask."

"Oh? What is it?" Tom asked eagerly, happy to be of help.

"What's…. Awakusu?"

"Awakusu? You mean Awakusu Association? They're loan sharks, pretty nasty bunch too. I wouldn't mess with them really… they can be merciless when dealing with…." Tom paused. "Shizuo… you aren't… by chance… that is-!"

"Oh, it's umm.. it's nothing Tom-san. It's not what you're thinking. I'm not in any trouble with them," Shizuo laughed weakly as he tapped the ashes off his cigarette. He couldn't really tell him that his main worry was because the sender of that damned video was from Awakusu. Not knowing anything, Tom still gave him an apprehensive look anyway.

"Well, I don't know what your worries are, but I'm there for you, Shizuo. Call me if you need me, alright?"

"Yeah…. Thanks."

Just then, the phone rang. Shizuo gave a courteous nod towards Tom before picking it up.

"This is… Heiwajima-san?" It was serious, older-male voice.

"Yes, this is he."

"Ah, this is Shiki from Awakusu. I would like to meet with you. We have a lot to discuss."

"That's pretty good timing." Shizuo smirked, smiling for the first time in days. "I've been waiting for your call."

Shizuo took a deep intake of his cigarette, letting the fumes burn his lungs before he let them out into the contaminated air of the city. When he arrived at the location of their meeting, he was greeted by two large men in suits at the entrance. It was obvious to anyone that they were more like bouncers rather than security guards, and probably packed heavy muscles under that nice looking suit of theirs. But Shizuo didn't blink an eye. When he approached them, they bowed lightly and silently lead him inside. They were clearly waiting for him.

Shizuo walked through the darkly lit hallway and stepped into the elevator. The two bouncers flanked his sides appearing to be both guarding him and trying to intimidate him. It wasn't necessary however. Shizuo wanted to be here and he had no fear of any human's strength but his own.

Shizuo closed his eyes as he let the cigarette burn away slowly, remembering that night, no, the past few days in which he kept re-watching that DVD, over and over. After he couldn't get rid of those images that haunted him every night and day, Shizuo gave up and started reviewing them carefully. Except this time, he didn't just focus on his hated enemy, but examined his surroundings. Shizuo noted that the camera was stationary and from a slightly angled distance, which made it feel more like it was a hidden camera. Whether Izaya knew that he was being filmed or not wasn't obvious but he never looked towards the camera. One would suspect that that meant that Izaya did not realize he was being filmed, but this was Orihara Izaya. Shizuo knew better then to assume anything.

Shizuo also noted that the man was always the same man, an older seriously looking man with a thin face and a scar right near his brow. The location varied as well as their clothing, which meant that they had sex multiple times, and probably not all in one day. It was obviously edited since it switched from one place to another, though Shizuo doubted that they were acting or using fake actors. No, that was really Orihara Izaya that enjoyed being fucked. In all the cases, Izaya's lips were covered; sometimes even blind folded along with his body bound tightly as they continued to fuck in the kinkiest way possible. The only time the video showed Izaya with his mouth not gagged was that one time he was calling out Shizuo's name. Shizuo didn't know that the film had edited out the scene where Izaya begged to Shiki that he hated Shizuo and didn't want to say his name while being fucked. For all he knew, it was what Izaya had wanted, to be fucked while pretending that his partner was Shizuo, which would explain the blindfold kink. And from what he saw, Izaya enjoyed it.

Shizuo let out another sigh along with the hazy dark smoke that floated around the air before it dissipated. There was a small ding as the elevator came to the top floor and Shizuo stepped out.

"Shiki-san, you're not lying to me when you promised, did you?" Izaya said as he trembled lightly with the vibrator inside him. For once, Shiki did not gag him, which was nice. This time, Izaya had a collar on his neck tied to a leash. Shiki relaxed on the couch with Izaya in his lap, facing towards the entrance, so that the sneaky informant couldn't steal a kiss. The Executive of Awakusu had his favorite brand of cigarette in his mouth as his second barrier in case Izaya did try to slip a kiss like last time. The informant's hands were bound as usual with a spare necktie. And Izaya was wearing nothing but his fur-trimmed coat on, so that whoever Shiki was meeting will be granted with a full view of Izaya's hardened manhood.

"Did I ever break a promise? Today you can sit in on one of my meetings, and listen to your heart's content." Shiki smirked as he played with the remote control to the vibrator inside Izaya's ass as he lazily blew out the smoke from his mouth. Izaya moaned when Shiki switched gears on him, curling his toes in pleasure.

"Aaah… S-Shiki-san… don't play with me too hard yet… y-you do want me to cum in front of your guest, don't you? Don't let me run dry now…" Izaya leaned back and rested his head on Shiki's shoulder, wanting to feel someone touch him. But Shiki was cold as always, as he played with the remote control rather than Izaya's flushed body that sought his attention.

"I'll keep my promise as long as you keep yours, Orihara-kun. I want you to fluster our guest so the agreement goes towards my direction."

"And which direction did you want this negotiation to head towards?" Izaya closed his eyes as he shivered. The vibrator slowly intensified inside him and it felt good, despite how badly Izaya would rather have Shiki's cock to ride on.

"You're a smart man, Orihara-kun. You'll figure it out soon enough. Just follow my lead."

"Follow… your lead… huh… Nnng…." Izaya bit down his moan. His eyes were already half-lid as he felt the vibrator hit the spot he wanted.

"Shiki-san… can't you at least play with me a little before he comes? He's taking his sweet time… and I'm getting a bit impatient here." Izaya whined. Shiki sighed unsympathetically.

"I thought you didn't want to come yet. And you know I don't do foreplay, Orihara-kun. Go ask someone else."

"How mean~ all I'm asking is a small kiss or a pinch or two. I'm not even asking for much." Izaya rubbed his ass against Shiki's cock, trying to entice him.

"You're not as seductive as you think, Orihara-kun."

"Well then, why did you think I'd be a good asset to this meeting all of a sudden?" Izaya pouted.

"This meeting is so that you can prove to me you can seduce our guest, Orihara-kun. If this one goes well, perhaps I'll let you sit in more of my meetings." Shiki smirked and closed his eyes as he let out a long, smoke-filled breath. His thumb played with the controls, making Izaya shiver once more.

"Deal?" Izaya asked with his red eyes twinkling slightly, despite being heavily aroused.

"Deal." Shiki raised his eyebrows, amused with his pet. Shiki removed the cigarette from his mouth, pulling at the leash to jerk Izaya's neck upward, before lightly kissing him on the lips. Izaya's eyes immediately widened, surprised at the sudden and rare action.

"Sh…Shiki-san, what are yo-" Izaya was quickly silenced as Shiki captured his lips once more, deepening their kiss. Izaya leaned closer and moaned, closing his eyes and enjoying it. They both could hear the footsteps coming closer and Izaya knew instinctively what Shiki wanted.

The door opened as Shiki's guest walked in, right on time for his appointment.


	3. Chapter 3 (with notes on Awakusu-kai)

When the guards opened the door for Shizuo to enter, he could already hear the moaning inside the room. Shizuo walked in calmly, though he wasn't prepared to see Izaya without his pants on, with just his jacket, and flashing his hard-on towards him as he was kissing Shiki with his eyes closed, Shizuo was nevertheless, not surprised. The DVD had prepared him for that much at least. If anything, it might have been something he had expected after being sent the DVD.

Shizuo carefully inhaled and exhaled the smoke out of his lungs as he calmly stood there and watched the show Shiki put on for him, as Shiki pretended to concentrate on kissing his little pet, which mewed for more attention. Izaya's head was thrown back so he couldn't see who had entered the room, but his entire nude chest and body was open for display. Izaya's toes curled as he held himself up on Shiki's lap and the couch, his hands unable to support him since it was bound to his front. After about 10 seconds of watching them tongue each other, one of the guards coughed, announcing to Shiki that the guest is here.

"Ah, Heiwajima-san. You arrive a bit late, my pet got a bit too frisky from waiting." Shiki stopped kissing to look up at Shizuo in surprised pretense.

"Heiwajima?" Izaya jerked his head forward to stare in horror at Shizuo, who stood calmly in front of them as he smoked his cigarette. At least, Shizuo appeared to be calm. He looked down at Izaya without emotion and then at Shiki.

"What do you want. Make it quick." Shizuo growled. Shiki chuckled in response.

"Shiki-san, you didn't say anything about- ahh!" Izaya was interrupted as the vibrator's intensity switched from low to very high.

"A pet should stay quiet, or I'll have to gag you." Shiki warned him. And Izaya curled in the sofa, as he tried to hold down the vibrator inside him and moaned in protest. After laying down the rules, Shiki lowered the vibrator so Izaya could relax.

"My apologizes for my loud pet, Heiwajima-san. I assure you he's well trained so he wouldn't be making unnecessary noise to our conversation."

"I said make it quick. What do you want from me." Heiwajima glared at Shiki, not bothering to look at Izaya who was still curled up on the sofa whimpering. He had never seen Izaya like that before. Granted he has seen Izaya have sex with a man in a dvd… but seeing him in person was different. But also seeing him in such a weakened state…

Shizuo shook away his thoughts. He mustn't be shaken up from what he saw. This was Izaya. And that was the real-deal yakuza. Shizuo knew well enough that everything was a planned out scam of some-sort. Even though Izaya seemed to act genuine, Shizuo hardened harder and told himself not to fall for his scheme.

Shizuo carefully inhaled and exhaled again, and this time it staggered a bit, as he tried to keep his emotions in control.

"Please, have a seat." Shiki offered with his extended hand.

"Don't make me repeat myself. I'm not here to dawdle with your little lackeys." Shizuo said as his hand lingered around his cigarette. It was the only thing that was calming him down right now from going out of control.

"I insist you have a seat Heiwajima-san. We have much to discuss as I have said on the phone."

Shizuo walked over and sat down on the couch. It sank under his weight.

"Would you like something to drink? Coffee or tea?" Shiki offered in this bizarre and surreal situation as Izaya continued to moan on his lap, naked save for his fur coat that drooped around his shoulder and barely covered his quivering ass.

Shizuo didn't say anything as he sat there and glared at Shiki in silence, quietly smoking.

Shiki nodded in acknowledgement. He too took his cigarette back in his mouth as he continued. "As you know, Heiwajima-san, your strength is quite well known in these parts. Why, some say you're not just the strongest in Ikebukuro or Tokyo, but possibly all of Japan, perhaps even at a world-caliber."

"So?" Shizuo sat there as deadpan as possible. He focused only at Shiki and ignored the crumpled sad little Izaya that kept on quivering in arousal. This was a battle, and Shizuo knew that Izaya was there as a distraction.

"You see, we respect mutual space. We understand that you don't wish to be tamed, nor controlled. We respect that." Shiki started petting Izaya's hair, trying to calm him down from moaning too loudly. But it only made Izaya whimper all the more for his touch. His bound hands clung to Shiki's white dress pants as he lifted his head to lick at his fingers.

"Your point?" Shizuo added as his eyes focused on Shiki rather than at how Izaya started sucking on those thin fingers and how Shiki twirled them around Izaya's tongue and insides of his mouth.

"Ah, well you've caused some damages to our business, you see… We're just businessmen here, doing  _clean_  business. We let people borrow some dough, let them try to fix themselves up, and pay us back as soon as possible. We're here to help them you know, they come to us for help. It's quite important that…"

"S-Shiki-san…" Izaya started to whine as he started to climb up on Shiki's lap to sit, clinging onto his shirt with his bound hands. "I-I can't take it anymore… I need more than this, you're killing me here…." Izaya moaned as he languidly dry humped Shiki like a cat in heat.

"Orihara-kun. I told you to stay put." Shiki frowned as Izaya grinded against him. Already his cock was dripping with precum.

Shiki sighed. "My apologizes. Our pet isn't toilet trained yet." And with that, Shiki pulled out a condom, ripping it open so he can wrap it around Izaya's hardened cock. Izaya moaned as he felt Shiki's hand slide the condom around him, needing any physical touch from his master.

Then Izaya hissed when Shiki squeezed a cockring on top like a screw, though he didn't lock it in place yet. "What the fuck, Shiki-san! This wasn't part of the-"

Then Izaya was cut off with a scream as Shiki pulled Izaya close and capped his cigarette onto the center of his nude chest, near his heart, burning his skin. Izaya shivered as he came into the condom in one large spurt and then two smaller squirts as Shiki firmly held him in place. The smell of burnt skin sickened Shizuo though he couldn't help but feel his pants feel tightened as he watched Izaya's face contort in orgasm and then plop onto the couch in exhaustion.

 

 

* * *

_**Quick Author's note on Shiki and Awakusu-kai.** _

_It seems that there's a slight confusion as to who Shiki is so here's a quick overview._

_\- Shiki appears in Ep 15 when Mr. Niekawa (the magazine interview guy) comes to meet Shiki to ask about Shizuo. He tells him to go meet Izaya. (this fanfic quotes from that scene so it would be nice if you guys knew who he was lol)_

_\- Shiki also appears in Ep 7. When Shizuo says "When Izaya graduated high school, he started dealing with the yakuza" and you can see Izaya getting out of the tinted black car and there's a man in white suit in the back. That is Shiki._

_\- Shiki appears in Ep 12.5 which was released as DVD special only. There you can actually see him talk to Izaya directly._

_\- The first Drama CD that came with the DVDs also have Izaya and Shiki speaking to each other. The translation is available in anni-fiesta's lj. anni-fiesta dot livejournal dot com/27284 dot html. In it Shiki and Izaya meet/talk for the first time as Shiki requests Izaya to retrieve the stolen Russian guns._

_Awakusu-kai is a branch of Medei Group. Shiki is NOT a yakuza boss. He's an executive of the Awakusu-kai. Think of Awakusu-kai like a company and you'll understand it better._

* * *

_Now the rest is **NOVEL SPOILERS** after the Anime Episodes 1-24._

_**A quick hierarchy of Awakusu-kai.** _

_Awakusu's hierarchy:_  
 _Boss: Mr. Awakusu (I forgot his first name lol)_  
 _Awakusu Mikiya – father of Akane, son of the boss._  
 _Awakusu Akane (granddaughter of the boss)_

_There are several ' **KANBU** ' of Awakusu. Kanbu being leaders of divisions._

_**SHIKI** _

_\- Shiki is one of those kanbu, leader, executive etc._

_\- Shiki is the one assigned specifically for making deals with Izaya as written in Epilogue of Book 8. When Izaya does something that displeased Awakusu-kai and disappeared, unanswering Shiki's calls, (regarding putting Awakusu Akane in danger + framing Shizuo with murder of Awakusu men in book 5) Akabayashi asked if he's going to do something about it. Shiki replies he already put a 'lock' on Izaya. (which erupted the Shikizaya fandom in Japan lol)_

_\- Shiki's headquarter is a sham gallery. There's no paintings on the walls because Shiki says "he hasn't found a painting he likes yet." As stated in Book 5 ch 2._

_\- Shiki and Kazamoto (another executive of Awakusu) are fans of Ruri Hijiribe (the idol that Togusa likes in Episode 6. ) as stated in Book 4 chapter 5._

_\- Shiki is very good at reading people and their body language. (Book 5 chapter 2's conversation with Celty)_

_\- Shiki had asked Celty for several dangerous missions in the past._

_\- Shiki is the only person who has the spare key to Shinra's apartment (other than Shinra and Celty themselves) just in case that he can come in during emergencies. Shiki is Shinra's VIP client._

_\- Shiki and Akabayashi went to same high school together._

_**AKABAYASHI** _

_\- Akabayashi is also an executive of Awakusu. He is not the brain type like Shiki though, more brawn. One of the places he's in charge of is a club._

_\- Akabayashi is member of Dollars and is in charge of dealing with Dollars related situations._

_\- Akabayashi's eye was ripped from Anri's mother as Saika. He fell in love with her because she's so strong and beautiful, even as he defeated her (because she wanted to be stopped but couldn't stop herself). When Anri's mother was being physically abused by her husband, he tried to help but she refused his offer. Unable to stop her saika, he took in Anri after Anri's mother killed herself and her husband. He's extremely sweet to Anri and Akane. (thus being nicknamed lolicon) sometimes he's called gay. (I asked around but ppl thinks it's because his over-politeness is feminine? But don't quote me on that one. But yes he is also teased as gay? O.o; )_

_\- And yes Akabayashi fights with his walking cane *A* it's hot and sexy!_

_\- Akabayashi hates drugs because Anri's father was addicted to them and used to beat up Anri and Anri's mother._

_\- Akabayashi laters joins Izaya/Mikado/Celty's chat room through Anri and uses the name "Gaki" which means "hungry ghost" but it's a pun for "brat." Akabayashi refers to himself as Oi-chan which is similar to "uncle" or "gramps" so it's a double pun here._

_\- Akabayashi is the type to always smile and be polite, but you can never tell what's going on in his brain._

_\- Akabayashi speaks in a very polite form. He calls Shiki, "Shiki no danna."_

_**AOSAKI aka Aozaki** (I see several ways to spell this so I don't know which is correct yet)_

_\- Aosaki is also a higher up of Awakusu. Again similar to Akabayashi, seems to be more of a hitman type._

_\- Not much is known about Aosaki except he's strict with rules and is a good fighter at this point. At one point, he threatens Akabayashi that he'll 'take him out' if he steps out of the line one more time._

_\- Aosaki partnered with Akabayashi send their subordinates to quell the disturbance throughout Ikebukuro after Akabayashi receives the messages from Dollars. (during the Russian duo vs Anri vs Chikage vs Shizuo + Kadota fight scene) Akabayashi and Aosaki also leisurely defeat Vorona and Slon the Russian assassin duo._

* * *

_There's more regarding Awakusu Akane and Shizuo etc, but since this fic will not go into the plot of Book 5, I'm leaving it out (This author's note thing is super long already. I hope people remember all this when Akabayashi and Aosaki comes into the story later OTL…. Or come back and read this monster)_

_Thank you for reading. I hope that cleared some confusion. (or made you all even more confused ROFL I dunno)_


	4. Chapter 4

"Now you made a mess of yourself." Shiki sighed and tsk'ed as he pulled off the condom and replaced it with a clean one as if it was just a mundane chore such as changing diapers. Izaya laid on the couch spent as Shiki locked the cockring on top of him. Izaya's cock wasn't as hard as before but with the vibrator inside him still stimulating him, his manhood kept on throbbing quietly in half-aroused state.

"Sh-Shiki-san… that was cruel…" Izaya whimpered as he rolled to the side and moaned in pain with his hands and legs curled in front of him. With the hood up on his head, the black jacket with fur trim made him look a bit more like a feline than being completely nude.

"Ah, thanks for waiting Heiwajima-san." Shiki said as he flicked his cigarette into the ashtray on the desk between them. Shizuo just glared.

"Nice show. What are you trying to prove?"

"Oh nothing much. As I was saying, we will be happy if you don't step into our boundaries and disrupt our business, and we'll gladly not step into your territory." Shiki said as he pet his whimpering kitten. Shizuo frowned, considering Shiki just displayed a mark of ownership on Izaya as he talked about 'territories.'

"What's in it for you, you ask? Of course, it's not for free. We're willing to give you a small compensation." Shiki continued on as he yanked on the leash roughly, pulling Izaya toward him. Izaya's head jerked as he tried to prop himself up, which proved to be difficult with his hands bound in front of him. Nevertheless he was able to climb back onto Shiki's lap, seeking for attention and kisses.

"That hurt, Shiki-sa… nnngh…." Izaya's complaint was interrupted as Shiki pulled up Izaya's hands above his head and started licking the small burnt wound, melting away all the whining. Izaya started moaning lightly as Shiki sucked on the black mark of ownership. Izaya wrapped his arms around Shiki's head as he sat up straighter, wanting more.

"You see… Heiwajima-san. I heard that you were fond of  _pets._ " Shiki continued as he sucked and nibbled. "I heard that you live alone and having a pet or two would be…  _healthy_  for you at quiet nights." Shiki smirked as he gave a side-glance at Shizuo.

"I'm not interested." Shizuo growled back. He still stared at Shiki, though it was now impossible to not look at Izaya moaning in arousal as he did so. But looking away from Shiki meant defeat. Shizuo was stuck between a rock and the hard place.

"Please, please. I insist Heiwajima-san." Shiki said as he loosened his grip on the leash and stopped his licking so he can face Shizuo properly. Izaya clung to Shiki for more, like a cat craving for grooming and attention.

"At least have a small taste of our pets we have to offer. They perform well, I assure you. Though they tend to seek a lot of your attention, they're also low maintenance since they can fend for themselves. All you need is to play with them, and give them a bit of  _milk,_ " Shiki cooed at Izaya as his fingertips brushed the raven haired man's flushed cheeks. Izaya shivered as his cock hardened at his touch.

Shizuo swallowed. He didn't realize he was holding his breath either. Or that the cigarette ash that was on his tip was more than one centimeter longer and was in need of being tapped.

"Not interested," Shizuo turned him down once again. Shiki feigned a frown. He turned to face Izaya and commanded, "Orihara-kun. Go entertain our guest."

Izaya froze. "Shi, Shiki-san?" Izaya looked at Shiki's stern face, startled.

"I want you to go play with our guest, Orihara-kun," Shiki repeated himself, his gaze just as commanding.

"You've got to be kidding me! No way I'm going to-aaaah!" Izaya clung to Shiki for support as his ass vibrated deeply. Shiki started raising the intensity of the vibrator higher.

"Unless you wish to be punished with your mouth gagged and thrown in bed with just a vibrator for an hour, I suggest you listen to your master," Shiki lowered the volume of the vibrator but his voice was collected and cold. Izaya clung even tighter and whimpered as he cowered in pain from being forced into his arousal once again.

"But, Shiki-san…." Izaya glanced at Shizuo and hissed in distaste. But Izaya grit his teeth. As much as he hated Shizuo, he hated getting his freedom of speech taken away. Not to mention being bound in bed with a vibrator for an hour or possibly longer would probably kill him.

"Fine. But I'm only going to lick him," Izaya grumbled. Shiki smirked. "That's fine."

"Hey, I still didn't agree to this," Shizuo reminded but Izaya was already on the floor crawling towards him. Seeing Izaya haunch down really reminded Shizuo of a predatory cat as Izaya's dark red eyes pierced into Shizuo with unsheathed hatred.

"No biting," Shiki smirked and added as Izaya crawled in between Shizuo's legs. Shizuo remained dumbfounded, still unprepared to see what he's seeing, as Izaya used his teeth to bite down Shizuo's zipper and pull it down. Shizuo's hardened cock immediately fell out to Shizuo's chagrin, now that he was unable to hide the fact that he was indeed aroused by Shiki and Izaya's little play.

Izaya tried to fumble with his bound hands on the buckles and managed to pop it out. Shizuo grimaced but before he could do much, Izaya licked at the budging boxer in front of him. Shizuo hissed and swallowed a groan as Izaya gave him a long lick on the tighten fabric, feeling the hard wood under it. Izaya's fingers wrapped around Shizuo's sacks and rolled it around.

"S-stop!" Shizuo pulled Izaya's face away with his hand, his face flushed… with anger, because he refused to acknowledge any other feeling he might be feeling other than anger right now. But Izaya coyly wrapped his fingers around Shizuo's hand and brought it lower. He licked at the blonde's finger tips and lightly sucked on it. Shizuo practically ripped his hand away Izaya's clutch, his heart terrified at what he was feeling.

With Shizuo's hand out of the way, Izaya bent lower again and moaned as the vibrator inside him massaged his inside. Izaya closed his eyes and pretended that it wasn't Shizuo's cock that he was sucking on. That definitely helped. Shizuo's boxers were getting soaked with Izaya's saliva and his own precum. Izaya could smell and taste Shizuo's discharge emitting from the fabric.

"Heiwajima-san. You said you prefer peace did you not? What's better than to settle this peacefully through negotiation? We do not enjoy enforcing violence either you know." Shiki said as he watched, his fingers playing with the remote to the vibrator inside Izaya, a small treat for his little pet that was doing his trick beautifully.

"Fucking louse… is this your way of a joke?" Shizuo bit back his groan then he glared at Shiki in defiance even as his lower body melted with each of Izaya's lick. "If you think this will get me to agree to any of your petty tricks, I'll mow down this place."

"Please Heiwajima-san, enjoy the treat. It's just a free sample." Shiki smirked, leaning to the side of his couch arm as he switched up the pace on the vibrator. Izaya moaned as he tried to grind his ass to the floor, shaking it back and forth, needing the physical touch. Knowing that Shiki wanted him to go at a faster pace, his bound hands tugged at the boxers until Shizuo's cock popped out. Shizuo hissed as he felt the cool room air brush his foreskin as his cock came out of his heated boxers.

Izaya took a quick look at it to size it up. It was definitely bigger, thicker and longer in every way, as expected of Shizuo. He closed his eyes anyway and gave it a long lick from the base to the tip. Shizuo immediately bent forward as his cock responded instantly, growing longer as it leaned for more.

"Fuck! No more of this shit!" Shizuo pulled Izaya's head away as he tried to scoot back. His legs were shivering and his brain screamed that he didn't want it, though he couldn't seem to get enough strength to get up and just leave.

"Heiwajima-san. I insist," Shiki said. As if that was a coded command, the two guards came behind Shizuo and held down his shoulders so he could not move away and pulled his arms behind as well. This shouldn't be strong enough to hold down Heiwajima Shizuo but Izaya's tongue worked like a charm and like Samson with his hair shaved off, Shizuo's strength were stripped away as Izaya once again went back to his licking.

Izaya lapped up the oozing precum with his skillful tongue. He used his lips to kiss and suck on the length, coaxing it to grow longer. Though his hand movements were limited, his long fingers encircled the hard cock and pulled down the foreskin so that he can lick the head. Shizuo hissed.

"F-Fuck!" was all Shizuo could manage to say as he leaned back and let Izaya suck on him. Shiki looked amused. He was tempted to ask if it was his first time, but he knew better.

"Enjoying his performance? Out of all our pets, he has the highest rating," Shiki smirked and Izaya mewed in response. As if that was the cue or Izaya just knew what Shiki wanted out of him, he opened his wet mouth, came on top of Shizuo's cock and swallowed.

Shizuo gasped some gibberish as Izaya's mouth encompassed his hot meat, sucking on him as his tongue swirled around the sensitive head. He started twitching, almost climaxing just from that sensation alone the debt collector was able to hold himself down. If there's one thing he was good at, he hated to lose.

So Shizuo shook and shivered on the couch as Izaya bobbed his head up and down leisurely, in a slow rhythm. The raven haired man looked up to see how Shizuo was doing before he relaxed his jaw, and deep throated him.

"Hnnnnnnnngh!" Shizuo swallowed a groan as he felt Izaya's mouth eat him even deeper, all the way to the hilt. By now Shizuo was barely thinking as his breath staggered and his back was perspiring. He had force himself not to climax when his body wanted to, and that sheer force alone made him light headed.

Izaya pulled out and went back to his licking, practically purring over the control he had on Shizuo. He hated this man's guts and he hated the fact that he was cocksucking his mortal enemy, but he did enjoy the torturing aspect.

"Let's make this more interesting, shall we Heiwajima-san? Surely you'd like to see exactly how  _well_  our pet can perform," Shiki said as he snapped his finger. The third guard who was standing behind Shiki eagerly step forward, as if he was waiting for this specific command. Then he started unzipping his pants as he stood behind Izaya.

"Wa-wait. Shiki-san! What are you-" Izaya gulped as he looked back, his eyes widening at this suggestiveness. The third man grabbed Izaya's butt from behind roughly and held him up.

"Wait, Shiki-san! You wouldn't-!" Izaya shouted. Just then, Shiki got up and kicked his underling in the ass. "You idiot. Who told you that you can fuck our pet with your dirty cock of yours?"

Izaya sighed in relief… until Shiki pulled out another condom from his pocket.

"Safe sex. Remember, we keep our business  _clean._ "


	5. Chapter 5

"Shiki-san…" Izaya glared at Shiki with a dangerous tone that dripped with malice. Shiki ignored him as he sat back on his couch to watch the show. Shiki's underling roughly pulled down Izaya's pants and Izaya gritted his teeth as he held onto Shizuo's waist. Shizuo looked down to notice that Izaya was slightly quivering. Was it anger or fear? Shizuo did not know.

"Shiki-san… I'll get you for this! I swear it!" By now, the man ripped down Izaya's boxers and was forcefully pulling apart Izaya's legs after he had covered his cock with the new condom. Izaya's crimson eyes went wild in desperation. "Shiki-san! You wouldn't! Dammit, who the fuck said I agreed to this! I only want your…. Hnnngh!" All of Izaya's frantic plea vanished as the man started entering Izaya's behind.

"Haaaa…. Aaaah…. Nn…. Nooo… do-don't! Don't!" Izaya gripped tightly onto Shizuo, burying his face as the man started to enter inside him roughly, only caring for his own pleasure. Luckily Shiki had prepared Izaya thoroughly before with a lot of lubrication when he had inserted the vibrator. Shizuo could feel Izaya's fingers tighten pulled on the shirt around his waist, both hands still bound but in need of something to grasp as Izaya moaned in pain.

"D…dammit S… Shiki-san…" Izaya murmured and Shizuo thought he heard Izaya hiccup. Soon enough Izaya started to moan as the man started thrusting inside of him, again not really caring that Izaya haven't adjusted to the size of his cock.

"Nnngh… aaaah!" Izaya practically screamed when his assailant made one sharp thrust, his long dick pushing the vibrator further inside him. Izaya quivered as he kept his face down, trying to adjust to the forced entry.

"Orihara-kun. Mind your manners now. You've forgotten to receive your milk from your guest," Shiki said casually noting Izaya's lack of _'manners'_. On cue, Shiki's underling grabbed the leash on the floor and yanked on it, abruptly bringing Izaya's face back up.

Shizuo was shocked to see tear stricken face. It was then Shizuo realized that this was not a game. He gulped hard as Izaya started hiccupping, crying and yet moan wantonly. It was as if Izaya didn't want it but his body couldn't help but crave for more as if he was addicted to drugs that he knew was destroying his body.

"It… it hurts…" tears flowed fresh down Izaya's cheeks and that look alone made Shizuo's heart throb painfully.

"Orihara-kun. You shouldn't make our guests waiting," Shiki sighed as he raised the level of the vibrator, making his underling purr when his dick hit on it. Meanwhile it only made Izaya gasp out loud even more, his brain turning into mush, unable to hear or think what Shiki would want out of him.

But it seemed he didn't need to as Shiki's subordinate grabbed Izaya by his hair and pushed his head toward Shizuo's cock once more, forcing Izaya to swallow. Shizuo's cock twitched again as Izaya groaned into his mouth trying his best to suck on it out of reflex. Izaya was long gone as he couldn't do much but allow his rapist to bob his head up and down Shizuo's cock for him, matching up with the pace of the thrust from behind. Izaya's eyes glazed as both his front and back entries were filled roughly against his will.

"Nnnngh… nnnngh…. Mmmmnnn…" was all Izaya managed to say as the Awakusu member forced him to suck on his mortal enemy's hard cock. The flushed look on Izaya's face as he was raped from behind only made Shizuo's cock twitch and grow harder with each sucking. Shizuo's legs, arms, hell - his entire fucking body quivered each time Izaya bobbed his head from the force of the thrust from behind. .

"Not bad for just a taste, isn't it…. Heiwajima-san…" Shiki's smirk reeked like a viper's temptation as Shizuo could do nothing but let his most hated enemy give him the best blow job he's ever had.

"So how about it, Heiwajima-san. You can have the full course meal as long as you stay out of our turf and leave our boys to do their work," Shiki continued to speak but Shizuo was having a hard time focusing. It took all of his concentration not to come right now and whatever Shiki was saying did not register in his head. He was only thinking with his lower body as his cock demanded more of Izaya's beautiful flushed face and his slutty mouth to do more of that hot cocksucking action. Shizuo gulped and shook his head.

"N… no. Whatever you just said, fu-fucking forget it! I… I'm not fucking… nngh… f-falling for this…. shit…" Shizuo could not get his eyes off of Izaya now, completely forgetting that he came in here telling himself that he must not take his eyes off of Shiki. Shiki's slick and slippery voice continued to entice him, dripping with poisoned honey but Shizuo mind was too far gone to hear anything other than Izaya's slobbery slurping and the sound of thrusting behind Izaya's ass.

Just then, Shiki's underling, who had poor stamina than all of them, came hard into Izaya's ass… though his cum was collected inside his secured condom. Izaya too shivered as he came, but his cockring stopped him, making him quiver more in agony. Panting, the Awakusu member let go of his victim to clean himself. Izaya topple to the floor from the sudden loss of support, along with denied orgasm. He panted harshly as his lungs sought for breath.

As for Shizuo, all he could do was lean back painfully as his cock twitched in his sad victory. Shizuo was partially glad he didn't come which would mean he didn't let Shiki have his way with him, but now his body was in so much pain and need, he wished he had came when he had the chance.

Shiki tsk'ed in disapproval. "Orihara-kun. I'm disappointed in you. You didn't even milk our guest properly, now how am I going to make my point about our pet program."

Izaya just laid there and moaned in response while Shizuo groaned, both totally spent.

"Orihara-kun. Come here," Shiki called for him finally, once the two of them caught their breath somewhat. Izaya shook his head as he laid there on the ground with the hood covering his head like a sulking cat. Shiki frowned at his disobedient pet.

"I said, ' _come here,_ '" and as if that was his final command, he pressed the remote control to the highest intensity. Izaya immediately jolted and whined in protest. He quickly crawled back toward Shiki so that he would lower the volume of the vibrator, which he did.

"Shiki-san's cruel. That really hurt," Izaya said as he tried to climb up on Shiki's lap. Shizuo watched, still a bit breathless and aroused as Shiki picked him up under his armpit like a cat and set him on his lap. Izaya wrapped his arm around Shiki's neck by lowering his bound hands. He leaned closer and whispered with venom into Shiki's ears, "I'll kill you for this."

"No, you'll thank me later, Orihara-kun," Shiki smirked as he wrapped his hands around Izaya's sore ass and pulled him closer. Shiki spoke up louder for Shizuo to hear, "There, there. Did he hurt you?"

"That was entirely your fault, Shiki-san," Izaya growled back, not really hiding his extreme dissatisfaction. Shiki sighed as he turned to Shizuo, whose pants were still inappropriately pulled down as his hard cock was fully displayed to the world. "My sincerest apology. My pet didn't seem to have satisfied you after all."

"Well he tasted nasty," Izaya added as he stuck his tongue out at the bartender. Shizuo growled at the louse, remembering how much he hated him; whether the flea cried previously while being raped was erased from the debt collector's memory.

"Mind your manners to your guest, Orihara-kun."

"But his cock's way too big and it hurt like hell when your fucking  _lackey~_ ," Izaya emphasized that word as he glared behind Shiki and hissed, to which the Awakusu member twitched his eyebrow, "fucked me like a whore!"

Shizuo snorted, "You are one." Izaya gave him a deathly glare. He turned back to Shiki and added, "And I'm sore and hurt! How could you Shiki-san! All I ever wanted was you!"

That proclamation sort of stung Shizuo. He didn't really know why either.

Shiki sighed and excused himself as he faced his pouting pet. "Where does it hurt? Here?" Shiki started to finger Izaya's entrance. Immediately Izaya started to melt as Shiki knew exactly where and how he liked it.

"Aaah… nnng…. n-no… Ddee…deeper…" Izaya moaned. Shiki's finger dipped deeper as Izaya moaned louder. Shizuo watched and so did his tired cock that started to grow harder again with each of Izaya's moan. Shiki smirked and asked in a husky voice, "Does it hurt…  _here_?" and brushed against Izaya's prostate. Izaya moaned even louder as he clutched onto his master.

And all Shizuo could do was stare.

"Nnng…." Izaya panted and moaned as Shiki massaged his swollen prostate, rubbing it gently. Izaya twisted in Shiki's lap in pleasure, feeling much better compared to when he was being brutally assaulted. The Awakusu executive than reached in deeper to pull at the vibrator still lodged inside the young man and lowered it to his prostate, using it to massage him

"Aaaahnnggh….." Izaya yelped at first and then settled to a groan as his body shook in ecstasy.

"I… I want to come… please Shiki-san, let me come…" Izaya grinded himself onto Shiki with need as his cock twitched and tightened around the ring that held him from his orgasm.

"You're going to have to earn that, considering you failed your mission just now," Shiki said unsympathetically. Izaya hissed but bit back his complaint since whining would be useless at this point. He unhooked his arms around Shiki and twisted around to bring it down towards the man's white pants. There was a small sound of the zipper being unzipped along with the metal clinks of the buckles as Shiki's cock fell. After several rubs, which earned him a good shudder from Izaya, Shiki removed the vibrator from the informant's ass. The younger man brought his hands back up around Shiki's head, held onto the back of the couch as he lifted himself up and slowly lowered himself down. The fur trim coat that barely covered his ass wasn't long enough to cover the show. In fact it only amplified it as it framed just where the action was.

"Shit," Shizuo said as he looked away from such a vulgar scene. His mouth felt dry, reminding him of his cigarette. He really needed one right now, where was it? He had completely forgotten about it while Izaya was sucking on him and noticed that it had dropped on the floor and someone had stomped on already. When did he drop it? He didn't even remember dropping it.

By looking down, Shizuo noticed his pants for the first time. He cursed out loud and started zipping himself up. At least the guards behind him had let go of his shoulders so he can reach down to zip up. For now. Though his pants were pretty tight and it hurt to keep his hard cock inside.

"I'm out of here," Shizuo said as he tried to get up. But immediately, the two behind him grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back down.

"Ah, sorry to keep you waiting, Heiwajima-san," Shiki continued, his words unaffected by Izaya's moans or him riding him. "Where were we? Ah yes. The deal. The offer is still on the table."

"Screw you. I ain't taking it." At this point, Shizuo didn't even remember the offer. He had a vague idea that it was something about staying away from Awakusu's turf and offering Izaya as some sort of a sex slave.

Izaya was licking the long thin scar on Shiki's brow seductively as he brought himself up and down his cock. Shiki however just frowned as if it was a bother and pushed Izaya's face away so he can continue his negotiations.

"I do insist, Heiwajima-san. I assure you there will be certain…  _benefits_  to this deal."

"I said I ain't interested!" Shizuo growled this time as he got up, the two guys behind him were unable to hold him down this time. The two guards literally fell flat onto the couch as they lost balance. Izaya continued to purr and mew as Shiki looked up at Shizuo, undisturbed.

"Heiwajima-san. I seek have a peaceful negotiation. I'm quite sure you agree…" at this, all the men in the room, about ten of them, took out their guns and pointed at Shizuo's head. "… that violence is not necessary."


	6. Chapter 6

Shizuo looked from side to side. Once the synchronized sound of the safety being released was over, there was only the sound of Izaya moaning as he rode on top of Shiki. There was a thin smirk on Shiki's face as Shizuo looked down calmly. Anyone who knew Shizuo though, knew that he was almost at his exploding point.

"Peaceful, huh? Do you want to see how long it'll take me to take all your men down and demolish this place?" Shizuo cracked his knuckles. Shiki didn't look disturbed however, though his face was slowly flushing with Izaya's dedicated work.

"I doubt even you can take bullets from ten guns in your head and live, Heiwajima-san. And please, there are many alternatives to this situation. For example," Shiki smirked as he fingered Izaya's ass and stretched his entrance further, causing the informant to gasp and shudder.

"You haven't truly tasted our pet." Izaya froze at Shiki's words. Still shivering with arousal, he turned to face Shiki nervously. "S… Shiki… san?"

Shizuo too cocked his head to the side. "What are you getting at?"

"What I'm saying is, you can decide  _after_  you've tasted our sample. And you haven't finished tasting it."

"Shiki-san! You won't!" Izaya practically screamed into Shiki's ears. There was a note of desperation.

Shiki frowned at Izaya's outburst. "I believe I have said several times that pets do not talk. Do I need to re-train you?"

"Shiki-san! I've already let one of your fucking  _goons_  to fuck me and I even let you  _make_  me suck on that damn disgusting dick against my will! So if you think I'll let you-…!"

"Gag him." Shiki ordered with a bored look. Before Izaya could even finish his sentence, one of the men ripped off his own necktie and used it as a temporarily gag on Izaya's mouth, wrapping it tightly.

"Now then, where were we?" Shiki smiled back at Shizuo.

"The hell with you and your fucking samples. I'm not buying it." Shizuo retorted, meaning more ways than one.

"Surely a tiny taste can't hurt. Though I suppose if this meal isn't enticing, than I suppose you wouldn't miss it much if it's gone." Then the man, who had given up his necktie, pointed his gun at Izaya's head.

Shizuo burst out laughing at this ridiculous scene, "Are you using that louse as a bargaining chip? Everyone knows I want that flea dead!"

"Heiwajima-san, as much as we know of your reputation, do you really want someone to die because of you? A man of peace like yourself must not truly wish to see someone die in front of him, especially at a fault of his own. Besides…" Shiki caressed Izaya's flushed cheek as the raven haired man tried to talk behind the cloth.

"I've heard that your younger brother likes to star in action movies. It must be quite dangerous, you know… with all those wires and fake model guns with empty shell bullets… It would be quite a…  _…tragedy…_ " Shiki emphasized. "If those wires happen to cut accidentally, or those guns were loaded with real bullets." Shiki started to thrust upward. Izaya bounced once and came down on him hard. The informant groaned into the gag, his body shuddering.

Shizuo cracked his other hand's knuckles. "You're walking on a thin tightrope here yourself. Shall we find out who's faster, your men's bullet or my fists?"

"All I am saying is, I'm offering you a free sample. You may have a taste and then decide. You don't even have to decide today. You can go home and think about it some more." Shiki started to stretch Izaya's ass again as he plunged deeper, giving Shizuo a very good view of Izaya's other entrance.

"All you have to do is have a taste. Then you may go home unharmed. No one will get hurt. It's not bad of a deal, is it?"

Shizuo looked at Shiki dangerously, his eyes fuming with anger. Then he looked at Izaya, his most hated enemy. He looked pretty pathetic right now; his hands bound, his mouth gagged as he was forced to bounce up and down, using his ass to please the yakuza.

"Remove the guns." Shizuo said in a low voice.

"Heiwajima-san…." Shiki gave him a warning tone.

"I said remove the guns! How the fuck can one _fuck_ anyone if they got guns pointed at them?"

Shiki gauged the situation carefully. After surveying, he motioned the guns to be lowered. Shiki knew that Shizuo was an honest man who wouldn't go back on his words. The men hesitantly lowered their guns.

Shizuo walked up closer toward Izaya and Shiki as all the men watched in silence. The only sound in this room was Izaya's small whimper as he was forced to ride Shiki's cock.

"Oi, louse. You look pretty pathetic." Shizuo spoke to him directly. Izaya buried his face on Shiki's shoulder, not wishing to face him. The raven haired young man was panting through his nose as his body trembled with denied orgasm for a long period of time.

Shizuo started to unbuckle his pants and Shiki smirked. Izaya, hearing the noise, turned to look down to confirm his fear. He started to struggle, trying to untie himself and somehow get away from this situation.

"Hold him down." Shiki commanded and the man who originally had the gun pointed toward Izaya's head, crushed Izaya's head onto the couch and forced him to stay put.

Izaya squirmed, whining into his gag. He did not like this. He did not like not being in control of his situation; his freedom of speech and movement stolen from him. It wasn't so much that he was being raped that was the problem, but rather the fact that he wasn't in control of the circumstances he was in and that someone else was exerting control over him. The lack of power to change the situation to what he desired was what Izaya hated the most, to not  _know._  Knowledge was everything and the lack of knowledge and the unknown outcome of the future was what unsettled the informant. Just like how he hated Shizuo for not acting to his calculations, Izaya did not appreciate the fact that he was not informed of the situation he was in now and that it wasn't up to his decision that carried the flow of the events was what Izaya despised the most about his predicament. It was humiliating. And the humiliation ate his heart and ripped it to pieces painfully.

Izaya bit into the necktie that gagged his mouth and tried to prepare himself as Shizuo's hard cock touched the rim of his ass, which was already filled with Shiki's own cock. This was going to be painful. He wasn't going to enjoy it. After all being said and done, Izaya also did not enjoy being in pain, despite the rumors on the streets.

Shizuo too did not in his wildest dreams… no scratch that, since he did dream it. In fact, the DVD not only helped him dream it several times, but also made him think about it daily and nightly. Shizuo clenched his teeth. Either way, even if that DVD had helped him to think about fucking Izaya, he did not ever think that he'd fuck Izaya in this manner, while rubbing and feeling the dick of someone else at the same time.

Shizuo held onto Izaya's waist from behind and started to push himself inside.

"Nnngh….!" Izaya bit into his gag and trembled as he felt himself being stretched once more. Shiki continued to stretch Izaya with his fingers, helping Shizuo enter further. 'Fuck…!' was the only thing Izaya could think of as he felt Shizuo's large cock force its way inside him. He knew how large Shizuo's meat was through pictures and by figures but to actually  _know_  it in this fashion was something completely different. It was already too big, and having it inside him along with Shiki's was mind-shatteringly painful. Tears were forming by the corners of Izaya's eyes. His hands were wrapped around Shiki's neck and he was unable to wipe them away as it fell down to the side of his head.

"It… It's too tight…" Shizuo grunted as he held onto Izaya's trembling body. He felt his hard cock slide against the other man's meat as he slowly felt Izaya's hot walls envelope him.

"You're too nice, Heiwajima-san. He's only a pet, easily replaceable. You don't have to be so kind." Shiki spoke in his droll voice. As if that's the cue, one of the men marches up and lifts his leg as if he was about to kick Shizuo and help him bury himself inside Izaya.

"If you kick me…" Shizuo said in his low, quiet voice that sent shivers down the Yakuza underling's spine. "… then I hope you are prepared. Since that means I also have the right to kick you, fuck you up and rip a new hole in your other end,  _HUH?_ " Shizuo turned around and glared at the man threateningly. The man gulped and pulled back hesitantly.

Shiki nodded his head and the young subordinate hurried back to his position. Shizuo growled at Shiki, "I'm doing this at  _my_  pace, or the deal is off."

"Suit yourself." Shiki said, agreeably.

Shizuo took a deep breath and then slowly pushed himself again. Izaya moaned, his head still crushed under the other man's hand, though he tried to move himself a bit closer toward Shiki, his gagged necktie brushing against the older man's neck. Izaya was well lubricated luckily, so he was slick enough inside, but there were limits to everything.

"Here," Shiki started to pull out just a bit, giving Shizuo enough room to try to push himself inside. Shizuo panted, feeling the slippery lubrication and Shiki's cock stroke him as the Yakuza pulled out. Tightening his hold on Izaya's hips, Shizuo started to move in deeper, easier now that Izaya wasn't completely filled.

Once Shizuo was more than half-way in, in a tantalizingly slow motion in hopes it'll lessen than pain and the damage, Shiki also started to push himself back inside. Izaya yelped when Shiki purposefully used the tip of his head to thrust into his prostate, blinding him temporarily as he saw stars and his body trembled. It was painful. It felt good. Izaya panted roughly against Shiki's neck, his eyes shut closed as he clung to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Feeling the other man's cock squeeze along with his own as they were both encompassed by tight hot wall was something Shizuo had never thought he'd experience in his entire life. It was partially disgusting yet the tightness and the fiery hotness that scorched through his body were strangely arousing at the same time. Shizuo pushed himself in as far as he wanted too and paused. "Now what."

Shiki couldn't help but chuckle. "You're not all the way in, Heiwajima-san." Shizuo growled back, "I'm not going in any further than this." Shizuo could feel Izaya shivering in pain under him and that did not make him feel good. He thought he would always be happy about seeing Izaya suffer, which he never did get to see until now. Shizuo felt sick with something heavy and black sink into his stomach as he saw Izaya actually in pain.

"What a lovely friendship you two have," Shiki commented.

"We do  _not_  have…! Nngh…!" Shizuo groaned when Shiki started to thrust himself all the way in, pushing Shizuo's cock inside Izaya with him. Izaya bit into the necktie as he clung onto Shiki desperately. One sharp thrust buried both of them together, and to Shiki's amusement, Shizuo and Izaya groaned in unison.

Shiki motioned at his minion to let go of Izaya's head and he does so. After Izaya's head was released from the man's grasp, Shiki asked, "How does it feel?"

"Way… too tight…" Shizuo answered as his face flushed with arousal. It was tight and hot. Though the ex-bartender himself refused to move, Shiki started to move up and down slowly, making both of them try to swallow their moans in denial. Shiki's cock rubbed against Shizuo's, pushing it against the fiery walls of Izaya's ass as he massaged it. Each time Shiki pushed back in, he brushed against Izaya's sweet spot he knew so well, earning him a moan.

Shiki unhooked Izaya's arms around him and pushed the man toward Shizuo. Izaya slumped back, leaning against the muscular blond. "Please, help yourself to him Heiwajima-san." Shizuo gulped as he looked down at Izaya, his hair messed and wet with sweat, streams of dried tears on his rosy cheeks, and his eyes still shut closed. Slowly Izaya opened his eyes and looked up and Shizuo noticed that his dulled crimson eyes were unfocused and brimming with tears again. Shizuo had this strange urge to kiss them away, which he forced them back. Part of him was disgusted that he wanted to kiss the louse, while the other half of him just wanted to take this battered man out of here and take him home.

"I'm sure you've seen the DVD I've sent you," Shiki continued as he pushed in and out along with Shizuo inside the informant. Shizuo looked away from Izaya to glare at Shiki. So it was him after all.

"So you should know Orihara-kun's favorite spots." Shiki smirked. "You do wish to ease his pain, do you not?"

Izaya must have heard him despite the pain because he suddenly leaned forward, as if his lips sought Shiki's. Shiki raised his eyebrow calmly at Izaya's action as he leaned back and away. He grabbed Izaya by the chin and threw him back into Shizuo's arms.

"Oh no, I'm not touching your dirty little mouth after you've sucked on a cock, Orihara-kun." Shizuo almost lost his temper at Shiki's insensitive words toward a man he had forced to do the 'cocksucking' but he just grinded his teeth in anger as he held Izaya close.

Shiki smirked as he noticed Shizuo glare at him in anger. "You may give him a kiss if you want, Heiwajima-san."

Shizuo looked blankly at Shiki, slightly stunned at the notion. His face clearly showed that he had never thought of that. He looked down at Izaya and Izaya looked up at him tiredly. Shizuo swallowed as he saw Izaya's flushed face and wincing in pain as both cocks drilled into him. Before Shizuo could even make up his mind if he wanted to kiss the louse or not, Izaya turned his face away first, refusing it. Shizuo's heart felt crushed in dejection.

Shiki chuckled as he watched them in amusement. "There is more than just one way to please this pet, Heiwajima-san. For example…" Shiki, still thrusting slowly in and out of Izaya, leaned forward and sucked on one of Izaya's pert nipple. Izaya moaned despite the blinding pain he was feeling below him which he was slowly getting used to. Shizuo's face flushed even more as he watched from below, his cock being squeezed and rubbed against tightly. His hardened cock wanted to cry and his hip wanted to thrust harder to make Izaya feel him, but he couldn't allow himself the pleasure when the man he was exhorting the pleasure from was in this much pain.

Shiki lightly bit on the pink nipple and pulled. Shizuo's eyes widened as Izaya yelped into his gag and felt him tremble violently in his arms. Izaya's hardened cock shook fiercely as well, the cockring barely holding him down. Shizuo realized that Izaya had reached his orgasm just from that when Izaya clenched his ass tightly, trapping both cocks inside him. There was a sickening burn that went through his system from watching Izaya tremble with ecstasy in his arms as Shiki licked at the abused nipple before pulling back. Shiki gave a daring look at Shizuo.

Shizuo scowled but he gave it a try as his hands, which were on Izaya's hips, tentatively caressed down the informant's hipbone. Izaya shivered under him and moaned a bit, his eyes half-lid. Following the line, Shizuo brushed against Izaya's hair below, feeling weird as he touched another man's pubic hair. Shizuo flinched a bit at Shiki's cock rubbing him as he wrapped his hand around Izaya's condom wrapped cock. This earned him another twitch from the maltreated cock and Izaya twisted and turned against him. When Shizuo started stroking the neglected cock, Izaya immediately buried his face to the side, shaking his head violently, as if he was pleading him to stop. His stomach was already feeling full and his ass stretched to monstrous proportions, the fact that his most hated enemy pitied him by giving him a handjob was just too much for Orihara Izaya to handle.

Izaya mewed as another tear started to fall down his cheek, his chest heaving up and down in arousal as Shizuo continuously fondled his tormented cock while his ass was filled with two hard cocks rubbing him raw. Shizuo closed his eyes and concentrated as he too started thrusting now, unable to contain his desires as he felt Shiki's cock sliding against him as they moved in and out consecutively. Even Shiki stopped his usual tactless comments as he too was nearing his climax.

All three of them moved, moaning, groaning and grunting as they started to reach closer and closer to their own orgasms. The men in the room gulped and watched on standing guard as some of their pants tightened. Shizuo's thrust grew just a bit hurried and desperate, wanting his release as he fought against his urge from his base desires of not wanting to hurt anyone. Izaya lied in the arms of Shizuo, riding out the thrusts mixed with pain and a bit of pleasure as waves of humiliation crashed down on him as his hard cock was teasingly aroused from Shizuo's gentle touches. Tears were streaming down as he leaned back broken, wanting everything to be over already. There was too much pain, too much pleasure and the intensity of it all destroyed any form of thoughts from Izaya's should-be complex mind as his basic desires and needs took over him.

Izaya bounced between the two men weakly, his body burning and melting in the heat. Shizuo bent forward and shot his load into Izaya as he was overcome with blinding pleasure and ecstasy, pushing the listless informant closer to Shiki. Shizuo and Izaya both trembled as Shizuo's sticky load filled him to the brim and covered both cocks which were trapped inside. Izaya clung onto Shiki's shirt as he felt himself being filled. After he wad done with his load, Shizuo groaned with overload of pleasure as Shiki still continued to pound into Izaya.

"Already, Heiwajima-san?" Shiki mocked. But Shizuo didn't have much energy except to groan since he was unable to pull out with Shiki's thrusts, afraid of ripping Izaya if he were to pull out carelessly. Izaya, clinging tighter on to the white suits, leaned forward once again pleading with his eyes. Shiki sighed.

"Just this once, since you did manage to satisfy our guest." Shiki pulled on the leash and kissed him through the necktie that covered Izaya's mouth. Shizuo could see Izaya trembling as his tongue tried to feel Shiki's through the thick cloth. The yakuza pulled off the cockring as he gave a sharp thrust, cumming thickly inside Izaya. Shizuo groaned as he felt the other man's cock come to his orgasm and sent tiny tremors down his own cock. As soon as the cockring came off, Izaya shook violently as orgasm hit him, filling the condom that trapped his seed. Blinding light and waves of crushing overloads of sickening pleasure took over his body as Izaya continued to lean and try to lick and kiss Shiki's lips and tongue through the thick necktie that barricaded his sweet nectar from his reach. Each time Shiki licked back at the cloth, Shizuo could feel Izaya tremble and see the young informant cum extra squirts into the condom.

Finally finished, Izaya slumped over, clinging to Shiki as he fell unconscious.

Just then, there was a knock on the door as a man in red suits walked in. "Have you finished, Shiki-san?" He looked at the scene and raised an eyebrow. "Am I… interrupting?"

Shizuo glanced over to see who had come in. He was a tall man sporting a spiked back red hair. He wore a shade but it did not hide his ugly scar on his eye. The man carried a walking cane, though he didn't seem to be using it for the original purpose it was created for since he had it on his shoulder. Shizuo looked at the man who spoke in a polite voice and scowled. Something about him was different from the other men he had met, no matter how 'nice' he talked.

"Akabayashi," Shiki nodded in acknowledgement. "We're almost done here," and with that, Shiki pulled out, which also forced Shizuo out along with him.

Shizuo winced when the cum mixed with blood dripped out and down Izaya's legs. It sickened him again as he realized that he had hurt someone. Shizuo was always wary of his powers and even though this time it might not have been his own fault and no matter how much he told himself that he tried to keep his power in control, and no matter how much he could blame all this on Shiki, it still sickened him to know that he took a part in hurting someone. The blood on both of their cocks was a clear indication that Shizuo had participated in this detrimental act.


	8. Chapter 8

Shizuo staggered back a bit dizzily but stood his ground. He refused to run away from this situation.

"Take him away," Shiki ordered and two of Awakusu-kai members stripped Izaya off of Shiki and carelessly dragged away the unconscious man on the floor. Akabayashi looked at the scene with only half interest as he turned his head to follow where they were taking him outside. Once they turned at the fork of the hallway, Akabayashi's eyes were back on Shizuo with a bemused grin.

One of the men walked up to give a box of tissue to Shizuo. He looked at the box and at Shiki and frowned to note that the yakuza had already finished cleaning up as if it was just ordinary business like taking a piss in the bathroom and zipped up. As Shizuo too took the tissue and cleaned up the blood and cum, he realized that Shiki had not used a condom when he penetrated Izaya, nor did he ask Shizuo to use it either. By purposefully not using it, Shiki had successfully and cunningly corrupted Shizuo, forcing him to take a dip together in his sin and clearly leaving a mark with blood. Clean business his ass!

"A smoke perhaps?" Shiki said casually as he handed one of his own to Shizuo. Shizuo took it, scowl still on his face. Shiki chuckled.

"Heiwajima-san. Was he not to your liking?"

Shizuo didn't say anything as he put the cigarette in his mouth.

Shiki stood up as he took out his Zippo adorned with an engraved dragon. He flicked it to lit up Shizuo's cigarette first and frowned when it failed on him. The yakuza apologized with a light gesture of his eyes as he continued to flick at it some more. After several tries, he was finally able to get the fire going. Both Shizuo and Shiki leaned forward, their forehead almost touching briefly as both of their cigarettes burned together, as if sealing a contract. Immediately, Shizuo tasted deep bitterness as he inhaled, the dark flavor blackening his lungs before he exhaled it.

"This… is an import." Shizuo noted as he straightened up. Shiki nodded with a smile. Shizuo frowned. He preferred his cigarettes to taste sweet and light, not this bitter dark that made his lungs heavy. Shiki smirked as he noted the frown.

"If you're worried about Orihara-kun. Don't be. Good thing abut this guy is that he has fast  _recovery time_." Shiki smirked, meaning more ways than one. Shizuo didn't seem to catch his drift. "With a little training he'll be all over you." Shiki added to further explain 'which' recovery time he was referring to.

"You speak as if I don't know him." Shizuo exhaled his smoke that seemed to mingle and dance with Shiki's breath.

"Because you don't. Not like I do." Shizuo's frown darkened as Shiki's smirk widened knowingly.

"Heiwajima-san. It was good seeing you. My men will show you the way out." Shiki ended their conversation just like that as he sat back down on his couch.

"I'll show the way out to Heiwajima-san, Shiki-san." Akabayashi smiled and Shiki nodded in confirmation.

"I'll be waiting to hear good news from you, Heiwajima Shizuo-san." Shiki ended with a smirk as Shizuo stepped out scowling at the yakuza. The Awakusu-kai men closed the door behind him.

Heiwajima Shizuo and Akabayashi of Awakusu-kai walked side-by-side down the hallway. All the men gave way and gawked in awe as the two tall men walked down the hallway as if they owned the place. They exuded manly hormones, though they may not be extra buff, their muscles rippled under their clothes as they marched forward. Shizuo had a perpetual scowl on his brow while Akabayashi adorned his face with a gentle smile that was marred by the nasty scar on his eye. These two men sharply contrasted each other even though they were so alike. Just one of them alone could demolish a city. With two of them side by side like this, the poor building seem to shake, unable to handle their aura.

Akabayashi was silent as he walked next to Shizuo, his cane on his shoulder tapping with his pace still instead of using it for guidance. Some may have found his silence to be nerve-wrecking, but for Shizuo he couldn't care less. If anything, he was glad of the silence because there was a lot on his mind right now. If it had been any of Shiki's underlings who was guiding him and eyed him weird, or tried to scare him or be scared of him, whichever, Shizuo would have snapped his cigarette in two and punched his lights out and out the window in a blink of an eye.

But Akabayashi's silence as he just did his job without making a scene helped Shizuo. He couldn't say he was thankful for it since he had nothing to thank Awakusu-kai for in anything right now.

They calmly walked toward the elevator. Everyone stepped out to let the two men in. The elevator seems to groan as if those two men were heavier than being over crowded with 20 men inside. Within the privacy of the elevator, Akabayashi finally spoke, "Heiwajima-san. Thank you for saving Anri-chan that night." Akabayashi turned to face Shizuo and grinned. "I truly appreciate it. You have my gratitude."

"Who?" Shizuo looked up at Akabayashi, confused. He was in middle of his thought but the name didn't ring a bell at all.

Akabayashi just chuckled as he faced forward. "Ah, it's nothing."

After a small ding, they both stepped out and Akabayashi quietly led him outside without a single problem from any of the Awakusu-kai members who might have tried to stir some trouble.

As Shizuo walked out, back into the sunlight and away from the dark building, Akabayashi called out, "Heiwajima-san~"

Shizuo turned. Akabayashi waved with a smile. "We'll see you soon." With a grin, Akabayashi turned and walked back

Shizuo scowled as he took out his cigarette that burned his lungs more than relax him and stepped on it. It stank. Everything reeked. The whole situation reeked and stank.

As he walked away from the building, he noticed a patrol on his motorcycle, eyeing on him. His helmet on, his large sunglasses covering his eyes, and his red scarf blowing in the wind like Kamen Rider, he lazily smoked his cigarette as his eyes followed every movement of Shizuo as he walked out of the building.

Kinnosuke Kuzuhara spoke up as Shizuo passed him. "Don't take the law lightly young man. We may let you go when you tear apart this city's every single traffic lights… but if you decide to walk along the paths with  _them,_ " the police officer emphasized as he nodded toward the direction of the Awakusu-kai building, "then I wouldn't hold back to drag you to jail, punk."

Shizuo stood there and did not comment as the traffic police officer drove off after leaving his warning. The young citizen of Ikebukuro looked up at the clear sky that did not match his gloomy heart.

Something was rotting in this city and it stank.

* * *

There was a heavy knock on the door. Rather, it was more like a kick. Several kicks.

Namie frowned at the rude client. Normally their clients knew the passcode, so feeling suspicious, Namie walked up to see who it was before she opened the door. Through the camera monitor, she saw two burly men in suits and in between them was her boss slumped unconsciously.

Surprised, she quickly unlocked the door and allowed them in. She didn't say anything as they carried, no rather, dragged the man between them to his bed room. She walked with them to watch them plop the informant on the bed and promptly left. Namie closed the bedroom door behind her, half curious of the cause behind it, but not that curious about the well-being of her employer.

Five hours passed, she had finished her work and got ready to go home. The entire five hours, there was no sound of movement from the bedroom.

"I'm going home," she announced and waited. Normally she would at least hear his annoying voice pipe up something obnoxious regarding her eagerness to return home to her brother. Still there was nothing.

Yagiri Namie sighed. She muttered to herself that she did not care for the well-being of her boss. She couldn't care any less if he was dead or alive, but if she was charged with murder because she was the last person to be seen in the same room with him, she'd dig his grave, burn his corpse and curse his family line forever.

"Orihara-san! Wake up!" Namie shouted as she opened the door. She froze as she realized that Izaya had not moved an inch from the position he was left in. He was still crumpled in bed, twisted around in an uncomfortable position.

She quickly rushed to him to check his pulse and sighed in relief to hear his heart beating. At least she wasn't going to have the police on her back any time soon. She turned him over to check his face. He was very pale and he was sweating heavily. Though it disgusted her, she hesitated several times before she placed the palm of her hand on his face.

Sure enough, he was burning hot.

She checked him out from head to toe to notice that he wasn't wearing his clothes properly. Rather, it seemed someone had just pulled the clothes back on him. She smelled something burnt coming off of her boss, as well as a weird mixture of sweat and heavy cologne. To her dismay she also smelled a faint trace of blood.

She had gathered enough information to know that she definitely didn't want to touch him nor did she wish to be framed into being the murderer here. So she promptly called a certain underground doctor who was practically Izaya's family doctor for everything.

* * *

When Celty heard that Izaya's secretary had called in emergency, she agreed to drive Shinra to his place. Normally they worked separately but it wasn't as if Izaya was a stranger to both of them, despite the fact that they both weren't particular fond of the man who caused so much mischief.

Namie showed them in once they arrived. There was an awkward silence from Celty while Namie just acknowledged her existence with a short nod and moved on to show them in. Once inside Izaya's bed room Shinra immediately got to work.

"Did you touch him at all, Yagiri-san?" Shinra asked as he moved Izaya to a more comfortable position. He had noted that his body was left twisted around strangely.

"I only touched his wrist to check his pulse and his face for his temperature." Namie said aloofly. Shinra didn't comment at her coldness, not even moving her boss to a more easy position instead of leaving him there heartlessly. Though of course, altering the scene could be a problem later too if it led to a death case. As Shinra moved Izaya, he noted that the bed sheet was spotted with a bit of blood.

"Could you tell me more about what happened? His clothes are on backwards." Shinra said as he propped up Izaya with the pillows.

"I noticed that." Namie shrugged. "He went to meet up with his clients this morning. He came back five hours ago, or rather, dragged back by two men. He was unconscious then. They left him here and I called you when he didn't get up."

Shinra nodded as he checked Izaya's pulse and temperature. He pulled up the informant's shirt making Celty and Namie wince. There was a clear black burnt mark in the middle of his chest that was a size of a cigarette burn. There were also a few reddish love bites though it didn't look like they were recent since they were healing, not that Celty would know though Shinra could tell.

"Alright ladies, if you'll excuse me."Shinra started to unbuckle Izaya's pants as a signal and the two women promptly left.

After 5 minutes, Shinra came out and closed the door behind him.

"Will he live?" Namie asked.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He'll need some stitches though, it seemed like they played pretty rough with him this time and…"

"Stop! I don't care to know the details. As long as he doesn't die, I couldn't care less." Namie held up her hand and stopped the doctor. Shinra nodded as he adjusted his glasses.

"I can do a quick stitching right now but he'll need to be taken care of for at least 4-5 days."

Namie shrugged, "I'm not interested. If he'll live then I'm fine with that." She grabbed her purse and started walking out the door.

"Wait! There's certain precaution you need to take into consideration when…" Shinra called out but Namie coldly replied, "I'm not taking care of him. I'm his secretary, not his babysitter. And I've already worked over time." And with that, she closed the door shut behind her.

Shinra sighed. Celty typed on her PDA, [What should we do? We can't leave him.]

"I suppose so. But you and I are also too busy to take care of him…" Shinra frowned. "I guess we'll have to just hospitalize him with a fever and diarrhea or something so that he gets treated after I stitch him up."

[Diarrhea?]

"Ah yes. Well, he can't use his rectum right now you see, it's pretty torn up. He'll have to live through nutrition in I.V. and…"

Celty couldn't type fast enough to stop Shinra in time as she shoved her PDA in front of the doctor, [Ok, enough! I don't want to know!]


	9. Chapter 9

Shizuo sighed glumly as he leaned against one of the overhead lights and watched the busy streets of Ikebukuro. It was night time and it still bustled with cars and people, all of them travelling with some destination in mind. Some of them were going home to their loved ones; some of them were going to meet someone.

Shizuo felt lost, lost in every sense of the word. He didn't know where he was going, where he wanted to go, what he wanted to do, or what he should be doing. His only company in this lonely journey was his cigarette that quietly burned all the way to the butt leaving behind a long stick of ashes that barely held on.

After a slow burn, the ashes fell from his cigarette and even his last companion deserted him.

Shizuo took the cigarette from his mouth, stepped on it and sighed.

He didn't want to burden someone busy like Kasuka nor did he want to worry his boss Tom more than necessary.

So he called his one other friend he had. Celty.

After a quick text, fumbling with his big fingers on the tiny keypad, Celty replied almost instantly, [I'll be right there. At the usual place? Give me 20 minutes, doing my last delivery.]

Shizuo smiled weakly. He can always trust his silent friend.

* * *

True to her words, Celty arrived in about 18 minutes to the small park by the fountains. She rushed to his side and quickly typed on her PDA, [What's up?]

Shizuo smiled. "Nothing. I just wanted to talk. How was your last delivery?"

[It went fine.] Celty showed. She seemed to hesitate a bit, as if she wasn't sure if she should go on, but she took back her PDA and typed some more. [Don't get mad, but it involved Izaya. I had to deliver him to the hospital.]

"Hospital?" The blonde looked genuinely shocked. Normally Celty was a very good courier and kept her delivery information a secret. But even she was a bit shaken by the state that Orihara Izaya was in and felt the need to calm her nerves. She nodded in confirmation to Shizuo's stunned outburst. Shizuo swallowed hard feeling very sick and his heart felt heavy.

"How… is he?" Celty was a bit surprised that Shizuo didn't burst out laughing at Izaya's pain or asking how he got injured. She started to write her reply. She wrote a few words uncertainly, erased them, wrote a few more, and erased them again, trying to decide her word choices carefully. She didn't want Shizuo to blow up on her, though it seemed like he was shaken as much as she. Or perhaps more so, strangely enough.

[Shinra says he should be fine, but you know how he is. He thinks a man riddled with bullets is fine and stitches people without much interest. ] She erased the part that concerned Shinra's more unnatural interests in other supernatural since it was unnecessary. Shizuo nodded to show that he read it. Celty took it back to write some more.

[He was unconscious for more than five hours when we got there. He was bleeding and seemed to have some sort of torture marks. And well…]

Celty took back the PDA because she ran out of room to type but her hands were obviously shaking now.

[He looked really sick and pale. Shinra said he had fever too and I could feel him burning up as I held him. He felt so light. I'm worried.]

Celty quickly wrote some more.

[I'm, I'm sorry for blabbing so much when it was you who called me first to talk. I'll be fine now. So what's up?]

Celty's helmet cocked to one side questioningly as she watched her quiet friend. He just stood there calmly reading her words. That was very unlike him. Celty grew a bit nervous and wondered if she spoke too much about Izaya when she knew that Shizuo hated his guts.

Celty wrote some more, [Shizuo?] and tapped on him to wake him from his trance.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Umm… yeah." Shizuo took a deep breath and let it out as he scratched his blond hair vigorously in frustration.

[Shizuo, it's okay. Thanks for listening. So how was your day?]

But before Shizuo could even read her PDA he asked her directly, "can you take me to the hospital where Izaya's at?"

Celty obviously hesitated even more. [Will you promise you wouldn't hurt him?]

"Yeah. I… I promise."

Celty nodded as she tossed him a helmet made of her shadows. Shizuo got on the back of her bike and they both rode into the night.

* * *

It was around 11pm when Shizuo and Celty arrived at the general hospital. The waiting room was empty as they walked up to the counter with two bored nurses.

"How may I help you?" one of the nurses announced in a very bored tone as she smacked her bubble gum. Shizuo didn't really care for her attitude.

Celty took over as she typed on her PDA, [May we ask which room Orihara Izaya is in?]

The nurse rolled her eyes, "Oh, you mean the man who's here over just some fever, fatigue and diarrhea? I can't believe a grown up man like that can't even take care of himself at his age. We shouldn't give out beds for dumb patients like him, we have a lot more patients with serious injuries who really need their rooms too. " Celty didn't comment on the fact that the nurse just casually gave out private medical information on patients at the hospital.

"Sorry, but visiting hours are over." She shrugged and went back to her 'work'.

[We insist!] Celty wrote on her PDA but the nurse didn't look up to read it.

"We'd like to see Izaya. It's important." Shizuo quietly spoke up, hiding his agitation.

"I said, the visiting hours are ov-"

Shizuo leaned over and put his hands on the counter, crushing the entire wall and shattering the plastic window like it was made out of paper-thin glass.

"I insist." Shizuo added softly.

"He's in room 404!" The nurses immediately piped up in unison.

Shizuo stalked off. Celty quickly typed [Thank you.] and ran to catch up with her friend. The nurses stared blankly at the empty space (and destroyed counter in front of them), petrified.

* * *

Shizuo stopped in front of the room 404. He stood there, uncertain if he should open the door. Beyond that room was his sin and guilt, lying in bed crippled because of his actions. It didn't matter that it was the louse, he wasn't sure if he wanted to witness the amount of damage he had done.

Celty tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to read her PDA which said, [Don't worry. I'm with you.] Celty wasn't sure what was making Shizuo make such a pained expression but she knew one thing, that Shizuo was clearly hurt by this incident. She wasn't sure how it was connected but that didn't matter to her.

Shizuo nodded back, grateful that she was with him. She carefully turned the knob as quietly as possible so she wouldn't disturb anyone and opened the door.

They wordlessly walked in together and Celty closed the door behind her. Shizuo silently stood by Izaya's bed side. Izaya had a needle up in his arm with the I.V. packet hung besides him. He appeared to be asleep, though his face was flushed with fever, his lips dry and parched. The towel that was on his forehead was dry and had slipped off of him.

Shizuo took the neglected towel and soaked it in the water basin that was on the counter next to the bed. The water wasn't even cold but lukewarm. Shizuo frowned but he squeezed the towel and started to gently wipe the sweat off of Izaya's face.

Celty watched quietly, standing to the side. She had never seen Shizuo show such tenderness to Izaya before and was a bit stunned. She hadn't told her friend that Izaya was rap…

Celty shook her head violently. She knew it was the truth but she didn't want to form the idea into a solid reality by defining it with a word. She decided that Shizuo wasn't going to hurt Izaya after all and quietly left the room. It looked like Shizuo wanted to be left alone with him and just knowing that Izaya was being taken care of was enough for Celty to feel a bit relieved.

Shizuo finished wiping Izaya's sweat as his eyes lingered on those parched lips. Seeing them parted like that bothered him. He dumped the towel and squeezed the water out again to clean it and then he carefully glossed over Izaya's lips with the wet towel in hopes that it'll hydrate it somewhat. Once Shizuo wiped Izaya's face, he felt his cheek with the back of his hand. He was still very warm.

The blonde caressed him gently as he watched his sleeping face. He was breathing roughly in pain and it reminded Shizuo all too clearly of a certain trauma as a kid regarding a kind shop owner. He had never wanted to hurt her. The older he grew, stronger Shizuo grew and he knew his own monstrous strength all too well. One thing Shizuo could always count on, even if he hated it, was that Izaya always managed to escape from him unscathed. Except this time, it wasn't the case.

He had thought that hurting Izaya would bring him joy but in the end Shizuo was never the type to find enjoyment in pain of others. It caused him pain to see others in pain.

"I bet you did this on purpose louse." Shizuo mumbled. "I bet this is one of your master plans to hurt me and you damn well did that once again." Izaya did not reply. Shizuo frowned as he could still hear and feel Izaya moan against him. It was a sickening image. He felt sicker realizing that he even had the desire in him.

Shaken at seeing such a pale and weak Izaya, Shizuo traced his parted lips one last time with his finger, trying to wet it. He bit back the urge to kiss him, a strange stomach-turning yearning he could not comprehend why he even had it to begin with, and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference on Room 404: Tribute to the amazing writer for a certain fanfic on the kinkmeme called "Cell 404". I love you dearly anon!author, you win my internet and rock my world *heart*
> 
> Thank you for reading thus far!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a small section of Izaya x Kida smut in this chapter. Think of this as extra side-story at the end of the book. For those who are not fans of Izakida and Kizaya, you don't have to read it since it'll be irrelevant to the story and the content of the matter will not appear in the future plot. But for those who want the extra goody stories offered at the end, then do go ahead ^^

"Namie-san~ That was really, really cruel~ I hate hospitals you know. Nasty place, hospitals. They wouldn't let you even walk or eat freely without permission. I can't believe you dumped me there for 3 days straight." Izaya whined and complained as he lied on his belly on top of his black sofa, as he read through his files. He had 3 days of work to catch up to.

"Stop being butthurt and get back to work." Namie said as she filed away the books back into the correct shelves. She was up on the ladder to file away at the top shelves as Kida handed her the materials half-way.

"That's nothing new, Yagiri-san, Izaya-san's always been a sore in the ass." Kida chipped in slyly as he passed the files to Namie.

"Betrayed by my own employees! Oh, woe is me!" Izaya threw his hands in the air dramatically and both of his workers ignored him.

Izaya frowned. He didn't like being ignored. At all. So he decided to get their attention another way.

"Oh, look at the time! How time flies when one has fun~ it's time for my medicine!"

Both Namie and Kida froze. Kida started to lower the books and files slowly, getting ready for a mad dash to the front door.

"Now let's see. The instructions says that I'm to apply this cold cream in my ass every- oh~ about 6 hours or so. And there's nooOOoo waaay I can apply this inside my ass by myself."

Namie scowled. "If you think I'll ever help you with that, I quit."

"But, I've always had all these cute nurses apply it inside me every time I was at the hospital~" Izaya lied with a big grin on his face.

"I refuse. I'll file sexual harassment suit if you continue to pursue the matter. Besides you have a perfectly healthy young male gender employee under you."

Kida glared at Namie and Namie shrugged that said, 'Well, I have to save my own skin first.'

"Izaya-san, I'll charge you for nonconsensual sexual activities with a minor if you proceed as well." Kida spoke up as he started to climb down the ladder.

"Sigh, I'm so unloved by my co-workers. Oh well, at least I know there's one person who loves me." Izaya said as he picked up his phone.

Kida froze, half way across the floor, toward the door. "You… you wouldn't!"

"Saki-chan's in the city today isn't she?" Izaya smiled as he started to dial slowly. Kida knew the sound of that dial all too well.

"Fuck you Izaya-san!" Kida ran and yanked the cellphone out of Izaya's gasp.

"So. Which will it be?" Izaya's predatory smile sent shivers down Kida's spine.

* * *

**-SIDE STORY –**

**Author's note:  
WARNING: Izaya x Kida smut**

 

Well of course, Izaya didn't mind taking off his pants in his own office room but Namie refused and raised hell telling them to get a room, so Izaya and Kida moved their location to Izaya's bedroom (to Kida's dismay and Izaya's glee)

The bed sank under the weight of two of them as Izaya leaned back against his pillows and Kida was carefully reading the descriptions on the tube. He didn't really want to read it but he re-read it at least 4 times, trying to stall time.

Izaya, getting bored, started to take off his pants.

"I-Izaya-san?" Kida exclaimed as Izaya tossed his pants away and started to pull down his boxers.

"Hmm? What is it Kida-kun. Did you want to help?" Izaya playfully tugged at his boxers just a bit, only revealing his sculpted hip bones that led to his pubic hair. Kida wanted to puke at the sight.

"N-no. It's nothing. I thought… well… I thought it'd be best if you're all on fours and you only pulled down your boxers just a little bit…" Kida's face flushed as he looked down, his hands on his knees as he sat in Japanese tea-ceremony way. He really did not want to see Izaya's full cock.

Izaya chuckled, "My, Kida-kun. I had no idea you preferred the doggy-style. How bold of you on our first time."

"You're making this sound perverted on purpose aren't you," Kida accused him.

Izaya just smirked and did as he was told. He turned around and bent over, his ass in the air towards Kida.

Kida gulped at the sight. He felt really, really sick.

He unscrewed the cap and poured the cool cream that tingled his sensations onto his fingers. It had a light minty smell. Then, half scared, Kida started to insert one of his fingers inside. He could feel his boss twitch and the walls around his finger close up a bit tighter. Feeling a bit braver with a little bit of power and control he realized he had over his boss, Kida started to dip in deeper.

Izaya immediately arched and bit into the sheets to keep his moan from escaping his lips. He hissed back, "K-Kida-kun. Let me remind you to go a bit slower. If you prolong my healing process, do know that it's also extending the time you'll have to administer the medicine."

"You should relax more, Izaya-san~ we already know you're pretty loose here after all," Kida replied back sarcastically to hide his own nervousness. But he did start to move in slower now. He pulled his finger out to apply more of the cold cream on his finger. Again, he re-entered, much more carefully and gently. Izaya relaxed into the finger as Kida continued to massage him. Kida probed a bit, making sure that Izaya's walls were completely lathered with the cream. Izaya was becoming slicker inside and each time Kida's finger twirled inside him, the informant gripped onto the sheets in front and closed his eyes.

"Nnngh!" Izaya arched his back suddenly, pressing himself further against the bed like a cat when Kida rubbed his prostate. Kida almost jerked back at the sudden movement, wondering if he had hurt his employer. Curiously, he brushed against the same spot again to get another jolt of reaction from his boss. The little blond smirked, "Izaya-san~ is that your sweet spot?" and feeling more cocky with Izaya under him, Kida started to rub against the prostate harder.

Izaya groaned. Despite the pain, it also felt very good. His length started twitching immediately as he desperately wanted more. He wanted to shake his hips and thrust into the finger. But it wasn't enough.

"You're like a female cat in heat, Izaya-san~ so slutty, no wonder you make such a great impersonation as Kanra-chan," Kida continued to snark as he twisted his finger around Izaya's prostate, quite enjoying the powertrip.

"Oh? Well, Kida-kun…" Izaya panted as he twisted his head to look toward Kida, "last time I checked, girls don't have  _these_." With that, the informant pulled out and turned around to face Kida. Before Kida could react, Izaya grabbed his young staff and pulled him under. Forcefully opening Kida's mouth with his fingers, Izaya pushed his cock into Kida's mouth.

"Unnn…" Izaya leaned back and sighed contently as he felt Kida's wet, hot tongue on him. When Izaya's grip on his head loosened, Kida immediately pulled out.

"What the hell Izaya-san! What if I bit you?" Kida started to wipe his mouth with his sleeve. He looked over to see Izaya's red eyes slightly glazed and his lips slit into amusement.

"I know you wouldn't Kida-kun. After all, if you don't do this properly each time, I can always call for my third staff who'd be more than happy to help me." Izaya's sadistic grin chilled Kida to the bones. He gulped as he looked at his boss, his boner fully erect, and waiting.

"I… I only agreed to apply your medicine, Izaya-san." Kida tried to reiterate, his shaking voice not able to hide his uneasiness.

"Yes, Kida-kun. I am quite disappointed that you stopped there." Izaya spread his legs further and Kida felt nauseated at the sight. It was wrong. It was sick. It was everything disgusting and disturbing.

'Calm down Kida. You can do this.' Kida took a deep breath as he tried to calm his nerves and applied more cream to his trembling finger. 'He's just trying to shake you. Don't let him get to you.' Kida repeatedly told himself as he tried to only look at Izaya's entrance, trying his best to ignore the hardened cock that seemed to throb for attention.

Izaya moaned freely now as Kida's finger entered him once again. Kida tried to avoid the prostate but that was impossible. Kid wanted to call it quits but his fingers can feel the light stitches against the walls and he knew that he still had to dip in further. He wondered if Izaya would know he's lying if he told Izaya that he covered all the spots. Not taking chances, Kida's finger slipped in even deeper.

Izaya gasped and arched, then he purred as he squeezed down on Kida's finger. Again, Kida was confused between feeling sick and disgusted, and feeling power over the one man he had never exerted control over in his life. To feel like the one controlling the strings to the puppet instead of being the puppet was a thrilling experience. Even more so since the puppet he was controlling was once his puppeteer and revenge tasted sweet.

"Kida-kun… if you keep playing with me like that, I'm going to have to ask you to take full responsibility." Izaya purred some more.

"Oh? You mean… this?" Kida ran his finger down Izaya's shaft and watched him tremble.

"You don't need me to tell you what I want do you? After all, I can always ask someone else to finish the job if you don't take responsibility of your action." Izaya coyly smirked.

Kida felt grim, knowing full well exactly what Izaya was referring to. Kida took a deep breath. As long as it was his choice and he wasn't being forced to do it…

The young blond with a face far too serious for his age, opened his mouth and swallowed the hard cock in front of him.

Immediately Kida's mouth was filled with the taste of a man's cock. He's never done this before, and hell he's never gone this far with anyone before. In fact, he's never  _received_  a blow job either though he had a general idea what he was suppose to do.

Kida's wrapped his tongue around the cock as he sucked on the firm meat that throbbed warmly. He couldn't get used to the taste since it disgusted him and the feel was weird but he ignored it and continued to suck and bob his head up and down as the blond heard Izaya moan and his cock tighten inside his mouth.

What Kida did enjoy doing, was making Izaya beg for more as he was under his mercy for this brief few minutes. His tongue glided down the shaft and sucked as he pulled up. Kida's finger still continued to probe inside Izaya, remembering that that's what he wanted. His finger found the prostate once again and rubbed him gently, trying to get this over with quicker.

Izaya was indeed at his mercy as he trembled, his legs wrapping around Kida and pulling him a bit closer. His breath got rougher and his grip on the blonde's hair tightened as his body flushed in pleasure. Kida was doing a pretty good job for an armature's first time, since the young man instinctively knew how to please someone. While Izaya held onto Kida's head and forced the young boy to eat him, the blond kept the raven haired man at his mercy and whim as his tongue and finger continued to keep him on the edge. It was impossible to tell who was winning the powertrip contest.

After several licking, sucking and thrusting, Izaya shuddered violently and forcefully pressed down Kida's head as he came, blinding lights consuming him. Kida on the other hand felt the throbbing cock stand rigid before it flooded him with salty cum. He was forced to swallow some else he'd choke on them since his boss had firmly held him in place.

Izaya finally let him go after his orgasm consumed him, and Kida ran off to the bathroom, coughing as he shouted, "Fucking bloody hell ugh!"

Izaya winced as he heard Kida puking in the bathroom toilet. "That sound is soooo not sexy Kida-kun, especially after what we just did."

"Ugh! That tasted so nasty! Oh, ew, ugh, nugh!" Kida puked some more before he started to turn on the facet to get some water in his mouth.

"See if I ever invite Kanra-chan to our chatroom's next hotpot party!" Kida shouted as he gurgled water and spat it out.

"Now, that's just plain mean, Bakyura-kun. Besides, you weren't planning to invite me anyway." Izaya pouted.

In the living room, Namie muttered to herself repeatedly, "I'm not hearing anything, I'm not hearing anything, I'm not hearing anything, I'm not-"

**-END OF SIDE STORY-**

 

* * *

 

Setton-san joins the chat room  
Tanaka Taro-san joins the chat room  
Bakyura-san joins the chat room

Setton: Good evening.

Tanaka Taro: Evening.

Baykura: Ugh hey guys. I'm so exhausted~ （_）ノ

Setton: Oh? Hard day at work?

Bakyura:  _Bad_  day is more like it.

Tanaka Taro: (O.o) What happened Bakyura-san?

Bakyura: That lazy ass Kanra-san made me do extra work. Dirty work at that!

Setton: D… dirty work?

Tanaka Taro: (0.0);;

Saika-san joins the chat room.

Saika: Good evening…

Setton: Ah, good evening.

Tanaka Taro: Good evening Saika-san.

Bakyura: Hello~ Saika-chan~ Perfect timing. I was just talking about my bad day at work.

Saika: Something bad happened?

Bakyura: The worst! Kanra-san dumped me dirty work!

Saika: D…. dirty work?

Kyo-san joins the chatroom.  
Mai-san joins the chatroom.

Kyo: Did someone say dirty work? Oh my, this sounds quite delicious, malicious and absolutely contagious! It's as if one climbed up the Mt. Everest's rock-hard, steep length to claim it as his own! Please do tell us in great detail exactly what kind of dirty work Kanra-chan made you do. It is relevant to my interest!

Mai: Do.

Kanra-san joins the chat room.

Kanra: Piikapii~ How is everyone this evening? Missed me? （＾＿－）

Kanra[Private mode]  
Ack! Not you two again, I told you two to not come back! Out, out, and NO Mairu, don't reply to me until you learn how to use the private mode!

Mai: Yes.

Kanra[Private mode]  
Doh! Ah well at least it looks like you answered my other question ugh….

Kyo[Private mode]  
LOL, nii-sama is so meeeean~~

Setton: Bakyura-san was complaining you gave him extra work.

Kanra: *gasp* Me? Never! (ノ゜∀゜)ノ

Bakyura: Uh-huh. Right. You made me clean your toilet. (╬ ゜∀゜)

Kanra: Well, it was covered in  _your_  puke mind you. Tsk, tsk. You should always tell the full story. ( ゜3゜)

Bakyura: Need I remind you that it was  _your_  fault I puked in the first place?( ╬ ╬ -_-)

Kanra [Private mode]  
You can always go ahead and tell them why you puked if you wish. I wonder what  _he_  will think when I tell him what happened today. *smirk*

Bakyura[Private mode]  
Y… you wouldn't dare!

Saika: …

Tanaka Taro: Erm… I don't know what's going on but you two should settle this outside the chat perhaps? It sounds serious.

Setton: Kanra-san, please don't get us involved in your mess. And don't dump your work on others, it's not nice.

Kyo: It is under my impression that Kanra-chan's been abusive, intrusive and utterly exclusive to her target which at this moment is Bakyura-san and I find it relevant to my interest to know precisely what, when, where, who, why, and how such an event came to being.

Mai: Relevant.

Kanra: What is this? Let's all gang-up on Kanra-chan night? ―(T_T)― Kanra-chan is sooooo saaaaaaaaaaaad. You all hate me don't you?

Kanra[Private mode]  
Especially you.

Bakyura[Private mode]  
Go die!

Kanra: Well hmph! Poo-poo on you guys! Kanra-chan is innocent this time. （｀ー´）ノ

Bakyura: which means you aren't at  _other times_.

Kanra: *Gasp* Bakyura-san, how could you! Betrayed by my own co-worker! I demand a jury trial! I have my witness that proves me innocent! Shall we continue this farce Bakyura-kun?

Bakyura: Oops, look at the time, I have to get up early tomorrow to meet my girlfriend, so I'll pass on your offer. Going to bed guys, night-night~

Kanra[Private mode]  
Can't wait to see you tomorrow for more  _fun times_  Bakyura-kuuun~

Bakyura[Private mode]  
Drop dead!

Bakyura-san left the chat room.

Kyo: Aww, he left without giving us the juicy part! Sigh…. I guess better luck next time. Good night everyone.

Mai: Night.

Kyo-san left the chat room.  
Mai-san left the chat room.

Setton: I guess I'll be turning in too.

Saika: Me too.

Tanaka Taro: Well then, good night everyone.

Kanra: Ah well, haters are gonna hate! Bye-bye-pii~~

Setton-san left the chat room.  
Saika-san left the chat room.  
Tanaka Taro-san left the chat room.  
Kanra-san left the chat room.

There is no one in the chat room at this time.


	11. Chapter 11

Three black cars with tinted windows drove up to a certain building in Shinjuku. Men in suits started to pour out, each one of them buff and tough looking. One of the bald one with the scar opened the door and a thin man in white suits walked out and looked around his surroundings. With a nod, all of them entered the building in unison.

Kida Masaomi just finished his 'report' as he came down the elevators and was greeted with the yakuza. When Shiki and Kida's eyes met, there was a certain acknowledgement.

"You are certain he's fully healed." Shiki asked to confirm. Kida nodded slowly, a wave of disgust washing over his face as he did so as he remembered.

"Good work kid," Shiki tossed him a roll of bills which Kida caught with the snap of his hand, his eyes too grim for a child of his age. Today, Izaya had finally said he did not need the cold cream treatment. Kida was glad that Shiki never asked 'how' he knew exactly that Izaya was fully healed.

As Kida walked away and Shiki and his men entered the elevator, blond turned and called out, "Please don't play rough with him this time. I'm the one who has to clean up the aftermath, you know."

Shiki smirked as the elevator doors closed on him. "I can't guarantee that… it wouldn't be us who'll be playing with him for this round."

Orihara Izaya was looking out his window when the Awakusu-kai arrived. He turned his head with his tea mug in his hand and smiled.

"I was expecting you, Shiki-san."

'Liar,' Shiki thought as he walked up to his desk.

"My, you sure know how to pick up someone with style~ You like making your guest feeling important huh? Or do you just like to show off? Ah, well either way, what can I do for you?" Izaya turned his body fully as his motor mouth ran off the highway.

"I came to protect my investment." Shiki calmly replied, his cigarette on his lips slowly burning away.

"Investment?" Izaya frowned in confusion as the men circled behind the informant.

"I insist you come with me, Orihara-kun." Shiki's thin smile unnerved Izaya and he glanced over at Namie, who seemed to be pretending to be very busy with her work.

"I guess I can't refuse. I was wondering why I wasn't scheduled for anything from 2pm onwards today." Izaya said out loud and noticed Namie slightly flinching. Izaya hid his smirk and gave an exaggerated sigh as he walked forward towards the door.

"By the way, Shiki-san, pray tell, how much did you give Kida-kun for the information?" Izaya asked as he started crossing his conference table.

"Why do you want to know?" Shiki didn't even bother asking how Izaya knew.

"I'm planning to take it out of his next paycheck." Izaya turned to smirk at Namie as he added, "perhaps I should also take it out of yours."

"And why would I sell out my own boss?" Namie smiled mockingly as she opened the door for Izaya to walk out.

"Have a safe trip." Namie waved and her sardonic smile irritated her employer as she closed the door on him.

* * *

A week passed since Shizuo visited Awakusu-kai's headquarters. Even though it was only a week, it was a long and torturous week for Heiwajima Shizuo. The young debt collector walked next to Tom like a ghost, not really there as he was drowning in guilt and shame. He felt guilty that he had hurt someone and he knew it was his fault and his choice to do so. And the worst part was his shame; he felt ashamed that he…. liked it.

The young debt collector grimly had to accept that he did enjoy it. No, he did not enjoy the hurting part, even if it was Izaya. Hurting the flea was still painful. But he realized that the sex part was an incredible experience. Shizuo never had a girlfriend. He had never loved anyone romantically either. He had a few crushes but he destroyed the seed before it bloomed. As a teen, he didn't think he deserved love, not until he learned how to control his monstrous powers. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt someone he loved.

'No wonder these people go crazy over love,' he thought to himself quietly. Though he was a debt collector for a dating website, he never truly understood how and why all these stupid people could fall so deeply into debt over such a superstitious love. 'If sex is this damn addicting, than love… haha… love must be one hellava ride.'

Sex. Ever since he saw that DVD, it consumed Shizuo's mind like an infection. It was not like he had never seen porn before. But that one was different, it was  _special_. It was like saying he met a lot of people before, but that one was different from all others. After he tasted his first intercourse, now he wanted it more than ever. There was no cure for this infection, and having sex with Izaya made him want more, rather than stop thinking about the DVD. The denial was physically painful at the same time mentally exhausting as guilt and shame plagued his mind night and day.

Lust. Shizuo was none too proud that what he felt toward the louse was lust. Shizuo of all people thought that he would never fall prey to lust, especially since he longed for love more than anyone. The young blond felt like a failure of a human. For once he could not stand his ground and preach about true love to these pathetic ground groveling men who were begging to be forgiven, begging for one more day of extension, and begging for one more day of their version of 'love.'

When Shizuo quietly watched these men beg on the ground, Tom was quite surprised to see that Shizuo did not exhibit any anger. After awhile, Tom had to step in and try to give these debtors a lecture, threatening them to pay up or else. Shizuo felt as if those words were said to him. Those words greatly shook his heart and it stabbed straight through him like no other blades have ever done so before.  
So each day went by like a torture. And that day too, after a long day at work, Shizuo came home, tired and exhausted even though he did not beat anyone up. He walked in his empty house, looked at his tiny and messy apartment and sighed. No one greeted him as usual, and he felt even lonelier than before.

As he took off his bowtie, he heard something. Something in his bedroom. Suddenly cautious and alert, he carefully opened the door to the adjoining room.

When Shizuo entered his bedroom, he saw something very startling. There was a young maid tied to his bed, struggling to get the bonds loose.

The ex-bartender quickly rushed to his bed and climbed up to see if he could cut the ties. "Mmmf! Mmmfff!" The maid with long black hair desperately tried to speak to him. Seeing the tape on her mouth, Shizuo quickly ripped it off of her.

"Ouch, Shizu-chan! Can't you be a bit  _less_  rough sometimes? That hurt!"

Shizuo blinked. "I… Izaya?"

Sure enough, it was Orihara Izaya, with a long black wig in a lacy French maid outfit, complete with a headset and… cat ears.

"Good gawd, you took fucking forever to get back home, I thought I was going to die!"

"Wait, what are you doing here? Why are you tied up… and why are you weari-"

"Not now Shizu! I'm about to die here, take out the fucking vibrator!" Izaya sounded so desperate, he didn't even bother -chaning Shizuo.

"A what?" Shizuo was trying his best to follow what Izaya was saying. Izaya was highly irritated which only made him fire away like a machine gun.

"The fucking vibrator! That damn Shiki  _drugged_  me,  _dressed_ me and then fucking _ **tied**_  me to your bed with a vibrator in my ass! I had to fucking  _wait_ for you to get it out of me! Now do it before I go insane!"

Izaya cringed, his body reflexively shivering as he tried to squeeze down on the vibrator that roared inside him.

"He did what?" Shizuo was still trying to grasp his situation. Just a minute ago, he was a doom-gloom Heiwajima Shizuo, blaming himself as he drowned in his own self-pity, guilt and shame. Shizuo wasn't prepared to come home to a very angry Izaya, tied to his bed, while wearing a very elaborate (and cute) French maid outfit complete with car ears. There was only so much Shizuo could take before his brain was overloaded.

"Can you… repeat that?" Shizuo asked, still very confused.

Izaya took a deep breath before he practically exploded, "THERE IS A FUCKING VIBRATOR INSIDE ME AND SHIKI-SAN TOOK THE REMOTE WITH HIM SO I CAN'T TURN IT OFF! NOW I'M TELLING YOUR PEA-SIZE BRAIN TO TAKE IT OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU OVERGROWN PRIMATE!"

Shizuo looked as if he finally comprehended his situation.

"So… Shiki did this?"

"Yes you dumb failure of a protozoan! Now get this fucking thing out!" For once in Izaya's life, he wished Shizuo wasn't so damn slow about these things. Shizuo however, winced. It wasn't that he was dumb that he couldn't figure out what was going on. It was just the shock that took him awhile to register the fact that Izaya was dressed in drags and was strangely tied to his bed. After a whole week of Shizuo torturing himself with the thought that he had hurt this little man, it was bewildering to see the said man tied to his bed and kicking and making a fuss so lively.

Shizuo nodded dumbly and lifted Izaya's frilly skirt, which turned out to be a bad idea.

Shizuo stared at the dark purple thong with pink laces and tiny red ribbons that barely covered Izaya's engorged flesh, along with a matching blackish-purple garter set that connected to his pure white lacy flower-print stockings that covered his pale legs. If Izaya tied to his bed in cute maid outfit could make Shizuo flabbergasted, Izaya in sexy lingerie practically left him thunderstruck. Put those two together, and Shizuo's mind turned to mush.

"What the fuck are you staring at? Hurry up!" Izaya huffed as he heaved his chest up and down, trying to contain the intensity of the vibrator.

"Uh… Izaya? Are you…. Errr…"

"What, spit it out!"

"Are you… wearing a matching bra with this?" Shizuo's face blushed.

Izaya could not contain his anger anymore. "You fucking degenerated homo sapien! You're worse than an evolved ameba! Will you quit messing around and fucking get with the reality here?"

"Oh. Err.. right." Shizuo proceeded to pull down the flimsy panties… though his efforts were obviously obstructed by the garter belt that was tied to the stockings.

"Uhh… how do you take this thing off?" Shizuo never had the chance to learn how to take off a bra in his life, and telling him to unhook the garter belt with his state of mind was asking a kindergartner to solve calculus.

"Just rip it off!" Izaya was getting very desperate.

"But… it's too pretty to rip it off." Shizuo frowned. It sounded wrong to rip such a frail and pretty thing that barely covered Izaya.

"WHO CARES?" Izaya was now exasperated. "Since when the hell were you ever gentle anyway?"

"It… still doesn't feel right."

"SHIZUO!" Izaya's voice was just a bit shrill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:  
> Missed Awakusu-kai and Shiki yet? I have OTL…. (since this fic is more shizaya, more people should be writing shikizaya for me ;_; ) I found out in book 4 that Shinra AND Akabayashi calls Shiki "Shiki no danna." I'm surprised no one corrected my terrible mistake. (If you guys knew and was just being nice, then thank you too ;_; )
> 
> Izaya still calls him "Shiki-san" and of course, Shiki calls Izaya "Orihara-san" as I've mentioned before, but ah well, too late to fix that one OTL
> 
> And Shiki is the ONLY person who has Shinra's apartment's spare key because he's the VIP. That's kinda cool information to know… no other yakuza or anyone else has it, not even izaya hur~


	12. Chapter 12

"I've been stuck here, tied to your bed with a vibrator up my ass for god knows HOW long and all you can think about is if I'm wearing a bra and you don't want to rip my underwear?"

"Okay, I got it." Shizuo tried to calm the informant as he pulled the panties back up, because he really didn't want to rip it. (Nor did he want Izaya to rip it by spreading his legs wider.) Once Izaya properly wore the thong panties again, he pushed away the thin string that barely covered up Izaya's entrance. The young debt collector was about to push in his finger but he hesitated.

"Wait, are you healed?" Shizuo sounded concerned. He almost forgot that he had hurt Izaya and seeing his posterior reminded him again of that certain day a week ago.

"Yes! I'm fine! Now will you get on with it?" Izaya groaned. He can feel his climax coming closer. He really would rather not come with a vibrator still inside him, overloading him with sensation.

"A… are you sure? Maybe we shouldn't stretch this area…" Shizuo still faltered. He really did not want to be at fault for hurting Izaya again.

"I said I'm FINE! I'm fine enough to have a fucking vibrator in my ass, got it? Now do it before it  _really_  starts to hurt!" Izaya was at his wits end. Shizuo grimaced like a nervous surgeon on his first operation as his two fingers entered, trying to slowly open up his patient.

"Nnngh,…" Izaya moaned lightly, feeling himself being stretched opened. Shizuo froze at the sound.

"Are… you sure it doesn't hurt?" Shizuo asked again.

"Yes, I am  _fine_ ~~. Quit asking me that." Izaya bit his lips in embarrassment. He didn't even realize he had moaned. At first he thought Shiki had given him drugs that made him fall unconscious so he can be dressed in this get up and tied to his enemy's bed. But seeing how his body suddenly flared up anew with desires, Izaya had a suspicion that he was given more than just sleeping drugs.

Shizuo inched closer, feeling Izaya's tight walls. Someone had coated him thickly with lubrications at least. The muscles were quivering gently from the vibrator as it clamped down on Shizuo's fingers as if sucking on him. It was hot inside him and the sensation travelled from Shizuo's fingers all the way down to his groin, reminding the blond how much he'd like to replace his fingers with something else.

Shizuo wasn't paying attention or he was too distracted by his desires when he felt the tip of the plastic vibrator with his nail. Unfortunately, because he didn't realize it was there, his fingertip pushed it in deeper. Shizuo's "Oops," was followed by a stream of curses from Izaya's end.

"… maybe I should go get a chopstick…" Shizuo tried to pull his fingers out.

"Shizuo! Don't you  _DARE_  pull out right now! Coward, just do it already! You're worse than a degenerated ameba!" Izaya gripped on the bed sheets as he tried to spread his legs to wrap around Shizuo's neck, trying to trap him from getting away. Shizuo winced at that, before at least Izaya had called him for being worse than an  _evolved_ ameba.

"You know all these insults are not necessary. I just don't want to hurt you," Shizuo said with a frown as he looked up. Izaya looked down at him (as best as he can within his circumstance of being tied to the bed) with his face flushed and his expression a minute away from orgasm. Shizuo stared at Izaya completely dumbfounded again. He didn't remember Izaya being… so… how does one describe that face? Seductive?

"Shizu-chan, if you don't fucking pull that fucker out, I'll make  _sure_  you're life is worse than living-hell!" Izaya gritted his teeth as he tried his best to deliver his threat, all the while his face was flushed, and his body was in arousal.

"You know… …. never mind." Shizuo was going to mention how mis-matched he looked from his words, but he realized that meant he'll have to explain how sultry Izaya looked right now, and that wasn't something Shizuo was going to admit to at this time. Not to mention he really didn't want to hear the streams of curses that would be followed afterwards. "Just… try to relax a bit." Shizuo lowered his head and went back to his work.

"Easier said then done," Izaya scoffed but he tried to loosen up a bit. Shizuo warily stretched Izaya even further, trying to get a hold of the vibrator that was shaking inside the informant. Izaya gasped as he held firmly onto the pillow behind him, his legs trembling and his body shuddering.

Shizuo recoiled a bit as he felt the stitch marks inside Izaya, reminding him once again of that hideous day. The marks were tiny and with the thick lubricated coating Shizuo could have missed it. As his fingers brushed against it, the young blond was a bit too scared to stretch Izaya any further.

"Maybe I should use a spoon…" Shizuo gulped.

Izaya could not believe what he was hearing. Since when was Shizuo this  _timid?_  "Shizu-chan! If you use chopsticks, spoons or god knows what utensils inside me, I'll shove it up your ass and see how YOU like it as well!" At this point, Izaya's mind was on the brink of insanity. His body was burning as the vibrator continued to wear him out, his penis was about to burst, and that dumb blond was being useless!

"…spread your legs a bit more," Shizuo really didn't like doing this but he held up one of Izaya's thin leg covered in thigh-high half-translucent stocking with his free hand, hooking him above his shoulder. Izaya took a deep breath and leaned back, spreading his legs wider. He held back his whimper as he felt Shizuo's fingers spread him apart inside him. Shizuo quickly grabbed onto the vibrator and his fingers jolted lively.

"Hnngh…unnn…." Izaya bit his lips as he groaned loudly without realizing. His entire body shook along with Shizuo's larger fingers and the vibrator that pulsated from his inside. "H… hurry…" Izaya squeezed down on his intruders as his fingers clung desperately onto the pillows.

Shizuo pulled out the vibrator in one motion, not too swiftly to hurt him, but not too slowly either. As the vibrator brushed past Izaya's prostate, the raven haired maid could not hold in his orgasm any longer as blinding white ecstasy hit him. With a throaty cry, he reflexively leaned forward, wrapping his thin legs around Shizuo's neck as orgasm hit him hard.

The knots pulled back Izaya down onto the soft bed after relieving himself. He laid there spent, as he gasped for breath. In between his heavy breathing, Izaya found the silence from Shizuo to be unsettling and odd. Still trying to recover from his intense climax, Izaya peeked up to see why Shizuo had remained quiet.

Izaya burst out laughing when he saw that the blond was covered in his cum. The white sticky goo dripped down from his hair, his brow, his cheek, his blue sunglasses, the tip of his nose, and down to his chin. To the ex-bartender's dismay, Izaya had unintentionally aimed and unloaded his seed onto Shizuo's face.

"I don't think it's very funny," Shizuo scowled as he tried to wipe off his bukake-ed face with a tissue from the stand next to the bed. Izaya crumpled to the side as he let out another wave of laughter. Shizuo turned the switch off of the cause of this mess and threw the now-still vibrator across the room with a huff.

"Serves you right," Izaya smirked. Shizuo quietly took off his sunglasses and put it on the counter next to the bed. Then he gave his best 'I want to crush your face' smile and sang in his sing-song voice, " _Iiiizaaayaaa-kuuuun~_ I do~ believe that I deserve some 'thank you-s' and an explanation as to  _why_  you're tied on my bed in this weird get-up."

Seeing Shizuo's face reminded Izaya of his predicament, especially the fact that he's tied up and can't really dodge his enemy's attack. It looked like the old, hateful Shizuo was back. Izaya laughed, masking his nervousness, "Thank you Shizu-chan, for ravishing me. I knew a brute like you would take a minute away from  _forever_  to do a simple task." Shizuo's veins started to throb on his temple.

"As for why I'm tied to your bed….Well Shizu-chan~ why don't you untie this for me and I'll tell you." Izaya gave him his best winsome smile. Shizuo didn't fall for it.

"Not happening. As soon as I untie you, you'll run off and I'll have to chase you down before I get my answer." Shizuo shook his head as he crossed his arms. He looked as if he was going to sit through this one all the way. Izaya tried again, "And, if I refuse to tell you unless you untie me?"

"Then I guess you'll be tied here until you do," Shizuo started to get off the bed.

"Wait!" Izaya shouted, unable to mask that hint of desperation. Shizuo sat back down and glared patiently. Izaya swore under his breath a bit as he processed some thoughts. He didn't like what he had to say.

"He…. He said I'm your interest," Izaya grumbled in a low voice. Shizuo frowned. "Repeat that? I didn't hear you."

"Shiki said you're his  _investment_  and I'm your interest he's adding on to insure security." Izaya gritted his teeth as he delivered the Yakuza's words before he was drugged to sleep.

"Huh? Stop spinning your non-sense words. You think it's funny to be smart-ass bu-" Shizuo was cut off as Izaya sighed in frustration as he was forced to 'lower' his 'vocabulary.' "How the fuck are you a debt collector if you don't even understand simple business terminology?"

Shizuo scowled, not really liking Izaya's tone. But before Shizuo could speak, Izaya went on, "The deal you made with him remember? I don't even know what kind of  _deal_ you made behind my back but-"

"Deal? But I said I'll think about it, I didn't agree on any de-"

"Whatever! I don't know! All I know is that I'm your  _security_  to insure that the deal falls through!" Izaya shouted in exasperation at Shizuo once again.

"Security?" Shizuo cocked his head to one side. It's not that he didn't understand business, but he couldn't relate with using humans in business language.

"I'm your interest! Present! Gift! Pet! Sex toy! Whatever you want to call it! You're to do whatever you want with me as you  _please~_ " Izaya spat at those words with distaste, "So that you make this damn  _deal_  with Shiki-san, got it, numskull? Or does Mr. Protozoan still don't understand simple vulgar terms such as 'sex slave'?"

Shizuo listened quietly, taking in each of Izaya's words. When he finally spoke up, he said, "You know, no matter what kind of cute clothes you wear, everything that comes out of your mouth is just garbage and trash. No wonder that guy likes to have you gagged all the time." Izaya glared dangerously.

"What do you know about me and Shiki-san? Just so you  _do_  get the facts straight, I'm not his pet. It was just an act." Izaya scoffed, his eyes relaying the message, 'you're obviously too dumb to figure that out unless I tell you directly.'

"Oh, I think I know a fair amount." Shizuo shrugged nonchalantly, not really falling for Izaya's taunt since he had the upper hand on information for once.

"What are you talking about?" Izaya looked up at him suspiciously.

Shizuo avoided the question. "So he's trying to bribe me with you again."

Izaya cackled at the sheer absurdity. "Pretty much! I told him several times it wouldn't work, but he just doesn't get it. He doesn't seem to understand that hate doesn't mean love." Izaya sighed. "Now that you know, will you untie me please? I highly doubt that I make the best bargaining chip like you've mentioned before."

Shizuo however seemed to think a bit some more. After awhile, Shizuo nodded in determination. "Alright. I'll take the deal."

"Wait, you what?" Izaya was pretty sure he heard it wrong.

''He said I can do whatever I please." Shizuo smirked, his grin slowly spreading.

"Thank you for stating the obvious Shizu-chan~ Perhaps I should give you a medal? I think you've actually evolved to an ape." Izaya mocked some more. He was getting snappier by the minute, not quite enjoying his tangled situation.

Shizuo scowled at Izaya's words briefly but he continued to smirk slowly. "Izaya-kuuuun~ I think you're missing something here." Shizuo started to crack his knuckles. "You are tied to MY bed and you're conveniently immobile. You can't run or hide from me. And I'm allowed to do _anything_  as I please. What's the first thing that comes to your mind?"

Shizuo slammed his fist against the wall on top of Izaya's head to emphasize the delivery of his points. Izaya's eyes widened in realization.

"Izaya-kun~ You might be the best bargaining chip after all, in maid outfit or not. Perhaps you should start calling me  _master_  and grovel a little before I smash your teeth in?" Shizuo leaned forward and grinned menacingly as he raised his fist again. This time, he aimed for Izaya's head.


	13. Chapter 13

Once the realization hit Izaya, he cursed to himself quietly. Once again Shizuo had acted beyond his expectations and that always aggravated him endlessly. Of course Izaya should have known that Shizuo hated him and would love to pound him to a pulp while tied up, how did he forget something so simple and basic? While at it, Izaya cursed Shiki some more for incepting him with the idea that Shizuo might even want him for sexual desires. Even when he found that idea to be ridiculous, it obviously worked if Izaya had forgotten the fundamentality of their relationship: the hatred that ran through the main pillar of their cursed union. Calling Shizuo 'Master' wasn't a big deal if it was on Izaya's terms, but doing so on Shizuo's terms hurt the informant's pride. And Izaya was a sore loser.

"Sh… Shizu-chan, surely you don't wish to be sent to prison for assault and kidnapping now would you?"

"You'll do it anyway even if I did let you go after this, louse. Might as well have some fun by beating you into a pulp," Shizuo grinned as he cracked his knuckles as he made his fist firmer. "I never did get to beat you as much as I wanted in high school, you slimy little eel! You always managed to escape just in time."

"Shizu-chan~ I thought you hated violence~ I'm sure it's a huge win on your side if you let me go~" That was a far-fetched lie as Izaya gave him his most charming smile, but he was running out of options and that damn Shiki tied him up too good to loosen the ropes.

"I think nothing could be a bigger win than beating your face up black and blue. I'm sure it'll make me feel _real_ good inside," Shizuo grinned menacingly.

"Tsk, tsk. You find pleasure in beating up a helpless maid tied to your bed while forcing the said maid to call you  _master?_  I always knew you were a lowlife but you give a new meaning to the word, 'perverted scum.'"

"Then you got better ideas of pleasuring me tonight, Ms. Drag Queen?"

Izaya rolled his pretty little crimson eyes and almost belched in disgust. "Please. I'd rather have you beat me half to death than force myself to have sex with you again. That was truly disgusting and humiliating." Izaya may not enjoy pain but he really didn't enjoy humiliation, which was worse. And he knew that deep inside, Shizuo always pulled back on the punches because he never wanted to kill anyone.

"Well then. Are you done talking, louse?"

Izaya gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, his hands clenching onto the ropes that bound him down. He wasn't going to enjoy this any more than he did last time.

Shizuo continued to aim his fist at Izaya until the moment Izaya closed his eyes. He stared down at his nemesis quietly, watching as Izaya breathed harshly, lips quivering, and nervously waiting for that pounding of his life time.

Wordlessly, Shizuo's eyes softened, his intimidating glare suddenly replaced, as his hand brushed Izaya's cheek and cupped him. Izaya flinched involuntarily, and clenched his teeth tighter, thinking that Shizuo was still aiming his fist at him.

But Izaya was taken by surprise once again as something soft connected his lips and his eyes flicked open. His view was obstructed by a mass of blonde hair as he realized that Shizuo was kissing him. What was even more surprising was how gentle that lips was.

"What are you insinuating-?" Izaya asked in between his kisses.

"You just said humiliating… was worse than being beaten, didn't you?" Shizuo pulled up and loomed over the little man.

Izaya looked up at Shizuo in disbelief. Since when did this man have brains?

Only a week had passed since the last time two of them met at Shiki's office. In that week, half of the time, Izaya spent it sleeping and the other half the time recuperating and nursing his wound. Other than that, he spent the rest of the time getting back to his routine and his daily work. Not much changed for him, even if he was forcefully raped, it still wasn't a big deal for someone like Orihara Izaya. He went through all sorts of stressful situations, and that day was just another 'bad day' for him. He woke up, thought of some revengeful plans for the both parties, and moved on with his life.

But for Heiwajima Shizuo, that week was more than a week. And few days before he met with Shiki and Izaya, he was tortured with sexual desires, no thanks to the DVD. Then he was tortured with shame and guilt as well as his insatiable desires of his most hated enemy. It was a draining experience. Though only a week passed for both of them, for Shizuo it was enough to cause a change in his heart; a tiny dent to his heart that was once filled with hatred for this man who caused nothing but misery. That misery was now a different type of heartache that sent shivers down the debt collector's spine.

Shizuo leaned down again to nip at Izaya's neck. His teeth lightly grazed the pale neck right before he gently sucked on him, leaving behind a pink mark and a trail of saliva. Izaya hissed as he sharply took an intake of breath, his body already reacting to the sensual chemical that coursed through his body.

"S…Shizu-chan! S-stop!" Izaya's voice stuttered as his body readily flushed with Shizuo's touches. Whether he wanted it or not, his body moved to its own accord, leaning in to Shizuo's fingertips that ran up and down the leggings. His breath hitched when Shizuo's hand slowly crept up to his inner thigh but not exactly going any further. Shizuo's hands lingered on the edge of the thigh-high, playing with the lacy trim as his mouth assaulted Izaya's sensitive neckline.

Izaya's entire body burned with desires as Shizuo's hands continued to stroke his inner thigh and that supple tongue licked his jaw line. Shizuo's heavy breath tickled his ear and heightened Izaya's senses, such a slow seduction was not what he had expected from a man of raw power like Shizuo.

"Shizu-chan! You fucking brute! S… stop it now! Did your protozoan brain forget… nngh… that you hate my… my guts?" Izaya's insults were losing its edge as he was assaulted with every single sensitive spot he had without actually being touched directly on his genitals.

"And it seems you forgot that I'm doing this to humiliate you, you fucking flea," Shizuo's husky voice whispered into Izaya's ear as he nipped and sucked on the ear tip. Izaya moaned as he cursed under his breath. It was as if Shizuo already  _knew_  what he liked, and  _knew_  all his favorite spots.

"Dammit, Shizu-chan! I can't believe you! I bet you're fucking me because you can't get laid with a real girl! Ha! I bet you're just imagining you're fucking a girl instead of me, aren't you!" Izaya continued to run his mouth off. He knew making Shizuo angry was like an express ticket to a painful death but he wanted anything but  _this_.

Shizuo paused. Izaya was already panting harshly but his heart beat even faster when he finally thought his insults worked. Izaya watched every single movement Shizuo made as he loomed over him. He flinched once again, thinking Shizuo will crush his throat when his hand reached out towards him. But instead of wrapping his strong hand around that thin neck, Shizuo grabbed the wig and yanked it off.

Izaya blinked in surprise. Will this brute ever do something that Izaya can predict?

In fact, Izaya was practically flabbergasted when Shizuo inspected the wig, took off the maid headband that came off with it, and put it back on Izaya's head. Izaya's jaw dropped even more when Shizuo stared down at him as if he's not satisfied, took the cat ears that dangled from the wig and put that too on Izaya's head.

Then Shizuo chucked the wig across the room and smirked down at Izaya.

"There. Now there's no mistaking that I'm fucking you, louse."

For once, it was Izaya's turn to be dumbstruck.

Wait… so did that mean, Shizuo wanted to fuck him? The idea was too disturbing and inconceivable for Orihara Izaya.

"Now then… where should I start to undress you…" Shizuo smirked as he looked down at Izaya from head to toe, undressing him with his eyes alone. Izaya felt totally naked in front of this man even though he was fully clothed. He shivered as if he really was nude and the cool air caressed his body.

Shizuo pulled up one of Izaya's thin leg, hoisting it on his shoulder as he admired his tiny ankle and the black mary jane platform shoes with matching white laces. He never did get to play with undressing a girl before, so he found this experience amusing. Izaya hissed when Shizuo leaned forward and kissed his ankle gently with his lips, lightly licking on top of the translucent stockings.

"P… pervert," Izaya was reduced to basic form of insults now, his mind trying to grasp this overturned situation. Shizuo smirked as he fumbled with one of the shoe's tiny buckle around the ankle. It was his one chance to learn how to take one of these shoes off, so he took his slow time learning how. Just learning how to take one was enough; Shizuo left the other one alone.

"Call me what you want, flea. But I'm not letting you go," Shizuo long fingers were acting unthinkable acts as they traced the stockings on his other leg again, down to the thigh where the garter belt hooked the stockings. Rush of fire burned through Izaya as the fingers mapped out his leg line, then lingered on his thigh, leisurely figuring out how to unhook the garter belt from the stockings. Izaya continued to curse under his breath as he bit back his moan each time those fingers brushed him. One, then two, the garter belt on the opposite side of his leg came off as Shizuo's large fingers finally pushed away the nubs. Now both legs were a mismatch as one leg was missing a shoe, and the other had the stockings unhooked.

"Sh… shit! Shizu-chan, I… I'm _so_  going to make you regret this," Izaya threatened as his breath hitched again from feeling that large hand finally caress his bare thighs, pushing down the stockings to his knee level. Each touch lit fires in his body and Izaya cursed his poisoned blood that made him yearn for more. "Just you wait until I'm free, I'll make sure your life is living hell for years to come! I'll make you rot in a stink hole and your begging will be my nectar I drink!"

"Shut up trash, or I'll gag you," Shizuo threatened back, and Izaya clamped up. He  _hated_  having no voice. Izaya glared back at Shizuo silently sending him steel daggers. Shizuo nodded in satisfaction, ignoring his death glares.

Shizuo pulled up the skirt again, this time appreciating the view rather than stunned shocked. When his head leaned down, Izaya froze, scared stiff at the concept of Shizuo licking him. But once again the brute toppled his expectations when the blond bit down on the side-string of the thong and pulled at it, slowly tugging at the panties up the legs teasingly.

Once he hooked the panties around the knees, Shizuo dipped his head under and between his legs. Izaya clenched his teeth and growled, "I hope you're enjoying yourself, pervert,"

Shizo just gave him a smirk that frustrated the hell out of Izaya, since for once the tables have been turned and Shizuo was in control of the situation. He leaned down and licked the engorged flesh tentatively. Izaya shivered, his toes curled and his legs wrapped around Shizuo's neck. His senses were so heightened by now he almost climaxed at the slight contact. The wave of pleasure washed away the feeling of disgust as Izaya felt that warm tongue lick his throbbing cock.

"Nnngh…!" Izaya moaned, clenching his teeth as his hands grasped tightly onto the ropes that bound him down. His legs trembled each time he felt that soft and warm tongue lick his cock. It wasn't anything special, no technique or anything but Izaya's body was so much on fire, even a shy lick was enough to send him near his edge.

"Oh…. god…" Izaya moaned, hating himself all the more as Shizuo's mouth took a hold of his shaft and sucked on the middle. His entire body needed more, and such a slow seduction was driving him crazy. One would think that someone like Shizuo would pound him senseless but since it was his first time (technically, if one didn't count that other time last week), he wasn't certain as to what he should do, though he knew exactly what Izaya did like. Like a puppy playing with his ball for the first time, Shizuo experimented, licking and sucking at certain areas to see Izaya's reaction.

"F… fuck you Shizu-chan! Will you stop toying with me already and just get it over with?" Izaya gave up pretending he didn't need it now that his entire body was about to explode with lust. His growing need was painful even as his pride was crushed by the heated desires.

"Is that how you ask for favors? Your mouth is still trash flea," Shizuo shrugged as he pulled away from Izaya's swollen cock and went back to licking his inner thighs. Izaya shivered, the lack of contact between his hardened manhood and that soft lips and warm tongue was unbearable.

"Shi…Shizu-chan… p-please…" Izaya started to mew quietly, his voice and body a jitter.

"You got to do better than that, flea." Shizuo was merciless as he loomed over the Izaya who was a crumpled mess, with his legs up high in the air, his skirts and poufy white petticoats flipped up.

"What the hell do you want then?" Izaya hissed, back to his usual self when he didn't get what he wanted even after he broke his pride and pleaded with a 'please.'

"You still didn't call me  _master_ ," Shizuo smirked as he lightly sucked on his pale thigh. Izaya's breath hitched.

"I hate you so much, Shizu-chan," Izaya half growled and half moaned, cursing at Shizuo for keeping him aroused yet not actually giving him what he wanted the most. The fact that Shizuo had put him into this state of need made Izaya sick, hating how much this blond had control over everything right now.

"Suit yourself flea. I don't need your dirty hole anyway," Shizuo pulled Izaya's legs together and hoisted them up on one shoulder as he unzipped his pants.

"Wh… what are you…?" Izaya looked up, unsure of what Shizuo was planning to do.

Shizuo took out his semi-hardened cock and stroked it a bit slowly with his hand. Just looking at it made Izaya's own cock ooze at the tip with pre-cum.

The debt collector then wrapped both of Izaya's legs with one arm as he adjusted and pushed himself in between his creamy thighs. Izaya gasped as he felt the cock slide between his sensitive thighs, sending him tremors of pleasure but his own cock started to weep unsatisfied.


	14. Chapter 14

"Shi… Shizu-chan! That's not fair!" Izaya moaned as he felt that hard cock move in and out between his thighs. Just feeling the sensation alone tormented his prostate, his entire lower body quivering with need. He  _badly_  needed something to be rammed into his ass. Izaya looked up to watch as the tip appeared and disappeared between his thighs. He really wished that it was his anus that was being pounded with Shizuo's cock instead of having that meat thrust between his thighs. It was a torture to watch.

"Oh, yeah? Well I thought you didn't want me anyway," Shizuo continued, Izaya's soft thighs giving in readily to each thrust. Izaya's cock quivered, crying pre-cum as it desperately begged for attention.

"Nngh…! D… dammit… Shi… Shizu-chan!" Izaya closed his eyes helpless, conflicted still between his pride and desire as well as his hatred for this man. His nails bit into the bonds that kept him down as he took the thrusts. Shizuo's breath grew heavy with every plunge, and tears were forming on the corners of Izaya's eyes as he was forced to swallow his defeat.

'God I hate you Shizu-chan. So… so much… god the things I would do to you! If only I can just fucking kill you….!' Izaya thought in his head as he bit his lips. His anus and cock pleaded him to just give up and beg. "Fuck this…" Izaya gritted his teeth before he opened his eyes one more time to stare at the blonde that was cruelly teasing him.

"M… master… please…" Izaya started to call out, his voice meek and his face flushed with arousal.

"I can't hear you," Shizuo said nonchalantly as he could be while still thrusting into Izaya's legs.

"M… master! Please!" Izaya shouted a bit louder, his eyes closed shut in humiliation.

"Please… what?" Shizuo smirked as he continued to thrust.

"Please fuck me with your… nngh… cock… I-Izaya… really wants it," Izaya wanted to die right now. Being pummeled to death with a fist sounded like a better choice.

"You forgot to add something to that line," Shizuo breathed roughly as he still grinned down at the blushing face.

"Ma-master," Izaya added, grinding his teeth in frustration.

Shizuo shook his head. "Not good enough, flea," and with that he started to thrust harder, quite enjoying the feel of Izaya's supple thighs that yielded to him. Izaya tried to thrash about in frustration but Shizuo's grip was strong and held him in place.

"Fuck! Shizu-chan! What more do you want from me?" Izaya was practically in tears as his entire body cried for release.

"See, you've reverted back to normal. You… suck at… nngh…!" Shizuo stiffened as he climaxed, coming all over Izaya's weeping cock and his dress.

"Ah… now I'm spent," Shizuo said as his grip on Izaya's legs loosened and pulled out, leaving behind a long trail of white cum that dripped down the informant's thighs.

"Guess you wouldn't be getting any after all," Shizuo shrugged, hiding a smirk as he leaned back to grab his cigarette.

"WHAT? Wait! Shizu-chan you wouldn't dare leaving me hanging!" Izaya shrieked desperately. His entire body was still a quivering mess.

Shizuo smirked as he put one hand to Izaya's side and loomed on top of him. "You forgot something, louse."

"…." Izaya stared up at his most hated enemy as he forced himself to say the words he despised.

"… master. Please fuck me, I beg of you?" a tear rolled down his cheek as his mind was consumed with hatred and frustration. The passion was too much to contain within his small body without a place to let-out. The pent-up pressure was only able to escape his body in the form of a tear.

"Does the little kitty want something from his master?" Shizuo teased as he nipped on the plastic ear. Izaya almost pouted to play along. Almost, if it weren't for the fact that Izaya hated Shizuo's guts.

"Keep calling me master and I might give it to you," Shizuo leaned down and licked away the tear. It was salty and tangy. Izaya shivered at the contact, almost wishing that tongue would be licking him down there rather than his face.

"Please master…I… I really need you… master… to suck me right now," Izaya kept his eyes closed, hoping that by not seeing him, he can at least pretend it's not Shizuo he's dealing with.

"Suck on you… where?" Shizuo playfully sucked on his earlobe instead, making Izaya jolt and gasp with pleasure. His mind was barely able to contain so much sensation.

"Please, my… cock, master," Izaya's voice trembled at the word choice he was forced to say.

"I thought maids don't have a cock, especially a kitty cat," Shizuo teased him with a lick on his ear, purposefully not calling him a 'pussycat.'

"Well, this maid  _does_ ," Izaya huffed indignantly and Shizuo chuckled.

"You'll have to earn the right, Izaya-kuuun," Shizuo's sing-song voice was accompanied by the welcoming grip on Izaya's swollen meat, causing the informant to arch at the touch. Slowly the hand ran up and down the shaft and Izaya mewed, his body grateful for the touch.

But all too soon, the hand on Izaya's shaft left him.

"What the fuck Shizu-ch…!" Izaya burst into anger, extremely displeased with all this teasing.

"I  _do_  believe I have another name, Izaya-kun~" Shizuo cut him off, with a big grin on his face.

"… master," Izaya whispered miserably, not happy to note that Shizuo had gained another nick name from him.

Shizuo beamed him a smile as his hands slowly unbuttoned Izaya's top. He tried to loosen the laces on the black bodice around the informant's rib area but he found the whole crisscross lace a bit confusing. But one pull of the thread loosened the top bow and he started to pull at it with his teeth as well as his fingers, tangling them even more.

Izaya wanted to say something about his cock really needing some attention but stayed quiet, mostly because as the laces were being loosened, he was able to breathe a bit easier. Izaya took a large gasp of breath when Shizuo loosened the bodice enough for him to breathe properly.

"Hmm… that'll do for now," Shizuo decided, realizing that it's impossible to completely take the bodice off without taking a long time. He pushed away the top white shirt and smiled like a kid opening his Christmas present.

"Ah, so you  _are_  wearing a matching bra!" Shizuo exclaimed, content that he guessed it right. Shizuo's finger traced the purple laces of the black bra with tiny pink and red ribbons that covered the nipples. Izaya rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Is that all you care about Shizu-ch… I mean, master? Seriously, don't you want to…  _ravish me_ …" Izaya deliberately avoided the word rape. "… rather than playing with my undergarments?"

"Not really. I think I had my fill and I find your undergarments more interesting," Shizuo shrugged, knowing full well that it would aggravate Izaya even more.

Izaya glared up at him, unable to sheath his rage, "Dear….  _master_ , I really think you should uphold your end of the bargain. I  _am_  calling you master right now, aren't I?"

"Sure, but you aren't treating me like a mas…ter…" Shizuo was about to tease him some more when he noticed something between Izaya's bra, notably on the center of his chest.

It was a burn mark. It was healing but the mark of possession was still there. Shizuo frowned; his playful mood instantly vanished and replaced with an ugly black muck of jealousy as his mind replayed the scene where Shiki held Izaya and marked him with his cigarette.

"Master?" Izaya looked up, a bit confused at a sudden serious countenance that replaced Shizuo's face. He was tempted to call him Shizu-chan, but he wasn't sure if he was still forced to play this farce.

Wordlessly, Shizuo grabbed onto both sides of Izaya's ribs and leaned down to bite him. Izaya let out a throaty cry at the sudden tackle as he tried to close his legs and push him away.

"Sh… Shizu-chan! Th… that hurts!" Izaya cried out as Shizuo continued to bite down on the center of his chest, not hard enough to rip the skin but enough to leave a mark. Then he sucked on it harshly, breaking the blood vessels underneath.

"Shi…. Aaah..! Shizu….chan…. nnngh!" Izaya thrashed about powerlessly, as Shizuo continued to assault his chest near his heart. Shizuo gripped on Izaya possessively, his hands now roaming upwards cupping the informant's flat breasts and squeezing the nipples with his fingers. Izaya moaned loudly, unable to contain his whimper.

When Shizuo finally lifted his face, his eyes were a bit dazed and so were Izaya's. He looked down at Izaya's chest, trying to decipher if the mark he had left had covered the black spot. It was bruised now, with red lip-shape-ish mark around the area.

"What the fuck Shizu-ch…" Izaya gave up and started to yell at him but he was quickly cut off as Shizuo's lips desperately sought his. Izaya was filled with the overwhelming scent of bitter cigarettes as Shizuo's mouth invaded him. Izaya was confused though his body welcomed it. He opened up his mouth as Shizuo's tongue consumed him, eating and sucking on him frantically.

Shizuo pulled out again, now both were breathless as the blond continued to bite and suck on his necklines.

"W-wait! Shi… nngh…. Shizu-chan! Wait, what's wrong…. annn…. with you…?" Izaya didn't understand the savage change in Shizuo.

"I thought you wanted this," Shizuo murmured as he squeezed on Izaya's pert nipples, making Izaya yelp.

"The fuck Shizuo! Stop changing the subject on …. Aaah…! … m… mee…" Izaya moaned as Shizuo's mouth sucked on his collar bone next, one of the spots that made Izaya hyper sensitive.

"You know, you keep saying you love all humanity, but you always say you hate me." Shizuo's voice was low as he kept his head down, his eyes avoiding Izaya's gaze.

"That's… because you're not human. You're just a monster," Izaya rolled his eyes and scoffed the best he could in his situation. Shizuo paused at those words, his fingers slowly letting go of Izaya's abused nipples and his mouth gradually unattaching itself from the battle-scared neck riddled with pink love bites.

"If I'm a monster, that means I'm not human, just like a god, isn't it? You keep saying how much you want to be a god…" Shizuo frowned a bit as he tried to form his thoughts into words. He then looked straight into Izaya's eyes, demanding an answer. "But doesn't that mean, I'm closer to being an immortal than you?"

Izaya's eyes widened in disbelief as he stared into Shizuo's serious eyes. This man. Izaya was once again questioning to the cosmos, _'since when did this man use his brains?'_


	15. Chapter 15

Orihara Izaya did not believe he was human.

As a young child, Orihara Izaya knew he was different from others. True, everyone had a little monster inside them; a small monster with sharp teeth, big red scary eyes and long fangs to grab and eat little children. It was a monster that everyone tried to contain within, a monster they all tried to hide, and a monster that all denied its existence.

But Orihara Izaya was different. He allowed his monster to consume his humanity. He offered his soul as his sacrifice and became a monster himself.

Orihara Izaya grew up from a normal family. He didn't have any trauma in his life or anything significant that would cause him to sell his soul to the devil. If anything, Orihara Izaya was a precocious child with abundance of curiosity. It was just that one day he decided to be a god among humans. Even as a kid he played with the idea and more and more he grew to realize his idea into fruitation in his daily life.

Orihara Izaya was a genius. Everything came to him easily. He understood complicated formulas. Textbooks were no different from children's picture books. Orihara Izaya wasn't just an IQ genius, he was even more talented in E.Q. area. He understood people as if he was reading an open book. He adapted to his surroundings like a chameleon. Orihara Izaya was also pretty athletic and if he put his mind to it, he was able to accomplish almost anything.

But there was one thing Orihara Izaya lacked. When the monster took his humanity, he couldn't walk with the humans anymore. He walked alone. He was forever alone. He would smile and go along with the humans but deep inside he knew, he was alone. As he sat next to these group of boys sneakily reading porn together, he didn't feel as if he was part of them. When he sat with his classmates and talked about how the school sucked and how they wish they didn't have any homework or tests tomorrow, he didn't fit in with them. It was as if he was walking along with humans as if he was a demi-god, watching life drift by him but not following the streams. He wasn't part of this pool of fish that swam in the stream of life. 'Izaya', the name itself a deviation from the name Isaiah. It was a fitting name since he walked a different path from everyone. If the name could be even more fitting, Izaya wished his name derived from Jesus Christ Himself, for Izaya didn't walk the path of some prophet, but walked the path of a god.

On a fateful day of Raijin's opening ceremony, the teen aged Orihara Izaya met another monster just like him. He knew the moment their eyes met, that he too was a monster, an abnormality of this world. Though Orihara Izaya was cunning enough to hide his identity with a human mask, this boy crushed it in an instance, seeing through his disguise as soon as they met face to face. Unlike Orihara Izaya, this monster did not know how to hide his oddity. In fact, this boy did not know of the word 'restraint' at all. He crushed everything in his path and by doing so he alienated everyone, including the ones he loved. Even when his loved ones wanted to be next to him, this boy shunned it, afraid he'll hurt them. So he too was alone forever.

Orihara Izaya understood that loneliness. Orihara Izaya understood that pain. He thought he was the only monster in this world that swam alone in the darkness, but when he finally met Heiwajima Shizuo, he finally found someone who he can walk with. Who could stand by his side as an equal. Orihara Izaya was filled to the brim with overflowing ecstasy to know that he was not alone in this vast once-lonely world.

Orihara Izaya fell in love.

But monsters don't love the way humans love. And when Heiwajima Shizuo immediately told him flat out that he didn't like him, it was okay with Orihara Izaya. He didn't have to have his love. As long as they walked, ran, laughed, cried, teased, played, chased, celebrated, yelled, desired, feared, and longed together, it was fine. As long as they were together, any kind of bond was fine.

Orihara Izaya was fine with hatred. 'As long as I'm not alone,' he thought. Izaya would make this man hate him forever, and chase him forever. Izaya decided that he'll leave such a deep scar on this other monster, that he'll never forget him, ever, in his life.  
 _  
So please chase me. Please chase me down forever. Chase me down and tear down my mask. Rip me apart and sink your poisonous fang deep into my flesh. Only when you chase me, I feel the jubilation of life soaring through me, freeing me from the mundane world that flutters by me like black and white Polaroid. Only when you chase me my blood runs with excitement, and I truly feel alive._

_Only when I am chased and when I know someone is behind me, I know that I'm not alone._

_Shizu-chan._

_Shizu-chan…_

_Shizu-chan…_

_Look at me, and only me. I want to fill you completely with myself so you'll have no room for anyone else but_ _**me.** _

 

* * *

 

"J-just because you are a monster doesn't make you an immortal!" Izaya growled. After all, even if he himself thought he wasn't human, he was still seeking his ticket for immortality. He wanted to become a god, not remain a monster.

"But you're admitting that I'm not human, therefore… I'm your equal, since you don't believe you're human either," Shizuo connected the two thoughts together and Izaya's eyes widened. This man… finally understood the concept he had once tried to tell him long, long time ago.

"You're  _not_  my equal! And you're in no way in hell, a god. Just a fucking monster!" Izaya shouted in contempt.

"So you're a god that stands above all others, and looking down at us, humans and monsters alike huh? What makes you a god?" Shizuo loomed over him, his eyes slanting as he gritted his teeth, holding his anger back. "By provoking me, and by trying to control my actions, you think you can be a god? You were always like that even in high school. Back then you told me you wanted to be my  _god_ , and don't you think I haven't forgotten, Izaya!"

Izaya only shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about. Though who'd want to be a god of monsters like you?" Izaya looked to the side, trying to avoid Shizuo's gaze.

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "Don't give me that shit. On the last day of school, you fucking called me out to the rooftop, saying it was your last request. I took it because it was the first time you've ever challenged me directly, you slippery sneak. Don't you dare say you forgot!"

* * *

_"Ah… Shizu-chan," the young boy with raven haired smiled charmingly as the blond high school student with his blue blazer opened the door to the rooftop and came outside to the sky. "You came."_

_"What the fuck do you want louse. If you actually want a fight fair and square, I'd gladly punch your lights out. So bring it," the young Shizuo growled at his enemy as he held up the little 'love letter.'_

_Izaya giggled. "Not quite. It is our last day at this school, I'm quite sure, since I'm not planning to come to the graduation ceremony. Ceremonies are boring aren't they? We all have to sit and listen to these_ great _people talk on and on about how great they are and how great a future we have and we have to just sit there and smile and nod our heads as if-"_

_"Get to the point louse!"_

_"Ah~ Shizu-chan, you never were a patient audience." Izaya sighed as he looked downwards and side-ways as if with deep regret._

_"And you love the sound of your voice too much, it grates my ears," Shizuo grumbled as he crumpled the letter Izaya had so lovingly hand-written. Izaya pouted. That was one of the few letters he's ever written in his life. Many of his_ disciples _would have loved to have received a letter from him. Such an ungrateful brute._

 

* * *

 

"That day… you…. you wanted my button," Shizuo frowned, clutching at his shirt, though it wasn't his high school blazer anymore as he remembered.

* * *

" _My… button?" Shizuo clutched his blazer's top button protectively._

_"Yes. I want it. Since I can't ask on the graduation ceremony, I'm asking for it now," Izaya held out his hand expectantly._

_Shizuo stared at him bewildered. Why did his mortal enemy want his button? Or so at least he thought Izaya hated him._

_"Why do you want it?" Shizuo asked hesitantly._

_"That's not of your concern," Izaya's remained outstretched, expectantly._

_"Yeah it is, fucking louse! It's my button and I don't fucking see why I should give it to you," Shizuo yelled irately now, though it was mixed with slight desperation to hide his real cause of his anger._

_"Tsk, tsk, Shizu-chan. Language~ You really do have a potty mouth,"_

_"Yeah? Well your mouth is worse than a dumpster truck."_

_Izaya didn't seem to be much affected by Shizuo's insult. Rather, he asked a very shrewd question._

_"I don't think it's that you don't want to give it to me because you hate me, rather it seems you have someone in mind you wish to give it to. Am I right, Shizu-chan?"_

_Shizuo fell silent as he looked thoughtful, still clutching at his button. It was true. He did have someone in mind he wanted to give it too. But he couldn't give it to him even if he wanted to. It would be weird to give it to his sempai considering one was suppose to give it to their peers or their kouhai. It didn't even matter if it was tradition or not… Shizuo didn't know where Tom-san was now._

 

* * *

 

Izaya shrugged as he still lied on Shizuo's bed, tied up and still wearing a ridiculous maid outfit and sexy lingerie as they reminisced together. What a role reversal.

"So what of it? Why are you bringing it up now?" Izaya looked away, still trying to avoid Shizuo's gaze as he pretended to be disinterested.

"You know exactly why I'm bringing it up, louse. Don't fuck with me," Shizuo glared down at him.

"We fought. And you were able to take my second button so I chased after you. All over fuckin' 'bukuro. Well into the night. We trashed the school rooms, ran across the yard, jumped roof top to roof top, scaled the stairs, slid down the rails… all the way into the night!

"Then I chased you up to that damn Sunshine 60 Building, climbing up all fuckin' 60 floors! Don't tell me you forgot that!" Shizuo gripped on Izaya's chin and forced him to face him.

"Shizu-chan~ It was just another day just like any other day for me. What makes you think that I thought that night was special?" Izaya's gritted his teeth and his lips thinned in displeasure. He didn't want to remember it. That night… he…

"That night… you…" Shizuo searched his mind, trying to describe what had happened that night. But there was no single word he could think of that could describe that fateful night. That night… was the only time Izaya was…

"You were… different."

* * *

_The door burst open as Izaya stumbled out breathless as he gasped for the cool night air. Izaya's legs gave out as he collapsed onto the floor, too tired from parkouring for hours, well into the night, not to mention climbing up all 60 floors of Sunshine 60._

_Shizuo was right behind him, also collapsing to the floor as he gasped for breath. The night air was chilly November, it wouldn't have been surprising if snow started to fall right now._

_"F… fucking louse! Give… give it back!" Shizuo's voice was hoarse, his clothes torn in odd places from the chase. But Izaya had cleverly kept himself mostly clean, while dumping trash behind him to wear out his pursuer._

_"Ahahaha. Oh Shizu-chan, is that the only thing you can think while you're up here on Sunshine 60?" Izaya couldn't help but laugh, disappointed at his date for the night._

_"It's just a fucking roof, like any other roof," Shizuo tried to stand up._

_Izaya was already on his feet, tired but alert. He walked over to the ledge and Shizuo watched, half frowning at Izaya's practically suicidal attempt._

_"Look at this beautiful view Shizu-chan, isn't it grand to stand above all of Ikebukuro like this, where humans are smaller than ants you can stomp on again and again?" Izaya turned around and beamed him a smile, his one out stretched hand displaying the neon-view._

_"That's one too many disturbing thought. You want to stomp on humans?" Shizuo muttered, not liking any of this. He was tired, but he could still chase Izaya down and pummel him. But the idea of doing that was distressing when Izaya was so close to the edge of the roof, so close to plummeting down to the ground. Shizuo didn't mind beating the louse's face until it was unrecognizable, but the idea of Izaya falling to his death was…. disconcerting._

_Izaya smiled sadly at Shizuo, one of regret that Shizuo will never understand him. He then turned to view the Ikebukuro in its full night glory._

_"Look at this gem, Shizu-chan. These glittering neon lights are more beautiful and priceless than any jewel or precious stones in the world for under each and every one of these lights are where human souls dwell. And nothing is more beautiful than humanity!"_

_Shizuo frowned as Izaya stretched out his arms as if he wanted to embrace humanity. Shizuo always thought Izaya was a little crazy and he really didn't understand him at all. All he cared right now… was he wanted his button back._

 

* * *

 

"And then you said something about… how it's a pity it's the new moon or the other, but you can see the view below really well." Shizuo frowned, trying to remember that night.

"Shizu-chan. I'm really sorry to say this, but I don't remember it okay?" Izaya sighed irritated.

But Shizuo didn't give up. "Back then, I just thought you were nuts. But… that… night… you…"

* * *

_"Ah, the new moon. How perfect isn't it Shizu-chan? It's like today is the ending of our high school lives and now beginning of our adulthood into the real world. Though it's a pity that there is no light that shines above us, but the darkness only illuminates the ones that shines even brighter than before. This black carpet of darkness, don't you wish to dye it with the color of your soul? And how brightly will we shine, Shizu-chan? Don't you wonder at all if we can shine greater than the moon or the sun above us?" Izaya rambled on. Shizuo was fed up but he listened. Something… was different about Izaya today and the night air felt chilly as it brushed through the holes of his now ruined uniform. He stared at his mortal enemy as Izaya looked up at the sky in reverence._

_"Congratulation on your graduation Shizu-chan! For you and I will be considered adults tomorrow! As you graduate from school and now the society pushes you into this cruel reality of this world, what color then, would you color yourself in this darkness everyone calls as 'Ikebukuro', Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked as the wind blew at the tips of his high school uniform. Shizuo didn't understand a thing Izaya was saying, but all he thought was Izaya was pretty crazy to be standing above Sunshine 60's ledge when the wind was this strong. And a second thing he thought was,_

_"I want my button back, louse." Shizuo growled._

_Izaya's lips thinned into a sad and regretful smile._

 

* * *

 

"Then you said some gibberish, I didn't understand, and you said I didn't understand you at all." Shizuo frowned, trying to remember it. He may not have understood it because he was young, but he knew something was different that night. Something that was said that was very important, a core to the being that made up Orihara Izaya. Shizuo didn't care back then to understand him. But right now…

"Genesis, Shizu-chan. It's from the Bible. I know you aren't religious or Christian or anything, but shouldn't you know some basics? I thought everyone knew that Genesis was part of the Bible. After all, Bible is only the  _most_  selling book in the world, why  _would_  you know about it huh?" Izaya rolled his eyes in disgust at Shizuo's lack of what he considered was 'basic knowledge.'

"So you  _do_ remember, louse." Shizuo glared down at Izaya, who just shrugged.

"Oh please, I was in high school. Give me a break here, I was just on a roll like any other attention-seeking teenager," Izaya rolled his eyes. "Who cares about what a dumb teenager drunk with self-importance would say?" There was a small pause before Izaya faced Shizuo with just as deadly eyes. "You certainly didn't give a shit about it back then."

"Well, I'm  _giving_  a shit about it right now, aren't I louse?" Shizuo gritted his teeth, anger starting to boil within him again. He was  _trying_  to understand him, so it would be nice if this flea would help out a little.

"You said something about not believing in gods after quoting something. Then something about being  _my_  god," Shizuo frowned some more. He remembered how he hated it. How Izaya had proclaimed his godlyhood on Shizuo and how he'll control him, how he'll always make sure he can predict his moves… or at least that's what Shizuo thought he had said.

"But… what you were really trying to say was something else wasn't it?" Shizuo's eyes were back to being serious now. "What you were really trying to say was…"

"STOP!" Izaya yelled, trying frantically to kick off Shizuo. There was a small hint of desperation as he tugged at his bounds.

"Just stop Shizuo! It's all in the past!" Izaya cringed, not wanting to hear any more of it. It was painful to hear, and he felt physical pain as Shizuo forcefully plunged his fist into his heart and ripped out the past he had buried deeply within himself for years.

"But you said it's the past that controls us, that past is our god," Shizuo reminded him. "And how by controlling my past, you will…"

"God dammit Shizuo! It's too late! Don't you get it?" Izaya screamed as he thrashed about, wishing he can push this man off of him, wishing he can throw a punch or gag his mouth, anything to get him to stop talking.

"It's six years too late!" A tear ran down Izaya's face as his buried emotions started to resurface. He had buried it deeply that night, believing that Shizuo will never understand him. He had buried those feelings with layers and layers of hatred over the years and now Shizuo was digging it out forcefully and painfully without any warning or preparation. Izaya hated having anything out of his control and of course it was always Shizuo who would do things out of his master plan.

"Why is it too late?" Shizuo looked down at Izaya who started to sob now. Izaya buried his face next to his bound arm, humiliated and ashamed as emotions he had forgotten started to rise from its coffin. Why the hell did this man understand him now? Why is he finally catching up to him now?

"Because people  _change_  Shizuo!" Izaya shouted viciously, not wanting him any close to his heart now that he had closed it shut back on that night. "I have changed and  _you_  have changed." That night, Izaya had two choices to make. And through Shizuo's insensitive action, Izaya decided to let go of Shizuo, if he couldn't have him, he'll destroy him. Through his death, Izaya will become a god. It was a concept surely no one would understand… but here was the very man that Izaya had thought would never understand him, trying to understand him. And Shizuo was only one step away from completely understanding the being that was Orihara Izaya. All he had to do is say the word that would form the concept into a solid reality and Izaya was fighting him with all his might, not wanting that reality to come into solidification.

"It's not too late Izaya." For once, Shizuo was the calm one. "We're still kids, still running around Ikebukuro like it's our playground." They were only twenty-four and twenty-three respectively, fairly young for 'adults.' "We're still like babies in this world, aren't we?"

Izaya laughed, his laughter unnatural and forced as he laughed at the idea that he, Orihara Izaya, was still a baby in this world. He dabbled in all kinds of secrecy and dark information as well as dipping a hand in underground organizations, black markets all the way up to politics and corporations. And here was Shizuo calling him a baby.  _Shizuo_  of all people! The irony was just too hilarious to contain.

"Hey, Izaya. Listen. I've been doing… a lot of thinking lately." Shizuo said, which was a big understatement considering all the 'thinking' he's been doing for a week and a half was more thinking than he's ever done in his entire life. By torturing himself with various faces of Izaya, he had dug up an old memory of that night and he had thought very hard on it.

"You? THINK? HAHAHA! Does Mr. Ameba think he's capable of having a brain today?" Izaya laughed at his face again, trying to get him angry. He would rather have Shizuo be angry and punch him in the face right now. Shizuo gritted his teeth, forcing down the rage that consumed him all too often.

"Izaya! Will you shut the fuck up and just listen?"

"No, YOU listen, Shizu-chan," Izaya growled back, his eyes snapping open as his laughter disappeared immediately.

"It's fucking too late Shizu-chan. Do you think you can finally understand me? Do you think you can understand the gibberish said by some teenager six years ago? Oh yay, you're a sage aren't you? Now that you're twenty-fucking-four years old huh? Well, you're wrong. Six years? Ha! You're a hundred years behind me Shizu-chan. You understand  _nothing_  about me.  _Absolutely nothing._ "

Izaya spat at those words heatedly, as his small body shook in anger, and his cheeks flushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Regarding the second button:
> 
> en (dot) wikipedia (dot) org/wiki/Japanese_school_uniform
> 
> The second button from the top of a male's uniform is often given away to a female he is in love with, and is considered a way of confession. The second button is the one closest to the heart and is said to contain the emotions from all three years attendance at the school. This practice was apparently made popular by a scene in a novel by Daijun Takeda.
> 
> answers (dot) yahoo (dot) com/question/index?qid=20080416195544AAW0vzw  
> \- The first button is for your buddy.
> 
> The second button is for your true love.
> 
> The third and fourth are for your friends.
> 
> Incidentally, Shizuo thought Izaya wanted his first button "button for a buddy" because he doesn't think Izaya would be EVER meaning the second one.
> 
> Since he's holding onto the first button, Izaya uses his knife and cleverly cuts and takes his second button.
> 
> You can think whatever you want about Shizuo's feelings towards Tom. (though i'll probably touch upon it later in the fic)
> 
> /snickers.


	16. Chapter 16

"…" Shizuo stared down at Izaya silently who was breathing heavily. His body was still forcefully aroused from foreign chemicals in his blood stream and Izaya felt it to be very uncomfortable.

"You know… I'd probably take you more seriously if you weren't wearing a maid outfit and a girl's underwear," Shizuo noted as he stared down at Izaya, both of their cocks still weeping for attention. Izaya's ears turned red.

"I find that statement extremely offensive, Shizu-chan."

"And… if I don't understand you, well, I guess we still have some time," Shizuo leaned forward once more.

"We? Since when did we have w-mmmmngh…!" Shizuo covered Izaya's mouth with his as his fingers pushed up the flimsy bra and squeezed down on both of his nipples. Shizuo thumbed at it a bit, feeling them harden under his touch. It was cute, feeling the nipples respond to him immediately.

When Shizuo pulled up, he dragged his tongue long and slow, down Izaya's neck to the center of his chest, caressing the wound he left there with his tongue gently. Izaya moaned again as his body flared up once more. His legs quivered, he tried to close them together but Shizuo's hip blocked him.

"Shi… Shizu-chan…. Don't," Izaya whimpered again, feeling that disgusting sensation swell from his inside. So much of his buried feelings were resurfacing. He didn't like it. He didn't want it.

But Shizuo didn't listen as his hands tenderly stroked at his sensitive spots, fully aware that he'd enjoy them.

"Izaya…" Shizuo breathed as he came up once more to lick and nip at Izaya's ear tip, his groin brushing against the informant's own hardened manhood.

"D… don't…" Izaya gritted his teeth and closed his eyes shut, not wanting to feel aroused when their cocks finally met and rubbed against each other. Shizuo's hands slid down his chest to his hips, leaving trails of scorching heat that all too well started to gather around Izaya's erection. Then the hands stopped around Izaya's pelvis, massaging them as it just barely missed his cock. The teasing took his breath away, as Izaya was not used to having someone feel up all of his sweet spots all at once. Though Shiki knew all of Izaya's favorite spots, he only caressed them sparingly, like one would give as a treat.

But Shizuo overwhelmed the informant with giving him everything he's got all at once. It was a mind-blowing experience, and his cock swelled with excruciating pain and pleasure, as it demanded even more.

"S… stop…!" Izaya shouted as he pressed his face against the side of his arm to hide his flushed cheeks, unable to calm the beating of his heart as his desire assaulted and penetrated all ends of his nerve system.

"Izaya…" Shizuo whispered as his hand caressed the raven haired man's cheek and slowly forced him to face his eyes. Strangely, Shizuo realized that he did want to see Izaya blushing, wondering if he was blushing just like Izaya did in his dream almost two weeks ago.

"No… don't… nggh…" Izaya tried to turn away, though Shizuo's hand kept him in place.

"I want to see your face, Izaya." Shizuo said firmly as he gave Izaya's ear tip a final lick before leaning over.

"Don't look!" Izaya flinched and tried to cover his face with his arms vainly. But Shizuo's hands again pried him apart effortlessly, and Izaya felt even more naked as all of his masks were ripped away.

Shizuo gripped tightly onto Izaya's arm, prying him apart to see Izaya's flushed and aroused face. So, this was how he looked… Shizuo thought. Since Izaya wasn't facing him when he had entered him the first time, he wasn't able to see his face clearly. It was … different from his dream. Izaya wasn't moaning that he loved him, which Shizuo didn't expect to begin with. Izaya didn't look like he was having a pleasant time however, more in pain and shame. Izaya closed his eyes and looked away, not wanting to face Shizuo as he bit his lips.

Shizuo hesitated, seeing that Izaya was plainly not enjoying it, though in actuality, his body certainly was, but Shizuo had no knowledge of this. Shizuo's finger slowly travelled down Izaya's cock again, watching him shiver at the contact. Hoping it would help, Shizuo's fingers wrapped around the erection and pumped it. Shizuo continued to watch as Izaya tensed and tried his hardest not to moan.

Feeling braver Shizuo's finger travelled lower, feeling the entrance below. Immediately there was reaction as Izaya gave a light moan. A slip of his finger earned Shizuo another desperate groan.

"Heh… so you do like this. Who's the pervert now, Izaya?" Shizuo rimmed him with his finger as his second finger entered, stretching him open. Izaya gasped and refused to talk, clenching his mouth tightly closed.

Izaya was already thoroughly coated and stretched. Shizuo started to unbuckle his pants and pulled out his own erection. It surprised him that he did want Izaya yet at the same time, he wasn't surprised at all.

Shizuo pushed up the skirt and the bodice some more so they wouldn't be in the way as he positioned himself. Giving Izaya's oozing cock a final kiss, which made the informant shiver with anticipation, Shizuo started to enter slowly.

Izaya flinched, not from pain as he was used to having a man's cock inside him, but from the pleasure of being filled. His body desperately needed it…. he needed someone inside him and take control of that desire that continued to burn his body unsatisfied.

Once inside, Shizuo started to move, still watching Izaya's face contort as his hand grasped onto the bindings above him. The way Izaya's body buckled under him, with the skirt flailing about and the little bit of the bra and underwear revealing itself more and more as it slipped down with each thrust made Shizuo grow harder inside Izaya. He grunted as he started to thrust a bit harder.

Then Shizuo found one spot that made Izaya yelp and arch back.

"Izaya?" Shizuo paused, wondering if he had hurt him. But Izaya didn't say anything as he shivered under him, his leaking cock almost coming prematurely as it squirted once.

Seeing Izaya's erection grow harder, Shizuo realized that it was actually the opposite. "Heh… so you like t hat spot," Shizuo mused as Izaya flushed harder and turned his face away.

Shizuo continued his thrust with renewed heat as Izaya was trying his best to keep his moans from slipping out of him though his hips bucked, wanting more and his legs felt like jelly as the pleasure consumed him, pleasure he tried to deny. The more he thrusted, Shizuo frowned as he didn't see that Izaya was in pleasure. Feeling guilty, Shizuo deliberately slowed down, thrusting carefully to hit that certain spot that seem to make Izaya react tensely as he shivered and moans escaped him.

"D… dammit Shizu-chan," Izaya gritted his teeth, not enjoying at all the torture of having Shizuo thrust much slowly. He could not admit to him that he wanted him to go faster. His body burned with each thrust and even as Shizuo brushed his prostate, Izaya's body wanted to be pounded even harder. Stuck between his desire and pride, Izaya arched his body, trying to get the most of Shizuo's thrust each time he stroke his sweet spot just the way he wanted it.

Seeing Izaya cringe only made Shizuo wonder if he was hurting him. He… didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. He was sick of it. He hated violence more than anything. Seeing Izaya's face contort with what he thought was pain rather than pleasure, Shizuo leaned forward to kiss his lips, trying to ease his pain.

Izaya gasped when he felt Shizuo's thumbs on his nipples again as his mouth parted to taste Shizuo's tongue gently massaging him. Instantly he was overcome with intense pleasure as Shizuo grinded into his prostate and stimulated both his nipples at once. His mouth was filled with the taste of bitter cigarette as his mind blanked out white from overwhelming stimulation.

Izaya started to moan into Shizuo's mouth, forgetting that he was having sex with his most hated enemy, forgetting himself as he gave into the tender heat that devoured him whole. His body wasn't used being lavished with such softness and care, and his mind melted as it gorged himself with the carnal need.

As they slowly neared their climax, groaning and moaning, they forgot that they had years and years of hatred under their belt. It didn't matter anymore as they moved simultaneously, hips bucking in undulating manner as they hastened toward their goal.

As Izaya's brain forgot everything and his mouth was filled once again with the taste of cigarette, Izaya's habit came out in the worst timed form. Izaya breathed the name he assosicated with when it came to cigarette-tasting kisses during sex.

"Shiki…. san…," Izaya moaned as Shizuo kissed him.

Shizuo froze in his mid-kiss and his mis-thrust.

Shizuo could feel his erection shrinking. His chest tightened in pain as he felt as if someone grabbed his heart and clutched it until it bled. The blonde pulled out and got up, his hand shakily pushing back his sweaty hair as his mouth desperately wanted the taste of cigarettes to relieve his jitter.

Izaya looked up, his hazy eyes focusing when the warmth of a human touch and the sensation of being filled left him suddenly. After several blinks, he realized he was with Shizuo, who was zipping his pants back up.

"Sh… Shizu-chan? Wait, where do you think you're going?"

Shizuo didn't even bother answering Izaya as he got up and hurriedly left the room, feeling disgusted with everything, vile taste rising from his stomach.

"Wait! Shizu-chan? Dammit!" Izaya now tugged as his bonds as Shizuo slammed the door shut and left.

"Ugh! At least free me so I can finish off! You damn protozoan!"


	17. Chapter 17

It was middle of the night as Shizuo walked out hurriedly to feel the cool nocturnal air breeze by. He had a splitting headache and a throbbing heartburn. He walked aimlessly, trying to swallow down the foulness that kept climbed up to his throat. He needed to get rid of it.

He checked his pockets for cigarettes but realized he had left them behind. He also forgot his sunglasses and his bowtie as well as his black vest. All he had were his shirt, pants, shoes, crumpled receipts and a pocket full of changes.

"Heh, I'm a mess," Shizuo lightly chuckled at his own wretched mess and looked around for a cigarette vending machine. Sure enough, there was one nearby, next to a flickering overhead light.

He walked over and put in the right amount of coins, which he just barely managed to do, and pressed for his brand of cigarettes. The machine made some 'ka-chunk' noise, but nothing came out.

Shizuo laughed, despite himself at his own bad luck.

"Ah, is this your payback for all those times I've abused you?" Shizuo patted the vending machine like an old friend and leaned against it.

"You know, you don't have to worry. Izaya's nowhere here. In fact, the flea's kinda tied up in my house. Haha… so I wouldn't be throwing you around any time soon," Shizuo talked to the vending machine that glowed with fluorescent lights.

"You'd think I'd be there right now, beating the shit out of him, taking my revenge on all those times that he screwed up with me… I wonder what I'm doing out here…."

Yeah… what was he doing… having perverted thoughts on the man he thought he hated since high school. Then actually having sex with him in a threesome…. not to mention that was his first sex to begin with. And then he actually felt guilty for hurting the louse. Lastly, he enjoyed having sex with Orihara Izaya. He never would have guessed that he'll be doing any of this when he had first met the raven haired boy with piercing scarlet eyes that intensely stalked him.

"Speaking of which, I didn't give him much chance did I… I decided I didn't like him as soon as I met him," Shizuo thought out loud as he remembered the first day he met him. Something about him was off. He smelled of everything that was just wrong, like when someone saw a moth colored brightly in yellow and red warning and danger signs. Shizuo noticed the signs that declared him as poisonous venom from miles away.

After several years of being backstabbed and sabotaged, young Shizuo started to rely on gut instincts alone as he was forced to face people attacking him left and right. He didn't have time to trust anyone; trust was something that was earned. And the only people who managed to earn it other than his family members were Tom senpai. Shizuo's gut feeling told him that this boy smelled of trouble. Lots of it.

Shizuo wasn't wrong. It took years for Shizuo to finally achieve some peace after taking Tom-senpai's advice and dyed his hair like a warning sign. After showing off some strength, everyone started leaving him alone… until Orihara Izaya came to his life and caused havoc. From day one, Izaya and Shizuo fought each other violently. Shizuo chased him and chased him, always one step behind that laughing maniac, and always one hand reach away from that fluttering black jacket that mocked him. Izaya sped away, his legs quick, and his flips in the air always flaunting his skills with unnecessary show-off way yet he was always still out of reach.

That was when Shizuo started throwing things at the louse.

Thinking back, he was the one man that Shizuo really wasn't afraid of hurting, because Shizuo  _really_ wanted to hurt him. What he would give back then to crush that jeering smirk and break that back that flipped in the air so flamboyantly.

Izaya had a flair that Shizuo could never mimic, that magnetic charm that shined not only in his display of parkour but the way people gathered about him. Everyone in the school knew Izaya was a dangerous friend to have, yet people flocked to him with need. Back in high school, the blond scorned it, saying how they weren't  _real_  friends and that Izaya was a pitiful creature without a friend. But thinking back on it now, Shizuo wondered if he was jealous. What he said was probably not wrong, in fact he remembered Izaya flinching a bit when Shizuo said it to that pompous face that one day. But Shizuo knew deep in his heart, he said it out of spite and envy, for they were both the same type of people colored in warning signs, but yet, why did Izaya so easily mingle with the crowd? People avoided Shizuo, and to be true that was what he had wanted and strived to achieve in middle school… but he could not help but feel the tinge of green that spread inside his heart at seeing Izaya in the center of attention.

Was it admiration? No, Shizuo refused to admit that he admired Izaya. But he did admit that he did have that one aspect of him that Shizuo credited him for, the ability to have people around him. Shizuo longed for it but denied it himself until he could bring himself to control his power and temper.

"I guess, it's a bit different though huh… I mean, it's not like Izaya had some strange abnormalities that would accidentally hurt people he loved…" Shizuo wondered out loud as he looked up into the night sky. The sky was gray as the city's pollution blocked out the lights from the stars.

It did not make sense to Shizuo why Izaya mingled with others yet separated himself. Why he had no problem getting close to people, yet cut himself off. He was always surrounded by people yet alone. Like during gym class, or class discussion, or during lunch breaks, he had no problem assimilating into any group of his choice. Izaya made friends within few seconds. However, by the end of the day, he was either with another group, or just by himself. Sometimes people worshipped him, which in itself was putting Izaya on a pedestal, and not in a par like friends should.

"I always thought he was just cocky and believed he was too good for everyone. But you know, thinking back on it, that must be still kinda lonely huh. Not being able to find anyone who can stay your friend for more than a day or a week… except Shinra. But he's a nutcase," Shizuo snickered as he remembered his other old friend.

Shizuo sighed and reminisced a bit. Like the time Izaya had threw down the barrels full of gasoline and they both got detention from the teachers. And the other time where Izaya tricked all their third-year senpai into thinking they finally got a valentine's day card from a cute girl and framed it on him. There was that one other time when Izaya sent a direct challenge letter to all the school district pretending it was from Shizuo so he had to fight every single banchou in the area. Ah yes, and then there was that one time when he…

Shizuo smirked. Izaya really was nothing but headaches and trouble. He always managed to find a way for Shizuo to search for him and try to beat the shit out of him at the end of the day. Even if he wanted to forget him, Izaya always found ways to spring traps for Shizuo to walk right into. Shizuo being short tempered just had to find that scheming louse and …

"Were you that lonely Izaya," Shizuo sadly smiled as he realized. "Did you really need to have someone to play hide and seek while you hid? Someone who would chase you down even if you hid in some far corner at the end of the earth, even if that monster would rip your throat out once he found you?"

"That night… was the first and only time you showed your true self to someone wasn't it. And not realizing this, I pushed you away and hurt you. You're such a brat Izaya, all you had to say was…." Shizuo paused. What could have Izaya said? After all those piled up hatred, Izaya couldn't come forward and tell him straight up that he just wanted to be a friend. So Izaya had told him… in Izaya-esque way. And young Shizuo was too caught up to see the bigger picture.

' _It's too late!'_

Izaya's scream rang in Shizuo's ears.

"Is it I wonder," Shizuo sat up, straightening his knee, and pushing himself off of the vending machine.

"Thanks for listening. Actually, you're not a bad listener. I should throw you less and talk to you more huh?" Shizuo chuckled as he gave a pat to the cigarette vending machine.

The vending machine thunk'ed in response and a pack of cigarette fell down the slot.

"Hey, what do you know. Thanks," Shizuo smiled as he picked up his cigarette pack.

"Guess I'll head back now… wish me luck," Shizuo waved at the subdued glowing lights that beamed quietly from the vending machine and walked back briskly. He had a lot of 'catching up' to do.

* * *

Shizuo came back with a cooler head and a determined heart. He closed the door behind him as he stepped into his apartment again. He snuffed out the last remainder of his cigarette before he opened the door to his bed room to check on Izaya.

Izaya lay on his bed still tied up and curled up toward one side of the bed with his crumpled maid outfit. His face was away from the entrance as he lay there shivering. Shizuo sat on his bed and the mattress sunk under his weight.

"Izaya…," Shizuo called out as he looked over. Izaya's eyes were closed as he appeared to be sleeping but Shizuo noted that he wasn't exactly sleeping per say. Rather, the informant was sweating pretty hard and looked as if he was not really there…

"Hey, Izaya," Shizuo patted his cheek to try to get his attention. Izaya turned to his side and whispered, "Shizu-chan? Are you back?"

Shizuo started to untie Izaya, a bit worried with the young man at the state he was in. Once Izaya was free, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Shizuo, starting to kiss him messily.

"Iza… mmmf… wait…. Mmnn… I have… nnmm…. somethi… nnnm… to tell…,"

"Not now, Shizu-chan," Izaya hissed as he kissed him desperately and his hand travelled down the toned chest to his pants. His other free hand dipped under his skirt to pump at his swollen erection. Izaya's eyes were glazed and his mouth very needy as his hand sought out for Shizuo's manhood.

"Dammit Shizu-chan! Why aren't you hard?" Izaya cursed a bit as he forcefully pushed Shizuo down to bed and unzipped his pants.

Shizuo struggled with Izaya, not wanting to hurt him, but confused at his reaction. "Izaya! What's wrong with you? Will you quit messing around-,"

"No,  _you_  quit fooling around, Shizu-chan!" Izaya interrupted his eyes still a bit unfocused but still slit in anger. "You  _left_  me right before finishing your job, in which  _you_ forced yourself on me first, which is a 'sexual assault' by the way, and you didn't even bother to untie me so I _can_  finish the job by myself, you fucking brute! Do you know how much  _painful_  it is to have the damn whatever-drug Shiki-san decided was a good idea to give me so  _you_  can have some fun?" Izaya cursed some more under his breath as he ripped the pants down from Shizuo. "Why do I even bother explaining. Your brain's full of muscle, I bet you don't even understand what extacy or aphrodisiacs are."

"Wait, so he… drugged you?" Izaya was saying things too fast, expecting Shizuo to understand him with what little information he fed the blonde.

"Just… never mind. Fuck me already Shizu-chan!" Izaya burst out his frustration, furious that Shizuo was  _not erect_  anymore. How dare he get soft on him after all that teasing earlier?

Shizuo frowned. He came back and had fully prepared himself for a long serious talk. This… wasn't what he had expected. But Izaya's kisses were needy, desperate and… addicting. He still tasted great and it only made the blond want more. Shizuo was still a bit surprised at how much he did like being kissed and kissing back.

The blond winced when Izaya started to try to pump his cock roughly. "Wait, Izaya. I don't think…" Shizuo groaned as his length was harshly abused. Izaya tried to grind himself into Shizuo but it was no use, it just wasn't enough stimulation to satisfy Izaya's hunger.

Still on top of Shizuo, Izaya turned around, straddling him facing the other way as his mouth came down on Shizuo's shaft. Immediately there was reaction as Shizuo arched into that soft, warm tongue that licked him up and down. A groan escaped Shizuo's mouth as his body warmed up to the touch.

"Don't just lie there and wait!" Izaya hissed again, upset with Shizuo's inexperience. He lowered his own dick to poke at Shizuo's lips, demanding him to get to work.

"No teeth Shizu-chan, and please hurry," Izaya insisted as Shizuo still stared a bit at the engorged flesh up close. The blonde's fingers wrapped around it curiously, feeling the manhood throb under his touch. With his free hand, he pushed away the ruffles of the skirt that were in the way. Once again, he thought to himself how he never thought he'd be doing this with Izaya. He lost count by now with all these 'I never thought I would do this with Izaya', and at this rate nothing really surprised him.

Shizuo opened his mouth and took in the erection, feeling the length slide inside. Izaya instantly moaned loudly like a cat in heat as precum dribbled into Shizuo's mouth. Izaya moved his hips slowly, wanting that hot mouth to suck him dry and eat him up. Shizuo didn't know how to feel but Izaya tasted… sweet. Carefully he sucked on him, feeling Izaya shudder above him as his tongue glided up and down and his mouth drink his nectar. His strong arms helped Izaya stay above him as they gripped on to his thin waist.

Now that Izaya was getting his hunger satiated to some degree, he went back to his work. He wasn't planning on the amateur to take the lead. He opened his mouth to swallow Shizuo's shaft, his tongue licking at the head as he lowered himself. Shizuo groaned into Izaya's mouth at the sensation, which sent a gentle vibration to both their groins. Shizuo's length was longer, so whatever Izaya's mouth could not lap up, his nimble fingers caressed it tenderly. There was nothing but the sound of both of them sucking and licking each other's erection.

It wasn't long until Shizuo's length was fully erect and Izaya's hips moved more demandingly, swaying his ass as he wanted Shizuo to deliver him his long-awaited ecstasy. Izaya moaned into Shizuo's cock in his mouth before he pulled out to say, "Sh… Shizu-chan, I… I'm going to…"

Izaya's back stiffened as his toes curled around the bed sheets by Shizuo's sides when blindingly sweet orgasm finally hit him. Izaya poured his seeds into Shizuo's mouth, this time aimed properly so he wouldn't spray all over his face. Shizuo's mouth was instantly filled with hot cum and he drank it like it was warm milk.


	18. Chapter 18

Izaya would have slumped over on top of the ex-bartender if Shizuo was not holding him up with his two hands. Gently he lowered the tired young man down as Izaya tried to catch his breath and enjoy his afterglow. Now Shizuo's erection wanted some attention, but he didn't have the heart to ask anything from Izaya. The debt collector's hand moved toward his own cock to pump it while Izaya's face was right next to his erection, but the informant swatted him away.

"Nuh-uh, Shizu-chan. I'm not letting you have him," Izaya pouted as he raised his head a bit to glare back at him, wrapping his fingers around the erection possessively. With the messy hair and his headdress and cat ears half sliding down, Shizuo could not help but chuckle at how… cute Izaya could look when he tried.

"Are you taking my cock hostage, Izaya?" Shizuo noted with amusement, though back of his mind told him that could be… a dangerous situation for his lower half.

"You kept  _me_  hostage in your bed…  _maaaster_ ," Izaya said haughtily as he got up to straddle Shizuo properly now. "So I think I have some right in saying that you've kept me away from your damn teasing cock for way too long and I want a piece of it." Izaya thought for a second as he stroked the erection that throbbed under his petting like a purring cat. "Else, I'll bite it," Izaya threatened, though his smirk told Shizuo that he was probably teasing. … probably. His cock however cringed at the thought and shrank a little.

Izaya chuckled as he continued to stroke his new pet, trying to coax him back to his full hardness, his finger circling around under the head as if it was a kitten's chin. Shizuo still winced as he half wondered if Izaya would bite him.

"Aww… Shizu-chan, are you afraid of being bitten?" Izaya licked his lips as his seductive red eyes stared down at Shizuo. Shizuo shifted uncomfortably at the sudden shift in power play. "What are you planning now, louse?" Shizuo half growled accusingly, though his body was back to being fully flushed now as his cheeks warmed up at seeing Izaya in partially revealing bed-wrinkled maid outfit with his black kinky lingerie peeking through in places.

"Well, didn't you want to play the master and maid game? …  _Master?_ " Izaya added after a pause, mockingly. Izaya slowly pulled up the thong that were lowered to his knees earlier. Then he lifted his skirt to display his semi-erected cock covered in that lacy panties while its pink head was peeking out shyly. Shizuo gaped as he looked at Izaya's lower half, the cute garter belt that still hooked up one of the stockings while the other one had dropped down to the knee.

"Do you like what you see,  _Master?_ " Izaya purred as he moved his ass on top of Shizuo's hard summit that wanted to erupt with hot liquid at the sight of Izaya. Shizuo took a sharp intake of breath when Izaya used the crevice of his behind to rub against that hot cock deliberately slow. Izaya made sure that Shizuo could see everything as he continued to hold up the hems of his skirt. Shizuo groaned and made an attempt to reach out to grab Izaya.

"Nuh-uh, master. You aren't getting any unless you lie down and wait patiently," Izaya hissed as pushed back Shizuo to bed with his hand.

"Dammit Izaya!" Shizuo shouted but he lay on the bed as ordered. He could always over take the flea but… despite his temper, which he had been doing his best to control lately ever since the Saika incident, he also still felt very guilty with the whole situation. Izaya was enjoying the power trip right now, despite the fact that he hated this blond. … maybe.

Izaya pushed away the thought. Right now, his body wanted him because of those chemicals in his system. Yes, that must be it.

Now Izaya carefully positioned himself on top of Shizuo's cock, his tight entrance feeling the slippery pre-cum dripping surface as he rubbed it. Shizuo's breath stuttered at the sensation. This was fun, Izaya noted, having Shizuo completely under his control… until he loses his temper. Izaya decided that wouldn't be very fun so he'll have to stop teasing soon.

Izaya still held up his skirt as his other hand now reached down and fingered his own inside, lightly moaning as he did so. Shizuo panted heavily at the sight as he could plainly see Izaya's erection as well as those two fingers dip inside. The guile little man stretched himself as his fingers spread into a scissor. While his hands pried him open, he slid down on Shizuo's hot erection as his piercing eyes intensely observed the blonde's reactions.

Shizuo groaned, finally feeling the hot tightness envelope him as he was tempted to thrust upward and bury himself inside warm and wet flesh. Izaya too moaned as his legs shook each time he felt the hot cock perforate him.

"D… dammit, Shizu-chan… I don't know how you managed to stick this thing inside me… twice…. Nngh…. Little Shizu-chan…. isn't very little…. is it?" Izaya's breath was ragged as he squeezed and tightened around the little… or not so little, intruder.

Shizuo grunted something inaudible but it didn't take too long for Izaya to finally lower himself completely, feeling the hot rod scorch through his inner muscles. Izaya trembled on top of Shizuo as he adjusted to Shizuo… for the third time. Shizuo could feel the warm, tender flesh clenched and unclenched around him.

"I… Izaya?"

"Not now Shizu-c… I mean 'master', I'm… I'm trying to concentrate," Izaya chided, as he closed his eyes and concentrated on focusing his pain elsewhere. He grabbed hold of both hems of his skirt like how a girl would courtesy once more and held it up a bit higher. After awhile, Izaya opened his hazy eyes bravely.

"I hope you're ready for a ride, master~ I may not be used to your size, but I am a certified pet from the renowned Awakusu-kai~"

"I thought you said you weren't his pet," Shizuo frowned, not liking the sound of that.

"Oh shush Shizu-chan and play along," and with that Izaya started to move.

Shizuo panted heavily, feeling Izaya move up and down as the bed springs squeaked as the sound mixed in with the sound of wet lube and precum being slickly rubbed together. As Izaya was weakened from his previous climax, but he refused to let go of this chance to torture his 'little hostage' that continuously penetrated him again and again with melting pleasure. And the entire time, he made sure Shizuo could see his hard erection that now peeked fully out of the black lace thong, oozing with pre-cum as the blonde's own cock pummeled in and out of that tight hole.

Shizuo stared up at those flushed cheeks and the fully budded erection that twitched for attention. He did think again for the millionth time, how he would have never imagined that his first sex would be with two men at once, one of them being his hated enemy, and now his second sex would be with his hated enemy again in a maid outfit in kitty ears. But the thought melted away in the heat as his heart raced to match with the rhythm Izaya dictated.

Within minutes, Izaya started having trouble holding up the hems of his skirts as he bounced up and down Shizuo's cock. His knees were weak and buckled under him as he came down on the blonde's erection hard, each time making it difficult for him to keep the fast pace. As Izaya started to slow down, he gave up holding up his skirts for the full display and placed his trembling hands on top of Shizuo's firm abs, kneading it and feeling how hard those fine lines and muscles were. Using his hands as the new leverage, Izaya started to move his hips even faster, moaning as his ass burned and melted with pleasure.

"Nnng…. Shizu-chan… I… I'm gonna…" Izaya's red orbs were slightly watery as tears welled up at the corners of his eyes. Izaya stiffened as he got ready to come.

"Oh no you don't," Shizuo scowled as he quickly reached out and grabbed onto Izaya's cock, not allowing him his orgasm.

"What the fuck, Shizu-chan! Nnngh…. Aaah… aaah..! I… I need too…!" Izaya silently screamed, a tear threatening to fall as Shizuo held tightly onto his swollen cock that was now begging for release.

"You're not coming until I say so," Shizuo growled as he got up so Izaya sat on his lap. The debt collector crushed his mouth to the helpless man as his slick tongue forcefully entered. They exchanged wet kisses as Shizuo's other hand held Izaya's head firmly in place.

When they finally broke apart, Izaya was left breathless and in pain from the denied orgasm. "What the hell, Shizu-chan! You were a perfect gentleman earlier!" Izaya hissed, not liking that rough hand that still held him tightly below.

"Shut up louse," was all Shizuo said his thumb twirled over Izaya's swollen head. Shizuo's thrust was slow and rhythmical as he kept his own pace. Izaya moaned loudly, almost in pain from how sensitive everything felt. Shizuo didn't feel like explaining… that he was pretty hurt earlier when Izaya had called him Shiki. This time, he wasn't planning on touching Izaya in the areas that he liked because he was afraid it'll remind him of Shiki instead, not realizing that it was his cigarette breath that induced the false memory. He wanted Izaya to remember this…. that he was different from Shiki. It was a strange type of possessiveness.

Shizuo thrusted upward at the same time as he twirled his thumb over the head. It didn't take long for Izaya turn into a contorting mess as he twisting this way and that. His nails clawed at Shizuo's back, begging him for release. "Shi… Shizu-chan, please… aaah… ! Aaah!" Izaya cried as his sanity teetered on the thin line.

Shizuo pulled Izaya for another kiss as he released his hand, jets of white stream covering his palm as Izaya finally came, shivering in ecstasy. Shizuo's tongue lingered on Izaya's moist mouth before he let him go. As the tired informant slumped over to the crumbled sheets, Shizuo noted how he looked totally ravished and disheveled, his chest heaving deeply as he tried to catch his breath.

But Shizuo wasn't done. After all, he  _still_ hasn't came yet. Shizuo stood up on his knees, pulling up Izaya's limp legs and once again plunged in. Izaya gasped as he felt himself filled again with that gigantic cock that had been assaulting him. He pushed away the skirt flatter so he could see Izaya's face begging for mercy.

"Shizu… chan…" Izaya said weakly, his eyes barely opened. As he felt his body being lifted up, in between his hazy mind, Izaya decided Shizuo really was a monster. This time, Shizuo didn't tease him slowly like before but once he inserted himself inside, he started to pummel into him rapidly, concentrating as he tried to reach his own climax. The raw sound of skin slapping matched with Izaya's wanton cries as he clutched tightly onto his bed sheets like it was his lifeline. The young informant tossed his pretty little head with kitty ears as his body went into over-drive. Izaya's legs tried to wrap around Shizuo's waist clumsily, but mostly his legs were useless as they didn't have enough strength.

"Oh gawd…. Sh… Shizu-chan… aaah,… aah!… You're…aaah…! tearing me….aaah!... apart…!" Izaya was lifted even higher from the mattress as Shizuo stood still, holding onto the informant's thin waist and pulled him up and down manually. Before long, Shizuo too felt his cock finally seeking his release. He leaned forward as he groaned, making Izaya's body curl into a semi-ball before filling him with his hot sticky discharge. Blinding ecstasy ripped through the blonde as he shot his entire hot load that had been waiting for a long time. Izaya shuddered again as the cum dripped out of his ass from being over filled and also climaxed as another mind-blowing orgasm seized his fervid body.

After their frenzied climax, Shizuo fell on top of Izaya, almost immediately fainting with sleep as exhaustion took over his once fervor driven body. Izaya lay there, too tired to push off the heavy brute as he realized his face was covered with his own fresh cum. He could taste himself as some of it was squirted into his mouth when he cried in his orgasm.

'Ah, damn you and your revenge Shizu-chan. I said the last one was your fault and totally an accident,' Izaya thought to himself as he closed his eyes and fell asleep, too tired to wipe off the sticky mess that dripped down his face.


	19. Chapter 19

Shizuo woke up to something soft and warm that gently stirred under him. He shifted to the side and looked to note that there was someone sleeping next to him, his head tucked just under his chin, and one hand clinging to his white sleeves.

Shizuo blinked as he tried to get used to the darkness. Noting the tousled maid outfit, Shizuo was hit with the memories of what he did that evening as if someone suddenly slammed him on the back of his head with a 1 ton hammer.

The blond groaned as he looked up and over the sleeping informant as he noted the time. It read 4a.m.

Shizuo smirked at the irony. * At least he got more sleep than last time.

Izaya shuffled under him as his forehead leaned closer and touched the blonde's chest. Shizuo frowned and thought of pushing him away when… he realized Izaya's forehead was burning. Quickly he pressed his hand against his cheeks and sure enough, he was feverish. The sticky cum had dried up by now and left a dry residual though some parts of it were moist due to his sweat. And the thin man was definitely shaking under him.

Shizuo muttered something as he rolled to the other side and turned on his nightlight. After squinting at the sudden brightness that blinded him briefly, Shizuo took a better look at his bed partner.

He was in a sad state. The kitty ears have fallen off somewhere and the headdress drooped to the side in a pathetically wretched manner. The maid outfit looked quite uncomfortable as it looked like a crumpled pile of fabric. He was lying on his belly, his little chest heaving up and down as his parched lips parted. His cheeks and his exposed skin were flushed feverishly, and it didn't look like it was from being aroused anymore.

"Shizu… chan…?" Izaya whispered, trying to shield his eyes from the bright lights. But his eyes remained closed as he moaned softly.

"Looks like you need to go to the hospital," Shizuo noted, not liking this image of a weakened Izaya once again. It was… abnormal. Though he had now seen him in this state several times. Shizuo got up to look for his phone.

Izaya reached out and grabbed onto Shizuo's sleeves to stop him, "Wait! D-don't take me to the hospital," Izaya's voice was wheezy and that did not sound good. "I hate hospitals. They're no better than jail cells. " Izaya coughed a bit.

Shizuo sat back down on the bed but Izaya didn't relax his grip. "You obviously need help. And I'm not taking care of you," Shizuo told him shortly. But he was already regretting what he said as he saw how badly Izaya was suffering.

"Fine. I'll… go home tonight. Just… don't take me to the hospital," Izaya then snickered in memory, "or are you as cruel as Namie-san and force me there just to spite me? Ahaha… it'd be pretty funny if I was emitted to the same room again huh? 'Cell 404,' it has a nice ring to it, kind of like a title for a movie." Izaya rambled feverishly, not making much sense anymore.

Shizuo looked at Izaya quietly. When he finally spoke up, he said, "You look pretty pitiful, flea."

Izaya shrugged. Shizuo did not understand the meaning of that. The tired informant willed himself up, his arms shaking as he did so. He crawled over to the other side of the bed away from Shizuo and rolled over.

His legs buckled and Izaya crumpled to the floor like a doll with a loud thud. Shizuo jumped over the bed and looked down at the trembling man in a scrunched-up maid outfit. Izaya grabbed onto the night stand and tried to get up again.

"So you're planning to go home like that?" Shizuo asked casually, trying to sound as uncaring as possible. If he walked out into the streets right now, trap or not, he would be a target to all the wolves out there in the night city.

"It doesn't concern you now does it, Shizu-chan? After all, you're an uncaring monster who decided to ravish a tied-up and kidnapped maiden on his bed, then throw him out once he was through," Izaya retorted. Shizuo noted again how his voice was very dry and raspy. Izaya took a wobbly step forward as one of the stockings that weren't hooked to his garter belt fell to his ankle, and he was missing one shoe – which was thrown onto the floor somewhere and Izaya didn't feel like looking for it.

Shizuo scratched his head. Okay, so he admitted that he felt guilty.

He got up, lifted Izaya, carried him back to the bed and dropped him unceremonially.

"What are you doing? I thought you just kicked me out," Izaya hissed.

"Shut up louse, I'm calling Shinra," Shizuo said as he grabbed his cell phone and proceeded to walk out.

"Wait, don't make him come here you stu-" Izaya started but the blonde cut him off, "I know dammit! I'm not an idiot!" Shizuo barked, as if he would embarrass himself further by telling Shinra that he fucked Izaya. Shizuo slammed the door behind him as he called their old friend.

* * *

Shinra yawned as he checked his clock when the cell phone next to him buzzed loudly. It was passed 4a.m. He groaned and half-wondered sleepily if one of Shiki's subordinate had goofed up royally tonight and was in need of stitching again.

When he checked his phone, he was just a bit surprised to see that his caller was his friend, Heiwajima Shizuo.

"Hulloo?" Shinra mumbled groggily as he rubbed his eyes. Shizuo should be lucky that Shinra was used to getting calls in middle of the night as his job required him.

"Hey Shinra, err… I have a problem," Shizuo started. Shinra nodded his head as he was slowly falling asleep again.

"Uh huh. So what is it this time… more bullets? Tasers? Or did someone buy a bazooka and knocked you on the ground with collapsed building walls?"

"That's not funny Shinra," Shinra heard through the speakers as he yawned and got up to get dressed, thinking that Shizuo was so badly hurt, he couldn't even walk over to his place. "It's not me this time. Err… I have someone here who's probably very drugged up."

"Drugs?" Shinra sat back down on his bed. His specialty wasn't poison control here. "What kind?"

"Extacy or aphrodisiacs possibly," Shizuo whispered, half embarrassed to say it out loud though he was in his living room. When he heard only silence on the other land, Shizuo remembered Izaya calling him names thinking he didn't know what they were, so he quickly added, "Look, I'm not stupid. I'm a debt collector for the dating website and I meet tons of sleazy druggies who gravel in the dirt…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa- Shizuo calm down. I was just making a mental list of all the possible 'drugs' that she could have taken, that's all." Shinra said. Then after that pause, he frowned.

"I… hope you're not taking advantage of this situation, Shizuo. I'd be very disappointed."

Shizuo's heart froze.

"Wh… what are you talking about."

"Well, if she's been laced with aphrodisiacs or MDMA, I would think she'd be all over you and wanting a quick f-"

"Ah, wait. Y…. you got it all wrong, he's a guy!" Shizuo blurted, trying to save his own skin, though he still felt a huge stab of guilt considering he still fucked Izaya anyway.

"Well, it doesn't matter. If you're taking advantage of this  _guy_  then…"

"SHINRA!" Shizuo shouted in exasperation.

Shinra chuckled lightly into the phone to show that he was just joking.

"An… anyways, what should I do?" Shizuo asked, his heart pounding so loudly, he was afraid Shinra could hear him through the phone even if it was highly unlikely.

"Well, I'll be right there in a minute so keep him hydrated and…"

"Wait! Don't come!" Shizuo barked, startling Shinra from the loud shout.

"Ah, sorry I didn't mean to yell…" Shizuo quickly apologized as he tried to cover up his nervousness. If only that dammed doctor hadn't unintentionally guilt-tripped him…

"Is it that much of a sensitive of an issue?" Shinra frowned. Normally Shizuo had no problem bringing patients that he beat up to his place.

"Yeah…" Shizuo went along with that excuse for now.

Shinra plopped back to bed. Well, this was easier if he didn't have to make a trip over to Shizuo's place.

"Well, tell me his symptoms so I can narrow down what kind of drug he might have taken."

Shizuo fidgeted uncomfortably, "Err… well he's sweating a lot…"

"Okay, fever," Shinra noted.

"And… he's kinda shivering. He can't walk prop…" Shizuo stopped. Wait, maybe Izaya couldn't walk properly not because of the drug but because he was fucked senseless. His cheeks began to burn.

"Okay, so he's disoriented? Is he in pain?"

Shizuo nodded. Then he realized that he was on the phone so Shinra probably couldn't see him nod. Damn technology. "Er yeah, I think so."

"Any dizzy spells?"

"I think so too."

"Did he puke?"

"Ah, no. At least not yet."

"Did he say he was thirsty? Or hungry? Any abnormal apetite?"

Shizuo thought to himself 'well appetite for sex but…' instead he answered, "He didn't say he wanted anything but I think he might have been thirsty."

"Why do you think that?"

"His… lips looked dry?"

"Is that a question, Shizuo?" Shinra sounded a bit bemused.

"Well, his lips did look dry. Hey, don't read into it!"

Shinra chuckled through the receiver. "Alright then, more to the sensitive topic. Is he horny?"

"…" Shizuo thought about it. It should be fine to tell him right? He did need a proper diagnosis…. "I… think so…"

"Hmm…" Shinra thought about it. "Since he's not puking and it doesn't sound like he's in a super bad condition, so it's probably a normal dosage. If it's MDMA, it'll dehydrate the user so make sure he has plenty of liquid in his system.

"Oh also, sweating is good for the patient so let him sweat. Sweat cools down the body after all. Maybe a cool shower would help too afterwards. Cleanliness always makes one feel good. And one other thing," Shinra carried on. Shizuo did note a naughty tone on that last statement though.

"Speaking of sweating, if he really did take aphrodisiacs, let him masturbate. It should relieve the stress and tension. If you want, you can give him a hand." Shinra was soooo happy he was not anywhere near Shizuo right now as he delivered his joke.

There was a loud sound of something being crunched and snapped into two. A table perhaps.

"I was joking Shizuo, geez take it easy," Shinra chuckled blithely into his cell phone.

"That reminds me of Izaya," Shinra remembered his friend. "I hope he's doing better."

"I… Izaya?" Shizuo sounded genuinely startled.

"Yeah, you went to the hospital with Celty right? She told me. Mostly because she was shocked to see you actually look like you cared for him. I'm surprised to hear that too. Since you already know of it, might as well let you know. It seems he partied too hard last time. I thought he would know better than to play so roughly to the point he'd get hurt."

There was silence on the other side of the phone. Shinra wondered if he got Shizuo even more angry. Not wanting to see the infamous legendary man at his doorstep this morning with a sign pole to beat him senseless, Shinra quickly added, "Ah, sorry about switching the topic. You said you had a friend who took some party drugs so I just was…"

"… go on," Shizuo said quietly on the other end.

"… eh?"

"I said go on. What happened to the louse?"

Shinra blinked in surprise. Then again, Celty did mention that Shizuo did look genuinely worried. So he added, "Well I don't know the details either. But he played roughly enough to have his rectums torn pretty badly. It's been a week now so I'm sure he's alright. It should only take 4-5 days to fully recover… but I was just hoping that just because he's fine doesn't mean he should go out and play just as roughly. It's very bad to aggravate the wound ya know?"

"Aggravate?"

Shinra didn't notice the hint of dread in Shizuo's voice. "Well yes. The wound may be closed up but it's still in healing process. Aggravating any wound is always a bad idea Izaya shouldn't be partying hard right now, but knowing him, who knows wha-"

"Wait, wait. Go back to that. What happens if you aggravate it?"

"Huh? Well… like any wound it'll flare up? It'll need to be cooled down properly for sure."

"I… see…"

"Shizuo?"

"I… I got to go. I think he needs my help."

Shinra smirked. That was fine with Shinra, as long as Shizuo wasn't threatening to kill him. Shinra did find it impressive that he had mentioned about Izaya and it looked like Shizuo wasn't planning to break down his door within the hour to pummel his face. (Not that he did go that far but he usually at least threatens to do so)

Before saying goodbye, Shinra couldn't help but fight against his fate however. "Ah Shizuo, remember that handjobs and blowjobs are just as good for patients who-"

There was a loud crunching sound of a cellphone shattering before the call was dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'd be very impressed with the anon who could figure out the irony of 4a.m. pfff…


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's note: Return of the Side-stories! Once again, this has nothing to do with the main plot, it's just like an extra side-story for your reading pleasure if you ship this pair… though to be honest, it's still more about shizaya than shinracelty lol… One of the readers asked me to write a Shinra x Celty fic and well~ it's one of the few ways I can write Mikado in the fill OTL. I wish I can introduce Mikado more often coz I really like him. The fic's storyline is kinda tight and I can't fit in characters except through references. Kinda like how Chikage and Akane were referenced earlier (like the taser and how Shizuo brought someone over that he beat up) But once again, enough about me, and more about this fic. Enjoy._

* * *

**Lovey-Dovey Prattles of an Underground Doctor Part XXX**

Good morning Celty~ Or is it good evening? It seems you didn't sleep at all and… what's this? You've been chatting all night? CELTY How _could_  you cheat on me! Ouch , ouch, ouch, it hurts, it hurts!

Huh? "I just lost track of time, there's nothing going on between me and Tanaka-Taro-san"? Ah of course Celty, I believe in you. I may believe in nothing in this world but I will believe in your words! But I'm still sad that you spent your sweet sleeping hours to talk with someone other than me!

Oh, why am I up so early? Well Shizuo had called and… oh yes, yes, he's fine. He called about his friend who seemed to have some interesting drug addiction problems. It's rare to see Shizuo actually care about someone so it is kinda curious and intriguing. I wonder if that 'friend' who's staying over is his boss? That dreadlock guy I met before. Now he's someone interesting, to be able to keep Shizuo's temper always in control. Either he's a greatest beast tamer or someone just as supernatural as Shizuo's strength.

Speaking of which, Shizuo was acting kind of weird. Ah, Celty, you've been sitting out here, weren't you getting cold? Let me give you a hug that would warm up your body and- it hurts, it hurts, ouch, ouch!

Eh? You want me to keep going about Shizuo? Seriously Celty, I do not doubt your love for me but I do get jealous if you talk about another ma- ouch ouch ouch, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

Okay, yes. I'm sure you and Shizuo are just good friends. Yes. Though I admit I still get jealous when- it hurts it hurts!

So how was Shizuo different? Hmm… well I thought about Izaya, kind of in tangent since last time you said he looked concerned over him so I brought him up while we were having a conversation and he didn't get angry.

No seriously! I was surprised too!

"Maybe they're making up finally." ? Oh I don't know about that. Their relationship is pretty deeply rooted, considering they tried to kill each other the moment I introduced them to each other…

Oh? I didn't tell you that I was the one who introduced them? Well, I was. I knew Shizuo in elementary school and I knew Izaya unfortunately through my middle school due to a certain mishap and…

Wait, no, no, no. You got it all wrong. It's really not my fault that they tried to kill each other! No seriously. You know how Izaya is, when he wants something he chases after it with everything. He's a creature who's honest about his desires just as Shizuo is a creature honest with his emotions… Well, in this case he made Shizuo chase after him, but…

"Do you think they'll ever make up?" Hahaha, Celty, you know I really don't care if they make up or not as long as they leave me out of their lives so you and I can have a peaceful life. Oh I don't mind non-peaceful life if it's filled with star-crossed love that explodes galaxies and- it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, ouch!

Well they've already ruined my high school life, so I just hope they don't ruin my adult life as we grow older. But if you must continue this line of thought, I do believe that there is a thin line between hate and love. After all, if one hates the other, it means they care enough to be just that passionate and think about that person day and night. They hate each other enough to go out of their daily normal routine, and humans are built on routines that keep them in their comfort zone. And trust me, they definitely have a deep bond, a hatred that runs to the core of their soul, that all of Ikebukuro could split in half as they fight. Well it sure nearly did several times.

Eh? "I don't think Izaya and Shizuo are like that. Actually the thought of them being in 'love' is kind of sickening. Don't fantasize about Shizuo in such a dirty and disgraceful manner."? CELTY! I only fantasize about YOU in-OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, IT HURTS, aaaaah~ not the shadow armlock, aaah, cough, cough, you're choking meeee…

Cough. Okay well, maybe I phrased it wrong. But Celty, just like you and me, in the end love does conquer all. I can't say that their hatred will turn into love one day since I'm no prophet, and neither is Izaya no matter what you think Celty, but I must say that the bond Izaya and Shizuo shares is quite 'out of this world.'

Ah, no no. I didn't mean that they are like aliens! Ahahaha, Celty you're so cute when you're sca-it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

Anyways, in the end, if my unrequited love for you that everyone thought was impossible became possible after years of my hard work, I am a firm believer that love can and does conquer all. And hatred can be a twisted form of love too you know? Speaking of deep bonds and love, I wouldn't lose to Shizuo or Izaya when it comes to how deep my love is for you Celty. They may share some passionate bond that can destroy this very city but believe me, my love for you is as infinite as the number pi π, and surpasses any earth shaking disasters that may befall on this land. I'll never let go of your shadows even if they're intangible mists that fades between my fingers and I'll embrace forever in my all encompassing…

… Celty, are you okay? You haven't hit me yet, and as much as I don't like being hit or am I a masochist, though I adore you all the same when you do hit me, but when you're not acting normal I get worried about you…

… Celty, is your… shadow turning pink?

* * *

_-End of Side Stories_

* * *

"Shit," Shizuo said as he looked at his smashed cell phone that turned into a ball of plastic. There goes yet another phone due to his inability to control his anger. And he was doing so well lately.

He sighed, a bit disappointed with himself. He'll get Shinra to pay for it.

Shizuo groaned as he sat back on his couch and thought. Now he knew the reason why Izaya was so feverish. And once again it was his fault. But how was he to know that Izaya's 'wound' should not be aggravated? Especially since Izaya was begging him to fuck him.

Well, he'll have to make up for it, by somehow helping the louse cool down. Shizuo strutted to his kitchen to get a glass of water and walked back to the bed room.

When he opened the door to his bedroom, he saw that Izaya was back curled up on his bed, sleeping. He placed the glass of water on the nightstand and sat on the bed, looking at Izaya closely now. His breath was harsh and dry, his lips were parched and he was sweating a lot. Shizuo was reminded of broken Izaya in the hospital, pale and limp. It was an image Shizuo hated to remember as it brought him another wave of guilt that seized his heart. He was in no shape to walk home and Shizuo felt even more shame in remembering how Izaya tried to force himself to leave earlier.

"Hey, get up flea." Shizuo shook the smaller man gently. Izaya opened one lazy eye and then closed it. Unlike that time at the hospital, the blonde decided he couldn't leave him alone uncared. Not this time.

Shizuo helped Izaya up and propped him against the pillow. Izaya groaned as he kept his eyes semi-closed. The blonde handed him the glass of water and watched Izaya's shaky hands reach out for it. Shizuo had a feeling that the weakened man will drop the glass as he placed the cup in between those hands. And sure enough, it started to slip through Izaya's feeble grip, but Shizuo caught it before it spilled too much.

Holding Izaya's limp body close, Shizuo got him to lean on him. Shizuo noted how Izaya's forehead was burning hot when it touched his shoulder. While balancing the half-conscious man, Shizuo took a gulp of water and placed the glass back down. He tipped the chin upwards towards him with his finger as he guided those parched lips toward him.

Izaya shivered as he opened his mouth and gladly took in the cool liquid that moistened his throat. Shizuo's tongue flickered in a bit, licking at Izaya's hot one softly as the water flowed down. Izaya licked back weakly but surely, thirsty for more. Shizuo sucked on Izaya's lips lightly to moisten them before he pulled away to get another gulp of water.

Shizuo once again poured the cool drink into Izaya's arid mouth that sucked up the water like desolate sands in the scorching desert. Izaya was just a bit more awake for his second gulp as he leaned forward for more, his tongue lapping it up greedily as it also licked back at Shizuo's soft tongue. Izaya only yielded when Shizuo sucked on him back, hesitant at first as he was still afraid of hurting him, yet as tenderly as he could.

By the time Shizuo had finished giving water to Izaya, both were just a bit out of breath.

Shizuo hesitantly licked Izaya's now moist lips, watching the still semi-unconscious man quiver under his caress. Shizuo's heart was in turmoil, no, more like a hurricane as he watched his 'mortal enemy' in his arms. Within this past week and a half, this man who he felt nothing but sheer hatred turned into a man who gave him so many mixed emotions, Shizuo couldn't even decipher what these emotions were. It wasn't just anger anymore. It was a strange type of longing and jealousy, a tight squeezing of his heart that ached as he wanted to see this man smile. Not one of those sneering ones but smile genuinely. Almost like the ones he showed that night six years ago.

It was strange. Shizuo was worried that he had felt nothing but lust after this man when he saw the DVD, which in itself was worrisome since he didn't want to be a lustful beast, but now he wanted to just hold this frail body and shield him from harm as he remembered him laying there alone in that hospital bed. He still remembered the faces of those uncaring nurses, remembered that sad regretful smile on the young Izaya's lips the night before their graduation and that ringing shout he gave earlier as he cried,  _'It's too late!'_

Shizuo picked up Izaya who lay in his arms listlessly. He looked like a doll in that disheveled maid outfit, his limbs limp and his body so light. Shizuo didn't like it. He didn't like it at all at how weightless and fragile this man felt in his arms. He should be a man full of energy, a man who never succumbed to the monstrous strength that Shizuo had, and a man who for years Shizuo was unable to harm.

Shizuo carefully took the crumpled man to his bathroom, kicking the door open and laying him in the bathtub as gently as possible. Izaya slumped over as Shizuo turned on the water to lukewarm and cool. Shizuo sat next to him as the tub was too small for both of them to lie; he brought Izaya closer to the edge towards him so he can unzip the maid outfit from the back. (Shizuo had noticed the zipper when he picked him up from the bed)

As the water started to fill in, Shizuo cautiously stripped Izaya of the maid uniform, pulling it under him. He took the half wet clothes and dropped it in the laundry basket just outside the door. When he came back, he gulped at the sight of seeing unconscious Izaya in partial sexy black lingerie that clung to him thanks to the water that was filling up the tub slowly. Shizuo cursed at his groin for stirring him, feeling shame as his face reddened at thinking dirty thoughts when the man was suffering.

He came back to sit back down next to Izaya, who had slumped to the edge of the tub now, his head laying on top of his arm, sleeping. Shizuo scooped up some water to wipe his sweaty cheeks still covered in streaks of residual of earlier cum. Carefully Shizuo washed Izaya's burning face, trying to cool him down as his hand tenderly wiped his cheek and forehead. Izaya moaned lightly as he leaned into the gentle touch.

Shizuo's thumb wiped the corner of Izaya's eye to wash away the dried tears. He smiled sadly as he spoke to the unconscious man. "I'm not gonna lie and say I've not thought of having sex with you, no thanks to that damn DVD, but I must say, my first time having sex with you properly turned out to be quite a mess. I kinda wanted my first time whether it was you or not, to be…" Shizuo searched for the word, "…more romantic I guess. Sharing love between two people. Hell, it's not like I was saving myself for marriage or anything but…"

Shizuo looked at the unmoving man who was still comatose from fever. "… but I didn't want to hurt my partner you know?" Shizuo wiped the other eye.

"Did it… hurt?" Shizuo whispered, half afraid that he would wake up Izaya and his words were heard. He half wanted him to hear it, yet half scared to have his heart out in the open.

"Man… I can't believe my first sex was a threesome…" Shizuo laughed weakly as he poured the cool water on Izaya's back now. Izaya again shivered but seemed asleep.

"I… never got to tell you what I wanted to tell you, huh… you kinda took away my chance," Shizuo grimaced as he could hear Izaya's words from his memory.

_"This black carpet of darkness, don't you wish to dye it with the color of your soul? And how brightly will we shine, Shizu-chan? Don't you wonder at all if we can shine greater than the moon or the sun above us?_

_As you graduate from school and now the society pushes you into this cruel reality of this world, what color then, would you color yourself in this darkness everyone calls as 'Ikebukuro', Shizu-chan?"_

"Hey Izaya…" Shizuo whispered as he continued to scoop up the cool water and pour it back onto Izaya's body, washing away the sweat and cum. Their situation was so comical… here was Izaya in a sexy black lingerie, knocked out cold. And Shizuo wasn't trying to kill him nor was he trying to rape him. It was unnatural. Surreal. People would laugh at them if someone had told them that Shizuo didn't take advantage of this situation. Right?

Instead here he was, Heiwajima Shizuo, trying to wash away Izaya's deep scar that never healed. It was a funny scene, he was sure, as Shizuo weakly laughed at his pitiful self. He wished someone would laugh and make this scene 'funny' as his heart felt crushed under the pressure of guilt.

"If only we could…. turn back time to that day…," Shizuo swallowed that huge ball that had lodged in his throat, "… I wish I could have answered you properly. Is it really too late Izaya?"

Izaya didn't answer as he continued to shiver unconsciously and feverishly in the half-filled bathtub.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note
> 
> 4am Hint - Check chapter 5. XD


	21. Chapter 21

Izaya stirred, startling Shizuo as he paused from pouring cool water on his back.

"… cold…." Izaya muttered his eyes still closed. In fact his brows squeezed together into a small frown just a little bit as he quivered.

Shizuo let out a small sigh as he smiled weakly. He turned the facet so a bit warmer water poured out. Izaya moaned lightly, as he felt something warm approach him. His arms stretched out, reaching out in a child-like manner and grabbed onto Shizuo's neck when he leaned over to turn the facet.

Shizuo was pulled under gently, though awkwardly as he tried to balance himself without falling head first into the tub. Shizuo's heart pounded loudly in his ears as he wasn't sure if Izaya had heard him or he was acting instinctively to grab anything warm.

"I… don't think we can both fit in, Izaya," Shizuo whispered as his lips brushed his ear. Izaya's weakened grip loosened and Shizuo quickly grabbed him before he sunk into the water.

"Geez you're a handful." Shizuo wasn't sure if this was Izaya's new way of trolling him or…

Shizuo picked up Izaya as he stepped into the tub. It really was a tight squeeze and it wasn't possible for two grown men to be in it, but Shizuo managed somehow, as he placed Izaya on top of him and his legs outside of the tub in an awkward fashion. As he stepped in and sat at the corner end, the water gushed and flowed out of the tub. Shizuo tried to submerge Izaya as far as he could without drowning him. He did stop shivering once the tepid water and Shizuo's body temperature warmed him up.

Shizuo took a handful of shampoo and started to gently massage Izaya's scalp, gathering the suds and lathering his silky hair.

* * *

Izaya's head felt fuzzy as his wits muddled in the haziness of the fever. He was burning up and yet cold at the same time. He heard gentle whispers but could not decipher them as his clouded mind remained unfocused and fatigue won over his body.

Izaya moaned when he felt the familiar cool water cleanse him from the itchiness and stickiness that clung to his skin. He reached out to grab that warmth when the cool water no longer cooled his feverish body but rather made him too cold. He leaned into that gentle hand that lathered his hair, enjoying the feel of those strong fingers massage his scalp. It tickled when the fingers brushed behind his ears and he shivered involuntarily against the hard muscular body that supported him from below.

The informant was used to being cleaned by another man while he was tired and didn't think much of it when the water poured down from his head, down to his neck and his back, washing away the dirt and the sweat. He trembled again as he could feel his body turning aroused from being conditioned over the years of having sex while being rinsed by the hands of another.

Izaya leaned forward, seeking for a pair of lips he could kiss, finding it easily as he sucked on them. His hands did not have much strength but he clung to those sturdy shoulders, pushing himself a bit to grind their lower regions together. Izaya heard a low moan, and his clouded mind could not figure out if it was his or his partner's.

The tired man could feel his erection rub against the other's, the friction a welcoming sensation even though his body was sore. A hesitant hand twirled around Izaya's erection before encircling it in his palm and pumped him gently. This time, Izaya did know it was him who was moaning for more.

Izaya shuddered when he felt feathery kisses around his neck, unused to the soft gentleness of any lips on him, as the lithe tongue licked him tenderly. Izaya winced only once when he was lifted and a teeth grazed his nipple before a warm mouth covered it, sucking on his bud that hardened under such delicate care.

Wishing to give back, Izaya held onto both of his partner's cheeks and sought his sweet lips. His mouth was filled with cigarette-flavored scent as he relished in the feel of the smooth tongue that gently consumed him.

When they finally pulled away, Izaya grabbed onto the hand that was pumping him and guided him toward his hole that was begging for attention. He flinched and arched as a finger probed inside, filling him with water as it entered.

Shivering, Izaya called out his name out of habit, used to moaning out the name of his partner.

_"Shiki-san…"_

The finger that delved inside him stopped and Izaya wiggled his hips impatiently.

 _"Shiki-san… don't stop,"_  Izaya begged.

The finger moved in again waveringly, unsure of itself. Izaya squeezed down on it, moving his hips to coax it to go in deeper. Izaya was very unused to having Shiki be so gentle and careful with him.

_"Shiki-san… I want… your cock,"_

There was another pause before a small voice told him no.

 _"So cruel…. You were always unfair, Shiki-san. And all I ever wanted was you,"_ Izaya said, his words which were repeated so many times when Shiki had teased him that he now said them out of routine.

But the finger did continue to massage him not taking too long to reach his prostate. It rubbed against him just as the other hand continued to pump his swollen cock. Izaya's hazy mind did think something was unnatural but did not complain against such a tender care that Shiki had never shown him before. His body was used to the cigarette flavored kisses and the warm water that cleansed him as he was being fucked, although usually roughly, and though he was still only partially awake, his body knew how to enjoy the practiced ritual.

_"Aah… Shiki-san, th… that feels good…_

_Don't stop… please don't…_

_…. right… there… aaah…. Aaaah!_

_Shiki-san…_

_Shiki-san…_

_Shiki-san…_

_I'm… I'm gonna…!"_

It didn't take long for Izaya to climax under such saccharine administration. After cumming in several sweet squirts Izaya promptly fell asleep into a deep luscious slumber.

* * *

Shizuo woke up to the lights shining through his blinds and an empty bed. That wasn't very unusual but he jerked himself up when he realized that Izaya wasn't there anymore.

Strange sense of loss filled his heart as he looked at the empty space next to him. There was still kitty ears on the floor and a lone maid head gear crumpled near the pillow that told him that the last night did happen.

Shizuo never slept next to anyone after he moved in to his apartment and lived alone. He should be used to waking up daily in his bed by himself but his arms still felt the warm body heat of that other man and his chest tightened as he remembered those weak hands cling to his shoulders with desperate need.

The blond groaned with a light headache and got up to get to work. It looked like he over slept a bit and he didn't have his phone to call Tom-san that he would be late.

When he opened the door to his living room, his nostril was flooded with the smell of breakfast; burnt toasts, and scrambled eggs. Slightly apprehensive and yet with a tint of hope, Shizuo rushed to his kitchen.

Sure enough, there was Izaya, wearing his white shirt that was long enough to cover his bums barely… and nothing else. Or at least it seemed like it was nothing else.

The raven haired young man turned around from the stove with his spatula and smirked, "Good morning Shizu-chan. Sorry I borrowed your shirt. Shiki-san was kind enough to drop me off here with just the maid outfit and only one pair of under garments which are both a bit too wet for me to wear right now," then Izaya went back to his eggs, which were actually over-easy, not scrambled.

Shizuo looked genuinely confused as he sat on his chair in front of his small table. He couldn't help but keep staring at Izaya's bums and those lean bare legs. Izaya had rolled up the sleeves because they were too long. The dress shirt that fit Shizuo perfectly looked about two sizes too large on Izaya as it swished around the edges at the bottom, almost like a dress. The itchy question was burning in his mind and Shizuo couldn't help but blurt out after a long observation of how Izaya's butt kept distracting him, "Izaya… are you wearing anything under that?"

"Alas, your boxers don't fit me, Shizu-chan. Looks like you got wider hips or something. They keep slipping off. And none of your belts have holes where I need them to even borrow your pants," Izaya shrugged, as he remained focused on his eggs. He plopped two slices of butter covered bread on the side to grill them on the pan as well.

"Unless you want me to wear that thong, Shizu-chan?" Izaya leered as he glanced back.

Izaya raised an eyebrow when he noticed that Shizuo wasn't looking at him but seemed to be very pre-occupied with something in the living room. He didn't notice the debt collector's faintly blushing ears.

Izaya shrugged as he placed the two sandwiches on a plate and carried them to the table. He walked back to the fridge to get a large carton of milk to pour two glasses.

"Shizu-chan, you really need to stock up on your food supplies. There's practically nothing here decent enough for any meal. I had to scramble around to find anything. And geez, your eggs are like 3 days before they expire. I prefer my breakfast to be traditional style with miso soup and… Shizu-chan, are you listening to me?"

Shizuo stared speechless at Izaya. When Izaya snapped a finger at his direction, Shizuo came out of his trance. "Err.. yeah."

"Well, whatever. Eat up," Izaya said as he bit into his sandwich. He licked at the yellow driblets of the yoke as they dripped down the side of his toast.

Shizuo slowly picked up his sandwich and still stared at it in disbelief.

"It's not poisoned," Izaya frowned when he noticed that Shizuo wasn't taking his first bite.

"Ah, that's not it," Shizuo paused, not know what else to say. Instead he took a mouthful of the egg and toast sandwich gratefully.

"Mmfm… 'ish good," Shizuo said with a mouthful.

Izaya shrugged nonchalantly, "Of course. I made it after all."

Shizuo's temper did flare up at the comment, but he let that slide for now as he ate quietly.

However the silence was deafeningly as they ate without a conversation. Shizuo, being Shizuo who lacked tact, couldn't help but ask, "Er… so Izaya."

"Yeah?" Izaya bit into his half-eaten breakfast hungrily.

"Do you… remember last night?"

"Of course. You raped me," Izaya drank his milk as he replied casually, as if the topic was as mundane as the weather outside. There was an awkward silence on Shizuo's part. Izaya's face didn't show any glee but he smirked inwardly to see Shizuo fidget uncomfortably in guilt. Good, he deserved that.

"Be grateful I even made you breakfast Shizu-chan. Speaking of which, you still haven't thanked me," Izaya retorted as he went back to biting into his egg sandwich. "Not that I expect one from you."

"Err… thanks for the breakfast," Shizuo quickly added and Izaya took the compliment apathetically.

"But, Izaya… don't you remember anything… else?" Shizuo couldn't help but wonder if Izaya had heard him last night or remembered anything in the bathtub. Though it embarrassed him to ask, he needed to know.

"I don't remember anything else," Izaya shrugged and watched Shizuo's face fall. Izaya enjoyed hurting this man.

"Oh, wait. I do," Izaya added in after-thought. Shizuo looked back up all hopeful.

"You tried to kick me out. I guess I should thank you for letting a poor ravished maiden sleep on your bed so he doesn't get raped as soon as he stepped out the door by goodness knows what other rapist wolves out there. I hope the egg sandwich is a good 'thank-you-for-raping-me-and-letting-me-s

leep-next-to-my-rapist.' Why of course I'm  _very_  grateful," Izaya delivered the stab and twisted it inside Shizuo's heart with a perfectly serene smile.

Izaya practically reveled when he saw Shizuo's guilt-stricken face stare at him speechlessly.

Shizuo stammered a reply, "Wait, so… you don't remember me calling Shinra?"

"Did you? I hope you didn't bring him over. All things considered, I'd rather keep this embarrassing event to our selves."

"You're the one who told me NOT to have him over!"

Izaya shrugged. He sort of remembered but sort of didn't. Last night was a blur for him. Either way, he enjoyed goading this hateful man more than he cared about what really happened last night. Shizuo's buttons were really easy to push, and Izaya enjoyed making this man hate him even more. After all, that was the basis of their relationship for many, many years now.

"Don't remember."

"Why you little fucking flea! I took care of you last night!"

"Oh you sure did alright. I remember being fucked senseless at least."

"Not that kind of 'take care of' you fucking flea!"

"Oh Shizu-chan.  _You_. Taking care of  _me_? What else could it be other than violent beatings and chasing me out of Ikebukuro? Oh right, let's add option three to that list,  _rape._ "

There was a distinct sound of crunch as Shizuo's hands crushed the edges of the table as he tried his best to keep his temper in check.

Just then, the door bell rang to interrupt both their conversation.


	22. Chapter 22

Shizuo and Izaya stared down at each other in simmering anger for a minute longer. The door bell rang hesitantly for the second time.

"Coming," Shizuo said as he got up to open the door, grouchy at the interruption.

He froze when he opened the door.

Izaya wasn't interested at Shizuo's new guest and went back to his breakfast until he heard Shizuo's stammering voice utter nervously, "Ah…. Tom-san. I… I'm really sorry. My phone broke so I couldn't call you…."

Izaya leaned over to peek at Shizuo curiously. From this angle he could see the side of Shizuo's face. The once-gleeful informant, who was reveling at the fact that he had Shizuo under his control as he made him lose his temper within minutes, felt his heart grow cold at the sight.

Shizuo, who was split-second away from turning into the legendary violent creature of Ikebukuro, was already perfectly neutralized, his face calm with a hint of an embarrassed smile.

It was a genuine smile that Izaya had never seen before.

Izaya's jaw dropped. Well, he did know about Tom-san's reputation. After all, anyone who stood next to Shizuo and never gotten hurt by him was a miracle in itself. And to do so for years was another miracle within a miracle. But to actually see that  _his_  carefully manipulated Shizuo's mass-destructive temper pacified so easily within seconds was another story. Izaya's ego was crushed.

The thing that vexed Izaya the most however, was that it was easy to make Shizuo angry. Anyone in Ikebukuro, hell even foreigners from other countries could make Shizuo angry.

But to flip that destructive anger in matter of seconds, that was a power Izaya did not possess over Shizuo. And it grated Izaya even more since he knew he never will. As Izaya had once said, the power to control and predict the other person's next move, either by making the other person angry, sad or happy…. was one of Izaya's theory in reaching godhood. And Izaya admitted, to pacify Shizuo's anger was a greater feat than making him angry. It wasn't something Izaya could fix easily now either.

Hatred was integral part of their only bond that they shared. And Izaya refused to break it.

Izaya got up scowling, as he walked over.

"Don't worry about it. Are you feeling sick? You don't look too good," Tom was telling his kouhai. He had acute observation skills, the main reason why he survived through all of Shizuo's violenent temper. Already he could tell that Shizuo was still in his bed clothes, and his hair was unkempt. Tom could see that Shizuo was sweating with cold sweat now too. Granted, Tom was a guy with a warm heart and was genuinely worried over his kouhai. He wasn't observing Shizuo only for the sake of his own safety.

Shizuo chuckled warmly, half embarrassed. "Ah, no. I'm fine really. I'll get ready in a minute…."

Just then, Izaya stepped up, coming right in between Shizuo and his boss.

Shizuo blinked.

Tom gawked.

Izaya was wearing nothing but Shizuo's over-sized shirt and…. it didn't look like he was wearing any pants either. And those red hickeys were brutally obvious as they were all over Izaya's pale neck and down near his creamy-skinned chest before the 3rd button hid the rest of the marks on that petite body.

"Hello! This is our first time introducing each other isn't it? Tanaka Tom-san I presume?" Izaya extended his hand. "Orihara Izaya. I've seen you with Shizu-chan right before he spots me and chases me out of Ikebukuro. You can blame your little subordinate for my lack of courtesy and simply could not introduce myself to you." Izaya's eloquent tongue did all the talking as he took Tom's confused hand and shook it.

Then to Tom's another shock, Izaya linked his arms around Shizuo's waist like… a lover.

"Now I'd like to request a pre-paid vacation for Shizu-chan for one day. He really is feeling under the weather and I'm sure you know how he's _very_  bad at lying. He and I have unfinished businesses to attend to …  _in bed._ " Izaya delivered that last word with extra force, laced with hints.

Tom and Shizuo were both gawking at Izaya's performance. Izaya simply smiled like a little devil who just got a young child to sign a contract to sell his soul.

"Now then, if you'll excuse us~"

And Izaya shut the door in front of Tom.

"What the FUCK do you think you're doing! That's MY BOSS!" Shizuo shouted when his senses came to. Izaya had already unhooked his arms and was walking back to his breakfast, his cuddling lover act dropped immediately once he shut the door in front of Tom.

"Yeah, yeah. And I was nice enough to get up and introduce myself." Izaya shrugged.

"Goddammit Izaya! I took care of you last night when you were sick and  _this_  is how you repay me? By slamming the door in front of my boss and insinuating dirty-"

"Oh? You took care of me when I was sick last night? Ahahahaha" Izaya interrupted Shizuo by laughing like a maniac, leaning against the couch for support.

"Oh, that's way too funny. I guess rape is one way that's for sure. Oh wait, I was drugged and needy. I guess you took advantage of that and that makes it soooo  _consensual_  because I was under the influence and  _begging_  for sex, wasn't I?"

Shizuo stood there, his fists clenching and unclenching, trembling by his sides with so much anger, he was about to explode. Izaya continued to push his button, wanting him back to be his angry Shizuo. Izaya was back to bringing Shizuo down to hell with him. And he meant to do it.

"So tell me, did you enjoy me begging? I bet you want more huh? Don't think I didn't notice you looking at my butt and my legs. Should I spread them for you again? But please try to leave too many marks this time because I do bruise easily. Oh and by the way, I don't like being fucked by you so don't think this is any way more consensual than it was before," with that Izaya took a bold step forward, but his body stayed acutely alert to jump out of the way in case Shizuo did grow violent on him.

"How would you like to rape me this time Shizu-chan, should I put those clothes back on? Or maybe you should fuck me wearing your work clothes, and you can go wearing it to work today! My, that sounds damn kinky!"

"Dammit, louse. Don't push me!" Shizuo growled. "Like I said, it isn't like that!" He was frustrated. All Shizuo really wanted to tell him was that he had changed and that he wanted another chance. But with so much anger, he couldn't think and couldn't figure out what to say. It took all his strength to just stop himself from strangling Izaya and gagging that cursed mouth that spewed nothing but venom.

"What is it like then Shizu-chan?"

"Look! You've got it all wrong, and I'm sorry if you didn't like what I did last night but-"

"What is there to like about you Shizu-chan. I don't know a single person who likes you in Ikebukuro Shizu-chan. That man there, he only works with you because you're his co-worker isn't it? He wouldn't come visit you if-"

"Stop twisting things around! I'm not buying your lies!"

"Are they lies Shizu-chan? Or are they the truth that you are blocking because you can't face them. I'm an informant who only deals with hard-core facts. Do you think I-"  
 **  
"Dammit Izaya! Don't tell me what's right and wrong in that condescending tone of yours! This is what I _HATE_ about you!"** Shizuo yelled loudly, unable to hold back that intense anger from all fiery interrogation Izaya was spewing out and unable to let out his frustration through physical action.

But once Shizuo came to his sense, he regretted immediately as he saw Izaya stiffen up at his words and those crimson eyes growing soft for a split second before he put on his usual mask to hide his scar. This wasn't what he wanted to say. Shizuo kept thinking to himself over and over but his lips could not speak those words out. His mouth stood frozen in time as his brain screamed, 'This isn't what I wanted to tell you!'

But it was already too late.

"I'm glad the feeling is mutual, Shizu-chan," Izaya spat venomously.

Izaya lifted his shirt up and pulled it above his head. Shizuo took a sharp intake of breath as he did see that Izaya really did wear nothing under that shirt. But even before his lower region could stir, Izaya flung his shirt to the blonde's face.

"What the fuck Izaya?" Shizuo shouted as he pulled the shirt off of his head. Izaya had already stalked off to his bedroom to grab the shoes, headdress and kitty ears. Shizuo watched as Izaya yanked on the wet lingerie in the bathroom and pull on the badly-wrinkled maid outfit hastily.

"What the fuck are you doing Izaya?" Shizuo yelled again, angry with Izaya's silent treatment, thinking in his simple mind that shouting in a louder voice would make Izaya less mute.

"I'm going home. I'm obviously not needed here."

"You're going back in  _that?_ " Shizuo pointed at the ridiculous outfit.

"Why yes. I don't want to borrow your shirt anymore. It reeks with your smell anyway." Izaya huffed.

"Wait, Izaya! Listen! God dammit, will you just give me a chance to explain here?"

"I'm not interested Shizu-chan. You really should know by now, I couldn't care less about you. Oh, maybe except that I hate you back." Izaya scoffed as he walked out in his full maid outfit and slammed the door behind him.

Shizuo stared at the door for a second before rage consumed him. He grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be the couch, and threw it at the door that Izaya had left, crushing both of them out the apartment.

"Goddammit louse! Get BACK here!" but Izaya was already out of the earshot. Shizuo crumpled to the floor thinking 'FUCK I screwed up again. Damn my temper!'

And the young blonde man sobbed, pounding the floor as he continued to curse his lack of control.

* * *

Shizuo sat in his ruined living room with the last cigarette stick that burned away toward its inevitable end. He looked blankly at the wall as the ashes dropped to the floor. He wasn't really smoking it, he was just letting it burn. And he had went through that new pack of cigarette he got from the vending machine last night within few hours.

The blonde's mouth felt dry and when the last ashes fell, his mouth felt empty without that hint of bitterness. Shizuo looked down at the ashes and stepped on it as he threw away the last stub. He'll clean it later.

The young debt collector went back into the empty kitchen. He had finished crying few hours ago but another lump formed in his throat when he saw the two plates with unfinished cold egg sandwiches. Quietly, Shizuo sat back down on his chair and looked at the empty seat in front of him. He picked up his own sandwich and bit into it. The eggs were cold now, and the delicious aroma that had once filled that kitchen was no longer there. Even though the eggs were a mush, and no longer hot, Shizuo could still taste that delicious first bite he had that morning mixed with bitter tears of this afternoon.

Silently he ate all of his sandwich, suddenly feeling very famished. He even licked his fingers as the over-easy egg's yolk dripped down, more like a cold slimy ooze than the previously tasty juice. But Shizuo ate it as if it was the most delicious food he had in years.

Then he looked over at Izaya's plate. It was too much of a waste to throw it away and Shizuo just didn't have the heart to. Hesitantly, Shizuo bit into that corner that had the shape of Izaya's mouth. Slowly Shizuo finished every single bite of that sandwich as well.

"Hey louse," Shizuo said into the empty seat once he was finished.

"Thanks for the meal. You're not a bad cook. I wish I could have told you… that they were delicious."

The empty seat stayed silent.

 


	23. Chapter 23

"Masaomi is strange," the young girl giggled as she sat next to him as Kida sorted the paperwork.

"Why?" Kida was very used to Saki calling him strange but he decided to ask anyway. Her answers were always different depending on the situation after all.

"You're filing these papers by dates," Saki noted as Kida was organizing his report from last week.

"Yeah? Isn't that more orderly?"

"You should order them by importance and relevance," Saki smiled. "That's what Izaya-san likes."

Kida stiffened. That was very true. It would be what Izaya would want, to read the news with the juicy information first. As expected of one who was raised by Izaya and one of many disciples of that spiteful man, she would know Izaya's taste very well.

"Well, I'm not gonna try to figure out what he thinks is more important or relevant," Kida grumbled as he went back to his sorting.

"That's not true is it, Masaomi," Saki giggled as she leaned closer to her boyfriend. "You just don't want to delve into Izaya-san's mind and think what he would want."

Kida once again stiffened at the truth. But as usual, he covered it with a light joke. "You've got it all wrong Saki. I just don't want to make it easy for that bastard."

Normally Kida would be more flamboyant and give it his all in a flashy and gaudy manner to cover up his cowardly heart, but in front of Saki, he revealed his true color; the color he did not have the courage to show to Anri and Mikado yet. It was because Saki was such a direct person, so similar to Mikado, but unlike his best friend, Saki had been with him since the beginning, thus Kida had nothing to hide.

Saki giggled again as she leaned a bit forward to look at her boyfriend's wavering eyes, "Masaomi really hates Izaya-san huh? You're such a masochist. You hate him so much and yet you work for him and respect his intelligence."

"Intelligence? He's just good at twisting the truth with lies, Saki." Kida scoffed, though it was obvious to Namie that he was doing his best to hide what he really felt.

'He really is a masochist,' Namie thought to herself as she typed away in the computer. It wasn't like she wanted to listen, but the conversation drifted into her ears as she listened absently.

Namie did not understand why  _anyone_  would want to work for the man who had destroyed his life, ripped him away from his best friends, broke his girlfriend's body physically, and repeatedly reminded him of his painful scarred past. And he was with a girl who was raised by that hateful man, who always drove the truth into his heart like a straight arrow.

Unless he was a masochist of course. Masochist Masaomi.

"Here you go!"

Namie was brought back from her thoughts as Saki gave her the weekly report. She looked up at the girl standing before her with a perfectly even smile. It was similar to a smile of an innocent child but Namie knew that this girl was no where near 'innocent.' It was a smile that saw the truth in everything, that all-knowing smile that matched so closely with how Izaya smiled. Except Izaya's smile had a hint of cunning arrogance. Saki's smile was more closer to a smile like that of those girls in horror movies' Innocent, dangerous, charming, direct, foreboding and …

Creepy.

It was like Saki was a mirror that reflected how ugly the person was because Saki could always bring up the painful truth so bluntness and carelessly. But she had no ill intentions. After all, it was only just the truth. It was up to the receiver to decide if the truth was ugly or not.

As expected of a child brought up by Orihara Izaya.

Namie took the files and did not say anything. But that girl's smile was definitely unnerving. It was as if she wasn't judging Namie for her unusual fetishes, but rather pointing them out and asked, "What do you really think?"

How strange, the girl did not even mention about Namie's love for Seiji, but it was the first thing Namie thought of when she saw Saki's smile up close.

Masaomi truly was a masochist to have a girlfriend like this creepy one.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Saki bounced up and said, "I'll get it~" and rushed over. Kida and Namie both wondered if it was Izaya, since he was late again after being taken away yesterday. Izaya should have the keys but…. one never knows if Izaya could be brought back home again unconscious and carried by two men. Namie and Kida both got up and walked to the door curious.

When Saki opened the door, Kida dropped his paper work and Namie's jaw fell. Saki burst out into silvery laughter as Izaya in a full maid outfit walked inside his place angrily.

"What's this Izaya-san? Cosplay? Were you working at a maid café? It looks good on you!" Saki couldn't help ask, while Namie and Kida just stared in disbelief.

Izaya kicked off his mary jane shoes and threw them across the room. He glared at the trio who was staring at him, two of them dumbfounded, the third one very curious and amused, and said in a very dangerous tone, "Don't  _comment._ "

Then he stalked up the stairs to his room, closely followed by Saki who continued to ask anyway, "Ne, ne. Izaya-san. Are you gonna throw that outfit out? Can I borrow it? I wanna tease Masaomi with it."

Kida cringed at that. He did not want to have Saki wearing that and try to seduce him when he could imagine Izaya having sex in that outfit.

"No. I'm burning it." Izaya said half way up the stairs as he stomped off loudly.

"Awww, don't do that Izaya-san~ At least wear it properly once and let's take a picture~ Your stockings are loose and your zippers are undone and-"

"I already wore it properly once!" Izaya shouted as he closed the door behind him while giggling Saki trailed inside."

Kida and Namie groaned at that 'too-much-information' of realizing that Izaya had 'once' worn in properly and now 'isn't' wearing it properly.

Namie and Kida quietly back to work, they could hear Saki squealing inside the room and Izaya cursing as he changed into his regular outfit.

Though both did not say it out loud, they both thought in unison,  _'Shiki-san has a very weird kink.'_

* * *

After a lot of cursing as he took off the outfit, Izaya kicked out Saki and reminding her that she still had work to do for him. In fact he made up random work for her and Kida to do so they would all just leave him alone.

The first thing he did was shower. He hated the smell of whatever sickeningly sweet smell that was on his body right now. He didn't exactly remember Shizuo giving him a bath so he believed it was from the shirt he had borrowed.

Izaya paused as the warm water poured down on him, rinsing off the remnants of the scent of Shizuo's odor that had rubbed on him over night and the light smell of toast and eggs of that morning when he had cooked for both of them. His stomach still reminded him of that warm taste in his mouth as he bit into his own egg sandwich and watched as Shizuo ate his. He actually did manage to look grateful there. Izaya smirked. Seeing him fluster gave him such power trip over the man who could break his neck like a twig.

Izaya got out of the shower and decided to play sick. He really wanted a break from everything and he believed he deserved one. There was only so much one can handle after feeling the raw power of a monster forcing his body to move with him in such an arousing rhythem.

As Izaya's body sunk under the folds of his mattress, he could still feel those strong arms wrapping around him and those fingers tracing his carved hip bones gently. Izaya shivered as his sore body ached at those invisible touches.

Strange. Izaya had noticed that he barely had any bruises after having sex with a monster. He had expected a ton of purple marks everywhere but no, just a few red hickeys during that one time Shizuo got angry at the burned mark on his chest. But his heart throbbed and ached as if it was bruised black from unknown assaults that even Izaya, the great informant with all the knowledge and information right at his finger tips, could not figure out.

Only thing he could do was sleep, trying to comfort himself in his lonely cold bed.

* * *

"Don't worry about it," Tom said as they got out of the phone store. Shizuo murmured more words of apology as he pocked his new phone. Shizuo was grateful that his boss did not ask about what had happened yesterday. He knew he must be curious.

Tom was curious. But he had better judgment than to ask when he saw Shizuo the next day with dark circles under his eyes and had murmured quietly that he broke his phone and needed a new one. Though Shizuo had cleanly shaved and wore his clothes properly, he still looked like a mess, as if he did not have much sleep. More than curious, Tom was pretty worried.

"You know, it might be a good idea if you took today off too…" Tom said seriously, though he did take a good look at Shizuo to see how he would react to that.

Shizuo shook his head. "No. I already took a day off."

Tom nodded. Perhaps it was better to get him to work to get his mind off of things.

"Alright then. I'm gonna work you hard today," Tom patted Shizuo on the back with a light joking gesture to try to lift up his mood. Shizuo just smiled lightly as he adjusted his blue sunglasses.

"We're gonna go beat up some low-lives today huh?" Heiwajima Shizuo smiled at his senpai.

"That's the spirit," Tom beamed at him.

* * *

"Orihara-san! You really need to quit slacking off," Namie complained loudly as she knocked on the bedroom door.

"Ah, yes, yes," Izaya yawned as he got out, fully dressed but still sleepy. "Thank you mommy for waking me up." Izaya smirked inwardly as he watched hi assistant stiffen up and scowl. She quickly turned around and walked down the stairs briskly. "I just don't want you to make me work your share."

"But I'm paying you to~" Izaya whined as he walked down the stairs. It was a new day for him and sleeping finally got rid of all the fatigue and nightmares of the previous day. Kida and Saki were already down stairs and they each said good afternoon to the late arriver. Izaya waved at them and sat down on his swivel chair. He twirled around once, to see the great view of  _his_  city filled with people he loved, and then he swirled back to the front, to face his little brigade standing in front of his desk, ready to hear his orders.

Orihara Izaya smiled at the three unlikely members of his force at his disposal. He was ready to face the new day again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> dedicated to Saki, one of the most unloved characters in Durarara. She's freaking amazing in the prologue of Book 6. anni-fiesta(dot)livejournal(dot)com/43721(dot)html I do ship Izakida but I also ship canon KidaSaki because Saki truly brings out some amazing Kida angst potentials. Though I think Saki's more like a porcelain doll that Izaya nurtured, I believe Saki became more human as she interacted with Kida more. But since this isn't KidaSaki centric fic, I probably wouldn't go into that.
> 
> Meme needs more Saki love~
> 
> That being said. We're finally at chapter 100 at the meme and ch 27 on ff(dot)net. … when I started this, I never thought I'd write any fic this long. I thought this fic would end around ch 40 on the meme. boy was I ever so wrong OTL… I'm only half way into my outline. Ugh… but now the smutty scenes are over, the story's moving much faster since it's been in my head for like 2 months. Hope I can write this fic to its justice~
> 
> Thanks for everyone who's STILL reading this fic despite all the terrible grammar mistakes and etc etc etc. I'm really REALLY grateful ;_;
> 
> Thank you for reading thus far~ and let's move on to Part 3 of this monster fic. I'm in the mood to write more Shiki x Izaya smut hahaha… man I miss them.


	24. Chapter 24

Shiki flipped open his zippo and frowned when it didn't light his cigarette. He threw the lighter at his subordinate and scowled. The subordinate winced but went back to his upright position as the blood trickled down from the side of his temple.

"I thought I told you to fill the fluid after that day. Why haven't you done so already. It's been a week."

The young man murmured an apology and picked up the dragon carved zippo and quickly walked out of the room. Shiki tsk'ed as another man who was standing behind him offered his light.

Akabayashi sat across from him, amused. "So, you did plan that after all, when you purposefully lit the cigarette together with Heiwajima-san."

Shiki gave him a glare that said, 'who-do-you-think-you're-talking-to. Of-course-I-did.' Akabayashi just chuckled in response.

Just then, Shiki's phone rang. He picked it up.

"Ah, Orihara-san. How are you these days."

Akabayashi raised an eyebrow in amusement but didn't say anything. He sat back and enjoyed hearing the one side of the conversation.

"I must thank you for the previous day, Shiki-san. It was… quite special," Izaya said with a strained voice. Shiki chuckled, "It was my pleasure." Izaya cringed at that.

"It was an impressive feat, picking me up as soon as I healed. I barely had time to even come up with a proper plan to retaliate from your _business traction_  from a week ago. And you sent me off for another one of your negotiations. How cruel of you Shiki-san, I barely got any rest."

"Orihara-san, it sounds like you're doing fine from the sound of things. At least your tongue seems to have no problem running. I hope you have used it to for a good cause two nights ago." Izaya grimaced at such a smooth banter from Shiki.

"I must properly  _thank you_  for that time, Shiki-san."

"Ah, like I've said. There's no need."

"Oh I  _insist._ "

"Orihara-san. I'm a busy man. So I will have to end this call shor-"

The door to his room burst open as Izaya entered with a kick. He was wearing his long coat most impressively as it trailed behind him elegantly as it caught the slightest of wind.

His sour expression immediately changed into a charming fake smile as he bowed gracefully.

"Greetings gentleman. I apologize for such a short notice-"

"You mean,  _lack_ of notice."

"-but I just did not want to keep my most welcomed customers waiting for me." Izaya said as he sauntered in without an appointment as if he owned the place. Izaya slammed his foot right between Shiki's stretched out legs and leaned in, his cat-like eyes glinting playfully.

"Did you miss me, Shiki-san? I sure have missed you."

Shiki glared up at those slit ruby eyes with his usual calm but stern face. Izaya almost tsk'ed. No matter what kind of flamboyant performance he did, this man never seemed to be moved. Except that one time he stole a kiss from him in the shower room that is.

The red head with a scar however was howling with laughter as he slapped his leg with his hand.

"Shiki no danna. Orihara-san doesn't  _seek_  your audience but rather demands it , it seems."

Izaya looked back once haughtily at Akabayashi, his eyes conveying that he was indeed taking whatever he wants as if he truly was the master of this place. Then he reverted his focus back to the man in the white suit with a thin scar on the side of his forehead who looked back at him half-bored. Izaya's eyes narrowed as he smirked. Whatever he was thinking, Shiki didn't like it so he scowled back.

Izaya straightened up and spread his arms out and twirled, his coat dancing with him. Then he put one hand on his hip, fully aware that it accented his slender frame underneath that long coat of his.

"I'm sure you know exactly why I'm here, Shiki-san," Izaya purred.

Shiki shrugged. "I thought better of you, Orihara-san. Revenge is such a petty thing for someone who works in your business."

Izaya shook his head. "Revenge? Ahahaha… Ah, Shiki-san. Of course I'm not here for such a petty thing. Not from you at least." Izaya smiled.

Shiki did not look impressed.

Izaya shrugged. No matter. He surveyed the room now, looking to his right and then looking to his left in the most exaggerated manner as if he was here for the first time. The office room was furnished with the least amount of furniture, three black couches, a table in the middle and an empty desk at the back. Though it was a 'gallery', there were no paintings on the bare walls. Instead there were some cargo boxes with inexplicable materials inside, ready for shipment. Everything was set up so they could just leave everything behind and run if this sham of a gallery was caught under police investigation.

Izaya tapped his lips with his finger and tsk'ed as he studied each of Shiki's subordinate.

"Ah! Found him. That's him, isn't it?" Izaya said as he pointed at one of the men in the back. The man flinched but stood his ground.

"What about him," Shiki asked with a bored tone.

"He's the one you ordered to fuck me Shiki-san. How cold of you. I barely got to see his face since I couldn't turn my face around. " Izaya pouted 'cutely,' though it didn't seem to have much effect on the stiff man at all. Though Shiki used his droll façade in front of customers, he didn't feel particular need to do so in front of Izaya at the moment.

"Again, Orihara-san. What about him that is of your interest?"

Izaya hmph'ed. "I demand at least a similar treatment to be served. It's only fair, Shiki-san."

The men around the room scowled and tried to look menacing, angry that this man was taking such a demanding tone with their boss. But Izaya did not look intimidated and Akabayashi was still chuckling at the scene as if it was the funniest live slapstick comedy he was seeing.

"And… exactly what does 'similar treatment' entail? Surely you're not planning to get your own cock dirty," Shiki asked coolly, though there was a light smirk in the corner of his lips. The subordinate in question squirmed uncomfortably in the back.

"Oh no, I'm fairly certain he would enjoy it if someone rammed something in his ass. So I'd rather go with something much simpler," Izaya smiled like a little child who found a gigantic ant hill to stomp on.

"I propose to cleanse his dirty little cock that dared to defile me, by simple circumcision."

"WHAT?" there was a yell behind Shiki which he ignored as he pondered.

"Shiki no danna, you aren't going to go through with it, are you?" the underling was trembling with half anger and half fear.

Shiki simply shrugged. "Alright, it's a deal. Considering you didn't request it to be cut off permanently." The men looked stunned. Izaya continued on as he stood in front of Shiki and waved his hand, "I would also like to make sure to give me the proof of your promise and record everything. Oh and just record his face, I don't need to see the actual process. It'd be rather bloody and gruesome I'm sure. I'm only interested in his  _reactions_  to the procedure rather than the surgery itself."

Shiki nodded. "Fair enough." Then he turned around and ordered the two men behind him. "You two. Take him to Kishitani-sensei." The men didn't move, still in disbelief that this man who thought was just a mere  _pet_  actually could demand so much from the executive of Awakusu-kai.

"Can I ask if it could be done without any pain killers? And of course I'd like to make sure he's awake, not asleep."

"Don't push your luck, Orihara-san." Shiki said. Then he turned back and barked his orders. "Didn't you hear me? Take him. Now."

The men grabbed their unfortunate co-worker and dragged him as he feistily screamed and protested. Izaya watched on with aloof smug. After the subordinate was taken away, Izaya leaped onto Shiki's lap and snuggled.

"Shiki-san is the best!" Izaya exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around Shiki's neck and gave him a kiss on those bony cheek. Shiki frowned. Akabayashi grinned.

"You're gonna let him get whatever he wants Shiki-no-danna?" Akabayashi asked curiously. It was the question everyone in the entire room was curious of.

"If I didn't give him punishment, he would probably do something a lot worse later," Shiki scoffed as Izaya pouted. "Aww, don't say that. I don't actually  _kill_  humans. I just like to watch them  _evolve_  and what better ways to make humans evolve except through trauma, pain and suffering? It's not like I didn't know before that he had hots for me and he's been begging you to give a piece of me to him and such. I know you just wanted to get rid of his complaints and all but really Shiki-san, that was quite cruel of you. You could have at  _least_  asked Akabayashi-san to take me from the back instead of some lackey. Don't you love me?"

Izaya spread his legs across the long couch as he sat in Shiki's lap. The coat acted like a dress as Izaya clung to the yakuza executive like a hostess out to kill some clients. Izaya purred as he wrapped himself around Shiki like a pet.

But before Shiki could say anything, Akabayashi smirked and replied, "Sorry Orihara-san. You're not my type."

Izaya rolled his eyes as he turned to the man with the sunglasses as he scornfully bantered back, "Oh of course, how could I have forgotten. You have two kittens of your own. How are Akane-chan and Sonohara-san lately? I'm quite sure they warm your bed at n-"

Izaya was interrupted by the whoosh of the wind that sailed right besides his head, the cane impaling the wall behind him. Izaya just smirked smugly, his red orbs glittering with mockery, knowing that he had hit a nerve. Izaya did not even blink an eye, since he was fairly used to predicting the angles of projectiles thrown at him thanks to Shizu-chan. Shiki also remained emotionless, unfazed by the agitated aura of his comrade before him. Everyone else in the room felt a sudden chill run down their spine.

Akabayashi's head was bent down when he threw the cane. He slowly raised his head, a vicious grin decorating his face as his sunglasses reflected back the lights sharply.

"Orihara-san. I suggest that you leave Akane-chan and Anri-chan out of this."

Izaya simply pouted and shrugged, unconcerned with the venomous aura directed at him. Instead he focused his attention on Shiki as he fingered those thin cheekbones.

"Shiki-san, couldn't you have at least given me a nice crimson china dress or a traditional Japanese kimono? The 5,000,000yen range ones. I mean seriously, a maid outfit? I'm not a kid you know," Izaya cooed as he wrapped his arm around Shiki's neck while his other free hand caressed the yakuza member's thin cheekbones. He curled himself against the man in the white suit snugly.

"Actually, the maid outfit was Akabayashi-san's idea," Shiki smirked with amusement as he called out on his partner-in-crime.

"Well you were the one who picked out the lingerie," Akabayashi retorted back. Shiki just snorted and rolled his eyes, "I at least have a sense of taste."

"Then whose idea was the cat ears?" Izaya scowled.

"His idea." They both said as the two executives of Awakusu-kai pointed at each other. Akabayashi burst out laughing while Shiki just frowned. Izaya rolled his eyes, not finding it funny at all.

Izaya sighed, "don't you boys think you two were over doing it a little? I mean seriously. Maid outfit, women's undergarment with cat ears?"

Akabayashi shrugged, "we couldn't decide what was Heiwajima-san's taste. We have zero info on the guy when it came to his dating experience," then he looked at Izaya teasingly. "I did get an interesting info that a certain classmate used to sabotage all of Heiwajima-san's chances with girls back in high school though."

Izaya just shrugged, not taking much credit. "I was young and wild. It was an interesting experiment to pass time."

"Speaking of which, you did finish your job well I hope. I expect some good results, Orihara-san," Shiki said in a mocking tone. Izaya pouted.

"Of course I did, Shiki no danna. Who do you think I am? I believe you have called me the highest performing pet of Awakusu-kai, if I'm not mistaken," Izaya's eyes almost glowed as they stared deeply into Shiki's.

Shiki sighed an insufferable sigh. It looked like he would have to approach the problem directly. "Alright Orihara-san, enough with this pointless facade. Why are you here exactly? You've gotten your small revenge but it doesn't seem like you're finished. What more did you want."

Izaya grinned wider. "Why Shiki-san, do I hear agitation in that voice? When a pet does its trick, shouldn't you give it a treat?"

"I believe the deal was that I'll let you sit in on more of my meetings," Shiki said with a flat voice. Izaya shook his head dramatically.

"Oh no. That was before you sent me off to another negotiation. I worked over time for this one you know. I expect an  _extra_  treat,  _Shiki-san._ " Izaya clung closer, his legs overlapping as he sat in Shiki's lap no different from how a number one hostess would do with her favorite client at a cabaret.

Shiki stared at those crimson irises that looked back at him intently. He knew that look all too well. Shiki let out a short tired sigh.

"Alright boys. Out," Shiki said as he closed his eyes and waved his hand. The men around him looked confused.

"All of you. I said, 'out'. I need to be alone with him for a moment. Don't disturb us for few hours." the men hesitated but one by one they started to file out. Akabayashi still sat in front of Shiki with a grin.

"You too, Akabayashi." Shiki scowled. With a light knowing chuckle, the red haired man got up and strolled over to where his cane was impaled to the wall. After pulling it out, he hung it over his shoulders. With a smirk, Akabayashi was the last one out the door as he closed it shut behind him.

"Now then. What kind of  _treat_  are you asking for, Orihara-kun," Shiki asked, dropping the formalities. Izaya squealed as he embraced tighter, kissing Shiki's cheek once more. He got up to straddle the man properly, his long coat opening along the slit and stretched across like a dress. Izaya's lips hovered just above Shiki's own as he whispered, "I want you to fuck me like you fuck your wife, Shiki-san."

Shiki glared at those bloody red orbs that glinted with taunting mockery. A thin wry smile spread across his stern countenance as he replied back, "So you want me to finally cheat on my wife, is that it?"

Izaya licked his lips and smiled like a predatory cat staring intently at his caged prey.

 


	25. Chapter 25

Hijiribe Ruri sipped her drink through the straw thoughtfully as she carefully observed her situation. Of course anyone would feel a bit nervous when a co-worker, one whom you admired, suddenly invited you to a lunch with his family member. However Ruri was nervous for a different reason. This wasn't the first time she met Heiwajima Shizuo, the famous brother of Hanejima Yuuhei. This would be her second time.

The first time she met the legendary man in bartender suit had her sailing in the air and fall on the hard cold asphalt, in front of Hanejima Yuuhei, a famous actor from a rival company.

After several mishappenings and incidents, she transferred to work with Yuuhei. Either way, she had a real good reason to feel just a bit apprehensive about meeting Heiwajima Shizuo. Granted, the man could not have recognized her now that she wasn't wearing a greenish zombie costume. It had been a long time since she took the name "Hollywood" and left behind massacred trails of dead bodies.

However, that was all in the past.

Right now, her situation could be considered more dangerous than when she was dressed up as 'Hollywood' and being chased down by Awakusu-kai assassins.

They were in the middle of a Chinese restaurant, filled with loud, boisterous immigrants getting their taste of home. Heiwajima Kasuka brought them here saying that the food here was good. And it was close by. The food was good, Ruri admitted. She admired her co-worker who owned five brand cars but preferred good home-made meals rather than taking out his brother to a five-star restaurant who served food that would be considered as 'over-priced piece of meat.' Perhaps he did this for his brother who would feel a bit out of place, but Ruri was pretty sure that wasn't the case. The infamous Heiwajima Kasuka, more known by his actor name Hanejima Yuuhei, was a man who mixed and matched designer clothing such as Dolce & Gabbana with accessories from one hundred yen store. And amazingly enough, he wore them well.

The main problem wasn't the restaurant itself but rather themselves. They were Hanejima Yuuhei and Hirijibe Ruri, the most famous actor in Japan with one of the top charting idol singer of Japan. If people knew that they were here, the entire mob would be trapping them in a corner for autographs, not to mention take pictures of them 'dating' for more scandals. Even if Ruri had supernatural strength, she couldn't use it to help them escape since her image was 'frail and fragile.'

The worst part of it all was that an even more fearsome supernatural being was with them, the hurricane called Heiwajima Shizuo. If the mob did any little thing to make this man angry, this whole place would be torn apart by a force that would put a tornado to shame.

It was like a natural disaster just waiting to happen.

So Hirijibe Ruri helpless watched with anxiety, hoping desperately that their hats and sunglasses made them somehow inconspicuous, though she was pretty sure that it just made it all the worst. Hats and large sunglasses while eating large bowls of noodle soup that fogged your vision just screamed suspicious.

"Aniki, I'm glad you're doing well," Kasuka said with a flat tone. If no one knew him, one would think he meant it coldly with possibly anger or irritation. But both Ruri and Shizuo knew that he meant it simply without any ill intent. Kasuka just was a man who revealed little or no emotion, ironic considering he was an actor, and considered one of the most highly successful one at that.

"Kasuka," Shizuo nodded in recognition to his greeting as he ate his noodles. Ruri noted that they didn't need many words to get their message across to one another. They must be pretty close. Ruri was a bit glad that when she was introduced, the man in the bartender outfit did not recognize her, though she did find it disappointing that he didn't even recognize the famous pop star's name, 'Hijiribe Ruri.' She had worked hard to become this famous. But to Shizuo, she was a regular girl that his younger brother had introduced and did not seem to be up to date with names of popular idols. In sense, the fact that Ruri was his brother's friend and possibly potential girlfriend seemed to hold more value to him, which only impressed her even more. It spoke volumes about this legendary man that everyone feared.

"This place is pretty good," the blond noted as he chewed. True, it really was very good. It seemed Kasuka had a tongue for finding nice places to eat without being bias over the inner décor or high reputation by upper class.

Kasuka nodded as he ate slowly. "They hand-pull the noodles here. And the broth is good." That was an understatement. The broth was beyond delicious and the noodles were stringy and chewy, perfectly absorbing the broth and keeping it locked-in. They all sipped and ate the hot and savory noodle soup as the conversation went on.

"So how have you been aniki. It seems something is disturbing you," Kasuka said with a robotic face and just as monotonous voice. Shizuo didn't seem to find it upsetting. In fact he looked more surprise that Kasuka read him like a book.

It wasn't hard, Ruri thought to herself. Heiwajima Shizuo was the complete opposite of his brother. His emotions were clearly painted on his face. All of them.

Ruri watched as the man before him changed his expression from stunned, surprised, perturbed, embarrassed and then a 'feigned' laugh to hide it in matter of seconds. Ruri realized how Yuuhei learned to act so 'naturally' when his own true self lacked so much facial emotions. With a brother like Shizuo around him all the time, he must have picked up a lot. This older man made no effort to hide his emotions; even the smallest trace was clearly visible on his face. Yuuhei just had a natural teacher while he was growing up.

Another thing that impressed Ruri was that she could not even begin to guess what expression Shizuo would show her next. He changed constantly, displaying each emotion so clearly. He went through his emotions faster than a fangirl switching ships on the latest trends to keep up with the ever-changing Tokyo city fashions. She found it interesting that she can't guess his next expression at all despite the fact that he expressed them so obviously.

"Well… there is this one thing that is bothering me…" Shizuo started as he played with his food. Not only was his facial expression expressive, his entire body motion spoke loudly.

"I have this _friend_ … I'm worried about. He kind of has this… relationship problem."

Ruri half spit out her noodles into the bowl. She apologized saying the soup was too hot but seriously, that was the lamest and the worst possible way to start. She carefully ate her noodles as she listened.

"Anyway, this 'friend' of mine is err… how should I put it, he's not gay or anything! At least, he doesn't think he is… but he finds this guy attractive, not like he's cute or anything! He's, you know… something about him feels different and stuff…"

Kasuka nodded seriously. Ruri groaned inwardly as the story got worse and worse.

"But like they used to hate each other until recently, so it's kind of awkward to try to confess… not-not that he loves him or anything! Just that he wants to get along and be friendly and stuff."

Ruri didn't know how to even respond to this, a man who finds someone else attractive and wishes to confess but doesn't love? That made no sense. Not to mention, this was obviously about Heiwajima Shizuo himself.

She looked over at Shizuo's brother and wondered in awe again at his amazing ability to keep a straight face at this comedy. He listened attentively with a short nod each time Shizuo expressed his concern over his 'friend.' Ruri quietly found it unfortunate that their producer wasn't here to witness this scene between the two polar-opposite siblings. If they were to be put on a reality show together, it would gain a million viewers. Seriously, no script was necessary.

Kasuka replied with a straight and serious face, "Aniki. I think this friend should be honest with himself. If he believes his feelings are true then he should confess."

"But I am being honest!" Shizuo cried out. Then realizing his mistake, he quickly tried to cover it up, "I mean, I am telling you the truth that he err… is trying. Hard."

Kasuka nodded. "So is this what's been bothering you? Your friend?"

"Well… there's another one…" Shizuo thought deeply. Ruri could see the frustration written all over his face.

"I have uh… another friend… err… she's a 'girl'," he emphasized. Ruri moaned inwardly. This was going to somehow get even worse.

"And… well, we've been fighting for a long time so… now that I'm trying to err… make up with her, it's awkward and stuff…"

Ruri gawked. How was this  _any_ different from the previous? No, seriously. Even if he couldn't hide his facial expressions, he could have at least come up with a better lie! But no, the feared legendary man of Ikebukuro was one of the worst liars in the world as his words indicated his honesty far better than his face or his fabricated lies.

"I…I don't love her or anything like that! I just… want us to get along again. I screwed up a lot so…" Shizuo sighed with deep dejection.

Ruri didn't know the whole situation but he pitied the man. It looked like he really regretted this.

"Aniki," Kasuka said quietly after awhile. Shizuo looked up at him.

"I respect you very much. I think it's very unusual of you not to be straight forward with yourself."

Ouch… that must have stung. Ruri looked over at the debt collector and sure enough, he looked like he was stabbed with a large nail driven to his heart.

"I believe in the aniki that tries hard and never gives up. I believe that if you gave it your all, you'll not regret it like you do right now," Kasuka continued with a flat voice that sounded apathetic. But everyone knew that he was speaking from his heart with all the emotion he had. Though he spoke with a deadpan voice, it was because he was so serious, there was no room for thinking of his words as joking or half-hearted cliché lines.

"But no matter what decision you make, I'll stand by you always."

Silence washed over their small table in the midst of the loud noise around them. After about 30 different emotions displayed on the man's face, Shizuo finally settled on a proud smile and said, "Thanks Kasuka."

The rest of the talk moved on from daily life of Heiwajima Shizuo as he beat up the debtors who tried to swindle their ways out of paying and some of the more exciting parts of sending the ruffians and robbers into the air. To which Ruri almost winced but listened anyway.

* * *

After the meal was over, Kasuka wanted to pay but Shizuo insisted that he pay for the meal. It did not matter that Kasuka made millions or billions more. Shizuo was the older brother and he will not allow his younger brother to treat him.

Besides, Shizuo said. He could never forgive himself if he did not treat a lovely lady friend that Kasuka had introduced to him for the first time.

Hearing such a flattering compliment coming from the man who could not lie, Ruri found herself blushing fiercely.

As they were saying good-byes, Kasuka spoke up.

"Aniki. About your problem and your friend's problem, I might have a solution."

Shizuo stood still and listened , obviously very interested.

"I think it's easier to get to know each other or even forgive one another over a good meal. If anything, you two could talk about how good the food is if it gets too awkward."

A slow smile formed on Shizuo's lips as he placed an unlit cigarette between his lips.

"Thanks Kasuka," he said as he waved good bye and adjusted his blue sunglasses.

Ruri watched as the force worse than the mother nature's anger walked away peacefully, leaving the small restaurant still intact.

"I think I'm jealous Yuuhei-san," Ruri finally spoke as they turned to walk back to their studio together.

"Of…?" Yuuhei asked, though his voice didn't indicate much of the question in his flat voice. However Ruri knew better.

"Your brother can read you so well. I guess it's because you two grew up together but it seemed like he knew your inner thoughts sometimes too as well as being able to pick up all your tiny changes in your expression." Ruri said with a resigned sigh. Several times she could not read her co-worker who spoke with a permanent deadpan face. She could never truly tell if he was angry, happy or sad.

"I admire both of you," Ruri sighed. The Heiwajima brothers were humans yes, but they were also worse than a monster like her in some sense. It put her 'monster' side to shame. She was only part monster, with supernatural powers and fast healing and she had tried so hard to become a complete monster all her life. However, after meeting these two, she realized that her goal was so silly.

Here were two monsters who desperately tried to become humans. One who could not express his emotions, while the other tried his very best not to hurt anyone. Both Heiwajima brothers were trying so hard to find a place in this world, while Ruri was selfishly trying to become a monster instead of human. Even with a part of dullahan's monster blood in her, she was far more human than these two. Her tribulations and sufferings felt microscopic in comparison like a teenager ranting to a man dying from a terminal disease about her amount of homework she had to suffer through every day.

Truly, meeting these two were an eye-opening experience for her.

"That's not true," Yuuhei said as he faced the streets. Ruri walked besides him, looking over at the famous actor curiously.

"I admire you more Ruri-san." Yuuhei looked down and their eyes locked. Ruri couldn't help but look away from those serious eyes.

"Oh, don't be silly," she said, even though Ruri knew that Kasuka was a man who didn't know how to joke. "What is it about me that you could even admire?"

"You're the only one who can make my heart beat fast. I've never met anyone like that before," Kasuka said with a straight face.

Ruri gawked for a whole second before she closed her mouth shut.

"Yu… Yuuhei-san, I think we're gonna be late, our lunch break was a bit long. Le… let's hurry back," and Ruri walked on ahead, her whole face flushed in crimson cherry color. She knew better then to argue with him since she knew too well that Hanejima Yuuhei never lied just like his brother.

Kasuka walked leisurely behind her, his mood thoughtful. However, he still believed in his words. It was unfortunate that he didn't get to tell her that other than his brother, she was the only other person who seemed to understand him, all the way down to the minute changes in his heart.

Well no matter. Kasuka believed he had plenty of time in the future to explain it to her gently.

 


	26. Chapter 26

After splitting up with his younger brother and his lady friend, Heiwajima Shizuo spent all day thinking of how to invite Izaya to dinner.

"'Izaya, do you want to have dinner with me?' … no that's no good. How about 'Izaya, come to dinner with me.' hmmm… no that's too forceful…. Maybe… 'Izaya, want a bite to eat?' … no never mind, can't use that either…"

His mumblings were not audible enough for Tom to understand but Tom was happy to note that Shizuo looked a lot better after his lunch with his brother. Shizuo was particularly close with his younger brother so Tom was glad that his spirits were lifted. The dreadlock man did not mind that his bodyguard was distracted today.

Finally giving up, Shizuo asked Tom, "Umm… Tom-san… how would you… invite someone to dinner?"

Tom blinked but quickly recovered. So Shizuo was planning to invite someone for dinner?

"Who's the lucky girl?" Tom said with a light jest.

Seeing Shizuo frown darkly, Tom decided that was a wrong move.

"N… never mind. So where are you taking her?" Tom switched the topic immediately.

"… I haven't thought of that." Shizuo admitted. Tom always knew that his kouhai was a poor planner but…

"Well, do you know what she likes to eat? Italian? French? Traditional Japanese…?"

"Hmm… I remember something about traditional Japanese for breakfast…" Shizuo could not say that all he saw Izaya eat was home made bento or school cafeteria bread in high school. He really had no idea what Izaya liked since he had never cared before.

Tom gave it a thought. "Alright, and are you treating her? What budget are you looking for? How far are you willing to travel? Are you planning to look for a place to eat in Ikebukuro only or other places as well?"

Hearing all these planning that went with simply asking someone out to dinner, Shizuo's shoulders drooped. He had no idea it was this complicated.

* * *

By the end of the day, Shizuo had more questions than answers. He had a whole list of restaurants Tom recommended, but Shizuo had never gone to any of them so he couldn't even say if he himself would like the food there. And what was worst, he still did not know how to ask Izaya to dinner.

Shizuo's face flushed at the thought of doing this embarrassing act. Asking Izaya out to dinner? It was almost like a date!

Groaning, he decided to go buy himself dinner for now at the convenience store and worry about this dinner business with Izaya later when… a thought occur to him. Next to the convenience store was a grocery store. And there was a large sale going for a hotpot pots. The season was slowly turning to fall so there were few women busily grabbing a new pot for the upcoming winter.

Shizuo remembered that day when Shinra and Celty had invited everyone they knew for a small party. Everyone loved the food and people who didn't know each other got along well. He remembered that the food was delicious and not too hard to make, since all one had to do was dump the sauce, vegetables and meat into the boiling water.

The blond hesitated towards the grocery store, with each step becoming more confident.

40 minutes later, armed with a new black pot and several packs of meat, vegetables and a bottle of sauce, Shizuo started to walk back to Shinjuku. He decided he would just not bother with asking Izaya for dinner. He planned to just invite himself in.

Shizuo growled when he reached Izaya's apartment. After ringing the doorbell several times, Shizuo realized the louse wasn't home. The man knew how to screw up his plans even by not being there! Izaya could be pretending to be not home but Shizuo really felt no presence behind the door.

Grumbling he sat down next to the door to wait. But Shizuo was an impatient man and it was Friday night. The louse could be having dinner already.

With a sigh Shizuo swallowed his pride. He took out his cell phone and texted to his friend, [Celty. Do you have Izaya's number?]

* * *

Izaya gripped on the bed sheets and gasped when Shiki lifted both of his legs above his shoulders and slid inside him again. True to his word, Shiki caressed Izaya like he would with his wife, gentle yet still in control, in missionary position. It was the first time Shiki took Izaya in this position.

The informant was overwhelmed with tenderness as he was constantly filled with either orgasm or afterglow. After Shiki came, he would continue to stroke Izaya and keep him wet and warm until he was ready for another round. It did not help that Shiki knew all his soft spots and pleasure points, delivering them all at once. Izaya could feel that hard hand run down his supple thigh while the other hand thumbed his pink bud. Their hot moist mouth joined again for another kiss. Izaya couldn't even count how many times they've kissed, definitely more than he had ever received in years put together.

"S… Shiki-san…" Izaya moaned as Shiki started to move inside him again. It was tantalizingly slow, carefully aiming to brush against his prostate with each thrust. The informant was kept in perpetual state of bliss for so long, he lost track of time.

"Kiss me again?" Izaya parted his lips for more and Shiki complied. After their deep kiss, Izaya couldn't hold back anymore.

"So, is that how you kiss your wife, Shiki-san?" Izaya asked for the 10th time or so during their sex. His eyes twinkled teasingly. Shiki sighed aggravated.

"Orihara-kun. I believe we have agreed that I'll fuck you only if you'll shut up the entire time. It's already taxing to imagine your stick-like body to be like my wife's in the first place, adding your voice only shatters what flimsy illusion I can muster."

"Awww, I'm hurt, Shiki-san… I bet you don't say  _that_  to your wife," Izaya pouted playfully. Shiki gritted his teeth and forced himself not to punch that smirk off Izaya's face.

Shiki pulled out almost roughly, making Izaya wince. "Turn over," Shiki commanded.

"Kinky~ Taking me from the back? I thought you said you don't do anything kinky with your wife, Shiki-san."

"Well, sometimes  _I do_. Now turn over."

Izaya shrugged and did so. Once again he was filled with Shiki's hard cock driving him further up. He moaned as the delicious heat engulfed him.

Just then Izaya's phone rang in his jacket pocket. The jacket was still on the bed, within reach so Izaya weakly grabbed at it with curiosity.

Before the informant could pull it out and open it, Shiki grabbed his wrist and stopped him. Izaya frowned, "What if it's an important client's call Shiki-san?"

"Well, you're my  _wife_  right now, and to her no one is more important than  _me_ ," he scoffed. Izaya smirked.

"My, so possessive and controlling. I guess I need to like that in my man if I'm your wife right now and you're my dear husband huh?"

Shiki tossed the jacket and it fell roughly on the floor. The force of the fall flipped open the cell phone as it fell out of the pocket.

"And as my  _wife_ , I expect you to be obedient and shut up," Shiki said as he thrust hard and leaned forward to graze the back of Izaya's ear tip with his teeth. Izaya shivered at the sensation and moaned loudly.

* * *

Shizuo grumbled impatiently as Izaya did not pick up his phone. After several rings, Izaya finally picked up.

"Finally," Shizuo grumbled. But then he realized he wasn't sure what he should tell the louse. How could Shizuo say that he was outside the flea's apartment waiting for a hotpot dinner?

Shizuo cursed inwardly for acting without thinking. Hanging up on Izaya right now would make him look like the loser. He had to think of something to say! But what could he…

Even before Shizuo could say anything, he started to hear noise in the background of the phone. Shizuo kept quiet, waiting to hear Izaya's voice first before he could come up with a good excuse to have called the louse in the first place.

However, what he heard made Shizuo's heart freeze in shock.

_"Shi… Shiki-san… nngh…. I want it harder…"_

_"I thought you wanted me to go gently?"_

Shizuo knew that voice. It chilled him to hear that grey-tinted tone with a faint hint of amusement.

The blond stopped himself before he crushed his phone. However his hand shook as the voices continued to filter through his receiver.

_"Shiki-san… I… I'm gonna…"_

Shizuo quickly turned off the phone. He stared across the small hallway dumbfounded. There was no way he heard that. It was too impossible. How could the phone have turned on in the middle of…?

Was this more of Izaya's tricks?

The debt collector quickly shifted through his recent calls. Even though this was a new phone, the memories from his previous phone transferred. His list of contacts were simple, it was just Tom, Kasuka and Celty. When he looked through his list of phone calls that came to him there were just three. Since Celty only sent him text, there were only three callers; Tom, Kasuka and… that unknown caller.

His fingers trembled as Shizuo looked at the number.

He shouldn't do this.

He shouldn't call.

However, his finger presses [send] and returned that phone number of that fateful day, only a few days more than a week ago.

* * *

"….haa…. aaangh…." Izaya scrunched up the sheets in front of him, his burning cheeks trying to cool against it. Burying his head on the side of his arm, Izaya lifted up his hips for more. He was so close… so close to another…

Shiki's phone rang.

Izaya cursed as Shiki pulled out.

"Shiki-san!" Izaya protested in rage.

Shiki gave him a thin smirk and placed a finger on his lips to silence him.

"Yeah, yeah I know. Your wife wouldn't give a damn complaint and will wait patiently until you're done with your fucking call," Izaya grumbled as he fell back onto the bed. He groaned. He was so close! His body still burned, desiring for his release and all he could think of was how cruel Shiki was to him.

Shiki looked at his phone and smirked at the caller. He brought the phone to his ear and simply said, "This is Shiki."

Izaya pouted as he continued to think in his head how he would make sure Shiki would pay for this too. He then got a brilliant idea.

The informant sat up to climb into Shiki's lap and mewled. Izaya purposefully breathed harshly as he suckled on Shiki's chin, making a lot of slurping nose to insure that whoever was on the phone would hear him.

Shiki only smirked as he wrapped his free arm around Izaya's waist.

"Ah, yes. It has been awhile. How have you been lately?"

Izaya couldn't hear the response but right now the informant was more bent on getting his ways with Shiki, rather than trying to find out who the caller was. It was probably one of his many business partners. Izaya nibbled on Shiki's ear tip and giggled when the yakuza executive hissed.

"My deepest apologies, I have a pet here who's still in training. Speaking of which, how did you like the deal? Are you accepting?"

The informant giggled as he decided to play rougher. Wrapping his arms around Shiki's shoulders, Izaya lowered his body, impaling himself with that hot luscious cock that sheared his inside.

Izaya did not hold back his moan.

“ _I don’t give a damn about your deal._ ”   
  
Shiki smirked though he was getting harder to keep his breath even. No matter, it was alright for Heiwajima Shizuo to hear him a bit out of breath.   
  
“I see you’ve marked him. Used goods are not well received when you make a return, you know.”  
  
Shiki grunted when Izaya specifically slammed himself down hard deeply. The informant gasped out loud as the executive’s cock rammed into his prostate. Izaya winced at his own antic, perhaps he shouldn’t be too into this. However, he couldn’t help himself as he continued to bounce even harder, trying to get a rise out of Shiki, challenging him to drop the call and pay attention to him and him only.   
  
“Shiki-san…” Izaya breathed as he leaned in for a kiss. Their lips lock and their tongue mingled. The informant was half surprised that Shiki complied but greedily took his chance.  
  
After several slurping noises that Izaya was fairly sure that the caller had heard, Shiki pulled away to speak again.   
  
“Yes, Orihara-san is here. Do you wish to speak with him?”  
  
Izaya froze in the midst of his particular sharp thrust when Shiki handed him the phone.  
  
“Here. It’s for you.”  
  
Izaya frowned as he took the phone call.   
  
“Hello?”  
  
There was no sound on the other end.   
  
“Who’s thi—“  
  
The informant gasped as Shiki pushed him down on the bed and shoved his cock into him. Izaya moaned into the phone as his head was backed against the pillows.   
  
“Nnngh…!! Shi.. Shiki-san, not so hard…. aaah…!!” Izaya half wondered if he should moan louder to upset Shiki’s business caller, but it did unnerve him to know that it might be someone who knew him. Did this work to his advantage? If anything it seemed to work to Shiki’s advantage to let the caller know that they were in the middle of passionate love making.   
  
Shiki’s thrusts grew harder as he drove himself deeper. Izaya’s breath was short as he tried to form a sentence without the moaning.  
  
“Who is… this?” Izaya tried again, biting his lips to stop himself from moaning though a small mewling sound escaped him. The informant was so close to saying screw the phone call and just have Shiki pound him senseless to his orgasm when the caller finally spoke.  
  
“Is this… Izaya?”  
  
Izaya froze. That voice, it couldn’t be…  
  
“Shizu-ch… aaaah!!!”   
  
A particularly strong thrust sent Izaya backward as his vision grew white briefly. His climax was so close, the pleasure so intense, Izaya’s brain could hardly focus. But, he needed to. Especially if this was Shizu-chan on the other line but Shiki continued to pummel into him with a smirk as he leaned forward to kiss him on the lips.   
  
Unable to talk, Izaya couldn’t do anything as Shiki’s mouth closed on his. With his brain fuddled with euphoria, he heard Shizuo’s hesitant voice continue.  
  
“It’s… Izaya isn’t it. I … take it you’re with… him.”  
  
“Mmngh…” was the only response Izaya could give as Shiki’s tongue forced open his mouth and caressed him. Izaya was light-headed with all the sensual touches as he tried to concentrate and listen to the phone.  
  
“… Izaya?”   
  
The informant cursed in his head as he knew that Shizuo was probably hearing nothing but slurping noises of their kissing. Dammit! This wasn’t what he had planned! He wanted to mess with Shiki’s agenda, not his own! Izaya pushed Shiki away to gasp for breath.  
  
“Shit….” Izaya grimaced when Shiki finally pulled away. Why was Shizu-chan …?  
  
“Shizu-chan? What do you want?!” Izaya grimaced at his forced voice. That came out a bit too harshly since he was trying to mask his own lust. Izaya’s staggering breath was just a bit too obvious as he tried to gasp for air.  
  
There was only silence on the other end.

"Shizu…chan?" Izaya asked one more time, not sure how to carry this conversation or if he should just drop it. At this point, it was as if all his cards, including his aces, were forced down on the table faced-up. This was one of the most humiliating situations Izaya ever experienced, showing one of his weak sides to his greatest enemy.

With Shiki pounding into his prostate, there wasn't much Izaya could do or think of any witty banter. All he could do was bite his lips and try to ride it out. Gritting his teeth, Izaya fought back his moans, doing his best to try to breathe through his nose instead of his mouth as Shiki licked his ear. Izaya cringed, conflicted between the arousal he felt from Shiki delivering him with sensual kisses he had always longed for and at the same time hating him for the teasing while he was on the phone with the one man whom he did not want to ever show his weak side to.

"Shi…ki-san… I'm… trying to…" the informant whimpered a complaint when Shiki's hand wrapped around his swollen cock and pumped it. Izaya's breath came out stutters as he tried not to moan in appreciation. He cringed again as Shiki's long fingers wrapped around him and stroked him in just the spots that Izaya loved. Izaya cursed at his mixed blessing of having Shiki know all of his pleasure spots.

Izaya closed his eyes as his brain was swimming with dizzying euphoria as he was nearing his climax. He gave up as Shiki's mouth covered his and slammed harder into him. Izaya reluctantly submitted as the yakuza's tongue swirled and took control. The intense stimulation was too much for Izaya to handle despite his dire situation.

"Mmnngh…!" Letting go of everything, Izaya moaned into the delicious kiss as his body arched and stiffened with orgasm rupturing through his body. His walls tightened around Shiki's cock as he too climaxed deep inside him, filling him with his hot load.

By the time Izaya came back to his senses, the sound of the long beeping dial tone indicated that the other end had hung up. He sighed deeply, his heart heavy with emotions he couldn't quite decipher yet.

* * *

Shizuo hung up when he heard Izaya moan which he was quite sure was from his release.

It took a lot of strength not to crush his new phone.

It took even more strength to control his supernatural strength and his equally short temper.

However the emotion that overcame his intense anger or violence right now was the pain.

The overwhelming pain that clutched his heart with sharp talons and pierced it until it bled.

It disturbed Shizuo even more to realize that he couldn't hang up on Izaya in the middle. He knew what was going on but he just couldn't bring himself to end it. The blond had pressed the phone close to his ear, catching all of Izaya's panting and moaning. He caught every single breath Izaya panted. He could even hear the sound of what he believed was Izaya's heart beat, frantically beating as it came closer and closer to his release.

He just could not let go, captivated until Izaya had finally climaxed.

"I must be sick or something…" Shizuo sighed as he leaned back against the wall.

He felt more drained than the times he had chased the flea for 12 hours straight.

And he hated himself more as he realized that despite the pain of hearing Izaya have sex with someone else in this fucked up situation, Shizuo desired him. Even as his heart felt crushed from betrayal, he still wanted to hold Izaya.

"This makes no sense…" Shizuo thought as he closed his eyes. It wasn't as if Izaya was his to begin with, so feeling betrayed made no sense at all.

And it wasn't as if he was in love with Izaya, so wanting to hold him despite everything made no sense either.

…

…he wasn't in love with him… right?


	27. Chapter 27

Izaya moaned as he flopped on the bed, tired. That was a long love-making session. His body was tingling with the pleasant afterglow but strangely he felt unsatisfied. That phone call left a bad aftertaste even though the sex was good. In fact, it was probably the best he had ever received from Shiki despite Shizuo spoiling it. That damn brute always managed to ruin things.

'Oh well, it's just Shizu-chan,' Izaya thought to himself, trying to dismiss the thought. The phone call content was probably nothing important. However, the fact that Shizuo had called Shiki bothered him just a bit.

Shiki got up to get dressed. Izaya rolled in the bed some more while hugging a pillow. He pouted now that it was all over, Shiki was treating him coldly again. Izaya sort of missed his touches.

"That was kinda cruel Shiki-san~ handing me the phone in the middle of sex. You just wanted to gag me didn't you? Since you can't gag your wife," Izaya whined like a spoiled child. It was the basis of their relationship.

Shiki smirked back, "Ah. So you noticed." He went back to buttoning up his shirt. "I've told you many times Orihara-kun, you really need to shut up in bed and you  _might_  be considered cute."

Izaya blinked, stunned. He quickly recovered and smirked cat-like. "Oh?  _Cute?_  That's the first coming from you Shiki-san. You've never called me cute even back when I was in high school." Izaya bent down to grab his long coat that fell on the floor and draped it on his shoulders. It was getting slightly chilly without Shiki touching him.

"Because you weren't cute. And you're still not cute." Shiki started tying his necktie. Izaya scooted closer to help him fix it,  _like a good wife._

"Shiki-san, if you keep that up I might really leave you~ I might forgive you for now since you made up for it today but seriously, what you did back few days ago was pretty cruel." Izaya made a loop with the tie and started to tug at it carefully, straightening the lines.

"Tying me up is one thing and putting a dildo inside me is another, but pumping me with sex drug is over doing it, don't you think?" Izaya gave him his best pout.

When Izaya looked up at Shiki, he was confused by his puzzled expression.

"Sex drugs? Orihara-kun, you know very well that Akabayashi really disapproves of that sort of thing and Awakusu-kai don't traffic party drugs. The only thing we did was have you sniff the chloroform soaked handkerchief before we dressed you up and…" Shiki took a pause when he noticed Izaya's eyes widen in shock at hearing his words. A knowing smile slowly spread across his face.

"Orihara-kun, what's this? Are you saying… you thought we drugged you with sex drugs because you actually enjoyed yourself with …"

Izaya interrupted Shiki by grabbing a pillow and whacking him in the face with a poof!

* * *

Izaya skipped along the roads of Shinjuku. The cool night air gently patted his cheeks and his body still felt warm from the soft afterglow. It was almost like coming out of a refreshing spa.

However Izaya felt bitter inside.

A bittersweet aftertaste that lingered when one drank a sweet beverage that was spiked secretly. The tinge of poison that warmly spread throughout the body, the intoxication that came without notice.

That was how Izaya felt as he stopped his skipping and started to walk back home in his normal pace.

Izaya let out a regretful sigh.

"Shiki-san, don't take me for a fool. I know what you're thinking. And your way of saying good-bye sucks."

Izaya knew it had been way too easy when Shiki granted him his selfish request. Izaya had always asked for a gentler treatment and he never received any of it. So when Shiki did take up his 'offer,' Izaya knew something was up. Shiki was a powerful man; he didn't have to 'fall' for any of Izaya's sneaky schemes. The informant may have a lot of dirt on the executive, but it would be a useless power struggle. Izaya won't benefit anything by taking down Shiki and forcing him out of his position.

Izaya knew Shiki had no real reason to give him his 'treat,' no matter how he twisted his words into making the executive take up his offer.

Shiki didn't have to actually love him fully until Izaya was spent, overwhelmed with everything he had wanted for years, sweet kisses, frontal position, no gagging or bondage, just sensual touches and pleasure.

It only confirmed his theory when Shiki called him 'cute.'

Shiki never called him 'cute.'

Never.

What sucked the most was that Izaya fell into his own trap.

Now that he got everything he was striving for, it felt empty.

For six years he schemed, planned, teased, coaxed, seduced, and did everything he could to have Shiki-san make love to him, to have him actually break his vow with his wife. To break Shiki, the man who was forever loyal despite the rules of the dark, twisted ways of the underground world.

Once the highest mountaintop was conquered, there was nothing left for the mountain climber to achieve but to despair.

Now that one of his goal he strived to achieve over the course of six years was achieved, Izaya felt empty.

He felt lonely.

Now the sexual intercourses with Shiki-san will never be the same. It would be boring. After defeating the highest mountain, all other mountains will be a drag.

Shiki knew this. And Izaya  _knew_  Shiki knew this.

It was as if Shiki threw the good game early. While they could have played longer, the fight could have been more intense, but Shiki lost on purpose, pulling out in the middle.

That wasn't very fair.

However Shiki left him a good-bye present.

Shizu-chan.

Izaya wasn't sure why Shiki kept pushing Shizuo to his face, but he shrugged.

"I guess my next game will be with Shizu-chan," Izaya mumbled, trying to cheer up.

But Izaya's heart wasn't into it much. He felt like a girl who's first love was rejected.

Except his first love wasn't even Shiki to begin with.

'What a strange feeling…' Izaya reminisced as he walked back to his studio thoughtfully.

* * *

 _Ding_.

The elevator chimed as Izaya stepped out to his floor. He was caught surprised to see Shizuo leaning against his door, sitting on the floor as he smoked his cigarette. There seemed to be a pile of groceries next to him.

"Shizu-chan… what a… not so pleasant surprise to see you," Izaya waved his hand awkwardly. He smiled brightly however, masking his unease. This whole situation was awkward, since Izaya was pretty sure Shizuo had heard him have sex over the phone.

Shizuo continued to let the smoke seep into the air from his lit cigarette. His expression was unreadable as his eyes were hidden behind those blue sunglasses. Izaya frowned.

"If you don't mind, I would like to get inside my-"

Shizuo got up lazily without speaking. Izaya took a step back, taking out his switch blade swiftly to defend himself.

Before Izaya could even react, Shizuo grabbed one of the bags and threw it over at Izaya's head.

The informant ducked in time.

"Ha! Shizu-chan, I think y-"

As Izaya was about to tease Shizuo for missing his target, the contents in the bag explodes against the wall, covering the raven haired man with vegetables, mushrooms, cold noodles, fresh bloody meat and other various food.

"What the hell Sh-!"

Again another throw and a bottle cracked against the wall above Izaya, with brown sauce pouring down his head.

"The  _fuck_  Shizu-chan! That was danger-" Izaya shouted angrily his hoodie was covered in glass shards.

Izaya was silenced immediately by another throw. This time a large black hot pot that impaled itself against the wall right next to Izaya's head.

The informant froze. If he had moved an inch before, his head would have been sliced in two.

Staring at the hot pot for a second, Izaya then stared back at Shizuo livid with anger.

"Alright Shizu-chan. Had enough? I see you've run out of things to throw at me. Oh wait, maybe you should throw my door at me next huh? The fuck's wrong with you? What, raping me isn't enough now? Did you finally come to kill me? What the hell is-"

Izaya stopped. Shizuo was staring down at him from his spot quietly. It was unnerving.

The informant gritted his teeth and yelled, "Say something dammit!"

However Shizuo did not speak. Instead, he pocketed his hands and walked towards the elevator. Izaya watched, still trying to hold back his anger as Shizuo got in the elevator and left without a word.

"The fuck is wrong with him?" he grumbled as he shook off the glass from his ruined long coat. Now he was dripping with blood from the meat as well as the brown sauce along with all sorts of meat and vegetables.

Izaya walked over to his door and searched for his key in his pockets.

Looking down, he realized there were a lot of cigarettes on the floor.

"Damn you Shizu-chan, at least you could have cleaned up after yourse-"

Izaya paused.

There were a lot of cigarettes.

Shizuo must have waited for him for a long time.

'Then he must have called Shiki-san from my place…'

Why was Shizuo at his place?

Izaya turned around to look back.

Meat.

Noodles.

Vegetables.

…HOT POT.

A sudden realization dawned on the informant.

Shizuo had came to his place… with hot pot material.

Izaya touched his face smeared in the brown sauce. Then he took a look at his finger and sniffed it.

It was definitely the sauce for hot pots.

"Shit…" Izaya murmured.

He realized too late why Shizuo had came to his place and waited for him.

He realized too late why Shizuo had called him and later Shiki to find him.

"Fuck!" Izaya yelled angrily as rage worse than the one before burst from his chest.

Damn, he just screwed up everything!

He quickly ran down the hallway and skidded down the emergency staircase, hurriedly trying to catch up to Shizuo.

By the time he came down to the first floor, Shizuo was no where in sight.

"God dammit!" Izaya shouted in anger again, gathering attention from everyone near him. It did not help that he looked like a mess.

But he didn't care.

Izaya ran down the streets, his heart pounding in his ears as he desperately ran to catch up with Shizuo.


	28. Chapter 28

Shiki groaned as he sat back on his couch. Akabayashi handed him a glass of water before he sat back on the couch across from him.

"So, how did it go?" the red haired man asked as he sat back.

Shiki just snorted.

"The brat went home just like that? I'm impressed. I thought he would nag you some more," Akabayashi casually brought up the topic as he checked his pockets for some cigarettes. "Why did you indulge him like that anyway? I thought your plan was to get him together with Heiwajima kid?"

"This is still part of the plan, Akabayashi," Shiki sipped his water to cool his throat before setting the glass back on the table.

"Huh?" The man with the shades looked at his colleague with question marks written all over his face.

Shiki sighed. It couldn't be helped that no one, save for perhaps one informant, who truly understood his master plans.

"By giving the brat what he wants, he'll get bored with me."

Akabayashi frowned, "Are you sure? I thought if you give kids candy, they'll come back for more."

Shiki chuckled. "Maybe that'll work for Akane-chan, but not for Orihara-kun."

Akabayashi scowled at that jab.

Shiki ignored it.

The red head changed the topic, "Alright, fine. Maybe different tactics work for different people. I still don't see how this will make that Heiwajima kid actually  _want_  that brat. You had him have sex with that Orihara brat together, then tie the brat in his room… so they can enjoy each other… that much I can sort of get. But having him listen to you and the brat have sex? How will that make the two of them get together?"

Shiki smirked. He wasn't the type to gloat but with Akabayashi thoroughly confused, he didn't mind explaining to his old time friend some of his plan.

"Well, that's probably why I'm the executive handling the planning strategies, Akabayashi. I'll lay it out simply." Shiki snapped his finger.  
"First, you can't create love from nothing. You need to create it from something. Luckily for me the two of them do have an emotion that tangles them deeply together called 'hatred.' I just needed to convert it to a different emotion. It's like a rubrics cube. You keep turning it until you get the right combination."

"Convert it? To what?"

"To an emotion that's as strong as hatred and just as undeniable to one's self. First, 'lust.' I make the Heiwajima kid lust after Izaya."

"Alright… that's the DVD you sent I take it?"

"Correct. Then I change that emotion to 'jealousy,'"

"... by making yourself the brat's 'lover'?" Akabayashi tried to piece together Shiki's plan.

"That's one way. You can lust after someone you hate, that's not hard. You can't get jealous of someone you don't like though, but by making him desire him yet unable to have him to himself, the desire can change to jealousy."

"Alright. So now you got Heiwajima kid to be jealous. Then what? How can you make that into…"

"Well, it's not my job if they fall in love or not. At least the brat's off my back now." Shiki shrugged as he leaned back.

Akabayashi frowned. "How the hell did you know that you can even go this far anyway? One wrong move and that Heiwajima kid could have been pissed off with the brat whoring himself."

"Simple. He left something on Orihara-kun."

"Something?"

Shiki smirked, pleased with himself. "Remember that black mark I made on his chest?"

"How could I not. You made him scream." Akabayashi snorted.

"The kid covered it with his own love bite."

Akabayashi stared blankly at Shiki. "That's it? That's all the proof you needed to know?"

Shiki shrugged, "I could be wrong but the fact that he covered my mark with his own showed that he's become more possessive. You can't be possessive without being jealous, Akabayashi."

Akabayashi scratched his head. "Man, you're giving me a headache just from trying to decipher your plan."

Then he looked at his co-worker with a serious face, "But remember it's your job to keep a tight rein on the brat. I don't understand why you're pushing the brat away from you."

Shiki shrugged nonchalantly as he flicked his lighter and lit his cigarette. After a long drag and a short puff, he replied, "There are other ways to keep Orihara-kun close to me. Sex was just one way. Before he grew bored with it, I've already decided to use another method to keep him in check."

Akabayashi smirked back, "You can't trick me Shiki-san. You're planning something aren't you? What are you really thinking?"

"Who knows?" Shiki smiled as he took another long drag of his stick.

The cigarette brought back memories.

Memories of that day six years ago.

* * *

_-[Six years ago] -_

_Shiki got out of his black car with tinted windows. As the men made way for him, he heard a commotion._

_"Let go! I'm here to see Shiki-san!"_

_"Hey brat! You aren't allowed here just becau-"_

_Shiki waved at his men. "Let him go. I know him."_

_Immediately the men stopped their rough handling, and the high school boy ran into Shiki's arms._

_"Shiki-saaaan~" he whined, burying his face in Shiki's suit. The yakuza smelled faintly of manly cologne and gun powder._

_The young newly appointed executive of Awakusu-kai groaned. He half wished he didn't know the boy._

_"If you're here because you want me to come to your graduation ceremony, I believe I've already said-"_

_"It's not that. And I've decided I'm not going."_

_The boy refused to look up at him, still holding on to the Awakusu-kai's executive tightly._

_Shiki sighed as he looked up at nothing in particular. It was really late._

_"First, let's get inside."_

_Once they were inside, the boy clung to Shiki almost like a spoiled baby. Shiki roughly pushed him away._

_While the boy pouted as he sat in the corner of the couch, Shiki took off his suit jacket._

_"What are you doing here? I'm not interested in buying your information right now."_

_"I'm not here for that," he said._

_"Alright, what are you here for…" Shiki stared at the boy. He looked different._

_"I want a change on our negotiations," the boy said with his crimson eyes gleaming._

_'This rascal's planning something…' Shiki thought to himself._

_"What change are you thinking of?" the executive played along with him._

_"Instead of cash payment, I want something else."_

_Looking for his cigarettes, Shiki found them and lit one. The boy continued._

_"I want you to make love to me."_

_Shiki coughed harshly as the smoke entered his body in the wrong pipe._

_After several coughs with tears in the corners of his eyes, he looked up at the boy and spluttered, "What?"_

_"I said I want you to make love to me." the boy looked as if his pride was hurt having to repeat himself._

_Shiki studied him. As he thought, the boy had been crying. There were tear streaks on his cheeks._

_"Brat, don't come here for comfort after you get dumped." Shiki smirked when the boy flinched at his words._

_"Whatever. Then I'm not selling you any information."_

_"We aren't that _desperate_ , Orihara-kun." Shiki snorted._

_"Then I'll go sell information to Asuki Group." the boy looked back at Shiki with determined eyes._

_"Do you have a death wish, boy?" Shiki glared back._

_After several minutes of silent glaring contest, Shiki gave up._

_"It's not happening Orihara-kun. Not only am I not interested in you, I have a wife-"_

_"In this day and age, no one is faithful, Shiki-san," the boy waved his hand and interrupted him off-handedly._

_"Well _I am._ " Shiki hissed._

_"You aren't cheating on her. Consider it just business. Or perhaps friends with benefits. There's plenty of those around." The boy continued to prattle._

_Shiki's eyes slanted as he glared back at the slim stubborn boy who refused to budge._

_"You're not letting this go until you get what you want I take it?"_

_The young Orihara Izaya crawled on top of the Awakusu-kai executive and pushed him down on the couch._

_"I promise to show you a good time, Shiki-san."_

_"I'm not interested in a virgin," was the last thing Shiki was able to say before the teenage boy's lips shut him up with a kiss._

_Shiki puffed his cigarette as he sat on the edge of his bed. The boy finally went to sleep. His first time was probably painful, though Shiki was gentle with him to the best of his ability without showing him he cared._

_He looked over at the teenager. Shiki normally had no feelings for him. Everything was just business. In the world he lived, everyone just used each other._

_Shiki knew that the boy didn't come to him out of affection. However seeing him in pain while he gave up his virginity marked something in Shiki's cold heart._

_Seeing the boy curl up in bed and shiver, Shiki pulled up the covers and gently pet his hair._

_"Shizu-chan…" the boy murmured._

_Shiki quickly removed his hand, a bit stunned._

_A faint smile spread over his face._

_"Ah, so I'm his replacement huh, Orihara-kun." Shiki smiled almost regretfully._

_"In the end you're using me after all."_

_He was just a replacement._

_"No matter. I'll also make you my replacement… I'll tell you every day, every night when we're together, that you're nothing but a second. Never my first." Shiki shrugged off the tight feeling in his chest. He decided to crush the feeling before it bloomed._

_Everything would be strictly business from now on. Just like how it was before. And how it should be._

_Everything would go back to normal. There was no room for Shiki to have feelings for a young self-pitying teenager who was using him._

_Shiki knew the rules well._

_To use or be used._

_In the underground world, that was just how it was._

 

* * *

 

-[Back to the present]-

Shizuo sighed in front of the vending machine.

"Hey, I'm back. Sorry I keep running out of cigarettes."

The vending machine was silent as Shizuo pushed in the right amount of coins and selected his favorite brand.

There was a  _ka-chunk_  sound but nothing came out. Again.

Shizuo sighed deeper.

"Look, I don't have time for this."

The stationary vending machine of course did not reply.

"Heh, perhaps you're telling me I should quit smoking huh? I've been going through more packs of cigarettes these past few days than I go through them in a week."

His throat felt raspy. He had a headache too. Overall Shizuo felt very sick in the stomach. Nothing seemed to be going right after he received that DVD.

No, nothing was ever right ever since he's met that devil with red eyes, dark hair with devious tongue.

But it sure did feel as if lately it was worse than before.

"I think I'll give up on him. Seriously, nothing good comes from being associated with that bastard. I don't even know why I even cared to try so hard to be in good terms with him. It was just…" it hurt to admit it to himself. "… it was just sex. Like one night stand thing. Why did I even bother to invest so much emotion in this crap"

Venting to a vending machine sounded silly even to Shizuo's ears. His shoulders drooped and let out a defeated sigh.

"Look, if you don't want to give me my pack today, you can keep the money," Shizuo growled as he walked away.

Then the vending machine shook a bit and there was a soft  _thunk_  sound as if it was apologizing for being stubborn.

Shizuo turned back and was surprised to find two packs of cigarettes in the socket.

"You didn't have to go that far you know," Shizuo gently patted the machine.

"Thanks buddy."

With a slightly better mood, Shizuo walked back to his apartment.

Shizuo turned his key to his door. There was something immediately wrong with everything.

First, his door was unlocked.

Shizuo frowned. He was sure he locked the door before he left. It was more out of habit.

Thinking perhaps there was a burglar inside, he quietly walked in. If there was a filthy robber in his apartment, he was going to get some serious asskicking because Shizuo was still in a foul mood.

When he walked in, Shizuo heard running water in his bathroom.

What the fuck?

Shizuo stomped over to his bathroom and barged open the door.

"What the hell? Who ar-"

Shizuo froze.

There was Orihara Izaya, buck naked as he was lathered in soap from head to toe. He was in the middle of shampooing his hair.

"Ah, good evening Shizu-chan. Sorry I-"

Shizuo slammed the door shut as he walked out. His face was flushed red at seeing the informant nude again. He leaned against the door as his legs gave in. He sat on the floor, trying to get his mind to stop spinning.

'Fuck, I thought I already got over him! What gives?' He cursed his own frail determination. He had just said to himself he was going to give up on Izaya and here he was flustered over his naked body. Dripping wet body covered in nothing but soap.

"Man I must be really sick…" Shizuo muttered to himself.

"Shizu-chan~ Don't eat without me please~" Shizuo heard through the door.

"Wha…" Shizuo looked up to notice that there were bunch of grocery bags on his kitchen table.

Walking over, he noticed that they were several packs of meat, vegetables, noodles, and… a large newly-bought black hot pot.

Shizuo blinked in confusion. He just threw these at the louse. How could they be here?

His mind was still muddled as he looked through the plastic bags. These weren't his clearly, but he wanted to make sure. There were more packs of meat then he had originally bought. He also found a bag filled with cocktail mixers.

"Huh…" Shizuo started to put them in the fridge to cool them. Then he noticed something.

The bags and the ingredients were covered in brown sauce.

The brown sauce that Shizuo had thrown at the wall, covering Izaya with it.

"So that's why he's taking a shower…" Shizuo frowned. Why didn't that bastard just take a shower at his own place?

Then another thought dawned on him.

Shizuo's eyes widened at realization.

Izaya had bought all these still covered in meat, vegetables and sauce on him.

It must have been hell of an embarrassing moment to walk in the grocery store, gather the ingredients, stand in line while everyone stood staring right back at him.

Then to walk back from Shinjuku to Ikebukuro carrying bags and bags of groceries along with a large hot pot….

Shizuo looked over and counted 5 large grocery bags. How the hell did that small man carry all that along with a hot pot?

Shizuo could not imagine it. Izaya? That flea who was stuffed to the brim with nothing but arrogance and pride? Walking or possibly running in the streets without taking a quick shower to rinse off the mess?

Izaya probably had to hurry too, if he wanted to arrive before Shizuo.

"He probably took a cab," Shizuo snorted. He just could not imagine Izaya running around the city looking like a mess and embarrass himself.

But he did still walk in the grocery store in bright lights undaunted by the stares as he purchased all this…

While Shizuo frowned, he heard the door to the shower room open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This arc finally ends the Shikizaya part of the story and starts the Shizaya. (Yes it's quite long. I apologize. But enjoy the rest? *hearts*)


	29. Chapter 29

"Sorry I walked in and used your shower room without your permission Shizu-chan. But considering it's your fault that I'm covered in this mess, I thought you won't mind." Izaya shrugged as he walked out.

Shizuo's mouth fell at seeing Izaya wearing nothing but a towel. Strangely, the man wrapped the towel around his torso like a girl, which gave Shizuo a really nice view of his skinny wet legs.

The debt collector forced himself to close his mouth when he noticed a smirk on that devilish face. He knew that Izaya was doing this on purpose. Then he scowled when he noticed the marks on his neck.

Reddish love bites that covered his pale skin with clear possessive intentions.

It only reminded Shizuo that Izaya had sex with Shiki earlier today.

"Shizu-chan~ since you've kindly ruined the clothes I came here in, mind if I borrow your shirt again?" Izaya said as he pointed at the laundry basket with his long coat covered in pieces of vegetables, meat and brown sauce along with his ruined pants and shirt.

"I guess I can re-wear my boxers but I hate re-wearing dirty clothes after shower…" Izaya frowned and pouted as cutely as possible.

Shizuo marched to his room, away from the lewd scene Izaya was displaying before him. He  _refused_  to fall for Izaya's seduction again. However, Izaya followed him into his room, making Shizuo curse inwardly some more.

"Here!" Shizuo shoved a spare shirt towards Izaya. When Izaya dropped his towel, Shizuo turned away to hide his flaming face. He did not want to see Izaya nude in front of him. Well, he did, but also didn't. The debt collector really felt uncomfortable with how much power Izaya had over him with just his body alone.

Searching through his closet, Shizuo found a spare belt and a pen. With a quick stab, he quickly made another hole through the tough leather.

"Wear this with the pants," Shizuo said grouchily as he passed his spare pants with the belt.

Izaya whistled in appreciation. "Wow Shizu-chan. I knew you were strong but you can even make a hole through leather belts with just a pen? Quite impressive." With a smirk, he stepped into the pants, leaning forward as he did so. It gave Shizuo even more clear view of his bare chest covered with love bites.

Shizuo groaned inwardly, ashamed with himself for getting turned on by seeing Izaya's chest yet feeling jealous over the love bites.

"Go and take a shower too Shizu-chan~ I'll get the hot pot ready~" Izaya said as he skipped along in his baggy clothes.

Shizuo sighed. This was really awkward. However with Izaya avoiding the topic at hand, Shizuo didn't bother bringing it up.

Instead he took Izaya's advice and took a quick shower. He really needed to clear his head and get refreshed.

He had Izaya over at his place again. He will need a good head on his shoulders for sure. Shizuo was pretty sure that Izaya will be more than just a  _handful._

After a quick shower where he mostly stood as the warm water washed over his body, he got out feeling a bit refreshed but also apprehensive as to what Izaya had planned for the night.

As soon as he got out, Shizuo could smell the warm aroma of delicious hot pot food in the air, reminding him of a certain morning since his apartment rarely smelled of anything delicious.

His stomach growled, reminding him that he didn't get to eat dinner at all. It was pretty late for supper but Shizuo hoped that it would be worth it.

Somehow.

Izaya was wearing his apron again as he stood by the kitchen table. His face was adorned with a small frown as he tasted a bit of the soup with his spoon.

"Maybe it needs more salt," he murmured to himself. Turning around he smiled at Shizuo who approached him with a guarded look.

"Ah, Shizu-chan. Do sit. Hey, do you know how to cook hot pots?" Izaya said cheerfully. It was all surreal to Shizuo, as if their fight an hour ago did not take place.

"No," he said gruffly as he pulled the chair out to sit.

Izaya pouted at the cold reply, "why did you decide on a hot pot then."

"..because…" Shizuo trailed off as he looked away, focusing his attention on everything but Izaya. He had thought Izaya would know, seeing as he could cook breakfast so easily. Hot pot wasn't hard right?

When Shizuo doesn't answer, Izaya sighed. "Well, no matter. Here, have a taste." Izaya blew on the spoon before he placed it near Shizuo's lips.

Tentatively he leaned forward and took a taste.

"What do you think?" Izaya asked, placing his hands on his apron expectedly.

"It's… good," Shizuo was strangely reminded of the time he wanted to tell Izaya that it was delicious. Even though he was given a second chance, Shizuo didn't have the heart to tell Izaya the truth once again after what had happened in between.

"You think so? I feel like it's missing something…" Izaya continued to take a sip of the soup. Shizuo half expected him to say  _"Of course. I made it after all."_  just like he did few days ago at this same place.

Shizuo watched Izaya add more things to the soup in silence. Izaya frowned.

"Is there something you want to tell me Shizu-chan? You keep staring at me, you'll make me blush."

Shizuo quickly looked away at his words. Izaya inwardly chuckled. He was curious as to why Shizuo had come to his place with hot pot ingredients, though he had a few guesses. Instead, to break the awkward ice, Izaya ordered, "Why don't you set the table for us, since I don't quite remember where you put your silverware?"

"Ah… right," Shizuo said as he got up, glad that he had something to do. He started to take out bowls, spoons and chopsticks. It was then when he realized, Izaya must have lied. Because he was holding a spoon to taste the soup.

'…that bastard,' Shizuo smirked, realizing that Izaya had made up an excuse to break up the awkwardness. He wasn't quite sure if he was angry at him or glad for his manipulation for once. Shizuo was certain that Izaya knew that Shizuo figured out his 'cunning plan' because he smirked at Shizuo placing the silverwares on the table, deliberately leaving out the spoon on Izaya's side.

"Shizu-chan~" he called out in his sing-song voice as he continued to give Shizuo something to do, "make us drinks too. Too bad you don't like beers; they're great with hot pots."

Once again Shizuo was slightly surprised to see how much Izaya knew of him. He hated the bitterness of beer, and preferred sweet alcohols.

Izaya took off his apron, finally satisfied with the taste of the soup and sat down in his chair. "You know, I've never seen you mix drinks when you were a bartender at the west gate." He propped his elbow up on the table, his cheek resting on his palm.

Shizuo snorted, "If you haven't framed me, I would still be working there." He opened the fridge to take out the chilled cocktail ingredients.

"Ah, but I still won't be able to see you mix drinks for me. Besides, you won't be working with your dear Tom-san either," Izaya said in light jest.

"Don't take credit on things you didn't help me with. It's your fault I got fired, but it wasn't thanks to you that I was able to get a job to work under Tom-san." Shizuo grunted as he carefully washed the fresh mixer in the warm water. It had been awhile since he mixed alcohol. His back to Izaya, there was a faint smile on his lips as he washed the metal mixer cups nostalgically.

"Well, what do you want," Shizuo asked gruffly, still not as forgiving. Even though there wasn't anything to 'forgive.' It wasn't as if they had any  _relationship_  to begin with. But something still stabbed at Shizuo's heart to see Izaya be so nonchalant.

'Was it that easy to forget we just had a fight?' Shizuo half wondered.

'No, he's avoiding it on purpose. Why?' Shizuo scowled. But as usual, he could not figure out Izaya's intentions at all.

Izaya just smiled back innocently, still leaning on his hand. "You can concoct me anything you want Shizu-chan. I'm curious of your skills. Just as long as it's not poisonous."

Shizuo scuffed and checked the fridge to see what exactly had Izaya bought.

There were several sweet mixers, mango, strawberry flavors which were Shizuo's favorite, and one that stood out differently from the others. A few cans of bitter coffee.

Shizuo almost snorted when he realized Izaya's intentions. There were exactly enough ingredients for Black Russian.

"Alright, you said anything," Shizuo took out the strawberry mixer along with a fresh lime and vodka. Izaya frowned slightly as Shizuo quickly mixed up a strawberry daiquiri.

With a sharp tap on the table, the ex-bartender placed the drink in front of Izaya.

"Here."

Izaya looked at the alcohol drink as if it was a snake as he curled up in his chair, cringing away from it.

Then he looked up at Shizuo with a look that said, 'did you have to play mean?'

Shizuo chuckled. "Like I said, you should ask what you want. That happens to be my favorite."

Izaya hugged his knees and muttered something low in his breath. Then he reached forward to take the alcohol offered to him.

Shizuo quickly grabbed the cup and took it away from Izaya's reach. The informant looked up at him quizzically.

"I'm not letting you drink something with a frown." Shizuo said in a business-like manner. Izaya giggled at his attitude.

"My, aren't you getting all professional here. Is your pride on the line as someone who used to be a bartender?"

Just those lines alone made Shizuo's eyebrow twitch. Maybe he did still have a small pride as a bartender, he certainly didn't like the idea of giving Izaya a drink he doesn't like.

Shizuo will make  _sure_  he likes the drink.

But not on  _his_  terms.

The blond placed the glass next to his seat, away from Izaya. Then he went back to the fridge to check on all the ingredients.

'Good, he did get enough. Now then… I wonder how rusty my skills are,' Shizuo thought to himself as he took out the whisky and lemon. He started boiling two pots, one with water and the other with whisky as he peeled the lemon.

Izaya just watched curious, wondering what the hot water was for.

Shizuo took out two identical mugs, pouring the boiling water in one, and the hot whisky in the other.

He took out his lighter from his pocket and lit the mug with the whisky on fire.

Shizuo took both mugs with a smirk. Holding the mugs a meter apart from each other, he started to pour the content into the other mug; a long blue flame trailing along.

Izaya watched in amazement and awe as the drink, while ablaze, travelled from one mug to the other in one mix, two mix, and then…

On the third mix, the blue flames disappeared. Shizuo slightly chuckled at his slight mistake, though Izaya still watched with awe. The bartender finished his mix with 5 waterfall of alcohol without spilling. Then with a final tap, Shizuo places the empty mug on top of the alcoholic beverage.

"Originally, you're suppose to extinguish the fire this way," Shizuo said calmly as he took back the empty mug and slid the drink to Izaya. "but looks like I am slightly rusty."

Izaya stared at his new drink now as if it was necter from the gods.

"What's… this drink called?" Izaya cautiously asked.

"Blue blazer," Shizuo smirked as he sat down, watching his ex-schoolmate with a smug smile, slightly happy with his results despite his mistake. It was worth it to see Izaya stunned at his performance.

Izaya took a tentative lick and then a sip. He raised his eyebrows to say, "Oh hey, this is pretty good," and started raising the cup higher as he drank some more.

"Don't down that shit. I'm not making you seconds." Shizuo growled as he sipped his own drink.

Izaya pouted and stopped mid-way. Lowering the glass, he started to add meat and vegetables in the hot pot.

"Don't be stingy, Shizu-chan. I bought those alcohol for us to share. Besides, I even got an extra pack of meat. It was heavy you know."

"Whatever, you probably took a cab." Shizuo scoffed as he added just more meat into the pot.

Izaya frowned as he put in more mushrooms. "Do you really think a cab would stop and let a customer inside covered in sauce, meat and cabbages so he could ruin the seats?"

Shizuo paused in the middle of dipping his meat.

'So he really did carry…  _all_  of  _that?_ ' Shizuo thought incredulously. The idea of Izaya humiliating himself from Shinjuku to Ikebukuro was still unbelievable.

Izaya continued to be nonchalant as he added more cabbage.

"So you really… did…" Shizuo started asking, voicing his doubts.

Izaya's silence as well as his tight lips answered Shizuo's question. The informant couldn't bring himself to admit that he had been in such a hurry to make it up to his 'long-time enemy' that he had gone inside the grocery store in Shinjuku and  _ran_ to Ikebukuro, carrying all that heavy bags with just his two arms. It was degrading.

'I should have at least bought it in Ikebukuro….' Izaya thought to himself. That way it would have been less of a hassle. And people knew him in Shinjuku better, so it would have been less humiliating.

But Izaya had been so flustered, that he hadn't thought ahead of time.

It was a mistake he refused to admit to, that he, Orihara Izaya, had been so troubled that he had not  _think_  but just  _reacted_  to the situation to fix it. Even though it should have been Shizuo's fault and  _he_  should have tried to fix the situation, not Izaya.

But Izaya wanted this hot pot.

He wanted some company. Especially after losing a companion he had had for several years.

Izaya expected the worst as he shrugged. "Laugh if you want Shizu-chan~ but it's  _your fault_  you know. Whoever heard of some neanderthal who comes self-invited for dinner, waits without an appointment, then get angry that I show up  _late_  and then decide to throw things at me."

Because to Izaya, it made no sense that Shizuo would be angry at hearing him have sex with Shiki. To him, that was his own humiliation and mistake. To Izaya, Shizuo probably came to make an apology in raping him a few days ago and got bored waiting he became angry due to his short temper.

Izaya still had no idea that Shizo was angry at that phone call. To Izaya, it was just an embarrassing moment, a display of his small weakness.

To Shizuo, that phone call was detrimental, as he was left in turmoil. He was confused. This twisted relationship with Izaya that he was caught in unwillingly. What it all meant to him. And to Izaya.

Izaya waited for that laughter. But Shizuo didn't laugh. Instead he calmly added more meat into the hot pot and said, "I'm not going to laugh at you."

'Interesting…' Izaya thought to himself. It was strange that Shizuo wasn't going to make fun of his shame for once. He tried another approach.

"I think you owe me an apology, Shizu-chan~ You covered me with food but here I am anyway, so we can have the hot pot, just how you wanted it," Izaya continued playfully as he put in more noodles. He masked his embarrassment by teasing Shizuo some more, fully aware that this will make Shizuo angry at him.

Izaya wanted Shizuo to be angry at him.

Forever.

He wanted that normalcy desperately, especially after losing Shiki, he longed for a form of attachment he could cling onto again. Even if that was hatred.


	30. Chapter 30

"Sorry."

Izaya blinked. Did he just hear Shizuo apologize?

"Sorry?" Izaya repeated, half in disbelief.

"Yeah, sorry." Shizuo said again, his eyes downcast as he sipped his drink quietly. When Shizuo imagined Izaya looking like a mess in public as he bought these ingredients, his anger subsided. He forgave him, for making him angry when Izaya shattered his hard work to make amends.

He still couldn't forgive Izaya for having fun with Shiki though, strangely. A slight tinge of pain stabbed at his heart remembering that phone call.

It was Izaya's turn to gawk for a second before he quickly recovered, placing another fake smile on his face.

"Heh~ Shizu-chan's so docile today. What happened? Bad day at work?"

But deep inside, Izaya was frowning. Why did he apologize? Shouldn't he get angry? Why wasn't he angry?

'I want him to be angry!' Izaya growled, hiding behind his smile.

"Nah, work was fine." Shizuo said as he got out of his trance and his expression grew thoughtful. He picked even more meat and added to hot pot.

"Oh really, Shizu-chan. Perhaps it was a good day at work then? Kicking some low-life's ass?"

"Nah, nothing like that." A small smile appeared on Shizuo's lips, confusing Izaya even more.

Izaya frowned. He couldn't seem to get this man angry at him tonight. It felt too strange.

He decided to change the subject as Shizuo started picking out just the meat to eat in his bowl.

"Hey, hey Shizu-chan! Don't eat just the meat! Eat the vegetables too! They're good for you!"

"What are you, my mom? I'll eat all the meat I want," Shizuo smirked as he picked up even  _more_  meat.

Izaya dramatically gasped out loud. He raised his chopsticks to fish up meat in the hot pot as well.

"What! Hey leave some for me too, you protozoan carnivore!" And the battle for 'meat' began.

"Hey, I need the protein. I have to go beat up lame-ass adults and kids everyday," Shizuo pretended to scowl hard as he yoinked another medium-cooked piece of meat and devoured it.

Izaya looked livid as he picked out some more meat into his bowl, even though he knew he probably couldn't eat it all.

"What the hell Shizu-chan! If they're that  _lame-ass_ , you don't need your muscles to beat them anyway," Izaya said as he started to 'collect' his meat.

"Ha! Well, you don't even need meat, you can eat your rabbit's grass instead. Don't you need to stay thinner?" Shizuo grabbed a bunch of meat all at once with one fell swoop.

"What? Did you just insinuate that I'm getting fat?" Izaya frowned, though there was a small smirk that lurked behind it.

"Are you getting fat? Those pants you wore did look a bit tight on you," Shizuo calmly bantered back as he fished for more meat, jabbing at the mushroom that came his way.

"I'll have you know, I have a very fast metabolism. And it's the carbs that makes you fat, Shizu-chan, not the protein." Izaya frowned again when he realized there was no more meat in the soup. "Hey, did you take the last one  _just_  now?"

Shizuo shrugged as he opened another pack of meat. "Better hurry up. You still have all that meat in your bowl you need to finish."

Izaya hurriedly scarfed down his meal. "Eat slower dammit! I didn't buy all this meat just for you! I understand you're a protozoan, you don't have to go proving yourself to me."

"Don't choke Izaya. Actually,  _do_  choke so I can have more for myself." Shizuo grinned openly now.

Izaya glared at him silently as he chewed as fast as he could. Shizuo just smirked as he dipped his fresh meat into the boiling hot pot.

After he finished chewing and swallowing, Izaya continued as he got up from his seat. "You should definitely eat more mushrooms and vegetables! No wonder you're a thick-headed protozoan! You don't have enough fiber in you!" He started to pick up soggy leafy vegetables from the hot pot and moved them to Shizuo's bowl.

Shizuo calmly picked up the cabbage and mushrooms and dropped them right back into the hot pot. "You can have them Izaya. I don't need them."

"Hey, that's disgusting! Don't put them  _back_  into the hot pot!" Izaya exclaimed in stunned disgust.

"What, who cares? It's either me or you eating them. And you'll eat all the vegetables anyway so why does it matter?" Shizuo shrugged, though he couldn't hide a smirk forming on his lips.

Izaya leaned forward and dropped the leaves back into Shizuo's bowl. "You  _are_  going to eat these, Shizu-chan. And that's final! I bought these so I have some say in it."

"I bought them first, you ruined it the first time." Shizuo looked up at Izaya, challengingly.

Izaya glared back with his mouths protruding into a cute pout.

Then Shizuo's eyes fell onto those kiss marks that marred his smooth pale skin. His eyes twitched, as his heart squeezed and his gut twisted tightly.

Izaya, not noticing the change in Shizuo, raised his nose high in the air as he continued to chatter, "Shizu-chan's not playing very fair. You _threw_  them at me out of your own volition. I was just saying hello. I didn't even provoke you."

Izaya frowned at the silence and crossed his arms as he leaned forward, eye-level with Shizuo, "Are you even listening to me, Mr. Troglodyte?"

Shizuo scowled and went back to eating his meat.

Now Izaya noticed something was wrong. He had expected Shizuo to at least splutter a "Troglo-what?" but he didn't. In fact, Shizuo stopped his playful banter altogether.

"What's this, are you actually backing down? That's quite something, coming from you Shizu-chan," Izaya purred as he leaned forward on the table once again.

Shizuo's scowl deepened as he looked away. "Can't you button up my shirt higher? You're disgusting."

Izaya paused at the sudden harsh comment as his hand reflexively grabbed on to the collar.

His teasing smile disappeared but was quickly replaced with a slightly more sinister one.

"What's this Shizu-chan~ Are you getting jealous of your own love bites?"

Shizuo looked up, raising one eyebrow. "What are you talking about, 'my own love bites.' You don't need to show off your hickeys from Shiki. It's revolting, so button up the damn shirt." Shizuo almost winced at his own ruthless voice.

Izaya sat down, his feet on the chair with his thighs hugged to his chest. His smiled bitterly as he regarded Shizuo with a sour look.

"I don't know what you're talking about Shizu-chan… these are _your_ love bites. Shiki-san…" Izaya's voice trailed off a bit as his eyes wandered off to the side. "…never leaves me any."

'Because he's never been possessive with me,' Izaya thought to himself. Then he remembered that one and only time Shiki did leave a mark on him. With a cigarette no less.

'Heh, I should have known back then, it was your small good-bye gift to me.' Izaya looked downcast as he thought back. It was definitely strange that Shiki had marked him back then. A lot of the things Shiki did were strange.

For example, forcing Izaya to call out Shizuo's name during sex that one time too.

Izaya realized that he should have guessed that long before that Shiki had been planning something like this. Cutting his ties with Izaya. Now all Izaya had were questions as he wondered to himself, 'why did Shiki-san want to cut ties with me all of a sudden. What is he trying to gain?'

But before he could let his thoughts drift further, Shizuo reached over and dropped a piece of meat on his bowl with a small 'plop.'

Izaya blinked as he looked at the small offering made to him.

"What's this Shizu-chan?" Izaya looked up, not liking the pity.

But what he saw in Shizuo's eyes weren't pity. Was it guilt? Izaya quietly observed Shizuo's expressions because it was layered with so many different ones at the moment.

"Ah… just saying you should cheer up." Shizuo murmured. He was partially embarrassed that he totally mistook his  _own_  love bites for Shiki's. Then had become jealous of them.

Yes, Shizuo realized he was jealous. That in itself was a crazy thought but finally admitted it to himself.

He didn't understand why Izaya had become quiet and obviously hurt by his words. But Shizuo understood that somehow he had hurt the man again. And that Izaya was thinking about Shiki again.

And Shizuo wanted to put a stop to it.

Izaya picked up the piece of meat and pouted. "Shizu-chan~ this meat is kinda small compared to… wait a second, this is well done! I like my meat rare Shizu-chan! At least  _medium!_ " Izaya whined.

Shizuo chuckled as he ate his medium-cooked meat. "Well, you wanted meat didn't you?"

"No fair Shizu-chan! I don't want your leftovers!" Izaya held it up, not sure what to do. He couldn't put it  _back_  into the hot pot after he complained to Shizuo. With a theatrical sigh, Izaya ate his tough meat, chewing it repeatedly.

"Ail haf yoo no dat yoor not geffin awaae width dis,"* Izaya spoke with a mouthful.

"After trying to teach me manners, you decide to talk with a mouthful? Izaya, I think you should go back to preschool," Shizuo continued to banter back now, wanting Izaya to forget about Shiki.

Izaya chewed and chewed with a scowl. Shizuo tried not to laugh at his chipmunk cheeks.

Izaya's eyes slit into a glare as he took his mug of alcohol and drained it to wash it down with his meat.

"I want another drink! And this time, Black Russian," Izaya haughtily ordered.

"One Black Russian then." Shizuo got up, took the mug and started to mix him his drink.

* * *

[1 hour, 7 Black Russians and 11 daiquiris later]

"And that, wuz when I told Mitsui-sensei dat the back of hiss pants were stained like he pissed himself!" Izaya said proudly.

"Shit, Izaya! Ahahahahaa!" Shizuo burst out laughing as he shook his head. "Fuck! I rememburr how pissed he was when he turned around and tried ta look at his ass!" He hooted and slapped his knee. Izaya grinned wider.

"Ah, it gettss better! Then Mizuki thought she was in trouble so she confessed afturr class! I was therr to witness it!"

"Damn you louse! The hell! If I had known, I woulda beaten the shit outta you that day."

"Shizzu-chaan~ you chase me after class  _regardless_  anyway  _everyday_." Izaya whined.

"Yeah well, you sorta deserved it." Shizuo shrugged as he picked at his meat.

"You didn't haveta chase me all the way to Dotachin's place!"

"Yeah well, you keep hidin' behind Kadota, it pisses me off even more." Shizuo shrugged again. "And that day, you woke me up frum my nice nap, if I remember kerrectly."

"Did I..." Izaya frowned. Then he blinked as he remembered.

"Ah... I do remember..." Izaya smirked to himself at his memory.

Shizuo frowned. He hated that knowing smile of his. As if the louse knew more than him.

Well, Izaya usually knew more of everything than Shizuo but it was still unsettling for the debt collector to see.

"Ssshizzu-chuwaaan~~ yer wasting all the veggies~" Izaya poked at the bloated noodles and soggy vegetables in the hot pot, changing the topic suddenly.

"Then you eat it. -hic-" Shizuo coughed, trying to clear away his hiccup.

"Such a waaaste~ And I went outta the wayz fer you too..." Izaya feigned a dramatic sigh as he sipped on his drink. He looked down and his frown turned real when he noticed that it was empty.

"Ssshizzu-chuwaan~ I waant anothur~" Izaya placed his mug in front of Shizuo.

"Hell no lousss. You're alrrready drunk!" Shizuo growled as he leaned back on his chair. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he could mix another drink. His head was swimming in a far away place and his body was flushed with a mild warm glow.

"So arz you!" Izaya shrugged as he picked up his chopsticks and tried to pick up his food.

The small mushroom plopped right back into his bowl, splashing the soup on the table. Izaya frowned at his hand coordination. Giving up, he placed the chopsticks back down.

"Ah, I wuzn't hungry anymore anywayss..." Izaya mumbled.

The pot had simmered down and they had turned it off awhile ago when they were getting mostly full. Now they were mostly drinking and talking about their high school life. Izaya would never be caught dead drunk in front of his enemy, but tonight was special. He wanted to just let it go.

And Shizuo did make really good Black Russians.

So Izaya continued to whine, hoping for one more.

"Shizzu-chwaan~ I reeeeally could use anothur drink here~"

"No means no, damn flea," Shizuo growled. He wasn't quite sure if he could stand up anyway.

Izaya pouted as he looked into his empty mug and moped.

Seeing as Shizuo's drink was still more than half full, Izaya swiped it to take a sip.

"Hey!" but Izaya already took a gulp before Shizuo could say more.

"Oh yuck. Too sweet! How can you stand dis stuff? Grosss~" Izaya made a face.

Shizuo rolled his eyes, "Givvit back. It's a waste on you."

"Nuh-uh. I want my drink."

Shizuo stood up and reached over to grab his cup. Izaya scowled and held it firmly in place. Shizuo pulled it forward with a bit more strength, jerking Izaya toward him in the process and spilling some of the precious alcohol onto the table. Izaya's scowl grew deeper as he pulled it back.

Shizuo glared at the man.

"Izaya. When it comes to power struggle, you can't win." Shizuo leaned forward on the table to face him eye to eye.

"Oh yeah? Der's more to war Shizu-chan. It's proven fact that strategies top strength throughout history!" and triumphantly, Izaya leaned forward and drank straight out of the cup, swallowing the content in a hurry.

"Hey, the fuck flea!" Shizuo yanked away the cup, but Izaya had already finished drinking it as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"Oh sick! Yuck! Disgustingly sweet!" Izaya made a face as he stuck out his now-pink tongue thanks to the strawberry daiquiris.

"The fuck! You drank it all!"

"Ha! Take that Shizu-chan! Now we're both outta drinks, yer gonna haveta make some mo-"

But Shizuo interrupted him with an angry growl, "Hell no. Not if I can help it!"

He grabbed Izaya by the front of his shirt and pulled him forward across the table.

And firmly kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> "Are you getting fat? Those pants you wore did look a bit tight on you," --LOL, my little tribute to another beautiful kinky fic, "Amplify" Do check it out!
> 
> "Ail haf yoo no dat yoor not geffin awaae width dis," - "I'll have you know that you're not getting away with this"


	31. Chapter 31

Shizuo's tongue forcefully entered inside Izaya's mouth to lick and taste the sweet intoxicating alcohol residuals inside Izaya's mouth. The latter placed his hand in front of the blond's chest, stunned and hesitant, caught between his fumbling and hazy desire to push him away yet also wishing to draw him closer. His confused fingers curled around the wrinkles of the white shirt, uncertain as to what the brain was telling them to do.

They breathed in their alcohol infused breathes of each other, the sickeningly sweet taste still lingering in their mouths as their kiss deepened and grew heated. Shizuo sucked harder as Izaya panted for more.

Finally Shizuo pulled out first, leaving Izaya's mind even more muddled and blank.

"Ha! Take that! I drank your alcohol!" Shizuo shouted triumphantly.

Izaya wrinkled his brow, trying to understand what had just happened. In his drunken stupor, he couldn't remember what happened 5 minutes ago before the kiss to understand why Shizuo was victorious of a battle he doesn't remember fighting.

But a challenge was a challenge.

"No, you didn't!" Izaya shouted back, though he wasn't quite sure what Shizuo didn't do. Or wasn't suppose to do. Whichever! It didn't matter anymore, he was still going to win... _somehow._

"I just did, damn louse!" Shizuo shouted back, his grip on the shirt tightening.

Izaya frowned at the ringing headache when Shizuo shouted at him.

"Shizu-chan, use your in-door voices, please. You're so loud~" he whined as he tried to shake his head. It only made his mind more fuzzy however.

"Whatever, I won." Shizuo said as he let him go.

"I'm thirsty," and with that, Shizuo walked over to the fridge for more drinks.

"I'm thirsty too~" Izaya said as he held onto the wobbly table, because there was no way  _he_  was wobbly, oh no. The world was spinning while he was standing perfectly still. Izaya carefully walked closer to Shizuo, while still holding onto the kitchen table resolutely, his limb shaking.

"Damn, we're out of milk." Shizuo cursed.

"Forget the milk, what about the alcohol!" Izaya groaned at the over-grown baby who was still going on about his  _milk._

"It's yooour fault that we're out of milk, flea!" Shizuo sharply turned to point fingers.

"Me? I don't even drink your milk!" Izaya shouted back. 'Seriously this guy, what about the alcohol?' Izaya wanted to shout to the protozoan head how he really and seriously needed a more mature taste in his drinks.

"You'd better take responsibility!" Shizuo said as he marched towards Izaya, which were only a couple of steps.

Izaya frowned, taking a half step back when Shizuo came to him so determined. He really wished the earth would stop having tiny tremors, because how can a man think when the world continued to oscillate?

Shizuo pushed Izaya against the wall, not too roughly but firmly. Izaya leaned back, not quite sure what was going on anymore and just wished that ground would stabilize.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Izaya looked down and frowned when he realized that the blond was unbuckling him.

"Milk," was all Shizuo said as if that explained his explanation as to why he was pulling down the pants next.

"Huh?" Izaya continued to look down, his brain not connecting the two together.

The next thing Izaya knew was blinding light and warm heat as the blood instantly flowed toward his middle as Shizuo opened his mouth to engulf his cock and sucked hard.

" _Nnnngh…._!" Izaya groaned as he grasped onto a handful of messy blond hair to keep him steady. His limbs were already quivering with the threat of an impending fall at hand. His visions blurred even more with the lack of blood in his head when they continued to flow below and gathered around the fast-budding erection.

"Shi… Shizu… wh-what…  _haaa…_ ," Izaya gasped when he felt the blond's tongue flick at the underside of his head before he pressed his mouth forward, the tongue dragging even further down. His hands twisted around the strands of blond as Izaya arched forward.

" _Oh god…_  Shi… zu… ch…" Izaya lost all coherent thoughts as Shizuo hand rolled his testicles around his palm while the other dipped inside his entrance and probed for his prostate. Izaya swooned under such a spoiled administration.

Unable to stop him, Izaya held onto the debt collector's head as he ran his tongue up and down while his mouth continued his delicious sucking for his 'milk.' Not long afterwards, Izaya came hard into Shizuo's mouth as he continued to lap up the white, hot ejaculation.

Izaya shuddered as Shizuo continued to suck until he was just wet with his saliva.

"S… stop! Nnngh… No-no more… please…" Izaya begged when Shizuo did not stop from there.

"One round isn't enough louse." Shizuo pulled out to growl at him. Those amber eyes met with the sultry ripe cherry colored irises that begged for him.

"Are you an idiot? Wait, I forgot you are an idiot. Don't you know anything about refractory period?"

"Don't care, I'll just keep you hard until you're ready then." Shizuo mumbled as he spread Izaya's ass with his hands and started to lick him.

"Fuuu-  _aah!_ " Izaya arched back when the wet tongue licked at his interior sphincter. His legs gave out and Izaya slid down the wall. Luckily Shizuo quickly grabbed his hip before he crashed to the hard floor.

"The hell flea? Can't even stand up straight?"

"It's  _your fault_  I fell Shizu-chan!"

"How was it even my fault? Ah dammit, forget it. You talk too much." Shizuo pulled up and Izaya couldn't help when his heart fluttered in anxiety as the shadow loomed over him.

Shizuo captured Izaya's mouth in a heated kiss, his tongue conveniently trapping Izaya's. Izaya breathed roughly, trying to fight back despite knowing that it was a lost cause.

While they groaned into each other's mouth, Shizuo's hand rubbed on top of Izaya's shirt, finding the taunt nipple and pinched it, awarding him with a throaty groan from the informant.

The hand then roamed lower, finding the semi-erected and tired cock and started pumping him once more.

Izaya groaned a complaint while his body shuddered with over-stimulation which Shizuo ignored as he continued to fist him.

Izaya stiffened and trembled, desperately trying to push off the protozoan who won't believe in recovery time because Shizuo was obviously a monster who seem to have no problem with multiple orgasms. After a constant painful strokes, the informant shivered violently as another wave of raw climax was squeezed out of him.

"Fuck Izaya. At least you could have told me." Shizuo said when he realized that the hot cum were escaping from the cock and dribbling all over his hand. He quickly lowered himself to lick at the flooding erection and then his sticky hand.

"Y… you wouldn't let me, you neanderthal!" Izaya gasped as he tried to fill his lung with fresh oxygen again.

Shizuo shrugged once he had finished licking his hand, the only break Izaya managed to get, which were only a couple of minutes. He was still panting when Shizuo flipped him over onto his belly and pulled up his hips. Still intoxicated, Izaya was extremely confused by his new position since this way, Shizuo won't be able to receive his 'milk.'

"Tell me when you're ready to come then." Shizuo licked his fingers wet before he inserted inside Izaya's rectum once more, this time deeply probing to find his sweet spot.

"Wh- what kind of…  _nngh…_  … lowest order of prim…. _aaah…_  …primate are you, from Pliocene Epoch? I wish you…  _haa…. Aaah…_  went extinct along wi…  _mmng…_  with the ice age…." Izaya squirmed as he was forced to spread his legs and prop himself up with his ass raised high in the air. His toes curled each time those fingers neared his prostate.

"You really talk too much." Shizuo frowned. He looked between the legs to make sure that Izaya's cock was still swollen and throbbing.

"And where's my milk?"

"Y-you *#$&#$&)*#$&#*($&#*$-!"

String of curse words that Shizuo did not understand spewed out of the smart informant's mouth, though Shizuo wasn't sure if those were curse words to begin with since the sounded more historical and scientific.

"… does that mean you don't have any more milk?" Shizuo frowned in worry.

"Hell Shizu! Damn you and your brain that's worse than an ameba! I said there's such things as refract- _Aaaah!_ " Izaya yelped with Shizuo's finger finally found his prostate.

"Oh, hey. You shut-uped. Good. I was hoping I don't have to gag you. You know, so you can tell me when my milk is coming out, and stuff." Shizuo nodded gravely as his fingers started rubbing circles around the prostate.

" _Aaah… aaah!_  D-don't! Th… that's too…  _aaaah!_ " Izaya's eyes brimmed with tears when his body was once again forced to feel waves of pleasure that made his stomach flutter with arousal. His cock started bobbing up and down again with the sweet massage to his pleasure spot.

"I… I'm gonna… so… get you for this…" Izaya moaned as his ass begged for more.

"Sure. But right after my milk." Shizuo nodded seriously.

"Oh god Shizu… I hate you  _so fucking much._ " Izaya growled as shivers continued to travel up and down his spine.

Izaya turned his head to peek back at Shizuo in anger. Then he noticed something.

The damn protozoan was  _not hard._

His pants were not tight  _at all._

"The hell Shizu! Are you seriously trying to milk me dry?" Izaya shouted when he realized that Shizuo wasn't doing this out of sexual desires. The cause might have manifested from bottled up sexual frustrations, but the fact that Shizuo was not turned-on angered Izaya.

Then fear crept in his heart as he realized, Shizuo would literally just suck him dry even after he faints.

Izaya quickly forced himself and turned over, making Shizuo scowl. With his feet Izaya tried desperately to push him away, one foot on Shizuo's face.

"Dammit Shizu! I don't  _have_  any more milk got it? Wake the fuck up already!"

Shizuo grabbed his ankle and removed the foot from his face.

"I want my milk, louse. And you're gonna give it to me." He said darkly with serious intent in every word.

Izaya's eyes widened in realization as if someone dumped cold water on his brain.

"Dammit Shi…  _nnngh..!_ " Izaya arched when the fingers continued to pummel inside him, finding his prostate once more to force him into yet another wave of painful pleasure.

Izaya gasped and contorted as he watched helplessly. His body fully flushed with arousal once more, Izaya glared at Shizuo in anger. Looking down at his pants that made him even more pissed off, an possible idea hit the informant.

He moved his leg and using his foot, he rubbed between Shizuo's legs, feeling the bulge stir as his toes massaged him.

Izaya rubbed the fabric, creating friction as he could feel the bulge grow larder with each stroke. Shizuo groaned softly though his intoxicated brain could not figure out what was going on.

"What are you doing?" Shizuo asked scowling as he look down, not understanding why Izaya was massaging his balls with his foot.

"I'm giving you your milk dammit! There's more than one ways to give you your damn milk!" Izaya growled as he pinched the head between his toes to try to pull down the foreskin. It was a lot harder with the pants on.

"Oh. Good thinking. That's a good idea louse. I like it when you actually use your head." Shizuo started to unbuckle his pants.

Izaya snorted, "I  _always_ use my head."

Shizuo took out his cock from his boxers and tried pumping himself. Izaya was relieved when the fingers finally left his ass.

Shizuo frowned again in confusion however. "Wait, how can I drink this?"

Izaya facepalmed.

"Here, let me." Izaya crawled between his legs. At this rate, Izaya was willing to do anything to get some rest. And getting Shizuo to get exhausted enough to sleep seem to be the only option his muddled head could think of.

Izaya lowered his head and took in the semi-hard cock inside his mouth. With his fingers, he pulled down the foreskin successfully to reveal the pink head. Izaya licked as it voraciously, receiving another moan from Shizuo as the erection grew harder. Shizuo started to slowly thrust his hips into Izaya as his one massive hand held the back of his head, cajoling him to continue on. Izaya tried his best not to gag as he pumped the cock for 'milk,' with his mouth.

Finally, Shizuo grunted and released his white load, spilling the cum inside Izaya's mouth. Izaya held his mouth as long as he could without choking and pulled out when he was filled to the brim with cum. More hot sperms splashed onto his face, neck and down the shirt while Izaya hurried got up to give Shizuo his 'milk' before he was forced to swallow it.

Cupping Shizuo's face, Izaya opened his mouth to pour the cum inside the blond's. Shizuo greedily tongued for more after swallowing his own load. Izaya closed his eyes and shivered as the blond's tongue licked at his mouth possessively.

After he was finished with Izaya's mouth, Shizuo licked at Izaya's face for the residuals, then his sensitive neck, and then top of the shirt near the chest.

Seeing how some of the cum had spilled down the neck to the middle of his chest, Shizuo greedily pulled up the shirt, as Izaya whimpered.

There was a sudden pause from Shizuo's obsessive drive for milk licking and Izaya opened one eye to peek at why Shizuo had stopped.

Shizuo was staring at his chest.

Confused, Izaya pulled up his shirt more to look down.

"Ah…" Izaya noted when he realized Shizuo was staring at the tiny black mark that had mostly disappeared. Instead there was a reddish kissmark that was also slowly healing.

Shizuo touched it with his fingertip softly, still staring at it with unreadable eyes. Izaya didn't know what to expect when Shizuo gently leaned forward to give him a kiss on the center of his chest.

Then another.

And then another.

Each kiss became firmer than the next. Each succession of kisses became more and more aggressive.

Shizuo's hands rode up from his hip to the chest, his thumbs twirling around the pinkish nubs that grew taunt and hard as he rolled. The blond grazed his teeth on the skin, marking that spot again and again as Izaya curled on top of him, gasping each time Shizuo sucked or bit him.

"S… Shizu… chan…" Izaya moaned as Shizuo continued his relentless assault.

"It… it hurts…" Izaya moaned louder now as his hands wrapped around the tangled blond mess as his legs too coiled around Shizuo's waist.

Shizuo finally released his mouth from the bruised skin to move upward and kissed the side of his cheek. Izaya shuddered again as the debt collector's hands wrapped around the back and lowered him down as he loomed over him.

"I'm not giving you to him," Shizuo whispered into Izaya's ear. The raven haired man gulped as his eyes dilated in confusion.

"Wha-?"

"You're  _mine._ " Shizuo growled was he shoved his cock inside Izaya's entrance without warning.

Izaya yelped in pain, though he was wet from earlier and stretched properly. He was caught by surprise at the sudden intrusion.

"Shi… Shizu-chan… what are yo-"

"Izaya…" Shizuo whispered his name softly and possessively as his hands held him down and he began to move his hips. Izaya moaned as his emotions stirred inside him like a storm slowly gathering for a chaotic hurricane.

"Shizu… chan…  _aaah…_ " Izaya's body quivered under the hard muscles that forced him open and drove deeply inside.

"Oh god…" Izaya held on tightly onto the shoulder and neck of his assailant. As much as he wanted to push him away, Shiki's words strangely came back to him at an inopportune moment.

_'Did you enjoy yourself with him that much?'_

Izaya gritted his teeth as he realized his veins were coursing with lust for this man. His body screamed for more and he wanted to be pushed down on the hard surface forcefully and pummeled until his strength gave out. His desires burned inside his small body like an inextinguishable fire, a small ember that continued its warm glow and had finally combusted into something too large and grand to control.

"Shizu-chan… Shizu-chan…!" Izaya cried for him, just as Shizuo huskily panted his name into his ear, their hips grinding fast with need for each other in hurried motion.

Everything blurred for Izaya save for the white screaming passion that burst out, though nothing came out of his swollen cock. The extended orgasm of pain mixed with pleasure continued to assault Izaya as Shizuo continued to ram into the shivering man who couldn't come anymore. Finally Shizuo pulled out to release his hot semen on top of Izaya's face and body as Izaya lay on the floor, gasping for breath and some rest.

However, once Shizuo had licked away all the cum off of Izaya's face and body again, he frowned at Izaya's limp cock and licked at it again, muttering something about 'milk' or another.

Izaya groaned tiredly as his mind tried to make sense of how to call Shizuo by another word for a stupid idiot before he fainted from exhaustion.


	32. Chapter 32

Shizuo woke up because the bed was kind of hard yet soft. And it was moving.

He groaned at his stiff body and tried to focus his disorientated mind.

The blond lifted himself up and realized he was sleeping on the kitchen floor…

…with Izaya underneath him.

"The hell?" Shizuo quickly got up. Izaya was still knocked out as he moaned quietly.

"Ah shit. I must have gotten drunk and…" Shizuo groaned as he tried very hard to remember what happened.

He couldn't remember anything of what happened last night.

Shizuo carefully lifted up Izaya from the floor. He curled naturally inward towards him. Shizuo wasn't sure what he felt about that, though it made him feel a bit warm when he saw Izaya do so. Almost like a cat.

Knowing Izaya would complain if he woke up on the hard floor, he carried him to bed. Shizuo got a warm wet towel to at least try his best and clean up the white flakes of dried residuals on his face and body as gently as possible without waking him up.

Seeing Izaya sleep gave Shizuo a strange and conflicted feeling. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not.

Swallowing hard, he got up and put a blanket on top of the sleeping man.

The first thing Shizuo did on a Saturday morning was to take a shower. In the hot shower, he thought about what he should do with his situation. But thinking only kept him going in circles so he gave up.

After the showers, he cleaned up the kitchen, and covered up the left-over. As he opened the fridge to put away the left overs, he realized how empty his fridge was. He was reminded of Izaya's words from the first breakfast morning they had together not too long ago.

_"Shizu-chan, you really need to stock up on your food supplies. There's practically nothing here decent enough for any meal. I had to scramble around to find anything. And geez, your eggs are like 3 days before they expire. I prefer my breakfast to be traditional style with miso soup and… Shizu-chan, are you listening to me?"_

A small smile crept up on Shizuo's lips.

After closing the fridge door, he got up.

He had some grocery shopping to do.

* * *

Izaya groaned as he woke up with a splendid headache and a sore body. He rolled to the side to cuddle next to a pillow when…

… his hand felt the edge of the bed.

He stopped himself before he tumbled off the bed.

"What the heck, I normally sleep on the middle of my be-" Izaya jerked open his eyes from the shock of almost falling off the bed.

He looked around to realize that he wasn't in his bed. In fact, this wasn't even his own room. He was wearing Shizuo's shirt and had no pants.

That was when he remembered what happened last night.

Scowling, Izaya got up. His legs were unsteady from fatigue but it wasn't enough that he'd fall immediately.

Holding onto walls, he shakily got to the door and opened it.

Immediately when he opened the door to the living room, his nostril was flooded with the smell of breakfast; steamed rice, and miso soup filled the air. Feeling apprehensive, Izaya quietly walked over to the kitchen.

He blinked as he watched Shizuo in the kitchen, wearing his apron as he scowled over a small pot of miso soup. He took a sample and seemed to think that it didn't taste right.

Izaya smiled at the scene as he carefully timed himself before he shouted loudly, "Hi Shizu-chan! Good morning!"

Startled, Shizuo dropped his spoon and yelped with the hot scalding soup splashed a bit on his face.

Izaya giggled as he sat down on the chair and placed his elbows on the table as he rested his chin on his hands.

"I didn't know you can cook Shizu-chan~"

Shizuo just glared at him silently as he wiped his face and picked up the spoon to wash it.

"So, what's for breakfast?"

"'nuthing much," Shizuo grumbled as he added more miso into the soup. Izaya giggled as he spoke up, "You know, you're supposed to flavor the miso soup with bonito."

His back to Izaya, Shizuo paused from pouring more miso into the pot for a split second as if in stunned silence. Then with a grumble, he continued to pour more miso into the pot anyway.

Izaya laughed out loud.

"Ah well, I hope it's edible anyway. Please don't poison me~" Izaya sang as he scuffled his feet like an impatient kid.

"Go shower first, it'll take at least 15 more minutes before the rice is done," Shizuo muttered his face slightly turned as he spoke.

Izaya smiled and simply said, "Sure Shizu-chan~ Don't burn the soup now~" and skipped to the shower room, not waiting to hear Shizuo's response.

Once in the bathroom, he leaned back against the door just to have a moment to himself. This was such a different situation from before, clearly a change in their relationship. Izaya stripped himself off of Shizuo's shirt. Before tossing it, he looked at it. He remembered how he hated this shirt last time he was here.

Hesitantly, he brought the shirt up to his face and took a deep breath.

It smelled of Shizuo. Light fragrance of the detergent along with the smell of the tobacco and the Ikebukuro streets.

It wasn't a bad smell, Izaya thought as he lowered it to the ground.

Stepping into the shower, Izaya turned on the facet. The water warmed up and Izaya relaxed his muscles.

"That damn brute. I bet he sucked me dry last night even after I fainted." Izaya pouted as he noticed the bite marks around his inner thighs.

He also noticed the red mark above his heart.

Izaya smirked as he still remembered Shizuo's voice last night.

_"I'm not giving you to him,"_

_"You're_  mine."

Remembering those words made his chest warm, the ember inside him still glowing as the heat spread throughout his body.

After cleaning up, he walked out as he dried his hair with his towel. By the door there were another set of Shizuo's shirt and pants for him to wear for the day. On top of the clothes there was a memo with the street address to the Laundromat and the punched number for him to pick up his favorite jacket along with his pants.

Izaya smirked and pocked the memo. He wore the baggy pants with a specially altered belt buckle. He rolled up the sleeves of the oversized shirt as he walked back to the kitchen.

Shizuo had finished cooking and was placing the bowls of rice along with miso soups on the table. He also had a bit of pre-made fish cakes and pickles he bought at the grocery store as well. Izaya's eyes almost glowed at the 'feast' laid before him.

"My, Shizu-chan. You sure went out of your way." Izaya said, in more ways than one as he sat down on his chair. He placed one foot on his seat and hugged his leg with his arms.

Shizuo just shrugged and sat down to eat.

After saying a proper  _itadakimasu_  Izaya picked up his chopstick and took a bite of his rice. It was warm and fluffy. He took a spoonful of the mysterious miso soup and tasted it.

It wasn't bad, Izaya noted.

He looked up to see that Shizuo was staring at him intensely, wondering if it was any good. Caught staring, his eyes quickly went back to his food, fumbling with his chopsticks.

Izaya chuckled, "this isn't bad Shizu-chan. Instant miso-soup I take it?" he sipped at the soup some more.

Shizuo just scratched his head and didn't say anything as he scuffled down his meal.

'Interesting…' Izaya wondered what had made Shizuo change recently. It was unusual to see him so…  _nice_  to him, for lack of better word.

The silence was deafening to Shizuo's ears as they ate in silence. Normally Izaya would somehow break it with his annoying nagging but he seemed to be in a contemplative mood for the morning. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

At least they weren't fighting.

Then Shizuo remembered Kasuka's words, how one could always talk about food over the meal, when one ran out of topic to talk about.

"Umm… how's the food?" Shizuo asked tentatively.

"Why? Did you poison it after all Shizu-chan?" Izaya's eyes twinkled playfully.

'This man! I can't even be nice to him for once!' Shizuo flashed in anger but tried his very best to calm down.

"Of course not." Shizuo gruffly replied.

"Did I already reply that it's not bad for an instant food?" Izaya shrugged.

'Dammit, that would kill the conversation.' Shizuo growled as he tried to think of something else to talk about. It was true that he couldn't ask how good the food was if he made it since it would sound boastful.

After more silence as Izaya ate more fish cakes and pickles with his rice, Shizuo swallowed hard to try to break the ice once more.

"Hey, louse."

"Yes, Mr. Protozoan?"

'… calm down… you did call him  _louse_  after all…' Shizuo told himself as the anger still bubbled in his veins.

"About… about the egg sandwiches earlier…"

"Egg sandwiches?"

"Th… the ones you made for me last time."

"Ah those yes. What about them?"

"… they were delicious," Shizuo said as he looked down at his bowl, avoiding Izaya's gaze.

There was a slight pause from Izaya's side of the table before he spoke with his usual haughty voice, "Why of course. I made them after all."

Strangely, those words didn't anger Shizuo as much as it did before. Or perhaps he was slightly feeling relieved that at least he got to tell him properly this time.

"Seriously Shizu-chan, you really should learn how to cook. And eat better. You live alone and you still can't make simple things? Then again it's quite astonishing to see an ape learn how to use utensils… Oh wait, I'm giving the apes too much credit. I forgot you're kinda on the lower pyramid then them."

Izaya's mouth prattled on now that it was on the loose. Shizuo gritted his teeth in half regret that Izaya was back to being himself again. It was a mixed curse with blessing.

What Shizuo did not know, was that the main reason why Izaya won't stop talking was because he was embarrassed.

"And seriously Shizu-chan, what's with you and  _milk?_  I know you only seem to think that all you need to eat or drink is milk but you have one really unhealthy obsession with it. They say that their inner self manifests when one is drunk but seriously Shizu-chan? Seriously?"

Shizuo frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"Milk Shizu-chan,  _milk!_ " Izaya spread his arms out exasperated. "Don't you remember last night? Ugh… remind me, I'm  _never_  drinking with you again!" Izaya pointed at Shizuo with his chopstick as he announced his decree.

Shizuo's frown deepened.

"I drank milk last night?"

Izaya's mouth fell open.

"You did more than just  _drink_  milk Shizu-chan! You raped me again!"

Shizuo looked to the side as if he was thinking hard.

"I highly doubt I'd rape you Izaya." Shizuo thought to himself. He was sure that he'd never try to rape anyone, especially Izaya after that fight they had which left him pretty… devastated, even though Shizuo didn't like to believe it. If his drunken state would bring out the true self within him, even more reason why he would never rape Izaya.

"What? You don't remember what you did to me last night? You left marks all over my body! Do you want me to take off my pants and show you the marks you left me on my thighs?"

"No thanks," Shizuo flinched. "Besides, you could be lying. And I'm sure I won't rape you Izaya."

Izaya's eyes bore into Shizuo's face in disbelief.

"I don't believe this. You really don't remember? You sucked me dry last night!"

Shizuo's confused eyes told Izaya that the dumb brute was not lying. He clearly forgot what he did last night.

That included those words Shizuo had told him while he forced Izaya to move with lustful desires.

And it angered Izaya more than anything else.

"Oh my, I had no idea Mr. Protozoan head had a memory of a goldfish as well. Well that makes sense since your brain hasn't evolved much and is still under developed." Izaya rolled his eyes, lowering his chopsticks and crossing his arms angrily. He lost his appetite.

Shizuo's frown deepened, his anger slowly bubbling into a boil.

"So what if I can't remember what I did last night. I'm sure I didn't  _rape_  you as you call it. We were both damn drunk, I don't even know how you could remember what happened anyway."

"Ha! A victim will always remember his rapist. You engraved it on my body after all." Izaya's body involuntarily shivered at remembering Shizuo's touches that still ghosted his skin. The way those hot fingers marked him, and the way his lips and teeth grazed him…

It really angered Izaya that Shizuo did not remember any of it, while the informant could still clearly recall that night fresh in his memory.

"Maybe it's your memory that's faulty."

Izaya gritted his teeth as he thought to himself, ' _How_ dare _this Neanderthal say_ my memory _is the faulty one when he clearly doesn't remember what happened last night! Well Shizu-chan, I'm going to show you exaaaactly what you missed!_ '

Izaya got up from his chair and started to take off his pants.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing louse?" Shizuo spluttered as Izaya pulled off his pants, walked over and stood proudly.

"This right here," Izaya said as he pointed at his inner thigh, "is when you bit me and said 'Iza-chaaan~ you're sooo cuuuute~'" Since Shizuo didn't remember what happened last night, Izaya decided adding a little bit couldn't hurt.

"I would  _never_  say that!" Shizuo flinched away, uncertain if he should look away or get up and leave. But he couldn't look away from those creamy thighs that were clearly marked with his love bites. Shizuo wondered exactly what had happened last night that would make him mark those.

"Oh yeah you did! This one right here~" Izaya pointed towards another one, closer to his crotch which was barely hidden by the long white shirt that was not his size. "is the one you marked as you said "Iza-chaaan~ you turn me on soooo much~"

"I would  _not_  say that either!" Shizuo winced, though in his head he wondered to himself, since he might have said them. He just couldn't remember.

"Then you pulled up and…" Izaya started to unbutton his shirt and Shizuo's eyes widened even more as his lower stomach stirred funnily.

"You started hungrily sucking on me here," pointing at one of the bruises, "saying how much you think I'm sexy when I call your name~" Izaya was on a roll as he made up the story on the spot. "and started sucking on my nipple, bit on it hard~" Izaya's voice lowered just a bit slightly in a seductive manner as he pushed away the white fabric of the shirt. Izaya smirked when Shizuo swallowed hard.

"Then you started pulling me closer, grinding your hard cock against me," Izaya took a step forward as Shizuo almost fell backward on his chair. Izaya grabbed the back of the chair to keep him steady as he leaned forward, his red eyes swirling with wanton seduction as he gazed deeply into Shizuo's confused orbs.

"Then you started sucking me harder, saying how much you desired me, and how my body makes you fucking horny and started digging your finger inside me as you swallowed my member and…"

"STOP!" Shizuo shouted, pushing him away as his face burned. "Shit Izaya! I'm sure you're lying!"

"No I'm not!" Izaya shouted back angrily. Well, he was lying but Izaya decided that he was just bending the truth. Shizuo did say he was  _'his'_. It wasn't fair that Shizuo blurted something out like that and forgotten about it.

"You sound like you enjoyed it, if you remember that much of it!" Shizuo shouted back, trying to defend himself and will his face to stop burning.

"No I didn't! I did not enjoy it you stupid degenerated homo sapien! All you did was just selfishly devour me!" Izaya could strangely hear Shiki's words how he had enjoyed himself with Shizuo too much and the informant wanted to deny that fact. There was no way he had enjoyed himself with this monster who wasn't even human.

"I… I won't ever do that! And you clearly liked it!" Shizuo's face heated up, now in anger.

"Did not! I'll have you know, I  _hated_ your touches! They're nothing but bites and bruises, you're always too rough on me, unlike Shiki-san," Izaya fired away without thinking. He knew from the back of his mind that now he was clearly lying since Shizuo never was rough with him.

Shizuo's face cringed at the mention of him being rough. He was always afraid that he was being too rough after all, and to be compared to Shiki hurt even more. He swallowed hard as he started to yell back, "You filthy louse! I-"

But Izaya cut him off with his rapid fire, "And you degenerated Protozoan who can't recall what happened last night! I bet you can't even count one through ten without your fingers! Oh I'm soooo curious what would happen if I were to cut one of them off!"

"Now see here! I said I was drunk and I-"

"Yeah well I bet you made  _sure_  that I was drunk so you can clearly rape me you regressed f-"

"You  _asked_  for those drinks!"

"Ha! You were the one mixing in the alcohol!"

"I lowered the quantity of that each time because you were downing that shit as if you were addictive drugs!"

"Heh, you would know won't you Shizu-chan? And I'll have you know I don't-"

"Did you just suggest that I'm a filthy pothead?"

"Now did I Shizu-chan? You're putting words right in my mouth. All I said was you have memory problems just when it's  _convenient_  to you, Mr. Rapist and I-"

"Look! I'm sure I do not-"

"Whatever Mr. Rapist."

"I  _did not rape you!_ "

"Uh huh. Right. And you remember this but you don't remember the rest?"

Somewhere in between their heated argument, Shizuo had stood up and was looming over the informant while Izaya stood his ground. His crimson eyes bore into those amber ones, judging him.

"This is why I FUCKING H-…" Shizuo raised his voice only to trail off at the end.

Izaya blinked. ' _Come on. Say it. Say you_ hate _me!_ "

But Shizuo didn't say the words Izaya wanted to hear. Instead he took a deep breath and let it out as he stared down at the smaller man. It was as if he was counting to ten to let out his anger.

Grumbling, Shizuo sat back down in his chair, tiredly.

"Let's just eat breakfast. I'm hungry."

"…"

Izaya stared back speechless. He couldn't believe it. Heiwajima Shizuo. Did not get angry at him.

_Why wasn't he angry?_

Gritting his teeth, Izaya buttoned up his shirt and hastily pulled on his pants.

"Izaya?" Shizuo asked as he realized Izaya was angry. Shizuo was slightly proud that he was able to hold back his anger. It took a lot of will power but he did not want to recreate that scene that haunted him to this day.

He didn't understand why Izaya was angry.

" _Thank you_  for the meal but I'm not hungry anymore." Izaya huffed, clearly not really thanking him.

"I'm borrowing your outfit until I get mine back." Izaya started to walk out of the kitchen.

Shizuo stood up and grabbed Izaya's arm. "Wait, why are you angry?"

"Isn't that obvious?" Izaya turned to face Shizuo, his eyes glaring up at him.

Shizuo frowned. He just couldn't believe he would rape this man, no matter how drunk he was.

"Did… I do or say something last night?" Shizuo asked, wondering if it wasn't ' _rape_ ' that was the issue but something else.

Something else that he did that he forgot that undoubtedly made Izaya this upset.

Izaya took a sharp intake of breath, his eyes suddenly widening. Nervous, Izaya yanked his arm free.

"I'm never drinking with you again. Ever!" Izaya swallowed hard, his chest hurting as he repeated those words. He walked over to the door and pulled on his shoes.

"Wait, Izaya!" Shizuo walked faster, closing their gap as he reached out for him.

"Don't  _touch_  me!" Izaya cringed away from his reaching hand, half scared that Shizuo could understand him. He was afraid that the contact would make his body crave for the brute again and somehow Shizuo would see through him.

See through how much Izaya desired him after all.

And it scared Izaya to know that anyone could have such power over him. Information and understanding were keys that only  _he_  wanted to hold. Izaya did not want  _anyone else_  to have that much information on him.

Information meant power and control in Izaya's world.

Shizuo paused, his outstretched hand wavering, afraid to hurt this man even more. He was a monster who could hurt anyone even with the slightest touch. And Shizuo was afraid that he did hurt Izaya last night even though he had no intention of doing so.

Seeing Shizuo pause, Izaya used it to his advantage as he ran out the door.

The blond watched as the door shut closed, once again leaving him alone in his quiet apartment.

' _If only I could remember what I did!_ ' Shizuo sighed to himself frustrated.

He leaned against the wall and slid down muttering the name,

"Izaya…"


	33. Chapter 33

"Orhara-san..." Shiki said as he tried to look through his papers. But it was quite difficult in his position with Izaya sitting on his lap with his belly to the sofa and his legs. He was furiously typing away.

"Why are you here?" Shiki sighed in exasperation. He felt like he was babysitting an immature kid.

"Oh? Am I unwelcomed here too?" Izaya looked up at Shiki disgruntled for a brief second before going back to his texting.

Shiki tried to shift his legs but it was near impossible with the weight of a full grown man on top of him. He leaned back on his black leather sofa sinking in further as he felt Izaya's stomach and the informant's weight shift towards him heavily.

"I didn't send you to Heiwajima-san to have you come back to me rejected."

"Perhaps you should train me further then. Shizu-chan didn't like me very much." Izaya grumbled as he typed away, ignoring Shiki's irritation and how the Awakusu men stood around them awkwardly.

"Orihara-san." Shiki said with a commanding voice. Guilty, Izaya looked up from his cellphone.

"Don't come back here after you get dumped. I'm not going to comfort you."

Izaya's face flushed red with anger.

"I  _didn't_  get dumped!"

"Oh? Then why are you here? Rejected by Heiwajima-san? Wanting to be  _re-_ trained even though we both know that it was all farce. It's getting old, Orihara-san. Go sulk in your own corner in your studio."

Izaya gritted his teeth and stood up.

"Fine!" Izaya stomped off to the door.

When he swung open, there was Akabayashi, leaning against it as if he was eavedropping. He laughed nervously at Izaya and said a cheerful hello. Izaya glared down at the man with the flaming red hair. Izaya turned back once to glare at Shiki to say, "And I  _didn't_  get dumped!"

"Of course, Orihara-san." Shiki nodded agreeably.

With that, Izaya ran out the door.

Akabayashi craned his neck to see the young informant rush out the building, then came inside the room as he closed the door behind him.

"You okay with him leaving like that?"

Shiki shrugged. "He'll come back eventually. But I'm tired of taking care of him whenever he gets injured with small wounds."

Akabayashi laughed heartily as he sat down. "Well, just make you sure keep him in check. He's in your care after all."

Shiki sighed with transparent vexation.

* * *

As the cool autumn air hit Izaya's face harshly, he grew even more bitter. He  _loved_  humans, but it was terribly irritating when all of them hated him so much.

"It's okay! I love you all ANYWAY!" Izaya shouted to no one in particular. A few people around him looked at him as if he was crazy and continued to walk away from the said-man. Izaya started skipping down the road feeling a bit more cheerful.

"Ah yes humans. I love you all despite how you all hate me. You all hate the truth because truth hurts you. The truth that I love you hurts you. But in the end, truth prevails! Yes, yes, yes..." Izaya mumbled to himself, not caring that his logic made no sense nor that people were giving him weird looks.

Izaya started to analyze his situation now that he had cheered himself up. Heiwajima Shizuo was always a creature Izaya couldn't completely figure out but he was a simple man who walked a straight path. His recent behaviors have changed dramatically and though Izaya couldn't understand any of it right now, it must be something simple to figure out.

So basic, that Izaya was missing the bigger picture.

Heiwajima Shizuo had started to control his anger around him. The fact that Izaya had lost that one control he had over Shizuo was very vexing. Irritating. In fact, it was worse than just a small annoyance. It was like a small thorn that dug in deeply into his heart as time went by.  
 _  
Why did he lose that one control he had over Shizuo?_

Izaya gritted his teeth as he finally reached his building and quietly entered his elevator.

A small ding, and he arrived to his flat. The eerie deja vu hit him once more as the door opened. He almost expected to see Shizuo sitting down on the floor, leaning against the door.

But the hallway was empty, devoid of any human presence.

He sighed glumly as he opened the door to his place. Only silence greeted him.

Izaya generally didn't mind the silence. But that day, a strange loneliness slapped him on the face hard. He could always go online and chat or check out the latest rumors in the dollars boards. But he didn't feel like doing any of these things.

Instead Orihara Izaya did something he had not done in years.

He kicked off his shoes and went to bed early, not caring about what was going on with his beloved humans in Ikebukuro.

* * *

Tom fidgeted as he glanced as his tall kouhai.

For several hours he was staring at the sky and sighing.

Last time he was depressed like this was... few weeks ago? When he asked about Awakusu-kai.

That scared Tom quite a bit, wondering if Shizuo had gotten mixed up with something dangerous.

But nothing came out of it so Tom thought it was alright.

However, now Shizuo was back to sighing at the sky as he stared into nothing in particular.

"Shizuo?" Tom asked tentatively, hoping he won't be setting off a time bomb. "Are you okay?"

Shizuo nodded.

"If you want, I can listen." Tom suggested.

Shizuo shook his head.

"Nah, it's okay Tom senpai. I think... I've decided."

"Oh? What did you decide?"

"I think... I'll give up on Izaya."

Tom blinked. Carefully he asked, "Give up... on Izaya?"

"Yeah..." Shizuo blew out the smoke lazily as the hazy film mingled with air and disappeared. "I think it's for the best."

Now Tom was very confused. Last time he had seen Orihara Izaya, he was half-way nude as he clung to Shizuo and shut the door on him.

Tanaka Tom was a reasonable and logical guy. He knew who to trust and where to lay his loyalty. If his kouhai always hated Izaya and since he always knew that Izaya was well renowned for being a troll, it didn't even cross his mind that Shizuo and Izaya had slept together that night. It was obvious to him that Izaya had somehow blackmailed him and/or was creating a blackmail material with Tom as the witness. Or perhaps Izaya had wanted to just make the situation awkward and make Shizuo's life miserable.

Either way, Tom knew better than to trust what he saw or rather, what Izaya wanted Tom to see. He believed in Shizuo and one concrete unshakable fact was:

Heiwajima Shizuo hated Orihara Izaya's guts.

This was suppose to be an irreversible truth. Like how the sun always rose from the east and would set on the west. Like how one could never chase to the end of the rainbow. Like how oil and water could never mix.

But here was Heiwajima Shizuo talking about giving up on Orihara Izaya.

"Give... up?" Tom asked hesitantly. He didn't understand what Shizuo was giving up. Would he give up his hatred for the man? Their twisted relationship where Shizuo would blow up in anger at the sight of him? Or was there something more?

What had Orihara Izaya do that day? Tom could not help but wonder again why that informant was there half nude at Shizuo's apartment and how Shizuo didn't immediately punch him out the door.

And Tom had clearly seen those kiss marks too.

At first, Tom believed they were fake since he believed in Shizuo and wouldn't ever want to betray his trust by believing in Izaya's lies but... now Tom wasn't sure what to believe.

'Calm down Tom. Just be patient and listen to Shizuo. I'm sure he'll eventually tell me the truth.' Tom thought to himself. The worst thing he could do right now was somehow fall prey into Izaya's trap. And he would never do that, especially for his sake as well as his kouhai's.

"Hey, how about we just call it a day." Tom offered when Shizuo was silent for too long.

"We've been taking too many breaks, Tom-senpai."

'Well that's partially your fault...' Tom thought to himself, but he smiled instead and shrugged.

"We'll work harder on getting back those debts tomorrow. I'm starving. How about Russia Sushi? Eh?"

* * *

_Bakyura-san has just joined the chat._

Setton  
Good evening! Ah, wait perhaps it's still afternoon.

Tanaka Taro  
Good afternoon Bakyura-san. Yes it's rather a vague time isn't it.

Bakyura  
Cheers.

Kyo  
Oh look, it's Mr. Playboy who likes his whistle blown.

Mai  
Good evening.

Bakyura  
Wait, WHY is my whistle STILL being talked about?

Gaki  
Good afternoon. Correct terminology would be 'good evening' after 6pm I believe. But I don't believe it really matters.

Bakyura  
Ah... thanks? Oh hey who's the new guy?

Kyo  
Oh my, Gaki-san truly knows what he's talking about. To be able to say so with such pin-point accuracy and boldness, I say he's definitely making a strong impression of himself in this chat room early on.

Mai  
Yes. Smart-ass.

Mai  
Ow!

Kyo  
Ah, please ignore my sister. She's quite the potty mouth. I will make sure to wash her teeth with soap tonight.

Mai  
Mean.

Saika  
Please don't fight.

Kyo  
Oh we're not fighting. We're just...

* * *

"Masaomi is online again? You're such an addict." Saki giggled as she leaned on his shoulder and watched. Kida smiled wryly as he typed into his cellphone.

"I'm just gathering information for Izaya-san."

"Why? He's online. See?" Saki pointed at Izaya sitting on his desk, leaning his chin on his palm as he too stared at his computer screen.

Normally Izaya would have a Cheshire cat grin on his face, but he looked lifeless all day.

Kida sighed.

"Not sure what's wrong with Izaya-san today but he doesn't seem to be feeling well."

"True. He haven't told his sisters to leave the chat huh." Saki chimed in. For a girl who doesn't use the internet much, she always seem to know a lot of information.

"Masaomi-kun." Izaya said out loud. Everyone in the room jumped at the commanding yet bored voice. Everyone was edgy all day because their employer was in a foul mood.

"Saki. And Namie-san. We're gonna go eat dinner." Izaya got up with a finality in his voice.

"Dinner?" Namie asked, while in the middle of organizing the paper works that Saki and Kida had brought in that day.

"Yes. Dinner. I'm in the mood for sushi." Izaya said.

Saki smiled and whispered to Kida, "Guess he wants to cheer himself up with ootoro and doesn't want to be alone."

"I know that shhh!" Kida whispered back. He quickly typed on his phone.

* * *

Bakyura  
Ah sorry, gotta go! Smell ya all later!

_Bakyura-san has just left the chat.  
_

Kyo  
Smell us? But that's quite literally impossible over the intern... ah he's left already. Darn.

_Kanra-san has just left the chat.  
_

Kyo  
Ah? Kanra-san was here too and just left as well?

Tanaka Taro  
I didn't even realize Kanra-san was online. Kanra-san was so quiet.

Setton  
That's pretty unusual. Usually we can't stop Kanra-san from chattering away.

Mai  
Sick?

Kyo  
Oooh, the world is coming to an end if Kanra-san loses the ability to gossip with us the latest news of Ikebukuro!

Saika  
Maybe Kanra-san just got disconnected... it happens to me all the time.

Gaki  
Haha. Saika-san's always so cute...

* * *

"OOoh! Shi-Zu-Oh! Frown is bad for customer! No customer, we lose business! No business, then live on the streets! Streets cold! Frown cold!"

"That... makes no sense Simon." Shizuo frowned harder at Simon's 'lame' attempt at Japanese.

"Well, I think it's the rain that's keeping the customers from venturing out to eat today..." Tom noted as he looked out the entrance. Tom and Shizuo were sitting at the bar as they waited Dennis to prepare their sushi. There were barely any customers, but all of them knew better than to sit next to the blond man in bartender outfit. The gloomy skies darkened even quicker with the gathering clouds as the storm started to brew rapidly.

"Even more reason! Frown keep sun away! No sun, no business! Smile Shi-Zu-Oh!" Simon continued his terrible Japanese.

"Thanks but I'm fine." Shizuo waved him off. He broke his chopsticks and frowned when instead of splitting it into two, his fingers gripped it too hard and snapped it into halves.

"Here," Tom said as he quickly switched chopsticks with Shizuo. His own was already broken into a neat set. "You can use mine."

"Thank you, Tom-san." Shizuo said with a sigh which clearly indicated that he was just having an exhaustive bad day.

"Not at all." Tom said as he snapped himself a new pair. He lightly tapped on his green tea cup. It was still scorching hot. Tom was impressed how the boiling liquid hadn't melted the glass yet. Tom half wondered how in the world Simon could even hold them in his hands to place them in front of his customers.

Shizuo remained silent, still brooding over something quietly. Tom gauged his pros and cons as well as figuring out the timing before he finally spoke, "Did you want to talk about it?"

"Huh?" Shizuo half spoke, while his brain was still half listlessly swimming in empty air.

"You said… you were… giving up on… Izaya?" Tom approached the delicate problem like an experienced bomb diffuser.

"Ah, yeah." Shizuo was still staring blankly in front of him, which was just Dennis making their plate of nigiri.

"... care to explain?" Again, Tom asked as lightly and gently as possible.

"Yeah... ...I think I'm tired." Shizuo nodded as he sipped his green tea. Again, Tom wondered where and which planet Simon and Shizuo had come from to be able to drink the boiling lava.

"Tired… of?" Tom knew he was approaching the sensitive topic now.

"Izaya."

"..." Tom forced himself to swallow his sigh. He came back to square one. It didn't explain to him at all why Shizuo was tired of Orihara Izaya. Wasn't he  _always_  angry at him?

No. He was always  _angry_  at him but that didn't mean he was necessary  _tired_  of...

Tom's thought broke once Simon placed their plates of assorted nigiri.

"To-ro, sa-keh, sah-ba, eh-bi, ha-ma-chi, un-a-gi, and…" Simon placed another wooden plate in front of Shizuo. "Ta-ma-goh for Shi-zu-oooh~"

"Ah… thank you, Simon." Tom said as he looked at his plate.

"Uhh, Simon, where's the tako?" Tom asked when he realized, he was missing one. Instead he had a sausage, wrapped in nori, cut into a small octopus shape with a smiley face painted on it with the eel sauce.

"Oo! Tako out! But! No fear! We have special tako today!"

Tom sighed as he picked up his chopsticks to eat. "We're not in grades school anymore, Simon..."

 

Signing even deeper, he thought how this small piece of sausage will cost the same as a tako nigiri. It was worse than a highway robbery.

But then, Tom had a better idea.

He picked up his tako 'nigiri' and placed it on Shizuo's plate. The blond, in the middle of chewing on one of his eggroll sushi looked over at his senpai, his eyes questioning his move.

"You can have mine. Remember how we used to share lunch up at the rooftop?"

"Oh yeah… I remember you did always have those tako in your lunch boxes… the ones your mother always made?"

Tom nodded. "And you used to always buy melonpan and milk."

Shizuo lightly chuckled in memory, which was a good sign, Tom noted. He was slowly drifting away from that blank look that was on his face. Tom figured if he wouldn't be able to find out what was the problem, at least he could help his kouhai recover from it. Regardless of what it was, the cause and the source was always the same: Orihara Izaya. Whatever it was, it probably wasn't anything good. Tom didn't really feel the need to know the rest and started to focus on making his friend laugh a little. The poor guy was miserable enough as he was.

"I don't know… I don't think Simon's tako is gonna taste as good as your mom's cooking, Tom-san." Shizuo jested as he fingered the nori on the tako. The light grip made the tako pop up a bit as if he was trying to struggle free from the hold.

"Give it a try. Let me know if you feel sick, I'll call for an ambulance." Tom smirked.

"With all due respect,  _dear sir_ " Dennis said as he leaned forward and smiled, "I can guarantee that it's fresh and not…"

"Oh Shi-Zu-Oh! No worry! We not use human meat! Authentic Japanese only!" Simon piped up from behind.

"That…'s very reassuring Simon," Shizuo's smile grew to a slightly larger grin as he waved off the bad joke, except Simon didn't look like he was joking.

"But it's true Shi-Zu-Oh! We use only Fresh Japanese!"

Tom groaned, "You're only making it worse Simon." Then he flashed a grin at his kouhai. "So, think your iron stomach can still handle weird sausages?"

"Tom-senpai, your mom's sausages were not that bad." Shizuo grinned.

"They were  _horrendous_ , what are you talking about?" Tom made a gesture with his hands.

Shizuo laughed out loud as he remembered how Tom used to do that back in middle school too. Shizuo took the tako bravely and popped in his mouth. And chewed.

Tom looked over incredulously. "Still feeling fine?"

"Mmfmm…" Shizuo chewed slower, tasting the food as his eyes look above him, thinking.

After he swallowed, he said, "it wasn't bad."

"… that means I probably shouldn't have had that. Considering you  _liked_  my mom's sausages, I'm worried about the flavor of that sausage you just ate."

Shizuo couldn't help smiling fondly at his kind senpai's grumbling tone as he started to pick on his nigiri. He knew that Tom had gone out of his way to cheer him up and Shizuo indeed did feel better.

"Hey Tom-san…" Shizuo was about to speak when he looked up upon hearing new customers arriving to the Russia Sushi.

Shizuo's face froze as his eyes stared in shock at the fur trimmed hoodie he knew from anywhere.

Izaya stood at the entrance, his face in shock as his little group stood behind him with their backs turned as they shook the water off their umbrellas, not yet noticing the chaotic nature of the situation inside the restaurant that was worse than the upcoming storm outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> I think most people should know all the chat people's names but just for reference:
> 
> Setton – Celty  
> Tanaka Taro – Mikado  
> Saika - Anri  
> Kanra – Izaya  
> Kyo – Kururi  
> Mai – Mairu  
> Gaki – Akabayashi  
> Bakyura – Kida
> 
> (And yeah I know Akabayashi only joins after Kanra goes 'missing' and Chrome joins but I decided to write it this way. )


	34. Chapter 34

Orihara Izaya refused to admit that he was in a bad mood.

Because he was never the problem. Everything else was.

For example. The bad rainy, gloomy weather.

Orihara Izaya normally enjoyed rain. Rain was a necessary and fundamental essence of life. And Izaya loved life.

Except today, Izaya didn't appreciate the wind that smacked him on the head nor the rain pellets that bulleted his face. Most people would have stayed home but he  _really_  wanted ootoro right now and refused to eat alone.

It did slightly cheer him up to see his co-workers partially miserable due to the windy rainy weather.

However, once arriving at Russia Sushi, Izaya froze at the entrance upon mid-entering. The chattering behind him faded into the distance as he stared in shock.

He wasn't shocked at seeing Heiwajima Shizuo at the restaurant.

No, rather.

Izaya was more shocked at seeing Shizuo's smile.

No, to be more precise.

Izaya was angry that Shizuo was smiling at Tom with a brilliant and a beautiful smile.

Exactly the same one Shizuo gave to Tom that one morning.

Jealousy flowed through his veins like poison as his shocked expression shifted into a mocking smirk. How dared Shizuo say things like  _"You're mine,"_  yet give someone else such a charming smile?

'Oh right. Shizuo  _forgot._ ' Izaya scoffed in his head. Regardless, even if he was drunk, Shizuo had once said it to him. And meant it, or at least Izaya thought he did.

"I-Za-Yah! Come in! Was telling Shi-Zu-Oh, our meat is fresh Japanese!" Simon welcomed his guests without looking one bit worried about how the new décor his restaurant might be sporting within the next five minutes. Especially with the incoming typhoon that was gathering inside.

Tom immediately looked up and his eyes nearly popped out at seeing Izaya.

Izaya smirked wider to know he still had that effect on someone.

However, Shizuo scowled, which only angered Izaya even more.

'So,  _Tom-san_  gets a smile and  _I_  get a frown huh?' Izaya thought to himself.

"Izaya-san, why aren't you going insi…" Saki paused as she looked around her employer.

"Oh my," she said.

"What's going on? Why are we…" Kida paused too when he saw who was sitting at the bar.

Namie groaned. "Great. New location?" She said, immediately hoping they could avoid the chaos that was bound to happen regardless of whether or not they ran now.

"No. We're staying." Izaya said with determination as he walked inside.

The others still stood near the entrance, quickly conversing to each other silently with their eyes filled with worry.

"Did you want the usual place?" Dennis asked, meaning the private room that Izaya usually preferred.

"No.  _This_  is fine," Izaya said as he sat  _right next to Heiwajima Shizuo_.

Namie wondered what she should do. She should sit near the exit just to secure her escape route, but the one who took the seat to the nearest exit was Tom. Then next to him was Shizuo. Of course, next to the monster of Ikebukuro was none other than the initiator of all chaos himself, Orihara Izaya. Sitting anywhere  _near_  those two when they were together was just suicidal.

Before Namie could decide, Saki trailed behind Izaya, half-skipping with bubbling excitement as she sat next to Izaya. Her face clearly indicated that she was curious of how this meeting will turn out and wanted to sit in the front row.

Kida sighed as he followed behind her and sat next to her out of obligation.

Namie's shoulders dropped as she walked silently with whatever dignity she had left and aloofly sat at the end of the row. Though she was far from the exit, her mind was busily figuring out possible escape routes.

Because everyone would be madly dashing for the exit soon, she was very sure of it.

"The usual?" Dennis asked as he wiped his hand with a white wet cloth to prepare to roll more sushi. His expression did not show any sign of anxiety.

Namie and Kida wondered if everyone else were insane except them, or perhaps they were the abnormal ones if everyone could calmly eat while the two great forces of Ikebukuro sat next to each other in one place.

"Ah, yes. The usual for me please. As for my dear co-workers, they can order whatever they please." Izaya said nonchalantly, with his hand flipping in the air in a slightly offhanded manner.

Kida and Saki shared a menu as Namie indifferently looked at hers. Both Namie and Kida were wondering how they could sit quietly and eat while they could see the impending doom in front of them. Saki on the other hand, seemed to have no problem quickly going over the sushi list and checking off what she wanted. Seeing her carefree attitude, Kida and Namie went ahead and checked off what they wanted, though both weren't sure if they were going be eating anything from their order.

While ordering their food and giving the lists back to Dennis, all their ears were focused on the conversation that was going on to their left.

"So, Shizu-chan. Fancy seeing you here."

"…"

Tom had to admit, he had expected Shizuo to immediately break off the wooden surface of the bar and throw it at the infamous informant. However, Shizuo remained quiet and was focused on eating his tamago sushi.

"Ah~ The  _silent treatment._  I just  _looooove_  those, don't you Tom-san?" Izaya leaned over and smiled at Shizuo's co-worker as he broke off his chopsticks. He frowned when it broke off unevenly.

Ignoring the informant, Tom was already working on diffusing the bomb that was 1 second away from exploding. "Ah, Shizuo. Did you want to change location?"

"No, this is fine Tom-san." Shizuo replied normally to Tom, though he refused to look at Izaya's direction.

Feeling completely ignored, Izaya looked a bit miffed briefly as he shaved his wooden chopsticks of splinters as he rubbed the edges together. But it didn't last very long as he quickly smiled again and continued to prattle.

"Eating just tamago? My, Shizu-chan. Your taste in food is so childish. Always eating childish things like sweets."

Izaya smirked when Shizuo's eyebrow twitched and a vein popped out near his temple. Tom's eyes however did the opposite as he quickly tried to change the subject.

"Ah, I like tamago sushi too however. Besides, things like takoyaki and such are confectionaries enjoyed by all ages."

Izaya did not like how this man knew exactly how to counter him so Shizuo did not reach his berserker meter. He impassively responded to this by waving a hand to get Dennis' attention.

"Dennis, please order the same set for the gentlemen to my left."

"Yes, sir." Dennis said as he prepared the two extra plates of 'Izaya's usual' for Tom and Shizuo.

"Ah? There's no need to…" Tom started, but Izaya cut him off.

"Not a problem. It'll be my treat." Izaya grinned widely.

And all too quickly, Dennis prepared the exact same set of sushi for Tom, Shizuo and Izaya and Simon placed the orders in front of them consecutively.

Tom grimaced. This really only spelled trouble. In front of him was a wooden block with assortment of sushi. A row of just six ootoro, a set of giant clam, and a set of sea urchin.

'There's no way Shizuo would want to eat these…' Tom thought to himself as he tried to think of a way out of this situation.

However, Izaya didn't look satisfied at his plate.

"What are the specials today, Dennis?" Izaya asked.

"Today's special would be the fatty belly of salmon."

"Grade A?" Izaya smirked arrogantly.

"Of course." Dennis nodded modestly.

"That too then." Izaya waved his little magical hand that seemed to get him whatever he wanted right now.

"Yes, sir." Dennis went back to his knives.

Tom could feel the cold sweat on his back as he racked his brain to stop this hurricane cloud gathering.

"I want that too Simon!" Saki chipped in.

"Saki!" Kida gestured worriedly.

"More sushi good!" Simon smiled as he took their order.

"Of course~ whatever my dear Saki wants." Izaya confirmed happily.

"Yay!" Saki seemed to cheer. Kida groaned. Saki was a natural cheerleader for Izaya.

"Are you saying, I can't eat this stuff?" Shizuo finally turned to face Izaya, his jaw rigid with held-back anger.

"I don't know, can you?" Izaya shrugged as he took his fatty tuna and placed it on his tongue, slowly chewing it with relish. "Mmm… good as always," he said with a mouthful.

"I don't need to prove you anything," Shizuo continued, while Tom was carefully watching the situation to see if he needed to jump in. Namie got her dish and started to eat quietly in her corner, not looking to her left but definitely ready to jump out once the fight starts. Kida got his plate but didn't dare to touch it while his stomach was knotted with anxiety.

Saki on the other hand played conversation tag partners with Izaya just the way he wanted.

"But it's very good," she chimed in. Kida was now more worried for Saki's life than anyone else's in the restaurant. (Since he never cared for Izaya's life to begin with)

"That it is my young padawan Saki-chan. The way the fat melts on your tongue, why it's the bacon of the sea. Try it Shizu-chan." Izaya took another piece and ate it.

"Well everyone's picky with their food," Tom quickly intervened right there. "Thank you for the meal but I don't think we can accept this." Tom did not touch the sushi seeing that Shizuo did not either.

Izaya smiled, though in his mind he really didn't like this man who kept interfering with his plan. Regardless, he loved all humans, since no one else could truly interfere with his plans more than Shizu-chan. If this Tom thought he could play the game to his level, Izaya was willing to accept the challenge.

"No, I insist. Like how all babies must be weaned from breast feeding, Shizu-chan too should learn to understand the more adult taste in the world."

Tom's mouth dropped as he tried to think of something to counter that. Before Tom could even stammer a reply, Saki piped up, "One for Izaya-san."

" _Saki!_ " Kida exclaimed in exasperation, though he said it just barely above a whisper in fear of angering the god of violence sitting two seats away from him.

"But Tom-san's losing right no-" Saki started to speak out but Kida clamped her mouth with a nervous laughter.

Tom felt a huge headache forming. He feared more of the silent Shizuo whose expression remained unchanged and unreadable behind his shades.

"I don't believe a certain type of sushi is considered more 'adult' or not, rather it's matter of taste and preference. Things such as sea urchins are an acquired taste quite like various wines and beer." Tom continued as he faced Izaya. Tom really didn't understand why Shizuo did not erupt yet and he was still unsure if this was better or worse. But while he had the chance, he tried to appease Shizuo the best and leave without causing wreck.

Izaya bantered back just as smoothly like an expert he was. He didn't need to always stab and dive into one topic when he could spread out and attack from various directions.

"Ah yes, wine and beer. That's another list of decadence we haven't touched upon. Simon, the wine list please?"

Tom looked dumbfounded as menus were thrust into his face.

"Now then Shizu-chan. We really should find a wine of your choice, don't you think so? There's several lists of filtered and unfiltered sake that goes with specific sushi here…" Izaya pointed as he moved  _even closer_  to Shizuo. Tom blinked at such a bold move.

Shizuo remained silent behind his shades as Izaya continued to prattle about the wine list that everyone knew Shizuo did not like. Tom  _knew_ that an expert informant such as Izaya must know that Shizuo only drank fruity sweet alcohol.

"So… you're saying… I can't drink any of these either." Shizuo finally commented.

"Only you know that Shizu-chan~ Tell me. Can you drink these?" Izaya smirked as he looked up at him.

Watching those two, Kida had to admit, Izaya-san had guts.

'Seriously. That's the man who can destroy buildings and cities when he goes on a rampage. Snapping a human neck won't take even a split second.' Kida gulped as he watched them, his body muscles sore from being tensed for so long. And poor Namie on the other side had a screaming headache as her entire attention was to her left side. She tried not to see what was going on as her bold front, yet she was scared out of her wits and was ready to bolt the moment the fight broke out.

"Not interested." Shizuo said as he closed the menu and put it above the counter.

"Pity, you're missing out Shizu-chan~" Izaya shrugged as ate another piece of sushi.

"I… think it's time for us to leave," Tom said as he got up. "And it's alright, I'll pay for our meal." Though in the back of his mind, Tom cried about the state of his wallet but that was the least of his worries right now. Right now, they really needed to get out of here before one of the two great forces of Ikebukuro caused serious extensive damage.

It was already a miracle that nothing was broken in the restaurant yet.

"Aww, already? But Shizu-chan haven't had a piece of ootoro yet." Izaya chimed as he leaned further and picked up the piece of ootoro from Shizuo's wooden block.

To everyone's shock, Izaya held the small morsel right above Shizuo's lips, as if daring him to bite it.

"Try it Shizu-chan." Izaya's eyes slit into a sadistic grin. "I promise you a  _heaven_ ," Izaya emphasized as he licked his own lips and smirked. "Like you've never tasted before."

Shizuo still faced forward, though his eyes behind his blue shades looked to his right toward his enemy with crimson blood eyes who fearlessly stared back at him.

Tom, Saki, Kida and Namie could tell already that they were lost in their own world in that instant as Shizuo and Izaya's eyes met and was locked to each other.

The one to break this electrifying intensity was a booming voice of broken Japanese.

"Fatty Sake (salmon)! A set for everyone!" Simon said as he placed a small plate of fatty salmon belly, almost white with fat save for small sliver of pink, next to everyone's plate as he walked in between them.

"Also order sake (the alcohol) yes? Sake for everyone!"

"Simon… we're underage…" Kida sort of reminded him as Simon walked around again as he poured a small cup of sake.

Izaya's shoulders dropped as he rolled his eyes at the tall black Russian when the tension in the atmosphere broke. Then Izaya said something in Russian to Simon with an annoyed tone that no one else understood.

Simon said something back to Izaya in Russian which again no one understood save for Dennis. Simon's tone was grave, even as his smile indicated otherwise.

Izaya pouted as he lowered his sushi in his hand and started to fire away in Russian when Shizuo finally snapped and grabbed Izaya's wrist which held the sushi.

Izaya's eyes quickly reverted back to the blond as Shizuo glared down at him menacingly.

"So, you are telling me…" Shizuo said as his grip tightened. Izaya winced and dropped the sushi he was holding. "That basically, I'm a kid." Shizuo's lips split into a horrifyingly scary grin as his eyes practically flashed lasers behind his shades.

"Took you that long to figure it out, Shizu-chan?" Izaya smirked right back at him.

And that was when all hell broke loose.

The whole place crashed with flying chairs, desks, wooden bar counter, the sushi, sashimi, tea cups and pots, the window, a stray cat, pillars, cushions, stools, random woman's handbag, and other objects as the smoke crowded everyone's vision. There was a random flash of flickering reflection from a switchblade along with Simon's open palm that blocked the berserker's pummeling punches. There were screaming of women, cries of young children, holler from men and everyone coughing as they all tried to find an exit despite the white clouds of smoke that exploded inside the small restaurant with walls and ceilings breaking apart within seconds.

"IIIIZAAAYAAAA~!"

The shout filled the hearts of everyone with petrifying fear save for the two Russians in the restaurant, who calmly took the man-made tornado inside their establishment like any other natural disasters.

There was a sound of laughter as Izaya ran out of the fast deteriorating building. Ran from the intense heat of the fight and the clouds of smoke and out into the cool air of another natural disaster outside. The cold, harsh wind and rain immediately splattered all over Izaya's face and body as he ran, closely chased by the blond incarnate of violence and rage.

"Shizu-chan's still a  _child~_  if you get angry so easily~" Izaya teased as he ran up the stairs of the escape shoot next to the wall of building in the alleyway.

"Fuck you louse!" Shizuo shouted as he grabbed the rail of the stairs and tore it apart. Izaya held onto the wall to keep balance as the stairs he was on started to break loose. He wobbled a bit before he regained his balance.

"Bad move, Shizu-chaaan~" Izaya smirked as he hopped from one of the stairs onto the next building's stairs and scampered up like a squirrel.

"Fuck!" Shizuo realized that he would never catch him if he kept breaking the stairs upward. He jumped and grabbed onto the stairs and chased up after the parkour expert.

Izaya jumped from one building to another, scuttling and scurrying up the rails and rooftops, scrambling up the windows and ledges. Shizuo was like a juggernaut, his jumps long and wide, his landing booming like a thunder or like how a meteor landed, creating a small crater around his feet.

The rainwater was slippery as Izaya dashed away in zigzags, his eyes trained even in the dark to find the 'line' he needed to follow and his muscles already knowing the layout of Ikebukuro by heart. He jumped over his obstacles with a light effortless hop of a bunny. Oor rather, he sometimes used the obstacles to help him climb up or throw them in the path of the juggernaut chasing behind him. For a normal person, running in a zigzag and diagonals would be slower than running a straight line, but for a pakour master, it was faster to use these invisible shortcuts that only he could see and use them to their fullest potential.

Shizuo on the other hand, was an expert Izaya chaser. He wasn't much of a pakour master who could see lines. All he saw was, as always, Izaya. The goal he needed to maul over. He didn't have to follow the lines exactly like Izaya. If he did, he would always be behind. Using his massive strength, Shizuo didn't have to jump in smaller hops but bulldozed his way in a straighter line toward his goal.

"Tsk, you have no finesse, Shizu-chan~" Izaya said as he looked back at the human natural disaster chasing after him. Izaya had grace and speed. Shizuo was strength and destruction.

Finally Izaya came up on top of one of the taller buildings, not quite as tall as a skyscraper, but tall enough. As he ran fast to pick up speed before he jumped to the next roof, the rain made his shoes hydroplane briefly as he tripped.

' _Shit…_ ' Izaya said to himself as he lost his footing briefly and fell to the harsh floor.

"HA! Fucking louse, I caught you!" Shizuo shouted as he flung himself on top of Izaya. Grabbing him by the hoodie, both rolled and wrestled on the floor until the stronger of the latter pinned the slender man to the ground.

They panted as they stared into each other's eyes, their clothes sticking to their skin and their hair clinging to their faces.

There was only silence of their heavy breathing and the downpour of the hurricane.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> For those who wanted to know what Izaya said. (i don't know Russian so I couldn't write it in Russian lol...)
> 
> Izaya says to Simon "you did that on purpose'  
> -meaning the break in the tension.
> 
> and Simon goes "it's time you need to be weaned from your mother's milk and grow up too, Izaya"
> 
> and Izaya obviously goes "whut? I'm already mature! Shizu-chan is the one who-" until Shizuo interrupts him.


	35. Chapter 35

"So," Izaya said, breaking the silence as the raindrops showered them with piercing bullets. "Are you actually going to kill me tonight? Or is it another baseless threat?"

Shizuo punched the floor next to Izaya's face, creating a small crater. Izaya didn't even flinch as he grinned right back at him. The blond leaned forward, his fist still impaled partially into the dented floor.

"Fuck you louse!" Shizuo shouted, his anger soaring higher. Seeing his condescending smirk only made him angrier as if Izaya's insanity was contagious. No one else would dare to smirk so arrogantly at Shizuo at the utmost peak of his rage unless they were insane.

"Well, you've already done that Shizu-chan. Or have your one-cell brain already forgotten that fact?" Izaya patted Shizuo's wet cheek in a patronizing manner.

"Damn your condescending, arrogant attitude! You think you're that high and mighty, standing above us all like we're nothing but  _insects_? You're nothing but a  _flea_  who think he can jump higher than all of us, but in the end you're fucking one of us!"

Izaya bristled a bit, hearing those words again repeated to him hurt, because it reminded Izaya of the day that Shizuo had given him the nickname 'flea' and why he had gotten it back in high school.

"Well what do you know about  _insects_  and  _humans_?  _YOU_  are nothing but a  _monster_  in human disguise. Who's ever heard of someone who can bend steel street sign poles like they're made out of rubber and punch through brick walls as if they're paper windows? I don't think you have any right to judge me,  _Heiwajima Shizuo-san!_ " Izaya practically spit out those words, fully knowing how much it would hurt Shizuo to hear them.

Shizuo's face grew red with anger and from Izaya's proximity, it was more than obvious that his life was in grave danger. But Izaya stubbornly refused to back down.

"Fucking flea!  _I_  have no right to judge you? Damn you louse! You fucking  _ruined_  my high school life and I got  _fired_  at my jobs and…!"

"It wasn't  _my_  fault that you couldn't control your own damn temper and got fired at…!"

"The hell! If you weren't in my class everyday, throwing shits at my face, I woulda eventually gotten better hold…!"

"HA! Me? What about  _you?_  Who's the one who said he hated me from the…!"

"The hell did I say that? Why the fuck do I have to like someone from the start? You started it by knifing..!"

" _I_  started it? I was just trying to be a friend, Shizu-chan~ Why so rough…"

"Friend?  _Friends_  don't  _knife_  each other nor do they  _frame_  them for murder or purposefully have an entire city's school gangs come after…!"

"Awww, you didn't like my present Shizu-chan? It was a token of my friendship."

"The hell is fucking  _wrong_  with you? Token of your friendship?  _FRIENDSHIP?_  So it's a friendship  _gift_  to get your  _friend_   _detention_  every Friday and…!"

"Hey, it wasn't  _my_ fault that you wanted to chase me down the school like a rabid rampaging bull while throwing chairs, tables, students and _even teachers_  at my face just to get even like some bully who can't…"

"It's fucking  _your fault to begin with_  why I can't fucking control my temper when I see your shit-eating face!"

"Don't interrupt me! And it certainly wasn't  _my fault_  when you blew up the science class…!"

"YOU ADDED MORE SULFUR TO MY PROJECT!"

"Ah… that I did. Oh hey Shizu-chan, so you knew I added more s…"

"OF COURSE I DID YOU FUCKING LOUSE? WHO ELSE WOULD…!"

"Well IF YOU  _KNEW_  then WHY DID YOU ADD MORE YOU DUMBASS?"

"I didn't know at the TIME until the damn thing BLEW UP ON MY FACE!"

"Well  _maybe_  you shouldn't be CHECKING OUT OUR SCIENCE TEACHER'S ASS then you  _might_  have realized that I…"

"The hell? I wasn't checking out on Konami-sensei's ASS you fucking…!"

"Of course you were! And I totally know you had a crush on Inoue-sensei because you would  _purposefully_ …!"

"Fuck you! So it  _was you_  who replaced my English homework with a fake confession letter? She called me to talk to her in private and explain to me why she couldn't fucking accept my feelings!"

"Ah… you didn't figure out it was me until now?"

"DAMN YOU LOUSE! I bet you laughed your fucking ass off when I had to have detention  _and_  write an apology essay!"

"Hey! You made me sit in your detention  _with you_  because you dragged me into your damn failures by chasing me aro…!"

"Well I WOULDN'T BE CHASING YOU DOWN IF YOU WERE INNOCENT NOW WOULD I, IZAYA-KUN?"

"I plead the fifth. You've got no evidence that I was the one behind  _all_  of your detentions, volunteer work, bad grades and…"

"You just SAID you framed me RIGHT NOW!"

"All hearsay. Also I'm being oppressed and under the pressure, forcing me to say thing that's untrue."

Shizuo gripped at the v-neckline of Izaya's shirt in anger, stretching the poor soaked shirt as they yelled at each other about their petty little past.

"Say whatever the hell you want,  _Izaya-kun_ , but I know for a fact that you were behind 99.9% of everything  _bad_  that has  _ever_  happened in my life after I met you. If this was just small trivial things like detention every fucking Friday, that's one thing. But giving me a  _criminal_  record and possibly trying to  _kill me_  every other day is quite another kind of a game, don't you think,  _Izaya-kun_?"

"And you're still angry about that? Tsk, tsk Shizu-chan. You've gotta learn to let go~" Izaya waved his hand dismissively and didn't seem to be too bothered by that Shizuo's hands were very close to choking him to death.

"Am I still angry I pinned that crime on you? Oh no, Izaya-kun. I ain't _mad_ , I just want to  _beat the living SHIT out of you_  that's all." Shizuo grinned menacingly, his vein throbbing dangerously near his temple.

"Shizu-chan. Threat to one's endangerment in life is definitely a crime. Also, your little  _beatings_  would be considered as the normal society's standard of  _attempt to murder_  and definitely a first degree of cr…"

"Oh and it's  _not_  a crime to frame me for murder? Speaking of  _crimes_  I believe it's  _you_  who's deep into yakuza affairs and…!"

"Awakusu-kai is a legit business." Izaya huffed as he defended himself. Though to Shizuo it sounded more like he was defending a certain someone else in white suits.

"Legit business my ass! How long have you been his slut?"

"His  _WHAT?_ " Izaya stiffened as if he was slapped in the face.

"You fucking well know what I'm talking about you fucking whore! I bet you slept with the whole fucking headquarter!"

Izaya's face flushed with rage.

"I did  _not_  sleep around with just random assholes, Shizu-chan. I know the meaning of 'whores' and I'm certainly  _not_  a slut!"

"You still haven't answered me!" Shizuo's grip around the shirt tightened. "How long did you have that damn asshole  _fuck_  you?"

They glared at each other in silence as the wind howled in fury.

Izaya gritted his teeth. 'Why is the topic back at  _Shiki_  again?' he growled as he glared at Shizuo, refusing to answer questions about his private life to him. 'Why do I have to tell him about my fucking sex life? What right does he have to ask that? He always blames me for having sex with Shiki-san! He has no reasons to…!'

Then a certain realization hit Izaya. His eyes widened briefly and Shizuo's growl shifted to a slightly confused scowl as he watched Izaya's expression change.

'Shizu-chan... is jealous.' Izaya thought as certain things started to click together in his head. The fact that Shizuo had claimed the informant as  _his_  though he was drunk at the time made it more obvious to Izaya. Rather, the fact that Shizuo was drunk at the time made it even clearer of Shizuo's deeper inner thoughts he had been hiding.

'He's… jealous of Shiki-san!'

Izaya giggled lightly at first. Then it started to grow into laughter, louder and more obnoxious and mocking as he cackled insanely.

"The hell? Have you finally snapped and gone insane? Fucking answer me already!" Shizuo shook the young man who continued to laugh until he had tears in his eyes and had curled up, holding his aching stomach.

Finally settling to a light chuckle, Izaya peeked open one eye while he wiped away his tears.

"Hey Shizu-chan. Tell me."

His smirk grew wider.

"Are you... in love with me?"

Now it was Shizuo's turn to have his eyes widen in surprise. A slow flush dusted over his ears as his red cheeks grew redder, though this time it wasn't due to anger.

Shizuo's eyes shifted briefly before he looked at Izaya's blithe ones and said with an accusing, yet hesitant tone, "…are you?"

"I asked first." Izaya retorted back smugly.

Shizuo shifted uncomfortably, realizing his position as he stiffly straddled the man under him. They were awkwardly close. Too close.

The blond thought back to everything that had happened within the span of two weeks. Had it only been two weeks? It felt like months had passed between the time he received the unknown sender's package of DVDs until now. Within these two weeks, Shizuo had fucked this man he thought he hated, watched him lie all pale and sick in the hospital due to injuries he had caused, see him in a new light as he wore cute yet kinky maid, kitty lingerie outfits, ate his delicious egg sandwich, felt pain as he heard him have sex with someone else, saw him nude and felt strangely turned on, had hotpot with him and had a  _great time_  for the first time with the man, had fights that escalated to something he didn't even know what meant, decided to give up on… whatever it was he was trying to save or hold on to because it hurt too much and now he had him pinned under him on a rooftop while there was a hurricane blasting through the city while they parkoured through it like maniacs who didn't know better.

Two weeks. It all happened in the span of two weeks.

So many things had changed within these two weeks compared to the odd 7-8 years they've known each other.

All because some wise-guy had sent a DVD of Izaya moaning Shizuo's name while he was being fucked senseless.

In the end, Shizuo didn't ever get to know why Izaya was moaning his name while Shiki was having sex with him.

Didn't Izaya… have feelings for him?

Or did he not?

Confusion settled on Shizuo's face as he tried to sort out the conflicted and mixed emotions that swirled inside him. The silence along with the blond's confused expression made Izaya anxious as he waited, his laughter dead as anxiety settled in his heart.

Shizuo swallowed and answered honestly.

"I… I don't know." Shizuo said. Because he truly didn't know why he was feeling this pain of seeing Izaya with someone else. He didn't understand that the pain was jealousy. Nor could he figure out if he was lusting after Izaya for just the pleasure of sex or actually loved him.

Everything was convoluted and twisted. It didn't make any sense. And Shizuo honestly hated himself that he desired this man even though he dreaded and feared that he was fucking a man he didn't love, yet dreaded and feared that he loved this man whom he hated with his entire soul at the same time.

When Shizuo answered with an honest face, words that crushed Izaya's heart for the second time, the informant stared up at his ex-classmate dumbfounded.

He had expected Shizuo to say 'yes' for sure this time.

This time, he was so certain that Shizuo would say 'yes.'

But once again, Heiwajima Shizuo was a man Orihara Izaya could never predict.

Izaya's heart felt crushed for the second time, thinking that he could ever have trusted the brute. Why had he believed in this man when he already knew he shouldn't? Izaya didn't know the answer.

There was an irritated twitch on the corner of Izaya's eyes as anger swelled inside him as well as his urge for vengeance as his heart hardened even colder to protect himself.

Forcefully swallowing the stabbing pain that jabbed at his aching heart, Izaya smiled boldly as he hid his real face behind his mask once again.

"Oh really. So you do fuck people you don't love like an animal. I should have known monsters do that." Izaya shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. He clutched at his shirt near his heart however, trying to make the throbbing pain go away while he smirked back as condescendingly as possible.

Shizuo's confused eyes were quickly replaced in a snap as anger filtered through them.

"What was that?" Shizuo growled.

"I said," Izaya pulled himself up to sit as he slapped Shizuo's clutching hands away. Shizuo let go of the shirt mostly in shock as he watched the smaller man almost grow in size in front of him with livid fury. "I should have known that  _monsters_  like you fuck with people like animals."

"If you have a death wish  _Izaya_ ," Shizuo growled too, stubbornly refusing to back down, not realizing that Izaya was hurt and defending himself. "You can go right ahead and try to land a punch on me. Go ahead. I'll fucking rip you a new one!" Shizuo cracked his knuckles, ready for a good fight.

"No, Shizu-chan." Izaya shook his head, his almost-serene voice too calm and fake to be considered a peace talk. "I challenge you to something else. Another game perhaps."

"Game?" Shizuo scowled. "What the fuck are you planning now louse?"

Izaya smirked as he cupped Shizuo's face with his hands and sat up on his lap, his face above him as the blond was forced to look up.

"I  _will_  make you fall in love with me."

Shizuo blinked and his heart skipped a beat as he looked up at Izaya, his grin too menacing for those words to be a confession.

Something was off, Shizuo thought. Something was wrong and something was twisted. This wasn't a love confession at all but a challenge with a hidden intention sneaking behind it.

Shizuo stared up at him wordlessly for few seconds as Izaya's smug grin grew wider.

"You…" Shizuo started as he realized something. "You want to make me fall in love with you."

Izaya smirked as he cocked his head to one side in a conceited manner. Shizuo growled.

"And you have no intention of loving me back do you?"

"Of course not. Why should I love a monster to have you fall in love with me?" Izaya chuckled mockingly.

Shizuo's eyes flashed with rage as a low rumble grew into a thundering voice. "IIIIIZAAAAYAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Oops, gotta go." Izaya hopped off of Shizuo's lap and ran toward the exit.

"And that's a challenge Shizu-chan~" Izaya laughed as blithely as possible as he grabbed hold of one of the drain pipes and glided down as he held onto it.

'And Shizu-chan… this time… I'll show you exactly how it feels like to have your heart crushed too.' Izaya thought as his expression grew grim. Once he landed on the grounds he ran off, back toward Shinjuku. 'You owe me that much Shizu-chan. At  _least_  that much.'

Shizuo stood there as he watched Izaya dash off. He sighed as he lay back down on the floor of the rooftop, exhausted.

Everything was too twisted now. Nothing was straight.

Shizuo didn't know what to think anymore as he tiredly lay there all night as the atrocious storm passed by Ikebukuro.


	36. Chapter 36

"39°C… yep you definitely have a fever. Are you sure you don't need anything else?" Tom asked as he shook the thermometer after checking Shizuo's temperature.

Shizuo shook his head but stopped immediately. He felt dizzier and wanted to puke. And he really wished that the world would stop spinning.

He didn't feel the fever much but strangely he had problems moving his body that morning. So he laid in bed a bit longer and fell back to sleep until Tom had come to check in on him. His senpai was worried after what happened last night when Shizuo had run out of Russia Sushi chasing after Izaya.

Shizuo laid on his bed while a soothingly cool cloth was placed on his forehead.

"So you chased after Orihara all night in the crazy storm?" Tom asked as he pulled up the covers for his kouhai.

"Y-yeah…" Shizuo replied sheepishly.

"Really Shizuo. You should know better. Though granted, all of Ikebukuro would flip if they found out that the great Heiwajima Shizuo could be bedridden due to a simple cold." Tom had few more questions to ask but decided against it. His first priority was taking care of Shizuo, not to pry open his old wounds or his private life with Orihara Izaya.

"I can still work Tom-san! I…" Shizuo immediately got up despite the headache.

Tom placed his hand on Shizuo's chest and slowly pushed him down.

"Shizuo. There's a hurricane passing through until mid-afternoon today. I doubt we can go and collect any money until the storm passes. Just rest alright?" Tom frowned in concern then gave him a smirk. "What will I do with a partner who's too sick? It's best if you get better first."

Shizuo laid back down, feeling his ears heat up at the word 'partner.' He had always considered Tom to be his superior, not an equal 'partner' so hearing how his senpai referred to him made Shizuo feel warmer than he should.

Perhaps it was the cold that made him feel the heat.

"Now then, got something to eat? I'm not a good cook or anything but I think I can make something simple." Tom took off his suit jacket and folded up the sleeves of his shirt. He tied his dreadlocks back into a ponytail as he drifted off to the kitchen.

He quickly came back to peek through the door to say, "Ah, if you need anything, just holler. Got it?"

Shizuo nodded and watched as Tom disappeared again. There were some clatters in the kitchen along with few appreciating whistles and mumblings of "Wow, you actually stocked up on rice and vegetables? Do you cook often Shizuo? There's enough for another miso soup! Man… as a fellow bachelor, I'm ashamed of myself!"

Shizuo chuckled as he listened to his senpai make, or try to make, him something to eat. Shizuo felt slightly bittersweet at hearing Tom speak of the leftover food from the hotpot and the breakfast he made few days ago. It felt like it was something he had lost forever and could never recover anymore.

He wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep or how long he had slept but he woke up to a light smell of food.

"Ah, sorry. Did I wake you?" Tom's soft voice drifted into his ears as Shizuo stirred and opened his eyes.

Tom was carrying a tray of food and placed it on top of the nightstand. Shizuo blinked and stared. It was strange to see his senpai with his hair tied up and his sleeves rolled up. He smiled as he tried to sit up in bed.

"I felt kinda hungry." Shizuo said sheepishly.

"Well good. That's a good sign. Better than you not being hungry." Tom stirred the miso soup a bit with a spoon. "Not sure if a meal cooked by some old bachelor's gonna be any good but give it a try." Tom passed the miso soup to Shizuo to drink.

Shizuo stared at it for a second, feeling a strange reminiscence of two days ago when he had cooked the same meal for Izaya in the morning. He took the spoon and sipped on it.

"It's good Tom-san." Shizuo smiled as he sipped on it some more.

"Ha! You're just being nice." Tom laughed as sat on the bed now with his bowl of rice while he ate some of the pickles Shizuo had bought last time. "I didn't know you cooked home meals Shizuo. You really caught me by surprise there. Looks like you're all ready to be some lucky girl's husband. Oh and don't forget to take your medicine with your food."

"Tom-san's the one who's good at taking care of people." Shizuo smirked as he took a gulp of the soup when he found that it wasn't too hot.

"Haha. Me? Nah. I'm too laid back. Who'd want to marry an old man like me?" Tom chuckled as he ate.

Shizuo stopped eating as he stared at the miso soup wordlessly. Tom looked over and smiled.

"Hey, no brooding. Don't worry Shizuo. I'm sure you'll find a nice girl who can love you for who you are. You're a nice guy so I'm sure you'll find someone." Tom patted him on his head, his fingers lightly brushing the blond strands of the dyed hair. The hair Shizuo had dyed on Tom's advice back in middle school.

"Don't be an old stinky bachelor like me. Though until you find someone, I'm sure I'll stay by your side as an old grouchy bachelor asking you every day, 'so Shizuo! Have you found that special-someone yet?' like how those naggy moms do in T.V. shows."

Shizuo chuckled. "Tom-san, you're not planning to get married?"

Tom laughed along. "I don't think I'm the type to settle down any time soon. I'm too lazy to take care of a family."

"I think… you'd make a good father." Shizuo said softly as he looked up at him.

"You think so? Hmmm… I think I'd be a poor father though. I'm not good at family sorta things or know what to do when the situation gets bad. I just sit back and wait until it all blows over." A small sad smile formed across the dreadlock haired man's lips. "I'm probably just too cowardly to have a family."

Shizuo didn't say anything as he looked at his senpai. 'But… Tom-senpai…' Shizuo thought to himself. 'You've saved me so many times because of your pacifistic and patient personality.' When Shizuo was growing up and going through puberty, he asked himself  _why_  he was different from other kids, why only  _he_  had to suffer through these problems no one else went through, Tom was always there for him to give him laughter and pull him through those depressions. Tom had showed him how one can just sit back and let the anger blow through you, try to be more peaceful, and be lazy as you look at the clear blue sky and think to yourself, 'today wasn't that bad Shizuo. Think of all the things you  _do_  have that others don't.'

Those encouraging words had helped Shizuo throughout his life as he cherished what he did have such as his brother Kasuka.

Tom gave Shizuo a playful laugh as he said, "I know what you're thinking, you naughty boy."

"E-eh?" Shizuo's face flushed bright red at Tom leaning forward as he said those words with those coy eyes.

"I bet…" Tom's eyes twinkled. "You were thinking…"

"Wa-wait! I wasn't thinking of any naughty…" Shizuo's face grew redder as he tried to think of a way to explain himself. He was just reminiscing his past with Tom. He swore he wasn't thinking of any dirty thoughts of how he sort of wished that Tom had liked him in a certain way…

"…that you'll get away with not taking your cold medicine. That's no good Shizuo. You should take your medicines properly." And with that, Tom popped a pill into Shizuo's mouth.

Shizuo blinked in surprise. Then he turned his fully flushed face sideways as he gulped the medicine down with his miso soup.

Tom patted him on the head again and said, "get some rest Shizuo."

Shizuo nodded as he pulled the covers up to his nose. His heart still pulsed rapidly and he had a feeling that his flushed face wasn't due to his fever.

He heard the door close as Tom walked out with the tray of food to clean up. Shizuo sighed, hating himself even more.

'I'm such an idiot. Why would Tom-san have feelings for me? He's straight after all…'

Then he realized that the fact that he found himself even attracted to other guys slightly unusual. He had thought that he had always only liked girls although Tom-san did always have a special place in his heart.

The sudden attraction to other men confused Shizuo even more. Trying to ignore his thoughts, he closed his eyes and drifted into sleep as the cold medicine took over his body.

* * *

It was a sunny and clear morning the next day after the storm had passed. Shizuo woke up feeling refreshed. He decided to forget about Orihara Izaya for the day and go to work with a fresh start. He had worried over his relationship with this man for far too long and it was all unnecessary.

Heiwajima Shizuo had decided to give up on Orihara Izaya and that was that. There was no reason to keep mulling over it.

The blond washed his face and did his usual morning ritual. He got into his fresh bartender outfit that Kasuka had bought him. He was slowly running low on them so he was more careful with each outfit, despite how often they got ruined.

He decided to grab breakfast on his way to meet Tom at the office when there was a knock on the door.

"Delivery to Heiwajima-san!"

Shizuo frowned as he opened the door. A bakery store's delivery stood with a small package. "Please sign here Heiwajima-san."

"I didn't order this." Shizuo scowled. The boy cowered slightly at the tall man's glare but he still had a job to do.

"Uhh… it's already paid for Heiwajima-san. I'm just delivering the order… c-could you sign here please?"

Shizuo's frown didn't leave his face as he signed the paper and took the package. He walked back inside and opened up the box.

Inside were assortments of tarts and cakes along with a hand written note that read, 'Don't worry. They aren't poisoned. – from the flea '

"W-what the… _fuck?_ " Shizuo was flabbergasted. Clearly that handwriting was the flea's, rather Orihara Izaya. But he wasn't sure what Izaya was planning to do.

He didn't want to eat the cakes but he couldn't have them go to waste either.

"Damn the louse. I'll throw it in his face after work." Shizuo grumbled as he put the pastries in his fridge.

Then there was another knock on the door and a shout, "Delivery to Heiwajima-san!"

"Now what…" Shizuo muttered as he opened the door. This time a postal office boy held up a huge brown box. "Please sign here Heiwajima-san!" as he struggled to hold the large box while also holding the sheet for Shizuo to sign.

Shizuo signed the sheets and brought the box inside.

He opened it to see that the box was filled with bartender clothes.

His size.

"The hell?" Shizuo dug around and sure enough, there was another small note that had slipped to the side of the box. It read, 'Sorry for all the shirts I ripped over the past few years and the shirts I borrowed a few times. – from the flea '

"What the hell is he planning? Does he really think I'll fall for him over all these damn…" Shizuo muttered as he crumpled the notes. His mumbling was cut by another knock on the door.

"Delivery to Heiwajima-san!"

Shizuo stumped toward the door and swung it open. There was another man holding a box, and Shizuo had an idea who sent it.

But what surprised the blond more was that it wasn't just one person carrying the box. There was a man behind him carrying a bouquet of flowers. And behind him was another man.

Startled, Shizuo looked out his door to find a long line of delivery men, each holding something to be delivered to Heiwajima's residence.

* * *

By now Shizuo was running late for work. He had asked the men to file in to his apartment and dump their stuff in a corner. He would have to sort them later.

After work.

He signed the sheets all in one row and then ran out the door.

Halfway to his work, his phone rang.

Shizuo ignored it.

It rang again.

And again.

And again….

Shizuo decided he could turn off the phone but just in case Tom called, he couldn't. So instead he picked it up and growled, "What the fuck are you planning louse?"

"Ah good morning Shizu-chan. So you were awake. I wasn't sure, you weren't picking up the call."

"You still didn't answer my question. What the fuck was all that for?" Shizuo panted as he ran down the streets of Ikebukuro.

"What was all what for? Oh I take it my orders were delivered? Did you like the flowers? That one took me awhile to decide. I was never sure which was your favor-"

"Cut the crap! Are you trying to have me  _drown_  in all that shit? I don't need it and I don't  _want_  it! So take your shit back  _now!_ "

"Oh. Hmm… I see. I had kind of forgotten your humble abode was kinda teeny tiny."

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me louse?"

"Oh no not at all. Ah, gotta go Shizu-chan. I have more work to do. Hope you have a nice day! Remember to think of me~"

"The hell? Hey you didn't answer me! What the fuck are you pl-"

_-beeeeeeeep-_

Shizuo cursed when Izaya hung up on him. He sighed as he felt a pounding headache racing his way.

He couldn't accept those  _gifts!_  He would have to  _return_  them.

 _All of them_.

And since Shizuo didn't want to waste money by mailing them back, he would have to bring them back to Izaya's place all by himself.

It already tired out Shizuo just the thought of carrying all those boxes. And somehow not crushing the cakes and flowers too.

* * *

"FLEA! WHERE ARE YOU?" Shizuo yelled as he crushed the door open with his feet. It was after work and he had brought 5 boxes on his shoulders. It would take about 4 trips but he decided he WILL bring all of them to Izaya's place, whether he liked it or not.

And no, he was not planning to pay for Izaya's door which he had just crushed.

"The  _flea_  is not here, Shizuo-san." Kida said as he sighed.

"Oh yeah? Where is he?" Shizuo grumbled as he tossed the boxes to one corner near the shoe cases.

The younger blond shrugged. "He said he had things to do this morning and ran off. Namie-san's pretty angry that he ditched work the rest of today."

Shizuo snorted. "Sounds like him to ditch work. Tell him I don't want any of his damn gifts."

"Okay. If I see him, sure." Kida said amiably as his hands gripped on the strap of his bag across his chest. He didn't want to anger the god of violence when he was so close.

Shizuo stalked off and Kida sighed in relief. Saki popped her head out from upstairs.

"Masaomi~ who was that? Was that Heiwajima-san?"

"Yeah… I don't understand what that bastar- I mean, Izaya-san is planning but Shizuo-san's pretty pissed." Kida grumbled as he pushed the boxes inside the studio more.

"And I guess it's my job to sort through these things and call for a replacement on that door too. Man…"

Saki watched quietly as the gears in her head turned.

* * *

Shizuo grumbled all the way home at the extra work he had to do as he smoked his cigarette. However, the nicotine stick didn't help him relax at all.

When he turned the corner to the streets of his apartment, Shizuo stopped in his tracks. He watched in stunned silence and the cigarette fell from his mouth.

There was a huge gathering of people along with smokes, construction workers and cranes as they destroyed the building that used to be Shizuo's home.

"THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!" Shizuo shouted as he marched forward.

"Ah! Heiwajima-san! Why good to see you! I'm so glad to see you rather!" The landlord ran up to him and shook his hand vigorously with glee. Shizuo looked at him confused at his smiles. "Huh?"

"Why someone donated a gigantic amount for remodeling! All cost and expenses paid for!"

"But what about my stuff?" Shizuo shouted.

"Oh don't worry, the good hearted donator had called in someone and everything has been stored and tucked away safely. Hohoho!" the landlord almost skipped in front of him happily.

"But then where are we gonna stay until the remodelling's comple-"

"Ah, don't worry. It should only take an hour at most!" The landlord's eyes practically sparkled.

"What?" Shizuo's jaws dropped as he watched the cranes  _lift up_  his entire building and take it away.

Then another train of cranes showed up with a pre-built building and gently replace the barren ground like some sort of a movie set.

"You're fucking shitting me…" Shizuo couldn't believe his eyes as his apartment was now replaced with a taller and nicer looking building.

Just then a phone rang.

Dumbfounded, Shizuo picked it up absentmindedly.

"Shizu-chan! I heard you stopped by my place. Did you miss me? Aww…"

"Louse!" Shizuo shouted into the phone.

"Ouch! You almost burst my eardrums. Though I'm glad to hear that you love me that much."

"Cut the bull. What the fuck are you planning? Answer me!"

"Oh do you like your new place? Should be a larger living quarters for you now. Cleaner and all that. And of course, spacier so you can accommodate all the things I'm planning to send to you."

"I don't  _need_  all this crap! So take it back!"

"Aww you hurt my feelings. I thought I was pretty sure you'd like the new living space. I made sure that you get a new plasma TV by the way. It's embedded to the wall!"

Shizuo growled into the cell phone.

"Flea. I'm warning you now. Don't try my patience. Fucking take  _everything_ back. And I mean it."

"Tough luck Shizu-chan. You're just gonna have to  _deal_  with it. Gifts are meant to be  _given_. Not to be returned. How rude."

Shizuo hung up on him. Any more of this, he would have crushed the cell phone.

* * *

Shizuo woke up with a headache. His bed was to fluffy now and he felt very uncomfortable with his new place. It was too big, too wide, too empty… well scratch that. It was still filled with unopened boxes from the flea. But the larger rooms made him feel even more alone.

He had given up on fighting when everyone else seemed to be so thrilled in their new living spaces. Shizuo had to admit, Izaya really had gone out of his way and everyone who lived in that building had gotten the same treatment as Shizuo so no one was left out.

Shizuo had mixed feelings about that.

Regardless, Shizuo still didn't like his new living place.

He got up to get dressed. He remembered the box of new bartender outfits. Shizuo decided that  _that_ was definitely one of the first things he would carry  _back_  to Izaya today after work.

Then the door bell rang.

"Oh no…" Shizuo groaned.

His previous apartment did not have a doorbell and he was still used to hearing knockings. But regardless, he had a feeling he knew who was behind that door this morning too.

He opened the door and sure enough, there was a long line of delivery men awaiting for him with their sheets to be signed.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Shizuo banged his head against the door.

"FUCK!" Shizuo yelled, scaring all the delivery men but they all stood their grounds. They had deliveries to deliver and refused to budge.

"Delivery package to Heiwajima-sa…"

"Yes, yes. Well I know but no. Thank you but I'm not accepting these. I want you to send it  _back_  to the sender."

"But sir…"

"No buts! NOW!" Shizuo slammed the door shut.

Just then, a familiar ringtone sounded through his cell phone. Shizuo wearily picked it up.

"Ah- Shizu-chan! Did you like the assortments of cakes today? I handpicked the-"

"Fuck you louse! I just sent all of them  _back_! I said I don't  _want_  any of your fucking gifts!"

There was a short silence before Izaya's injured tone continued. "And I said I'm gonna keep sending them to you. You don't _return_  gifts, Shizu-chan. What kinda manner is that?"

"I don't want them! None! I don't need them and I especially don't want them from you!"

"So you'll have the cakes go to waste? Aww… Well too bad. I'm still gonna have them delivered to you every morning. Would you like tiramisu next? Or how about-"

"Are you deaf louse? I said I didn't want them! How the fuck am I gonna get it through you that I don't want cakes?" Shizuo huffed as he screamed into his cell phone.

There was a short silence on the other end as if Izaya contemplated on it before he answered with a teasing voice.

"… maybe if you feed it to me personally, I'll think about it."

Shizuo hung up on Izaya again.

* * *

Shizuo came back to his new apartment exhausted. He was too tired to carry all those gifts back to Izaya's place. What was worse, the delivery men had dropped off the gifts by his door and left.

The blond sighed. It wasn't the deliverymen's fault. If they failed in delivering the items, they would be fired. Shizuo understood the pain of being fired more than anyone.

He pushed all the boxes inside and closed the door. He took off his shoes, bowtie and his shades and plopped onto his fluffy bed.

And sighed deeply in exhaustion.

Everything was exhausting and stressful. His work was stressful as it was, and coming home was now stressful as well.

Then the inevitable ringtone rang.

Shizuo groaned. He didn't want to pick it up but he did so.

"What." Shizuo said with a flat tone.

"Shizu-chan! Did you miss me?" said the chirpy voice.

"No."

"You could have lied and said you did." Izaya sniffled.

"Why should I."

"Because I know you've just lied."

"What the fuck are you talking about now Izaya-kun." Shizuo sighed as he turned over in his a bit-too-big bed.

"I know you miss me, Shizu-chan~" Izaya's sing-song voice irritated Shizuo.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, as far as I know, you're pretty healthy man."

"Yeah. So?"

"And I think healthy men have their …  _needs._ "

Shizuo stiffened.

"So tell me. It's been about 3 nights since we've met last. And my, I think it's been almost 5? 6 days? Since you've last fucked me. So, have you masturbated thinking of me ye-"

Shizuo hung up on Izaya, his face flushed bright red.

* * *

The next day when Izaya called Shizuo, the blond did not pick up the phone. No matter how many times Izaya called, Shizuo refused to pick it up. Later that day, it went straight to voice mail.

"I see… so finally we're at that stage." Izaya smirked as he moved a knight on his chess board with a game only he knew how to play.

"Ah but Shizu-chan. I've already predicted this move you know."

Shizuo blinked when his phone vibrated with a voice message. While Tom and he were moving from one location to the other place where their 'client' had run off without paying his debt, he listened to the voice message.

The voicemail read, "You have a new voice message from 'Orihara Izaya.'" Shizuo snorted at hearing Izaya's voice say his name in a cheery way.

"Shizu-chan~" Izaya's voice sang to him. "I'm  _reeeeeally_ horny~"

Shizuo's face flushed immediately and felt his blood pool to his middle.

"I want you to fuck m-" Shizuo quickly pressed the delete button.

"What's wrong Shizuo?" Tom asked, noting a change in his kouhai who staggered a bit, stunned at what he had just heard.

"N-nothing Tom-san… nothing."

* * *

By the time Shizuo came back home that day, he had a full inbox. Total of 55 voice messages which was his limit. Unfortunately for Shizuo, he  _had_  to empty it in case his boss called him for an urgent matter. Even worse for Shizuo, his phone model was made so that one had to listen at least partially into the message before one could delete it.

He lay in his bed as the phone beeped at him.

"You have a new message from 'Orihara Izaya'.  _-beep-_  'Ah! Shizu-chan! Did you get my last-'" Shizuo pressed the delete button.

"Next message. "Ah! Shizu-chan, you're still not-  _-beep-_  " Shizuo pressed the delete button.

"Next message. "Shi-"  _-beep-_." Shizuo pressed the delete button again.

"Next message. "zu"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "cha"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "I kno"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "you"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "are"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "del"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "ting"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "my"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "mess"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "ges"  _-beep-_." Shizuo frowned as he continued to press delete as fast as possible to clear his inbox.

"Next message. "How"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "rude"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "Dun"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "you"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "miss"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "me"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "I"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "am"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "wai"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "ting"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "for"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "you"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "to"  _-beep-_."

"Next message. "fuck"  _-beep-_."

Shizuo gave up and flung the phone across his room. He didn't want to listen to it anymore.

Trying his hardest to calm himself down, he lay in bed for hours until he fell asleep.

* * *

Now it was the 5th morning since Izaya had first started sending him gifts. Shizuo woke up groggily, tired, sore and stressed. Sleep did not help him at all. Already the door bells were ringing with new lines of gifts to be delivered and Shizuo really didn't want to face the world. Who knew that having the  _flea_  chase him was more stressful than chasing after the flea?

Almost getting into the habit, Shizuo opened the door, signed the sheets and had the men file his living room with more boxes. He didn't even bother opening them anymore. He did not care what was in them. But he couldn't throw them away and waste them either.

"Maybe I can give it to my neighbors or something…" Shizuo pondered at the growing 'trash' that was building up in his living room, though this 'trash' was a lot different from the trash he was used to having in his place.

Shizuo sighed and got dressed to go to work. His phone vibrated again with a new message. Shizuo sighed and picked it up, prepared to delete more messages.

But the latest message he got was blank. Rather… he heard heavy breathing.

Curious, and wondering if Izaya was sick, Shizuo listened as Izaya panted harder into the phone and moaned softly, "S-Shizu-chan…"

Shizuo frowned a bit, not quite realizing what was going on until Izaya moaned again, "S-Shizu-chan…  _haaa…. –haaa…_  I… I'm gonna….  _ah-aaaah!_ "

The blond's face flushed red as he quickly pressed the delete button, but the damage was done. His lower half throbbed painfully with certain desires and need.

"F-fuck…" Shizuo grabbed his cock and fisted it a bit, trying to make his wood go away.

"It is way too early for this shit…" the debt collector moaned, exasperated and tired of all the built up stress.

It looked like he would be late for work that day.

* * *

Shizuo wondered if he should change his cell phone number.

Then he decided that an informant like Izaya would figure out his new phone number in an instant.

Shizuo wondered if he should block Izaya's number.

Then he realized Izaya could probably send him calls using other phone numbers. At that rate, Shizuo would rather have Izaya send him messages using the number Shizuo knew was Izaya's own, rather than random unknown callers.

The blond sighed heavily as he walked next to Tom. Tom wondered again what was wrong with his kouhai. Shizuo had bags under his eyes as if he wasn't getting enough sleep.

During lunch break, Shizuo received text messages from Izaya. It read, [Shizu-chan! How's your morning? I hope you got my messages last night? I left you a special one because I couldn't wait!]

"That fucking louse…" Shizuo growled as he deleted it without replying.

Then he received another message from Izaya.

"Ah fuck it…" Shizuo opened it again to see that this time it was a picture message.

The picture was of Izaya licking a cock.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Shizuo got up immediately from his bench screaming, startling Tom who was eating his bento next to him.

"W-what is it Shizuo?" Tom adjusted his glasses and asked wearily.

"N-nothing. Um… could you give me a second? I need to uhh… text someone…" Shizuo mumbled his apology as he hurried somewhere secluded as he typed with his fumbling fingers.

[The fuck louse! Who's cock are you sucking on now?]

A text message came back almost immediately. 'Damn that louse types fast.' Shizuo thought.

It read, [Shizu-chan~ lol. I was eating a peach ice-cream~ you naught boy~]

'The fuck?' Shizuo quickly looked back at the picture and sure enough, it was a long popsicle that Izaya was coyly licking with his tongue seductively as his eyes focused on his cell phone camera.

Shizuo groaned as he realized he totally fell for Izaya's tricks again. It did not help that already his body was reacting to the picture of Izaya sucking on a peach colored popsicle.

He sighed in relief and from exhaustion as he closed his eyes and leaned his arm against the wall as he rested his head against it. He held tightly onto his cellphone and sighed once more. He had thought he had given up on Izaya. But the very thought of him having a sexual relationship with someone else, especially if it was Shiki, sickened Shizuo.

'This is a bad sign... isn't it...' Shizuo thought to himself. He realized that he was indeed relieved to know that Izaya had not gone back to Shiki. Or at least, he thought he hadn't.

Shizuo swallowed hard and forced his body to calm down before he went back to Tom.

* * *

Throughout the day Izaya sent Shizuo very seductive or teasing cellphone images of himself, each of them Izaya staring directly and daringly into the camera which only made Shizuo's groin stir. A few of those shots included Izaya wiping his wet hair with a towel right after a shower, obviously not wearing anything, all the way to cute picture of himself in the same maid outfit with the kitty ears which in the end he did not burn. Another picture was Izaya laying in bed wearing the same black lingerie with red ribbons. Other suggestive pictures were of Izaya licking his finger covered in cream or him pulling up his shirt, barely covering his nipples.

Shizuo sighed and knew better than to look at them but each time his phone vibrated with a picture message from Izaya, he couldn't look away from them.

By the time Shizuo came home, he was exhausted and very sexually frustrated. However he refused to masturbate to the images and fantasies in his head. He sometimes fisted himself just to relieve the pain but never all the way.

The phone vibrated once more and Shizuo growled as he looked at the simple text that read, [Good night Shizu-chan~ Remember to think of me in your dreams~ chu- ]

Shizuo tossed the phone and went to sleep, feeling even more lonely on the bed that was too large for one person.

* * *

By now Shizuo had gotten used to the train of men delivering him gifts. He still refused to eat the cakes and tarts and gave them to his neighbors who believed he was such a good kid to give them cakes every morning.

Shizuo got his usual text message from Izaya that read, [Good morning Shizu-chan! I hope you have a wonderful day at work! Oh and remember to think of me~]. He read it, scoffed at it and deleted it without much thought. It was almost like having an unwanted very clingy puppy who kept wagging his tail at the door and welcoming him home or something. Almost. Shizuo found it annoying but couldn't quite hate Izaya for being so enthusiastic even if it was for all the wrong reasons.

* * *

Other then the text message that morning, Izaya had left him alone. Shizuo was almost grateful but realized the he was very jumpy. He kept thinking his phone vibrated for some reason with more messages.

They had finally finished collecting debt from a man who owed money for over 58 phone calls. It was a pretty decent haul for just one morning. Tom and Shizuo were walking in the street of Ikebukuro as they proceeded to visit their 5th client who owed them money when from across the street, a certain man wearing a fur fringed coat waved at them.

Tom paused. He gulped and looked over at Shizuo, ready to bolt and take cover if his kouhai were to explode in the middle of the streets filled with so many people when..

… all he saw was empty air.

_Huh?_

Tom looked behind him and the cigarette he was holding fell as his jaw dropped at the sight that could never happen. Heiwajima Shizuo, the one people of Ikebukuro knew as the man who could change into the great god of violence, who wouldbe summoned by the very appearance of Orihara Izaya, was fleeing in the opposite direction as if his life depended on it instead.

Tom had to look up to make sure that the sun was rising from the east, not west.

Izaya waved at Tom as he hopped along, chasing after Heiwajima Shizuo with a nonchalant smile.

And Tom stood there in shock, along with many people of Ikebukuro, witnessing for the first time as Shizuo ran past the crowds in fear, as Izaya ran past them close behind his heels with a playful smile.

* * *

-From Dollars Board-

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:31am  
From: Haruko  
Sub: (no title)  
Oooh my gawd! I just saw HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO RUN AWAY FROM ORIHARA IZAYA

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:31am  
From: Youko  
Sub: (no title)  
Me too! Me too!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:31am  
From: Akie  
Sub: (no title)  
The world is coming to an end I SWEAR!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:32am  
From: Kazutano  
Sub: (no title)  
End coming? Tickets! I sell! Like birth of virgins!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:32am  
From: Tanaka Taro  
Sub: (no title)  
Wait? Huh? Where?

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:32am  
From: Seruru  
Sub: (no title)  
Ikebukuro, Sunshine Street. I... I just saw it too...

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:33am  
From: Kahlua Milk  
Sub: (no title)  
OMG! I JUST SAW IZAIZA CHASING AFTER SHIZUSHIZU DOWN THE SUNSHINE STREET! AAAAAH! I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW! I BET IZAIZA WILL CO-

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:33am  
From: Takkii  
Sub: (no title)  
Wait, is this for real? Or more rumors?

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:34am  
From: Red Carpet  
Sub: (no title)  
Sadly no...

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:34am  
From: MONTA  
Sub: (no title)  
I... I just saw something I never thought I'd see. No it really happened.

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:34am  
From: Kahlua Milk  
Sub: (no title)  
Curse limits on these things. I BET IZAIZA WILL CORNER SHIZUSHIZU AND RAPE HIM IN AN ALLEYWAY! Though I've always been Shizaya fan, ROLEREVERSIBLE IS WONDERFUL!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:35am  
From: Tanaka Taro  
Sub: (no title)  
Umm... can anyone there please tell us more details? Preferably not from Kahlua Milk?

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:35am  
From: Kahlua Milk  
Sub: (no title)  
What? How rude! I just saw IzaIza definitely chase down... omg! Izaiza just TACKLED SHIZUO DOWN KYAAAAA!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:35am  
From: Seruru  
Sub: (no title)  
Oh wow. Shizuo just... umm... wow?

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:36am  
From: Walker  
Sub: (no title)  
I don't know, to me they look like they're wrestling on the ground! Though Shizuo-san would have the upper hand on this.

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:37am  
From: Rabisan  
Sub: (no title)  
Don't worry guys! I got this! I am recording it right now with my cell phone! I'll post it up once I got a few clips!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:37am  
From: Akie  
Sub: (no title)  
No, no! It's true! Omg! Heiwajima Shizuo pulled out and is now running down the other street! They're too fast!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:37am  
From: Haruko  
Sub: (no title)  
I... I... can't run anymore... someone please give us some live feedback from the other side?

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:38am  
From: Young Leaf Mark  
Sub: (no title)  
I found Heiwajima Shizuo. He's running on top of the roofs now. I can't see Orihara Izaya though.

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:38am  
From: Kufuutarou  
Sub: (no title)  
Late, but I'm definitely all for Izaya scoring a point off of Shizuo for once!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:39am  
From: Tanaka Taro  
Sub: (no title)  
Scoring off? What does that mean?

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:39am  
From: Kahlua Milk  
Sub: (no title)  
YES YES YESSSS! Iza tops!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:40am  
From: Tanaka Taro  
Sub: (no title)  
Can someone please tell us what's  _really_  going on here? -.-;

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:40am  
From: Siri  
Sub: (no title)  
Just saw Izaya on roof! He jumping! Can't catch up!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:40am  
From: Young Leaf mark  
Sub: (no title)  
Ah, I just saw Orihara Izaya fly across the rooftop too. Looks like we wouldn't be able to follow their chase unless someone can parkour...

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:40am  
From: Kahlua Milk  
Sub: (no title)  
Aww...

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:41am  
From: Rabisan  
Sub: (no title)  
Don't worry! I'll be uploading what clips I've captured on my cell right now!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:42am  
From: Haruko  
Sub: (no title)  
At least we've got that. Alright!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:42am  
From: Akie  
Sub: (no title)  
Ah! By the way, did you guys know there's a new cake shop in town?

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:42am  
From: Kazutano  
Sub: (no title)  
I still tickets! Virgin condom heaven! World ending!

Date: 2010/XX/XX 11:43am  
From: Youko  
Sub: (no title)  
What the hell are you talking about now, old man?

* * *

Mikado wondered what was going on in Ikebukuro as the forum derailed into off-topic. He wished he was there to witness the shocking scene of Shizuo-san running away from Izaya-san, but all he could gather was limited to the information his Dollars could feed to him as he sat in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note on the Dollar's names:
> 
> references:   
> community (dot) livejournal (dot) com/durarara/401986 (dot) html   
> anni-fiesta (dot) livejournal (dot) com/35294 (dot) html
> 
> in case those places goes down:
> 
> Names in brackets are Dollars usernames.
> 
> Ganguro girls:  
> Pink-haired girl: 秋絵 - Akie  
> Blonde-haired girl: 晴子 - Haruko  
> Brown-haired girl: 陽子 - Youko
> 
> Lady with the sketchbook (where you write things you want to find): Shiri (siri)
> 
> Takiguchi Ryo (タッキー - Takkii (Tacky?))  
> Celty (せるる - Seruru)  
> Orihara Izaya (功夫太郎 - Kufuutarou, among others (I know that he also uses Nakura on Dollars, for one...))  
> Kazutano (数多野 - Kazutano)  
> Yumasaki Walker (ウォーカー - Walker)  
> Togusa Saburo (レッドカーペット - Red Carpet)  
> Karisawa Erika (カルアミルク - Kahlua Milk)  
> Kadota Kyohei (MONTA)
> 
> Guy in the rabbit suit: (ラビさん - Rabisan)
> 
> Kuronuma Aoba – Young Leaf Mark
> 
> ALSO! "All the Wrong Reasons" is a good fic! I highly recommend it. Go check it out guys if you haven't already~


	37. Chapter 37

"Cheer up Shizuo. It couldn't have been that bad..." Kadota said as he patted his friend on the back.

They were all at Russia Sushi, grabbing some dinner. Shizuo had finally managed to come back to Tom but by then, Shizuo looked so out of it, Tom called it a day. Kadota had called him later, concerned for his friend as they all met at Russia Sushi.

"You know, Shizuo. If Orihara is..." Tom started.

"... if he's blackmailing you..." Kadota continued. Kadota looked over at Tom who was sitting on the other side of Shizuo by the bar.

"You can tell us and we'll try to help you out." Both of them concluded together as they nodded in unison.

"It's okay guys. He's not blackmailing me." Shizuo groaned as he rubbed his temple, trying to get rid of his headache and embarrassment. He couldn't tell them the truth. That as soon as he saw Izaya, his body reacted immediately. After seeing plenty of seductive pictures of the man, his body instantly wanted to tackle the man and take him right there.

The urge was so strong, he just fled the scene.

'What the hell... did he have some weird subliminal messages? Or hypnotism?' Shizuo frowned.

"Shi-Zu-Oh! No frowning! Smile! Sun is up today!"

"Well the sun's gone down now Simon. It's past sunset." Togusa told him as he broke his chopsticks.

While Walker was looking at the menu, Erika could not help but lean over forward and tried to see Shizuo's face across the people sitting by the bar.

"Ne, ne! So what happened afterwards? Did you guys have a secret getaway at the alley after all?"

"Karisawa..." Kadota warned her. Erika gave a huge pout.

"Uh... hey guys, look!" Togusa said, pointing at the T.V. above them in the corner of the ceiling. "It's Izaya-san."

They all looked up. And sure enough, it was Orihara Izaya on T.V. with a Caucasian man in business suits as they shook hands and smiled. Curious, Dennis played up the volume.

"And here we have it. Today Orihara Izaya have donated a billion dollars to the International Astronomical Union. In gratitude, the IAU have decided to name the newest star they have found in the honor of the generous man. The new star, which is located in the constellation Andromeda, in M31, will be named as OXH-138x42. It is a bright Red Giant star with a small collection of planets circling around it. Let's have a quick interview with Orihara Izaya-san. Orihara Izaya-san! Congratulations. What made you donate such a large sum to the IAU?"

By now everyone's mouths were gaping open as the camera zoomed in on the smiling Japanese informant.

"Thank you. I'm happy to have donated to the IAU, which needs our support in their efforts on studying the heavens above us."

"How do you feel about having the honor of naming a star?"

"Why, like a god." Izaya's eyes twinkled at that.

"I see. So please tell us, what is the meaning behind the name of the star."

Izaya's smile widened as he stared directly into the camera. "The name comes from Orihara and Heiwajima put together. It's dedicated to a certain man who loves me very dearly." as he professed to the world on T.V..

"My, what a lucky man to-" however the rest of interview went unheard due to a scream by a certain fujoshi in Russia Sushi.

"OH MY GAWD! I KNEW IT! IZAIZA TOPS SHIZUSHIZU! KYAAAAAAAAAA!"

Then the next thing the customers of Russia Sushi heard was a loud screaming of "IIIIIIZAAAAAYAAAAAAAAA!" as the restaurant exploded into smoke for the second time that week.

* * *

Tom was getting ready for bed when there was a sudden knocking on his door. It was hurried and rapid, almost desperate rap.

Frowning, Tom pulled on his bathrobes on top of his pajamas as he came to the door. Looking through the small eyehole he blinked at the familiar blond standing outside, anxiously looking around him.

"Shizuo? What brings you-, whoa!" Tom moved out of the way as soon as he opened the door when Shizuo barged inside and slammed the door shut behind him. He looked a bit scared out of his wits wearing nothing but his pajamas while holding a pillow.

"Shizuo?" Tom asked again as his kouhai ran around and looked through all the rooms and checked for something. Tom watched as the blond started drawings the blinds down and locking the windows.

"He's not here right?"

"Who's not here?" Tom asked, still very perplexed.

"Izaya. He's not here right?" Shizuo looked as if he was being spooked by a ghost.

"No… why should he be here?"

"Good. Tom-san, can I sleep over just for one night?" Shizuo pleaded with his scared puppy eyes just peeking over the pillow he was hugging in front of him.

"Uhh… sure. I don't mind but…"

Then, there was another knock on the door. This time it sounded much more playful as it rapped on the door,  _*knock-knock-kno-kno-knock*_ followed by a sweet voice that called, "Oh Shizu-chaaaan~ I know you're in there~ Seriously Shizu. Don't you know better than to run away to a place where I can find you  _easily?_ "

"Oh shit!" The blond hissed as he hurriedly unlocked the window. Before Tom could even make a move, there was a sound of the locks being picked and the door burst open. Tom looked behind him to stare at the infamous informant at his apartment.

Now Tanaka Tom had expected Orihara Izaya since he had recognized the voice.

What Tanaka Tom did  _not_  expect to see was Orihara Izaya wearing an apron.

And nothing else.

Save for holding a soup ladle randomly.

"W-what the fu-," Tom gaped as the buck naked man, save for the pink frilly apron, walked forward with a huff. By now, Shizuo had finished unlatching the windows and ran out.

"For heaven's sake Shizu-chan…" Izaya grumbled, his hands on his hip, the ladle still in his hand as it bobbed up and down with the rhythm of his gait.

Tom gawked as Izaya walked past him because sure enough, the informant was buttnaked. He was wearing no boxers, briefs, nothing. Tom staggered at seeing the man's pale pair of moon.

As Izaya stepped onto the window sill to jump out and chase after Shizuo, Tom shouted, "Wait!"

Izaya turned his head to face him, one leg on the window sill while the other foot was still touching the floor.

Tom gulped and hesitated briefly, but after few seconds of quick thoughts he looked back up at Izaya with a more determined face. "Whatever you're doing, I want you to leave Shizuo alone."

A small smile crept over the informant as he turned his body to face the man with dreadlocks.

"Oh? So Mr. Pacifist who refuses to take any initiatives has finally decided to stop being a coward?"

Tom almost flinched at those words that drove a stake into his heart but stood his ground as his face grew grim. "I'm warning you. Leave Shizuo alone. He doesn't deserve this."

Izaya burst out into a silvery laughter at those words. Tom shifted the weights on his foot.

"Oh? And what does he deserve?  _You_  perhaps?"

Tom remained silent while he continued to glare at the man gravely.

"I'm serious. If you try to harm my-"

"Your what?" Izaya interrupted sharply, breaking off from his maniacal laughter. "Your kouhai? Partner? Co-worker? Friend? Dare I ask  _lover?_ " Izaya's grin split ear to ear as his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Tell me, have you ever had sex with Shizu-chan? I have. He's pretty good in bed, isn't he?"

Tom stood his ground, his ears blushing furiously at Izaya's words but refusing to back out for the sake of his friend.

"Shizuo isn't like that. You already know we're not in that sort of relationship. And I refuse to believe anything you tell me."

"So I'm a liar huh?" Izaya chuckled. "Even after you've clearly seen his love bites on my body? Should I show them to you? I have one right here…" Izaya fingered the frills in the front of his apron as he gently pulled it lower as he leaned slightly forward.

"I still don't believe you. Just because you have them doesn't mean they're from Shizuo." Tom stood firmly, refusing to neither change his opinion of his friend nor be shaken by Izaya's words.

"Ah. True." Izaya sighed nonchalantly as he leaned against the side frame of the window, looking half disinterested in the topic all of a sudden.

"Tell me, Tom-san… do you know  _why_  kids play 'Hide-and-Seek?'"

The sudden change of subject matter confused Tom.

"It's because kids want to be  _found_  Tom-san." Izaya answered for the baffled man with a gentle smile that was none too gentle. "Kids hide because they want to be found by others. To reaffirm their existence from others and that they're wanted."

"What does that-"

"In a game of 'Tag'," Izaya interrupted him with another question. "do you know which kids the person who is 'it' chases after, Tom-san?"

Tom frowned again. Izaya laughed at him.

"It's not a trick question Tom-san. It's quite simple. They chase down the 'slower' kids. Or the ones near-by usually. So if you happen to be fastest kid in the game, what do you think that kid will do if no one chases after him?"

Again Tom remained silent, hesitant to answer.

"Why, they get lonely, Tom-san. Lonely and bored. So, what do you think that kid would do next?"

"… get caught on purpose?" Tom answered tentatively.

"Precisely! They would either come close enough to get caught or get caught on purpose!" Izaya tapped his ladle to the wall next to him to imitate clapping.

"I don't get where you're going with this." Tom frowned.

"I guess you won't get it." Izaya giggled as he spoke. "What I'm trying to say is, Shizu-chan is running away because he  _wants_  to get caught."

"That's not true." Tom said stiffly.

"Ah, but it is. Why else would a man who can easily snap my neck like a twig run away from me instead?"

"Th-that's because Shizuo's a nice guy! And he wouldn't want to…" Tom paused. No, Shizuo always had screamed in his battle cry how he would kill the louse. Though the threat was real, at the same time it wasn't. Tom grew confused as he tried to defend his friend but could not explain the contradiction in Shizuo's words and actions.

Izaya's smirk grew wider as he sighed dramatically.

"Poor, poor Shizu-chan~ His only friend doesn't even truly understand him. And you really thought you knew the man named Heiwajima Shizuo?" Izaya mocked him. "So sad~ You really don't understand a single thing about him."

"You're just twisting your words." Tom accused him, not knowing what else to say. He knew what Izaya was saying was wrong, or at least he believed it was wrong. But his mind couldn't form a line of defense against him.

"Oh? Am I now?" Izaya lifted his eyebrows nonchalantly. "I pity Shizu-chan really. All these years of his feelings. Wasted on you." He clicked his tongue and tsk'ed.

"I'm not buying anything you tell me Orihara-san. And it doesn't change the fact that I want you to leave him alone."

"You don't even understand the simplest thing about him, Tom-san." Izaya continued to chid. "So I suggest that you quit being his over-protective guardian until you can better understand what Heiwajima Shizuo  _really_  feels."

Tom was about to reply but he stopped before his words tumbled out of his mouth. Izaya leaned against the window as half of his head was covered, his silhouette glowing in the moonlight as his piercing blood red eye shined like the crimson moon in the blackest night.

"I'm not giving  _him_  to  _you._ "

Izaya's threat hung in the air dangerously like a knife held above Tom's head by a thin thread.

Both remained silent as the glare grew severe. Izaya bore his jealous glare as he remembered how Shizuo always smiled fondly at this man who didn't seem to truly appreciate it. Tom felt a drop of cold sweat drip down his back from the intensity until Izaya broke the contact first by shrugging indifferently as he turned his body to face the window again, checking to see how far Shizuo had run off.

Tom gagged as Izaya placed both of his feet on the window sills and crouched, displaying a full frame of his ass.

"Well. Looks like I've overstayed my welcome and tsk, there goes Shizu-chan." Izaya looked back once to smirk at Tom playfully, the perilous threat still very real, before hopping out of sight.

Tom let out a sigh, not realizing that he was holding his breath as he staggered and leaned against the wall. His mind felt dizzy from the heated discussion as well as the bizarre absurdity of seeing the asscrack of the man who dangerously threatened him while wearing a pink frilly apron and nothing else.

But wearing pink aprons or not, Orihara Izaya was a dangerous man. That fact did not change and those glaring eyes proved to Tom once again that Izaya was not a man to be messed with.

He didn't know why Izaya was chasing after Shizuo but he prayed for his kouhai's safety.

* * *

The next morning Tom wasn't surprised at seeing Shizuo disheveled as he came to work. He had dark circles under his unfocused eyes, barely shaven, his hair messier than his usual, and his clothes wrinkled. Tom too had dark circles under his eyes because he tossed and turned that night, unable to get rid of the image of a certain dark haired man and his ass mooning him.

Their boss looked at them skeptically and told them both to go back home and just get some sleep. Since they did get a decent amount of debt collected yesterday, a one day break wouldn't hurt them much.

Shizuo was grateful as he trudged wearily back home and dropped himself to his bed with a plop.

Few minutes later, his phone vibrated and a small 'pling' sounded as it alerted his owner with a new text message. Shizuo reached over to grab his phone and flicked it open. The message was the same message Izaya would send almost every 2-3 hours now and it read, [Shizu-chan~ Have a nice day at work! Don't forget to think about me. –chu- ]

The blond sighed as he tossed the phone back on top of his fluffy bed and closed his eyes. He was sick of running away from this man who was showering him with gifts and unwanted attention. Normally he would punch anyone, especially someone like the flea who was this irritating, but instead of pushing the man away, his body and mind wanted to …

'What do I want to do?' Shizuo thought to himself, his head feeling heavy even as it lay on the pillow, sinking deeply into it. Shizuo wanted to hold him and not let go. It was getting harder and harder to push Izaya away. His body longed for him too, feeling unnecessarily aroused at the most inopportune times. Shizuo admitted he liked watching Izaya moan under him as he shivered with ecstasy, to have such a different carnal power over the man ever since he had watched the smaller man shiver in the DVD calling out his name.

Shizuo would have accepted his advances if it weren't for the fact that he knew deep inside that Izaya was doing this only out of vengeance, not for any romantic affection.

Shizuo would have taken him if he could only figure out a way to differentiate if he was feeling lust for the man or actually cherished him with deeper affection. He hated himself each time his body craved to masturbate at the thought of the flea's flushed body. He refused to stoop that low, to lust instead of love. Yet it was getting harder and harder each time Izaya teased him with everything he had, from materialistic gifts to the constant attention. Izaya was both ostentatious and grandiose with his lavished gifts, while still particular with tiny delicate and refined details of what Shizuo liked.

"Is it too late I wonder…" Shizuo sighed. Again he wished he could turn back time and start over. Shizuo acknowledged that he might have some affection for the man if he kind of liked the idea of just cuddling Izaya but he was still the same annoying flea.

If only he could reset the time back when he first met Izaya and did not say, "I don't like you."

If only he could go back to the time where Izaya led him to the Sunshine 60's building on the night with no moon and had listened to what he had to say.

If only he had not yelled at him, threw vending machines at him, injured him physically and emotionally every time they met.

If only he had the guts to face his own emotions for him and answered him properly last week on that stormy night.

Shizuo sighed. He was always too late, his emotions getting the better of him as he lashed out in anger, his personal defense mechanism.

Each time he thought he would do this right, make it up or fix the problem, he messed it up.

Each time he tried to give up on Izaya, he could not.

It was beyond frustrating. It was now just tiring. And Shizuo didn't know what he should do to get out of this repetitive cycle.

Just then the phone beeped with another picture message.

Shizuo let out another sigh as he picked up the phone to check Izaya's message. He still couldn't seem to ignore them. Even if he never replied to them, he always checked it. He wasn't sure what compelled him to do so, if it was plain just curiosity or something else. No matter how stressful they might be, Shizuo's heart pulsed just a little bit faster each time Izaya sent him something.

Expecting another lewd picture, Shizuo flipped open his phone cautiously.

But instead of another suggestive photo, Shizuo frowned as he tried to make out the picture. It was plain pale beige with a light pink in the middle.

Another text message followed as the confused Shizuo clicked it open. His eyes widened in realization as it read,

[Your bitemark on my chest is fading, Shizu-chan~]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: The author knows that IAU does NOT sell star names to people no matter how many donations you'll give them lol. It's written in the fic anyway for crack. Besides... Izaya so would buy a star in the sky for Shizuo and play godmode


	38. Chapter 38

Izaya sighed as he looked at his picture message he had sent to Shizuo about 20 minutes ago. Once again there was no reply. He tossed the phone on top of his desk and leaned back on his swivel chair, one leg pushing his chair to sway back and forth.

That was his final ace card. If Shizuo still refused to make a move after this…

Izaya frowned. What should he do next?

Orihara Izaya was so sure, so  _certain_  that Shizuo did have feelings for him. Everything had led up to that answer. Every action Shizuo took and every word Shizuo spoke pointed toward that one single move.

Yet Heiwajima Shizuo was a man Izaya could never decipher and never predict because that man stubbornly did not budge in the direction that the genius informant believed he would.

Frustrated, Izaya sighed as he stared blankly at the large window that gave him the great view of Tokyo. Such a splendid city filled with a variety of people, full of potential to evolve into interesting subjects and here was Orihara Izaya, all miserable over a monster who shouldn't even be part of his spectrum of love he had for humanity.

Izaya's finger lightly touched the center of his chest on top of his soft cotton shirt.

That mark of possession was slowly fading.

And with it was Izaya's zeal and resolve.

A lot had happened to Izaya within the whole week as he tried to seduce Shizuo. Again Izaya fumed quietly, 'why should  _I_  be the only one to suffer? Damn that Neanderthal! Why, I outta-'

_SLAM!_

Izaya jumped at the sound and turned his swivel chair back forward. Namie stood by his desk with a pile of papers she had organized, dropped on top of the desk with a smack.

The informant quietly gazed at the workload then back up at his secretary.

"Yes?"

"I'm done. I hope you've finished your end since I can't continue without-" Namie was about give him a piece of her mind when the door burst open with another loud  _bang._

Namie froze at the sudden loud sound and quickly turned to see who it was.

Kida and Saki too gasped as they backed away from the door that turned into splinters and planks of wood.

Shizuo marched in, biting his cigarette with his cool shades garnishing his face.

"Everyone. Out."

His simple words chilled everyone's heart with the cold vicious hint of a threat that lingered in the air. Everyone, save for Izaya, quickly filed out.

Izaya felt a cold sweat drip down his back but he remained his cool, leaning onto the side of his chair as he smirked at the blond.

"My, my Shizu-chan. Fancy seeing you here. Tired of running away finally? Hope you've liked the presents I've been sending you. You don't need to pay me back though that door-"

But Izaya paused as Shizuo grabbed whatever was left of the door and placed it back on the entrance. The informant laughed out loud at Shizuo's 'manners'.

"So you break my door first then you place it back gently. Nice Shizu-chan. Very nice."

Shizuo advanced to Izaya's desk, walked around it and stopped, his tall figure looming over the small man who stubbornly refused to cower under his intense gaze. Shizuo reached forward and roughly grabbed the end of the shirt and lifted it up to inspect the mark.

Sure enough, the bite bruises have faded to a light pink, barely noticeable.

Shizuo frowned. Izaya chuckled boldly, feeling more confident that he was right about Shizuo when he sees his face scowl at the mark.

"I just want to ask you one thing." Shizuo said calmly, still clutching onto the stretched shirt. Izaya smirked.

"Oh? And that is?"

"You... so this is still just a game to you?" Shizuo's eyes narrowed behind his blue shades.

Izaya shrugged. "Of course Shizu-chan. What else could it be?"

Izaya was sounded more sure of himself than how he really felt.

Shizuo frowned as he leaned forward, still clutching his shirt as he stared into Izaya's eyes, trying to read him.

"Are you sure... you don't want me?"

"What else could you mean by that?"

"You know what I mean." Shizuo scowled unhappily. He had to know if Izaya was still playing this game of vengence or not. Did he really spend all his money and time to seduce him only to throw him away? Or was there more to it?

If only Izaya would relent and gave him a small hint that it meant just a bit more, Shizuo was willing to go take the extra step.

Izaya looked to the corner of his eyes, making a mocking move to show that he was 'thinking' about what Shizuo said.

"Well... I think I do want your little Shizu-chan." a foot touched Shizuo's crotch and rubbed him fondly as Izaya's eyes gazed downward, then back up at the angry amber irises.

"But the monster, I could do without." Izaya finished with a decisive smirk, still refusing to show him his true self.

Shizuo harshly pulled him up above his seat as he screamed his name like a beast.

"IIIIIIZAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

'This man never ceases to know how to make me angry!' Shizuo growled, his visions blurring with anger as Izaya's insane laughter flooded his ears.

"In the end Shizu-chan, a monster remains a monster. Did you really think I'd love you back? However it seems you have been smitten by me just a smudge. Ne, Shizu-chan. Tell me, maybe uumf-!"

Izaya's chatter was cut off by Shizuo's other hand that roughly covered his mouth.

"Shut up."

With those simple words, Shizuo slammed the small man back down on top of his desk. Izaya winced at the pain though his moans were muffled.

His hand still covering the informant's mouth, Shizuo used his other free hand to lift the shirt all the way up to his neckline. Then Shizuo's mouth came down on the bitemark, his teeth grazing the spot. Izaya arched his back instantly but Shizuo held him in place as he continued to suck and bite the spot over and over, marking it from pink to red.

Once he was done, Shizuo finally pulled away, releasing Izaya from his grip. They were both panting, Shizuo's lips glistening with saliva while Izaya's pants were tight with arousal. Izaya glared up at the blond defiantly while Shizuo coldly glared back.

Wordlessly Shizuo turned to leave.

"Hey, wait! Come back here! You can't leave me like this!" Izaya yelled as he cursed, his tight pants excruciatingly painful with the denial.

Shizuo took no heed of his shouts as he lifted the remains of the door and walked out.

He stopped to turn, as the three employees of the informant sat crouched low, trying to eavesdrop. They looked away sheepishly at being caught, Namie blushing slightly as she got up and patted her skirt, Kida chuckling as he scratched his head and Saki who just beamed a smile.

Shizuo gave them a glare of warning before he headed back home.

As for Izaya, he told all of them to just go home. He had to go take a cold shower and business to take care of.

* * *

"Well, that didn't work too well…" Izaya sighed as he walked aimlessly around Ikebukuro. Now the entire city was  _his_  without the monster chasing him out of it, but even while surrounded by his beloved humans, Izaya felt lonely.

Absentmindedly, the informant rubbed at the sore spot in the middle of his chest, marked with a new bruise. Izaya sighed heavily. He had expected Shizuo to at least break and take him but no. The protozoan head continued to be elusive as he never did anything according to Izaya's plan.

The informant was so sure that Shizuo loved him but now Izaya started to doubt himself. He walked around the familiar streets a bit, wondering if he would run into a certain blond debt collector again if fate would have them cross paths once more.

But destiny was forever cruel to Orihara Izaya, the man who challenged the gods.

Instead of his certain old classmate, Izaya ran into someone else who was well known in these parts of the city.

"Tickets~ tickets to Ruri-chan's shooow~ I sell tickets! Exclusive and limited!"

With a light smile, Izaya walked up to the foreigner and raised his hand in greeting. "Yo, Kaztano-san."

"Ah! Izaya! Good see you! Looking for some tickets? Or anything else? I can grant any wish!" the partially balding old man with a gut slightly hanging out but covered by the signboard that hung around his neck grinned widely.

"Any wish you say?" Amused, Izaya played along. He was bored and it was something to pass time until he could think of another plan to make Shizuo fall in love with him. No, Shizuo did love him, he just needed a gentle push in the right direction to realize it.

Or so Izaya tried to make himself firmly believe.

"Any wish! I can grant! Just insert money!" Kaztano patted his fat stomach. Izaya chuckled at his joke.

"Alright then. How about this for a change. I need to have someone fall in love with me. Got something?"  
"Ah, luv potions? I has those!" quickly the man grabbed his mysterious and ragged bag and rummaged through, pulling out random assortments of colored bottles.

"Ah, no no. No drugs and aphrodisiacs. I've had enough of those please." Izaya grimaced at the idea.

"Aah, but these work! Like unsolved miracles of virgins and babies!" Kaztano exclaimed, waving his hand in the air, his fingers wiggling like a magician.

"No thank you. Well if that's all you have to offer…" Izaya inclined his head and was about to head off

"Wait! Wait! I has more!" Kaztano desperately grabbed the fur coat clad young man.

Izaya curiously turned and waited as Kaztano pulled out even more random things from his bag.

"This! Is device! With music that make one fall in luv!" Kaztano pulled out a pink and white headset. Izaya looked at it with incredulous smile.

"Hmm… no thank you."

"Oh, okay! But I also have  _this_  then! This! Is tool yoo insert inside virgins and love juice will flow!"

"… I don't think I need that either."

"Yoo fight hard bargain! Okay, then this! Sunglasses that makes yoo find trool luv!"

"… I said I needed the person to fall in love with me, not find someone else~"

"Tough customer yoo are! Fine then this! Cellphone which makes yoo listen his heart beat beating just foo yoo!"

"…Again that's a bit different from what I have requested."

"Well then!" Kaztano placed his hands on his hips. "I give yoo advise and gifts, yet yoo do not take! How are yoo gonna have this virgin luv yoo if yoo be this diffricult?"

Izaya chuckled at his antics, a bit of tears gathering slightly around the corners of his eyes.

"Alright, alright. I'll take some advice. Just no weird gadgets, drugs and potions."

"Hmm…" Kaztano rubbed his chin wisely.

"I has classic advise."

"Oh? And that is?"

"Yoo try call this virgin?"

Izaya still laughed at the thought of Shizuo being a virgin. Well, he was until three weeks ago or so if he was correct.

"Yes, this person doesn't like my calls though."

"Ah, you stalking?"

"Ahahaha… I wouldn't call it that but no stalker admits that they're stalking." Izaya shrugged.

"Yoo try be nice? Give good food? Full belly make one happy!"

"Tried that, didn't work."

"Hmm this is tough virgin to crack!"

"Hahaha… why yes. Yes, that's pretty true." Izaya smiled almost fondly at what had happened within this week as he tried his best to woo the man.

"Yoo try love letter? If virgin no take phone call, at least yoo can write. Virgin can't hang up on yoo." Kaztano still folded his arms though he unfolded one arm briefly to wave it around like a wise old man going through his list of experiences.

"Tried that few years back. It landed in the waste basket."

"Then try again! Few years back is long time! Maybe virgin changed mind!"

"Well, that's quite doubtful."

"No, no, no. Yoo try hard! Tell this virgin how much yoo luv."

"Ah… well you see, I don't…" Izaya trailed off, stopping himself from saying the rest of the sentence.

"That yoor problem! Yoo don't explain well first time! Virgin think you annoying! Yoo explain better! Write it all out! Happy ending!"

Izaya paused, listening to Kaztano wordlessly as he thought to himself.

"It worth shot! Trust me on this!" Kaztano slapped the informant's back happily when he saw that Izaya was actually contemplating this idea.

"Now pay up! I give advise! Yoo took!"

Izaya chuckled as he rummaged through his pockets and dropped a few yen into those grubby hands.

"Alright, you win Kaztano-san. Here's something for your two cents*"

"Good, good! I like good customers! Remember to pay me double when my advise work, Orihara-san!" Kaztano happily patted the man on his shoulders.

"Will do. And possibly more." Izaya laughed as he waved and walked away.

At first he didn't think much about Kaztano's throw-away advice, not really thinking it would work anyway, but the more he walked away, the more it solidified in his head.

Besides, he had no other plans in mind anyway. It was possibly worth a shot.

* * *

Izaya sighed as he sat in front of his desk, contemplating. He realized that he had been sighing a lot lately. He stared at his empty paper, twirling his pen between his fingers while his work area was littered with crumpled half-written letters.

"This is ridiculous..." Izaya commented to no one in particular but to the inanimate objects around him. "I mean, a love letter?" The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded.

But nothing else had worked so far. Sending him gifts didn't work, pouring money on him didn't work, buying him his favorite food and things didn't work, and even showing the faded scar didn't work. Shizuo just came, replaced it with another mark and moved on with his life as if nothing happened. And nothing changed.

Izaya hated the plateau in their relationship. The state of 'in-between' where it was neither hot or cold but lukewarm. Neither love or hate but that wavering stage of awkwardness. Izaya wanted to bring change.

"But the best gift in this world was always free..." Izaya murmured to himself, reminding him that he should at least give this a try.

The informant tossed the pen and got up. He stretched his arms and yawned, tired from sitting all day. He looked through his vast collection of books at a random just to ease his mind and wait for some inspiration.

While fingering through the shelves, his fingertip touched a rather dusty old album he had not looked at in awhile. With a small smile, Izaya pulled it off the shelves and look through.

Sure enough, it was his year book from his high school days.

Leafing through the pages, he chuckled at some of the pictures in there as well as comments he had left on them. His eyes landed on a picture of Shishizaki senpai and blanched, quickly shuffling through the pages to skip over a collection of bad memories.

Then an envelope fell from the book to his feet in the process of rapidly flipping the pages. Curious, Izaya bent down to pick up the envelope. He opened it and shook. Two buttons fell into his palm.

His red eyes gleamed in recognition.

"Ah... so I still kept them. Heh, of course I would." Izaya mumbled to himself as he touched the buttons with his fingertips gently, caressing the familiar markings.

He inserted the buttons back into the envelope, folded it and shoved it in his pocket. Taking his album of memories, Izaya grabbed his coat and walked out of his studio in search of more inspiration.

* * *

Four days has passed since Shizuo had re-marked Izaya.

And ever since the day he possessively bitten him again as his, Izaya stopped all communications. All the gifts stopped arriving too. There was no sight or smell of the flea anywhere in Ikebukuro.

At first Shizuo was relieved, feeling less stressed. Then he felt angry that Izaya had given up so easily, which led to slightly disappointment in himself for still being unable to give up on the man.

By the fourth day, the debt collector was overly anxious, wondering if the flea had gotten himself killed. Shizuo knew Izaya. Whether he wanted to or not, Shizuo knew him well. And he knew, Izaya wouldn't give up so easily.

Which only meant, something was preventing Izaya.

After another full day of being aggravated until his stress level peaked, Shizuo went to Izaya's apartment after work. He gave up on his pride, he just wanted to make sure that Izaya was alright. It was strange for him to stop all communications and also not pick up his phone calls. Izaya was a troll to the core. There was no way Izaya wouldn't take the chance to strike if he saw an opening to attack Shizuo.

Shizuo figured if Izaya asked why he was here, he could say he came back to make sure that the mark was still there or something. The excuse made no sense but it sufficed enough for the simple debt collector.

The blond pressed the door bell and waited for three seconds. He was about to kick the door open, thinking Izaya was purposefully hiding inside, when the door swung open. He had his leg half raised to kick and stopped, sheepishly lowering it as the young girl's round eyes curiously looked up at him.

"May I help you Shizuo-san?"

"Uhh.. is Izaya in?"

"He's not."

"Right. As if I'm going to believe that." Shizuo opened the door further and walked inside. He half expected Izaya to be sitting on his usual swivel chair but it was empty. Greeted with only silence, Shizuo frowned. He sniffed the air and sure enough, the flea's stink wasn't here.

"Shizuo-san?" Kida walked down the stairs, surprised at seeing the debt collector. "Is there something you needed?"

"Where's Izaya?" Shizuo asked straightforwardly as he adjusted his shades.

"Good question. We are wondering the same thing." Kida raised his hands in the air and shrugged. "Namie-san is about to go insane. One day, he just went up and left. Told us he had something urgent to take care of and if an emergency popped up, work it out amongst ourselves. Such a cruel employer really."

Shizuo didn't have to believe him but he did. He tsk'ed. It was something Izaya would do too.

Shrugging, the debt collector turned to leave. As long as Izaya was alive and fine, it was enough.

"Shizuo-san?" Saki asked as she followed the blond out and closed the door behind her. Shizuo turned at her call.

"Did you come just to check on Izaya-san?" Saki's eyes danced in amusement. Though different color, it strangely reminded Shizuo of the flea's.

Frowning, Shizuo grunted. "It's none of your business. And it's not what you're thinking."

"Oh? So are you an esper too? If you can guess what I'm thinking."

"Dunno what you're talking about kid, but wipe that smirk off your face when talking to your elder. Figures Izaya would teach you crap manners."

Saki giggled but her eyes still focused on the debt collector intensely.

"Shizuo-san~ Let me ask you a quick question. Did Izaya-san ever talk about being a 'god' with you?"

"What are you trying to get at, kid?"

"Nothing. I just want to know the truth."

"Did he talk about some weird mythology and bible gibberish? Yeah. So what."

"Ah~ So he did say he wanted to be your god?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "He's nothing but a flea, a parasite that crawls and sucks blood off of others."

"Seeing you getting angry, it means I'm right huh?" Saki's smile still remained on her face.

"Get to the point kid." Shizuo didn't agree nor deny it.

"All I'm saying is, Izaya-san is sometimes awkward with how he approaches things. He's not a very straightforward person."

"No shit." Shizuo snorted.

"And sometimes, you have to think about the meaning behind his words, what he's really trying to convey."

"Why should I?" Shizuo's eyes glared down at the girl. But she didn't cower. Saki stood still and tall as she steadfastly locked eyes with the violent beast of Ikebukuro.

"Because you'll really lose something very precious if you don't realize the teachings behind his words."

Shizuo wanted to bark back that nothing  _precious_  came out of the flea's mouth. But the young girl's passionate and intense eyes stopped the blond.

"Good luck Shizuo-san. I'm sure Izaya-san will come back to you." With a light smile, Saki waved cheerfully at the debt collector before she went back inside.

A strange feeling washed over the debt collector, almost like an enchantment or a spell. Not quite sure what the side-effects were to her magical words, Shizuo left the building, less frustrated than before.

* * *

Izaya closed the PC room behind him with a tired but satisfied sigh. It was the same PC room that he asked the manager to keep for him. While Izaya liked to give an illusion that he had run far away to another country whenever Namie or his clients bothered him, he could never be quite far from his beloved Tokyo and its people. And of course, the internet. This was the one place that no one knew about and the place he went when he needed some solitude. The PC room he had had a small bed and a desk with a internet hooked computer. It had all the essentials he needed.

He smiled as he held the small envelope addressed to "Heiwajima Shizuo." It took total of five days to come up with something but hopefully it was worth it.

"And this time, Shizu-chan, I hope you don't crumple it and stomp on it like last time." Izaya murmured as he walked out of the building, finally back to the sunlight and the blue sky. He could still remember that faithful day on top of their high school roof where Izaya had sent his first 'love letter' addressed to Shizuo, writing his name as the sender. The Bloody Valentine's love letter didn't quite count since he had pretended to be a girl then.

And there was still a pang in his chest as he remembered Shizuo crumpling his 'love letter' in front of him.

Granted, it wasn't quite a proper love letter. It just asked Shizuo to meet him on top of the roof top at a certain time. If a girl had sent it, Shizuo would have realized it as a confession letter just like it was the case with the Bloody Valentine's letter. But because this time he had signed his name, Shizuo took it as a letter of challenge for a duel.

Izaya sighed. So many misunderstandings over such simple matters just because the protozoan head had an underdeveloped brain.

"Well this time, he can't mistake it as anything  _but_  a love letter."

Kaztano was right, Izaya decided. The first time, he wrote it vague. He had never fully explained to Shizuo and half-assed it in fear of getting rejected. And thus the misunderstanding formed. Not that Izaya could ever think that Shizuo would suddenly understand and love him over a mere love letter. He would think of it as another form of a prank, given their history.

But this time,  _this time_ , he did it right. And if Shizuo rejected him this time...

Izaya decided not to think ahead. No matter what his hypothesis was, Shizuo would always find a way to overthrow it anyway.

"Best to keep a clear head." Izaya said aloud as he phoned for a courier to deliver the letter to Shizuo within today. The post office would take few days and he wanted to make sure it would arrive to Shizuo at a proper time. By 7pm or so, Shizuo should be home after work.

"And in the end, everything comes back to where it all started." Izaya nodded, talking to himself. After handing the precious letter to the courier, Izaya headed towards Awakusu-kai, Shiki's gallery.

* * *

Unknown to Izaya, Shizuo had stayed home that day. Not because he wanted to, but rather, Tom's relative had given birth to a baby and he had to rush over to check on his cousin and congratulate the happy couple.

Shizuo was in an unusual mood after meeting with Izaya's protegee. As if he was walking through clouds of illusion. He couldn't quite understand what she had meant yet he did at the same time. He remembered how he was so close to figuring out what Izaya had really meant, that one night. That one ridiculous night where Izaya was tied to his bed wearing a skanky maid outfit and lingerie.

The blond's face flushed at the memory. The fact that that night was when Shizuo was the closest in knowing Izaya's true inner self was also the night when he also got to know him physically on a more intimate level. The irony laughed at his face.

But going back on it, Izaya had mentioned about being his god. And how he wanted to control him. As a high school student, he remembered how angry he was at hearing those words from the flea. But now grown up, Shizuo could clearly see that there was more to his words and actions.

"If only you aren't so stubborn, Izaya." Shizuo grumbled as he sat in his couch lazily and flipped through the channels on his brand new flat screen T.V. Nothing interesting was on but he still surfed through them aimlessly. His place was still filled with unopened boxes of gifts that Izaya had given him. Just looking at them gave him so much stress, Shizuo ignored them to the best of his ability.

The doorbell rang as the man yelled, "Delivery!"

At first Shizuo ignored that too.

Then he paused.

Immediately he got up and rushed to the door. Shizuo almost ripped the door open and stared down at the delivery man, half expecting another large quantity of presents from Izaya.

Instead, the man held out a plain envelope. Shizuo took it regardless and his eyes widened as he read the sender's name.

-From: Orihara Izaya-

He quailed the urge to rip open the letter. Instead he carefully cut the end and shook to pull the letter out.

Two buttons fell out first, then few pages of hand written papers followed.

Curious, he eyed the buttons briefly, not quite recognizing them at first. He quickly unfolded the long letter and read.

And read.

And read.

And read.

His hands shook as the hand that held the buttons tightened its grip.

The letter ended with Izaya asking him to meet him at the rooftop of their old high school at 8pm that day.

And that he would be waiting.

Shizuo quickly folded the letters and shoved it back into the envelope. Pocketing both the buttons and the letter, Shizuo rushed out.

It was only 3pm, but he decided he would rather wait for Izaya at their starting point.

Back at their old Raijin High School's rooftop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *author's note: Yes well… that 'two-cents' part doesn't translate well from Japanese to English in meaning but you understand what I mean I hope. I can't really say 'two yen' since two yen is barely used in Japan…
> 
> And hurray for Kaztano x Izaya? ship it with me guys! \o/
> 
> Novel spoiler : Actually more like Shizuo Gaiden Spoiler.
> 
> This fic was written before the Shizuo Gaiden's Bloody Valentine arc was translated (or before it came out. i forget .. I just remember screaming in happiness at reading the Bloody Valentine then crying that my fic is now inaccurate since it's already posted and I can't change it anymore)
> 
> In it basically, Izaya does send Shizuo and the entire school a love letter pretending to be a girl. Shizuo doesn't crumple it and keeps it. (If i had know he'd do that, I'd have changed the story to fit that scene in it. ) But since I didn't know, I fixed it around slightly so I can make it more canon without screwing up more. I apologize and please understand. Thank you.
> 
> END SPOILER


	39. Chapter 39

Shiki walked out of his gallery with his men. He pulled out his zippo and was about to lit his cigarette when someone held out a lighter in front of him. Shiki looked up to see the famous Shinjuku informant smirk.

Smoothly, Shiki turned his head to light the cigarette in his mouth. The Yakuza dropped the zippo back into his pocket.

"Didn't know you carried lighters, Orihara-san. You don't smoke after all."

"Sometimes they come in handy." Izaya shrugged as he pocked the lighter.

"What brings you here?" Shiki regarded the man. It didn't look like Izaya was here for comfort considering his slightly aloof demeanor that held no irritation.

"Heh~ So I'm not welcomed here without a reason?" Izaya shoved his hands in his pocket and gave him a light shrug.

"You're always here for a reason." Shiki pointed the obvious.

"Ah, very true." was all Izaya said as he stood in front of the Yakuza without any hint of speaking further.

Shiki looked back and nodded his head. The men behind him bowed and walked back inside, leaving the two men alone.

"Smoke break? How's your work going?" Izaya asked as he eyed the man lean against the walls of his building.

"The same old. Putting out fires here and there, the small fries giving us headaches." Shiki shrugged and waited.

Izaya shifted the weight on his feet, looking at the city streets and buildings and away from Shiki.

"Not much has changed huh. Same old buildings, same people... though your position has gotten higher, Shiki-san."

"Since we first met? I suppose."

"I was such a brat. How were you even able to stand me?"

"You're  _still_  a brat."

Izaya chuckled at that.

"Very true."

A few more minutes of silence followed as the smoke lazily danced in the air.

"Shiki-san, remember a few weeks ago, when you brought Shizu-chan here?"

"... of course." Shiki smiled dryly, remembering that day.

"You said I'll thank you later."

"That I did." Shiki admitted, remembering that day with some irony.

"Thank you."

"..." Shiki blinked, stunned to silence.

He turned his head to face the informant who just simply smiled back at him.

Shiki in turn closed his eyes and smiled as he blew his last smoke and stomped his cigarette out.

"I take it you've made up your mind, Orihara-kun." Shiki's stiff voice almost softened as he called him with more familiarity.

"Perhaps."

"This time, I suggest you don't let him go."

"That's up to him, not me."

"Heh, you've grown kid. If you've finally realized you can't control everything."

"Ah~ I'll still  _try_  regardless. Though with Shizu-chan, not much goes according to plan. That much I'll relent."

"I take it you're going to go now to meet him?"

"In few hours yes. I thought I'd come to see you first though."

Izaya checked his watch. It was 5pm. Three more hours to go.

Shiki watched the young man. He looked … free. Relieved and satisfied. As if a shackle that held him down had finally been broken.

"Think he'll accept you?"

"I don't know Shiki-san. But you were right. I never did try did I. Even if he doesn't, I suppose I'd be satisfied with the result in knowing that I at least tried." Izaya smirked. "It's his loss if he doesn't take my offer. He's the one missing out big time. I'm quite a catch after all, don't you think?" He twirled once with his hands still in his pocket, the jacket flailing out briefly as it caught wind.

"Just don't come back to me for comfort. I'm not a leftover." Shiki lifted himself from the wall as he walked back towards the entrance.

"I never said you were a replacement, Shiki-san." Izaya trailed behind him.

"So you say." Shiki nodded at the men guarding the front. "Go get the car. I'd like you to give Orihara-san a ride home."

"There's no need to..." Izaya started but stopped when Shiki turned and smirked, his smile silencing the informant.

The black vehicle with tinted-windows drove to the front.

Shiki opened the door for Izaya and closed it. Izaya rolled down the window to say his goodbyes.

"I wish you luck, Orihara-san." was all he said.

There was much more Izaya wanted to tell him and he hesitated. In the end, he just nodded, his eyes locking with his former lover and gave him a sly smirk.

"Who do you think I am, Shiki-san? I make my own luck."

The Yakuza chuckled and moved away. Izaya rolled up his windows as well, knowing that he had concluded a chapter of his life without any lingering regrets or loose ends.

Shiki stood silently as he watched the car drive away.

His silent reverie came to an abrupt stop as he heard a large crash behind him. Shiki quickly turned to see his men look guilty, between them a large mirror was shattered on the floor.

"What the fuck are you bastards doing to the precious merchandise! This thing is worth more than all your salaries put together!" Shiki immediately barked at the men.

"D-don't worry Shiki-san! Only the glass broke! The frame is safe! We just can replace the glass and..." the men all stammered as the quickly picked up the large antique.

Shiki inspected the mirror and there were almost no damages to the elegant frame. But the broken shards of glass did bother the man as an uneasy feeling stirred within him.

Nevertheless, Shiki wasn't a man who believed in superstition even if he had seen Celty and other supernaturals in his life. For now the most important thing was yelling at the men to get to work.

However the unsettling feeling continued throughout his day.

* * *

Izaya sat in the back seat of the car contemplating. He had emptied his mind and refused to calculate all the possibilities of 'what could happen.' Normally his complex mind would come up with a million possible outcomes and how to react to them.

But this time, Izaya decided to let it go. Whatever happened, it would happen. This was Heiwajima Shizuo. Having a backup plan never worked on him anyway.

Izaya felt relieved and relaxed, instead of feeling apprehension toward the meeting. He had poured everything he wanted to say in the letter. If Shizuo still refused him, then that was that.

Though the meeting did not occur yet, Izaya had come to his own conclusion. He had already confessed properly and whatever the outcome or answer was, it was out of his control. Izaya accepted that fate.

A beep of his cellphone alerted Izaya. He checked to see a new message from Tsukumoya Shinichi.

Izaya frowned. He rarely got messages from Tsukumoya Shinichi, the man who was on his chatroom 24/7. If he even was a  _man_... Izaya never was able to dig out any information on this being who never seem to sleep.

He logged into Tsukumoya's chatroom and typed.

 

  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_What is it._   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Haha, good thing I caught you. Wasn't sure if I could make it in time._   


  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_Your point?_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Wow, so testy! Going somewhere? Busy?_   


  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_You don't poke me unless you needed to brag._   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Gee, you think so highly of me. But this time I have information quite personal to you and if you knew I had it, you'd be dying for more. Heh._   


  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_If you don't have anything further to add, I'm logging off._   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Tsk. Fine. It's your life. But let me just ask you one thing. If you had 30 minutes to live from now on, what would you do? Who would you want to be with?_   


Izaya frowned. He started to type. [I don't see how this pertains to]

But he was cut off. Rather, he couldn't type anymore because suddenly a vehicle had crashed into the back of the car he was riding in.

"What the fuck!" The driver yelled. The man next to him in the passenger seat growled, cursing at how kids these days didn't know who they were messing with.

As the yakuza in front of him opened the door, immediately bullets rained. The burly man in the front screamed as his hand was pierced with the metal bits and hurriedly closed the door.

Izaya's eyes widened. Then more gunshots were fired at their car from behind. The driver quickly hit the gas pedal and sped away. The yakuza in the front dug around for their guns.

"What's going on?" Izaya demanded.

"We don't know sir!"

Izaya looked back. Luckily their car was bulletproof but the vehicle behind them rammed into them again, obviously with the intention to kill.

"Can you recognize the car?" Izaya asked, though he doubted. It was just another black car with tinted windows. The windows were down and he could see a machine gun pointing directly at them.

"No sir!"

"Where's the damn gun?"

"It's underneath the seat idiot!"

"Ugh, fuck!"

"Hey, watch out! There's a car in front of you!"

"Shit!"

More bullets riddled the back of their crushed-in trunk. The Awakusu-kai's driver spun down the curve, skidding as the cars honked at them. The force slammed the informant to the side of the car.

Izaya's phone beeped with more chat message alerts. His hands shaking, Izaya checked the message.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Come on, entertain me here!_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Hello~ I'm still waiting. Or you don't know what you would do? Heh, there's no way. The great Orihara Izaya, unable to answer?_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Helloooo. Orihara-san. Are you alive? Or did you already die?_   


Izaya cursed as he started typing.

  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_How much do you know? Answer me! Who's behind that black vehicle?_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Ah, so you are alive. Good! It wouldn't be fun if you died that early._   


_Izaya forced himself take a deep breath and calm down. Getting angry at him wouldn't result in nothing useful._

  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_Okay. I admit you were right all along. Now tell me what's going on._   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_AHAHAHA! What's this again? The great Orihara Izaya coming to ME for information?_   


_Nice. This is now the second time. You owe me Orihara-san. Though of course, that's only if you live long enough to pay me back._

  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_Answer my question. How much do you know?_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_How much do I know? That's such a vague question. I know everything after all._   


Another slam and Izaya bumped his head against the top of the ceiling of the cramped car. He wasn't sure how long this 'bulletproof-window' would last. The back window looked like a maze of spiderwebs with all the cracks. The man in the front had finally found his guns, loaded them, rolled down the window and started firing away. However it was useless as the other car too was bulletproofed.

'This is bad...' Izaya thought, caught between a Yakuza war. Even if the police came to the scene, it would be bad for all of them regardless. They crashed through the alleyways, trying to lose them, but the car behind them kept close to their tail.

  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_If you truly know everything, you know exactly what information I want. Cut the crap. Tell me who's behind this and what does he want from me?_   


_Or is he just after Awakusu-kai?_

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Before that, you still haven't answered my question. If you had 30 minutes to live, what would you do?_   


_Ah wait. You only have 10 minutes to live now hmm... not much you can do I suppose in your situation._

_I guess you can call someone though haha. Who would you call, Orihara-san? I'm waiting for your answer~_

"Fucking tease!" Izaya screamed. The sound of gunfire was all around him along with the screeching of tires.

'How does he know what's going on right now? Surveillance cameras? Am I being tapped? How does he even know how many minutes I have left to live?' Izaya thought hard.

Then a realization hit him.

  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_A bomb! There's a fucking time bomb in this car isn't there?_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Bingo! But it's not somewhere you can reach._   


As soon as he finished reading, Izaya shouted. "We need to get out of this car! There's a bomb in this car somewhere!"

"What? We can't! As soon as we get out, they'll either run us over or gun us down!" the men in front yelled back. The driver was covered in sweat as he sped pass the cars in the opposite road, hoping it would throw off their pursuers but it was to no avail. Even through the opposite traffic, the car still continued to chase them.

"Shit, we're running out of bullets!" the man yelled as he changed cartridges.

"We're running out of TIME!" Izaya yelled. He quickly checked his phone again.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Well now that you know, what will you do? The bomb is in the engine. You'll have to stop the car to reach it._   


_Besides, do you even know which wires to cut? Haha, I doubt you're a bomb specialist even with your vast knowledge, Orihara-san._

_Oh and by the way. You have five minutes to live. What will you do now?_

  
_Orihara Izaya_   
_Who's behind this? Tell me!_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Ah, so desperate. But with only 5 minutes to live, what good will that information do for you?_   


_Don't you want to use your valuable time to... perhaps spend it with someone you want? Don't humans have flashbacks at their dying moments?_

_Oh wait, you're not really physically dying so I guess not really. Haha. But still! I'm honored that you're spending your final dying moment with me._

_It's the final countdown of a human life, and nothing is more beautiful. Don't you agree, Orihara-san?_

"Shit!" Izaya gave up. Tsukumoya wouldn't be telling him anything useful. He kept going in circles, it was a waste of his time. The  _thing_  was too smart to give him any useful information.

"Can't we lose them? We have only have five minutes!"

"We're trying sir but ughh!" The car skid past another traffic light, and went through another road with less cars. They crashed through trashcans as they ran through another alleyway.

 

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Four minutes, Orihara-san. Still not gonna make your phone call?_   


_Wow, I had no idea you had that little friends to think about on your last minute._

Izaya felt a headache as his heart pounded. There was no way. No way he was dying in four minutes. Was there really a bomb in the car, or was Tsukumoya bluffing?

No. Tsukumoya was an informant just like him. Informants may bend truth or hide a little information but they never lied.

He knew that Tsukumoya prided himself with his information.

There was indeed a time bomb in the car. It would go off in less than four minutes. And someone was indeed chasing them down to kill them.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Three minutes, Orihara-san._   


Cold sweat dropped down Izaya's back as his hand that held his phone shook violently. The car shuddered with him as they bulldozed through the maze of streets of Ikebukuro. But the labyrinth had no exit. They were trapped with the deadly monster behind them and their own vehicle rigged with a time bomb.

There was no escape.

Orihara Izaya had to accept his fate.

He would die in less than...

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Two minutes Orihara-san. Really, you have no one you want to talk to?_   


His teasing remarks didn't even register in Izaya's mind. With the car rattling, the sound of bullets in the air, Izaya took a deep shaky breath and let it out.

Should he call someone? Did he want to tell them something? If so, who should he call?

Mairu? Kururi?

Shiki-san?

But Izaya knew without a doubt in his mind.  
 _  
Shizu-chan._

_I want to call Shizu-chan._

Izaya checked his watch. It was only 5:43pm. Shizuo wouldn't be home until around 7pm. He wouldn't have gotten the letter yet. And he would be pissed at him for disappearing for 5 days.

Izaya smiled wryly at the irony.

"Shizu-chan. For two weeks you never picked up my phone calls. Why would you... even pick it up now?"

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_One minute! Ah~ this is getting so exciting!_   


"Bastard." Izaya muttered at the phone. But he didn't want to waste time on Tsukumoya in the final minute of his life.

Izaya quickly typed Heiwajima Shizuo's phone number. His finger hovered over the green 'send' button.

Should he call him? What if he didn't pick up? What was there to tell him? The man did not read his love letter yet. It was useless and pointless. Even if Shizuo did pick up his phone and Izaya told him that he was dying and that he loved him, Shizuo would never believe him. Such a sudden confession would not work.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_30 seconds!_   


Izaya cursed himself. He wished he could revert back time. He wished he had said that they would meet earlier, not 8pm. In fact, he wished he could have confessed long before. He wished he wasn't so stubborn. There were plenty of times Izaya could have just given up on his pride and told Shizuo he loved him. He wished he wasn't such a coward. He wished for a lot of things he knew he couldn't have anymore.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_15 seconds!_   


"Shizu-chan..." Izaya gritted his teeth. Still undecided.

"I'm sorry I couldn't... keep my promise." Izaya felt saddened at the thought of Shizuo waiting for him at the rooftop. Even if Shizuo hated him, he was a man of integrity. Shizuo would undoubtedly wait for him even if he were to say he couldn't accept the confession. Because Shizuo was that kind of a guy, he would never let the other person wait, and wonder if he would come or not. Shizuo would be the type to come to decline in person without making the person wait painfully.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_10 seconds!_   


'I should call... and let him know... that I can't come.' Izaya cringed at the thought.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_9 seconds_   


'But he wouldn't even know what I would be talking about.'

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_8 seconds_   


'He wouldn't know about the meeting. Suddenly telling him I'm canceling wouldn't make sense!'

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_7 seconds_   


'Shit! Does it even matter? I'm running out of time!'

The car skidded down an empty parking lot. The man in front continued to fire away his last remaining bullets.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_6 seconds_   


'Shizu-chan...' Izaya's fingers trembled, his heart pounding as the very thought of the blond made him tear up in his final moment.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_5 seconds~ Oops or is that 4? Hmm_   


'Shizu-chan!' Izaya's mind screamed his name. He didn't care anymore. He needed to call him. And even if Shizuo refused him, he needed to say those three words. He needed to tell them to Shizuo in person.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_3 seconds~_   


Izaya gritted his teeth. He needed to tell Shizuo.

He pressed 'send' with all of his might.

Simultaneously, the car engine exploded as the bomb went off, causing the vehicle to veer out of control.

As the Awakusu-kai's car spun, the black car behind them rammed into them from the side.

The Awakusu-kai's car spun again, facing backward. The black car rammed them again from the front, crushing them against a wall of a building.

The machine gun fired, the front of the window shield finally shattering as the bullets rained.

The gunmen paused after they had emptied their magazine. There was only silence in the car in front of them.

And just to make sure, they backed up once then slammed harshly forward.

The sickening crunch was heard as the car was sandwiched in-between, the metals bending in odd-shapes.

Blood pooled down the car doors as the bodies were crushed inside.

Satisfied, the black car drove off swiftly as the police sirens and ambulance blares closed in on them.

The phone inside the car continued to beep messages to its owner.

  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Orihara-san~ Are you there? Did the car explode yet? Did I forget to mention that I think the time bomb was also set so that it would explode if you made a call on your phone too? Or maybe I just timed my countdown wrong. Hmm... Ah whichever. Did you die now? How lame. I expected some more fun out of this. I mean, seriously. Orihara-san, you just lost the game! Haha. Haha!_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha_   
_Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha_   
_Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha_   
_Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha_   


  
_Tsukumoya Shinichi_   
_Ah well, since you've lost the game now, I might as well tell you what you wanted to know. The man behind this is Yadog-_   


Just then, the phone short circuited and shut down, drowned in red sticky liquid.

* * *

"Ah, Tom-san. Twins? Wow, congratulations! And send them my regards." Shizuo smiled happily. He was going to meet Izaya in about 2 hours and 15 minutes. He hoped and believed that the letter wasn't false. If it wasn't, then he was the happiest man in the world right now.

No, he IS the happiest man in the world at the moment.

"Oh do I sound that happy? Well I guess I am haha..." Shizuo chuckled.

"Mmm... no I'm not home at the moment. I'm at my old school. Just... reminiscing. Nothing really."

Shizuo blinked. He felt a light static in his ear and he pulled the phone away for a brief moment.

It looked normal.

"Tom-san? Still there? Ah yes, sorry. I thought I had an in-coming call. I guess not. And yes, I'll see you tomorrow."

Shizuo turned off his phone. Smiling contently, he leaned his back against the wall on top of the Raira high school's rooftop, sitting on the concrete floor. He felt calm and at peace and at the same time, slightly giddy and bubbly.

He wondered what he should tell Izaya or how he should face him.

He wondered if Izaya had dinner and if they should go eat somewhere together.

He wondered briefly what Izaya would like to eat together.

He wished 8pm would come sooner.

8pm came by and went.

9pm went by and there was no sign of Izaya.

10pm, Shizuo had finished all his packs of cigarette and waited with growing anger.

11pm, Shizuo was pacing around the rooftop in anger. He even tried calling the louse but the phone went straight to voice mail.

"Of course. Why did I even trust him to begin with." Shizuo sighed as he leaned against the fence, looking out at Ikebukuro, their home town. It was cold and dark on top of the rooftop as he stood there alone, gazing at the bright artificial lights ahead.

"I hate you after all Izaya. I shouldn't have ever given you the chance."

Shizuo had believed that this time Izaya wasn't lying. But he sighed as he thought, 'I should have known better. You did say you wanted to get your revenge and to crush my heart. Well, you did a damn fucking good job alright, louse.'

The debt collector did think it was strange of Izaya to not show up, since Izaya was the type to watch other people suffer.

Shizuo waited until midnight, then he opened the door to leave the rooftop. As he closed the door, he promised to himself, he would never return to Izaya again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This ends the 3rd arc. Now starts the 4th and final arc. Anyways, hopefully I can end 4th arc soon. Thank you for reading and leaving comments. I appreciate every single one of them!


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note (Written December 2010): (Nothing important here, feel free to skip)  
> Wow erm… thank you for the overwhelming response there o.o;;; I was shocked.
> 
> But yay for Vol. 9 teaser! anni-fiesta.livejournal.com/50078.html Izaya's past will be revealed!  
> If I said I wanted to take a hiatus until February 10th just in case the book 9 has more Yadogiri Jinnai… … would you all kill me? =_=;; sob…
> 
> Oh well. Perhaps in another fic, I'll be able to write a proper Yadogiri vs. Izaya fic.  
> And I'm happy to hear people are shipping Shinichi x Izaya! *giddy* it's a hot pairing guys~  
> Thank you again for all the comments! You made this author very happy ;_;  
> Now starting. Final arc. I hope I can make it to the finish line… alive.

Shizuo woke up groggily, tired from little sleep. He went and took a warm shower, his eyes still sleepy. It was just another day to him. It would always be another day to him. He had given up on Izaya completely now, and the next time he saw the louse, he planned to throw a vending machine to his face for punking him last night, just like how it should be.

He went to the fridge to drink the milk out of the carton. The blond wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and licked at the dribble. Returning the milk back into the fridge, Shizuo walked back to get dressed.

He dug around and found the bartender outfits Kasuka had given him. Shizuo decided that after work, he planned to throw out all of Izaya's gifts.

All of them.

They were cluttering his living space and it annoyed the hell out of him to see it exist. That and he decided he would move to somewhere else. This new place wasn't his home. It stank of the flea and Shizuo felt disgusted. He felt like he was losing to Izaya, as if the flea was kicking him out but he couldn't remodel his place on his own.

He would figure out a way to return the 'favor,' later. Either way, he needed to find a new place to live.

As he made ready to leave for work, a familiar ringtone rang from his phone.

Curious, Shizuo picked it up.

"Kasuka? Hey, what's up."

"Aniki." Kasuka's monotone voice flowed into Shizuo's ears. But to the older Heiwajima, he could tell it sounded more grim than usual.

"Have you checked the news lately?"

"No, that thing's boring and filled with nothing but violence."

"I think you should watch the news, aniki."

Something about Kasuka's solemn tone made Shizuo stop at the door way, turn back, and walk back to his living room. He clicked on his remote to check the news.

"…This is Sanako Nozomu, live, at the site of the crime. As you can see, there's tire burn marks as well as the etches of fires on the building wall that clearly shows how terrible this explosion was. Reporting from…" the lady spoke as the camera-man zoomed in on the burned marks of the parking lot.

Shizuo frowned, still not quite understanding what Kasuka was referring to. He watched a bit longer, ready to turn it off when he caught a familiar name.

"…there were two casualties and one mortally wounded. The two were so brutally slaughtered, they were almost unrecognizable. The only surviving man, Orihara Izaya is in critical condition as he was rushed to the nearest General Hospital. The government formally made an announcement denouncing the use of illegal firearms as well as trafficking…"

'Wait, what?' Shizuo flipped around to other news channels, trying to find more information, since the reporter had moved the topic to the issues of guns in Japan.

"… The senator clearly made a formal apology to Tokyo regarding public safety. He spoke against these uses of guns and he would make sure that there will be no further smuggling of…"

*click*

"…people of Tokyo are still terrified as some of them have witnessed first hand the chase as the two black cars raced down the streets of Tokyo, shooting openly in public. Luckily no one else was hurt. The criminals are still at large while there were two casualties and one man in critical condition. The senator said…"

*click*

"… around 5:30 to 5:45pm yesterday, an unknown black vehicle chased down another, both firing away illegal firearms. There were two casualties and one man who was mortally wounded. Orihara Izaya was taken to the General Hospital and is in critical condition. The criminals at fault are still at large. The senator denounced the smuggling of illegal firearms…"

The rest faded away into static in Shizuo's ears as his mind blanked out the information.

Izaya.

He was taken down. Or perhaps gunned down. He wasn't sure exactly what happened but it happened around 5:30pm.

And he was mortally wounded.

'He couldn't make it…' Shizuo realized, blood draining from his face. 'It's not that he broke the promise… he couldn't keep the promise.'

Forgetting to turn off the T.V., Shizuo bolted out of his apartment, heading toward the hospital.

* * *

"No interviews please. Orihara-san is not even awake yet." Shiki said calmly as the four Awakusu-kai bodyguards pushed away the reporters.

"This is a serious matter! Were you responsible for trafficking the guns in Japan?"

"Was the vehicle used in smuggling the firearms?"

"Did a deal go wrong? Is that why they were chasing down your car? Because you guys were trafficking the..."

"Are you responsible for the..."

The reporters continued to fire away their questions as the police officers shoved their way through. One of them was able to shove his way through the hospital hallway and the massive crowds of reporters, holding up the police badge.

"Police! We're from the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department Public Security Bureau. Shiki-san I presume? I believe the vehicle was under your name?"

Shiki looked down at the man indifferently. "Yes, that is true."

"You are coming with me. I need to speak to you and the passenger, Orihara Izaya under the suspicion of smuggling and trafficking the illegal firearms to our nation. You might also be found guilty of treason as well as..."

"Ah, ah, ah... Shiki-no-danna is not going anywhere without a proper lawyer." Akabayashi interrupted as he swung his cane in the middle of the two men.

"Do you even have a proper warrant?" Aozaki intervened as well. The police officers took one look at the tall burly man in blue shirt and black suits and cowered slightly. Muscles obviously rippled underneath the fabric as he cracked his knuckles.

"Y-you can't threaten the police!"

Aozaki shrugged. "My hands were itching. I was merely cracking my knuckles. Besides, I suggest you carry a proper warrant before arresting taking custody of Shiki-san and Orihara-san."

"Orihara-san is still in a critical condition and is in no condition whatsoever to accept your audience. So now, if you'll excuse us." Shiki said gravely as he walked back into the hospital room. Aozaki and Akabayashi followed, closing the door firmly behind them while the other four Awakusu-kai men looked menacing enough to scare off the fighting crowd.

"How is he?" Shiki sighed tiredly as he walked in.

"Not very good. The surgery went well... as well as it could go according to the surgeon I spoke with." Shinra admitted. He had insisted that he was a good friend of Orihara Izaya and that he was a medical student. Though doctors rarely explained the medical situations of their patience outside of family members, they made it an exception with Shinra's convincing story that Izaya had no other family in Japan other than his sisters who were minors.

"I looked through the medical charts, the doctors did their best alright. But his legs are shattered completely, crushed under all that..." Shinra coughed regretfully. "Sorry about your subordinates. The doctors couldn't save them. The engines in the front were shoved backward into their stomach. It was impossible for them to..."

"It's alright. I've heard of the case already." Shiki waved his hand, dismissing it.

Shinra nodded. "The only reason why Izaya survived was because you guys had nothing in the trunk. The metal bits crushed into the empty space, trapping him in it seems."

"So? How am I going to go home now?" Namie sighed as she looked toward the door. There were still banging and loud noises of the reporters still requesting to see Izaya.

Shinra laughed bitterly while Celty remained silent as always.

"This indeed is troublesome. Awakusu-san and the young master won't be happy that the organization made it to the top news. Too much unwanted attention." Akabayashi voiced his concern. He still had a faint smile on his lips but his eyes were serious.

"I'll take care of it." Shiki waved his hand to dismiss the topic. He glared at Akabayashi as a warning. They were in the presence of others and it wasn't a topic to be taken lightly.

"Of course, it's not even a question. It is your responsibility. If you can't, then I'll have to take certain steps. Don't you dare even think about taking the easy way out. You aren't worthy enough for the honorable seppuku." Aozaki who stood next to the other side of Shiki said solemnly to his colleague.

"Hey, there's no need for threats here…" Akabayashi shot a glance through his shade, pass Shiki's head since he was the shorter of the two.

"There were none. Just stating the facts. Rules should be followed or it'd give bad examples for others." Aozaki replied back calmly.

"Gentlemen,  _please_. Like I said, I'll take care of it." Shiki frowned as he pushed the two away from his sides as if they were just annoying gnats. "We'll talk later of the matter. Right now, I need some answers." And with that, Shiki took control of the atmosphere that was tensing around him and stared at the doctor expectedly.

"Well… Izaya is obviously in no condition to talk right now… haha…" Shinra adjusted his glasses nervously at the tension around him.

"When will he wake up?"

"We… don't know. Perhaps in few days? His brain is showing signs of activity so he's not a vegetable. The main thing right now is if he can walk again."

Shiki stared at the silent man in his bed with wires that gauged his heart beat, blood pressure amongst other things. Izaya had an oxygen mask on his face and was bandaged heavily.

"Never seen you so silent before Orihara-kun, even when you slept by me." Shiki whispered, inaudible to others save for himself. It was certainly a rare sight to see Izaya in such a weakened state.

"Yagiri-san, I need your cooperation in this matter."

Namie shrugged as she stared at the man in white suits. "There's not much I can answer." She coldly replied.

"Well, we need to know if the assailant was after just Orihara-san or Awakusu-kai in general." Shiki thought carefully. "Or both, since Orihara-san did provide us with crucial information that helped our organization. By going after Orihara-san could also mean he was trying to cripple the Awakusu-kai's information line…"

Just then, there were even louder noise outside the room. Everyone turned as there were shouts and yelling right before the door burst open and a certain blond beast of Ikebukuro, the man called the violence incarnate walked in. Hanging around his arm were two Awakusu-kai men, dangling almost comically to try to stop his advances.

"I'm going to see Izaya and you aren't stopping me!" Shizuo shouted as he tried to pry off one of the men from his shoulder.

"Kiyama, Ono. Let him go." Shiki ordered. The two men did as he was told as Shizuo brushed his clothes and scowled back.

"I'm impressed none of my men are hurt, Heiwajima-san. It's been awhile hasn't it." Shiki said smoothly as his two men walked back out and closed the door behind them.

"Shizuo? What are you doing he-" Shinra started.

But Shizuo didn't even bother with anyone around him as he rushed forward and pulled the curtains to the side. His face paled at the sight of Izaya hooked up to the several machines and his arm pierced with an IV needle.

He turned and pointed his finger menacingly at the man in white suit and roared, "You!"

Shiki didn't budge as he looked at the raging beast calmly.

"You again! You are behind this aren't you? This is all your plan again!" Shizuo threw a punch at that smirking face.

Swift like a bolt of lightening, Akabayashi came in between the punch and Shiki. He flung out his ornate cane straight forward and stopped the punch from connecting. Despite his anger, Shizuo looked at the cane that was able to stop his punch, following it to the smiling wielder with a flaming red hair.

"Now, now. Heiwajima-san. This is all a misunderstanding. We come in peace. We're here for the same reasons as you are. We want answers as to who tried to kill Orihara-san." Akabayashi's composed voice did not match up with the power and the force that was displayed as he held back the god of violence with just one arm.

"Izaya… he was in that your car right?" Shizuo glared at Shiki who stood behind Akabayashi.

Shiki replied simply, "Yes."

"So then, they could have thought that  _you_ were in the car instead of Izaya." Shizuo calmly theorized.

"It's a possibility. We're here to question Izaya the same thing amongst others." Shiki closed his eyes and shrugged nonchalantly, pissing off Shizuo even more.

"Either way, we're involved and you are not." Aozaki stepped behind Shizuo and cracked his fingers, curling them into a fist. "I suggest you leave, Heiwajima-san. This doesn't concern you."

"Heh… so… Izaya could have gotten hurt totally by coincidence because someone thought it was that bastard in the white suit in the car huh?" Shizuo's voice was also calm but his body shook with anger that he was barely able to contain within him. "Since you don't know the answer and either way it's 100% still your fault that he was in your fucking car when he was mauled over, you wouldn't have any problem if I pummel your face to a pulp  _HUH?_ " Shizuo was riled up as his anger started to take over.

Akabayashi flinched, his cane slightly quivering as it felt the direct force of Shizuo's rage. Shinra looked back and forth between his friend and the Awakusu-kai clients of his with dread. Namie took several steps back toward the far corner of the room, wondering if trying to fight against the crowd of reporters were a safer bet than staying in the same room as Shizuo.

"Now, Heiwajima-san. Please remain calm. Violence is not necessary." Shiki said coolly behind the man in red suits.

"If you still refuse to leave peacefully, we have no other choice but to use necessary actions." Aozaki said behind Shizuo. "You won't want to try to take both of us, Heiwajima-san. It won't be pretty."

"It's  _you guys_  who're forcing  _me_  to use violence. And I  _HATE_  v-" Shizuo shouted as he was about to throw another punch at Akabayashi, not caring whatever happened next.

Before Shizuo charged, Celty stepped in and punched the blond's stomach. Akabayashi and Aozaki who were about to take on Shizuo stopped themselves in mid-attack when Celty intervened. The punch itself wasn't painful but it had enough power to send Shizuo to the floor.

Stunned and confused, the blond looked up at his female Dullahan friend as he touched his stomach. Celty quickly typed on her PDA and thrust it into his face.

[Calm down Shizuo! You got it all wrong! They're here to help Izaya! We're all here trying to figure out who did this! You're getting angry at the wrong person!]

After the headless woman was sure that her friend had finished reading, she took her PDA back and typed hesitantly and showed it back to Shizuo.

[I-I'm sorry I hit you. Y-you can hit me back?]

Shizuo stared. Then he burst out laughing, his laughter loud and clear, confusing everyone in the room.

"Thanks Celty. I needed that." Shizuo waved away the PDA. "Even if I'm angry, I can't hit a lady. Besides, you helped me cool my head. Really needed that." Shizuo got up.

Shinra sighed in relief. "I'm glad you're back to your senses Shizuo. I thought I'd have to pull out my emergency kit and stitch you guys back up or something."

"Alright, so tell me what's going on." Shizuo said with a more collected voice.

Akabayashi and Aozaki relaxed their fighting stance though they remained guarded. Shiki stepped forward. From reading Shizuo's movement, he knew he was safe for the moment.

"It's exactly what you see here. Orihara-san came to visit me. I offered him a ride around 17:00." Shiki shrugged. Shizuo's eye brows twitched at hearing that Izaya had visited him but did not ask further.

"The next thing I know, my car is in the news everywhere."

"Izaya's legs are completely shattered. We aren't sure if he can walk again…" Shinra picked up from where Shiki had left.

"He was the only survivor. The other two Awakusu-kai men sitting in the front weren't so lucky…. Awakusu-kai is also struggling with their own problems right now Shizuo. I'm pretty sure that Shiki-no-danna didn't plan all this." Shinra tried to appease his friend too.

Shizuo frowned. "I heard he's in critical condition… is he alright?"

Shinra adjusted his glasses again. "He's passed the danger zone. He's… as alright as he can be I suppose."

Shizuo still quivered slightly in anger as his face looked pained. Celty and Shinra stared curiously at their friend but did not ask what had caused Shizuo to change his opinion on Izaya.

"So… who did this?"

Shinra threw his arms in the air. "We don't know unfortunately."

"You guys are all smart! And you all don't have a single clue?" Shizuo lashed out at Shiki again, who took it calmly.

"Heiwajima-san. That's why we're here. To try to gather some information. Yagiri-san, did Izaya keep a profile of all his enemies."

"Of course." Namie said in her corner.

Everyone waited.

She sighed. "He kept them.  _In his head._ " she explained. "It's not something he'd have written and lying around for anyone else to just pick it up and read."

"Of course. Sounds like what he would do." Shiki nodded. "Do you know any names?"

Namie shrugged. "I didn't bother to keep track. He's got a few who hate him, not many who'd have him dead. Orihara-san is the type to change the course of hatred directed at him to someone else."

"I heard you haven't handed over Orihara-san's cell phone to the police which was at the scene of the accident."

The young secretary flinched a bit. "I was able to take it before they confiscated, yes."

Shiki nodded again. "I'd like to take a look."

Namie sighed. "It's password protected."

"We'll get someone to hack it."

Namie still hesitated. "It… it's not something Orihara-san would like to be passed around."

"Whatever information that's in it, we won't hand it to the police. I take it you're worried it would jeopardize you as a partner in crime? We're only looking for information on people who might have tried to threaten either Orihara-san or Awakusu-kai. If this enemy is solely after Orihara-san, the next target might be you after all."

Namie frowned, her arms folded across her chest. "It doesn't mean I can trust you to keep me safe. Give me a few days and I'll crack it myself. If I find anything useful, I'll hand it over."

"So in the end, none of you know anything." Shizuo growled.

"At least we have information to share, unlike you." Aozaki reminded.

Shizuo flashed an angry glare at the man in the blue suit.

"G-guys, guys. Erm, Izaya probably needs some rest… so since you've all seen him, why don't we leave for now hmm?" Shinra intervened nervously. He realized that having Shizuo here with the two strongest men of Awakusu-kai was just asking for trouble.

Shinra got up and pushed Shizuo out the door, Celty following out with them. Shizuo took a quick look back with concern but decided to leave.

Namie briskly tried to follow but Akabayashi stood in her way with his cane outstretched.

"What's the meaning of this?" Namie glared at Shiki who stood behind her as the door closed. The dreaded sound of the click felt like it signified her doom.

"It's simple really. I'd like you to hand over the phone to us."

"There's no need. I'll crack it and…"

"You've already hacked it haven't you?" Shiki's voice cut through her sentence.

Namie took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"And if I have?"

"We don't need the phone then. We just need names. That's all we ask. The fact that you took that phone before the police could get it means you already knew that that phone held some vital information."

Namie sighed. "I called the phone company and asked for his phone logs since he uses his phone often. Sure enough he was chatting until the last second when the car got hit."

Shiki waited. Namie struggled, wondering if this was a safe bet.

"He was speaking to someone with a chat handle named 'Tsukumoya Shinichi.' But the log of their chat was erased. I don't know any more then that."

"You've been a great help, Yagiri-san." Shiki bowed slightly. Akabayashi removed the cane from her path and she stepped out of the room with a huff.

"Was that information useful?" Akabayashi asked, leaning forward on his cane. Shiki sighed tiredly now that everyone else have left save for Akabayashi and Aozaki.

"Who knows. We'll find out."

"You mean,  _you_  will find out." Aozaki corrected. "And I want to hear a full report on this later, Shiki-san." And with that Aozaki left, slamming the door behind him.

"My, he's quite frustrated." The man with one eye said as he stared at the closed door after his college left. Then he turned back to Shiki. "Have you thought of a plan yet? You're in quite the pickle right now."

"I'll figure something out." Shiki shrugged. He walked over to Izaya and stared down at him in silence.

Thinking perhaps Shiki needed a time alone with Izaya, Akabayashi too left the room, closing the door with a quiet click. The reporters have split into factions now, some following Aozaki, a few following Akabayashi. None dared to follow Shizuo of course, though no one knew who Namie was to follow her. Those who followed Aozaki however ran off after he demonstrated his strength.

Silence fell in the room save for the beeping machines and few noise in the hallways. Shiki continued to look down at the young man with a dark expression.

"What kind of mess have you gotten into this time… Orihara-kun." Shiki's face looked older, aged with a hint of concern in his voice.

"No matter. Looks like I'll be cleaning up after your mess again. For your safety, Orihara-kun, I suggest you lie low this time." Shiki's hand hovered over Izaya's cheek but instead he pulled up the cover of the sheet slightly higher to tuck him in properly.

"Sleep Orihara-kun. At least in your dreams, you'll be safe."

After one final look, Shiki turned to leave, closing the door softly behind him.

And Izaya slept.

And slept.

And slept.


	41. Love Letter

More than two months had passed since the incident. Shizuo had to admit that that 'Shiki-guy' was damn amazing. Not only was he able to calm down the media, he made Izaya a victim of an unfortunate accident, a martyr even, as he was caught in a crossfire at the wrong place at the wrong time. Shiki made it as if that Izaya as an informant had found the people who smuggled the firearms and retrieved some evidences in order to crack down the largest smuggling case that could have been known in Japan but was unfortunately caught and Shiki's men were forced to use the weapons to defend themselves.

Shiki had 9 lawyers defending his case but none were a better lawyer than Shiki himself. That man was a genius, Shizuo thought as he watched the news. He knew when to play the guilty card, the victim card, and the mournful card not to mention the justice card as he cooperated with the police fully in order to catch the said 'criminals.'

Shizuo also wondered how corrupted the police departments in Japan was and how much bribe they ate to cover up the real evidence. The media too ate up the sappy story as they painted Izaya as a great hero.

Within two months, people forgot about the gun incidents and moved on with life. No one remembered it like how it was with any news. Once the juicy parts were laid out, there wasn't much to nitpick at. Those who tried to dig for the real story behind the scenes, it seemed the Awakusu-kai took care of them since no one voiced the truth. Either way, no one else seemed to care as they felt justified at the story that the media presented to them.

After all, it was hard to pin the blame on a man with shattered legs who might never walk, a genius young protégée of an informant who was digging up dirt on criminals like a justice-driven private detective.

A man with bandaged head, cast covered legs and in a coma for more than two months.

With Shiki portraying an image like that, it was hard to argue against him. The public wanted this, and the overwhelming popularity of a saintly Orihara Izaya did well since the public felt safer to know that there was a hero among them, fighting crime in the dark.

Shizuo admitted Izaya was a genius but this Shiki-guy was probably a damn genius too in his own way if he could turn over such an overwhelming tide so easily like a snap of a finger.

The blond debt collector visited Izaya every day, hoping against hope that 'that day' was the day Izaya would wake up.

Unfortunately for Shizuo, the twins refused his visitations, blaming him for everything. It was a baseless accusations but Shizuo complied to them because he could see in their eyes that the twins were suffering. They needed this excuse. And Shizuo understood the need to blame someone, anyone, just to hold onto something.

So Shizuo visited Izaya during his lunch breaks on weekdays when the twins were in school. Tom allowed him take his scheduled lunch breaks and did not question when he came back slightly late sometimes. The blond sat next to the bed of the unconscious and immobile Orihara Izaya, holding his hand as he lost track of time. Holding that warm pulsing hand calmed his nerves only slightly, still deathly scared that one day that hand would grow limp and cold.

Shizuo held onto that hand tightly every day, hoping that somehow Izaya was able to listen to his heart beat throb for him in his sleep.

The blond debt collector also carried Izaya's love letter in his right pocket every day. And he read it at every free chance he had, to remind himself to never let go of Izaya.

Not this time. And never again.

Whenever Shizuo's faith wavered and whenever fear clutched his heart and sank in its poisonous talons, his trembling hand would fumble as he reached for his right pocket to pull out that letter, worn at the edges. He read it over and over, each of Izaya's hand-written words resounding in his ears with courage and hope.

It read:

* * *

To my dear good old classmate,  
Heiwajima Shizuo.

If you are reading this, then I take it you have not yet ripped this letter to shreds. Was it out of curiosity or out of animosity, I wonder your thoughts and expectations were as you opened this humble letter and read these sentences.

To tell you the truth, it took me many hours, even days for me to think of those few starting lines and if you still haven't ripped this to shreds, I applaud your patience.

Ah, ah, don't rip it just yet.

Read it all the way please.

I promise you, it would be my one and last request and I will bother you no further.

Yes, that's right. Aren't you happy? I just promised to you that _'that annoying flea'_ who kept drawing your blood, picking at your wounds and leaving you itchy bite marks will finally hop off your back and find himself a new host to pester.

All I ask is that you read this all the way through.

And don't skim either. I'll know if you did or not. I can read you like a book by now, you know.

Hmm… so where shall I start. Since this will be my first and my last time I'll ever have you truly listen to everything I say. There's much to convey yet none of which could be held within such a small piece of paper or with few strokes of a pen.

I shall start with the number one question you want answered.

What is the meaning of life?

Ah, was that too random for you? Not what you were expecting? I bet you're wondering what that has to do with the purpose of this letter.

But it is the question all human beings think of at one point in their short lives. Many lose their way, a few find their own answers that satisfies them but not a single one of them have the universal answer to that universally unanswered question.

Surely you have questioned it yourself. Even today with you being the man you are, hating your own monstrous existence as you question yourself toward the heaven,

"Why? Why me?"

"Why was I born this way?"

Haha. Now, don't get too mad, it's bad for your blood pressure.

Poor, poor monstrous Shizu-chan… forsaken by this world. Though so many people inhabit this planet, you have yet to find a place where you could fit in.

A monster in human skin.

Haha, are you angry again? But you know it's true.

You hate me don't you Shizu-chan. You really despise me. It's great really. I always claim to love all humans but since you're a monster, you don't fit into that equation.

You are right. You are different from others. Not even Celty can match up to your inhuman strength. It's not human for anyone to possess such a supernatural strength and still be considered a human.

You walk alone.

So someone like you who's not a human and not quite a monster like Celty… what are you really? I'm sure you've questioned your existence every second of your life.

You may say you hate violence and you may say your name means peace but you cannot deny that violence is part of you.

A beast who can possess such super strength, his hatred must also be super strong, don't you agree?

For a being like you to hate me the most, I'm quite honored.

Such a strong emotion, hatred. I admire that emotion really. So many people make decisions based on that emotion alone.

Ah, but did you know? Hatred isn't the strongest emotion in the world.

Aye, there's one other. An emotion that surpasses even that. Throughout history, wars were waged over this one emotion alone, and yet at the same time, peace treaties were signed by this emotion alone. The emotion that can change a human completely 180 and the emotion that can launch a thousand ships. The emotion that people say has no answer, no logic and no cure.

The forever unanswerable emotion just like the forever unanswerable question.

Do you know what that is Shizu-chan?

It's Love. 愛.

It is the one emotion no science nor magic can explain. The one thing along with 'eternal life' that I sought with all my power, money and intelligence combined to find the answer to.

What else could be the strongest magic and the most powerful science in the world if this one emotion alone could cause such a revolution? By controlling this one emotion, one can not change a human, not only just a nation but the world itself will be at your fingertips to do as you wish.

This and the 'eternal life,' are like two of the same aspect, two sides of the same coin. Like yin and yang, I believe that they are the same thing yet the exact opposite. By solving this one mystery, the door to the other unanswerable question could be opened.

It is but of course, a theory of a madman named Orihara Izaya regardless.

But it's not a baseless theory. In many ancient books and scrolls, a 'God' is all powerful being, omnipotent, merciful and loving. A 'God' is a 'God' because he is eternal and an immortal. It is interesting to note that in the Bible, only once is 'God' ever equated with anything and that was 1 John 4:8, "God is Love." Never does it say God is merciful, God is kind, God is omnipotent, powerful etc, etc. No. He is only equated with one thing and that is "Love"

So many Scriptures portray 'Love' and 'God,' an eternal and everlasting being as the same sides of one apple. One can not help but wonder exactly how accurate these ancient scriptures can be if they all lead to what they consider is the 'undeniable truth'.

So how does one control 'Love?' Kings have died to conquer this, science failed to find the ultimate formula and not a single mystic or a fairy know the answer. Strange isn't it, because all humans and even monsters know and feel this emotion and yet no one knows how to control it. You'd think that everyone could gather all their experiences together and finally find the key to this question.

I've read many books Shizu-chan. From modern to ancient. To autobiographies to myths. In every single language that I can master.

And yet, like the answer to 'eternal life,' there is no answer to 'Love.'

And like how few people found their own versions of their satisfying answer, I too came up with a theory that I'm trying to prove right.

By loving all of humanity, they will all come to love me. If God is Love, then to become a 'God,' one should become 'Love,' don't you think? To love all of humanity, the good side and the dark side. By doing so, I will be above all of humanity therefore perhaps achieve this perfect unity in which will be the keystone to immortality.

So I love all of humanity. The most beautiful aspects of it all the way down to the most horrifying aspects of it. From saints to criminals, from old to young. This emotion called 'love' that holds so much power to change not just one individual but an entire nation, nay, an entire planet even.

But there's a slight problem with this theory of mine. A little glitch that I came across that doesn't fit in my equation.

And that is you Shizu-chan. A being that is not a monster, nor a human. A monster in human disguise, and a human in monster's disguise.

If you could just choose a  _side_ , I wouldn't be in such a predicament.

Tsk, what to do with you really Shizu-chan. You don't even fit into my equation, not to mention, this world.

But there are ways, manipulative selfish ways to make people fall in love with you. I've experimented of course, and there are plenty of people out there who have figured out a generic ways to get humans to love them. Using charisma and charm or just using the right opportune moment to take their chance, humans have used all kinds of dirty methods to win love. Just the sheer number of the population in this world through reproduction is evidence to that.

Don't think that love is some sweet emotion that people sing about happily like some birdbrain lovebirds. It is a vicious emotion, the most selfish emotion filled with jealousy and malice as it can seize control of that person's mind, body and soul. Like a drug, an addiction. Like a disease. It's like a black hole that sucks you in and it's near impossible to climb out.

That's why they say the phrase, 'fall in love.'

Love is war, Shizu-chan. People have killed in the name of "love." It is neither a fragile emotion nor pure-hearted one without a single speck of sin.

No. Love is dirty. Love is ugly. Love is selfish. Love is control. Love is manipulative. Love is envy. Love is power. Love is pain.

Love is blacker than Hate.

And I freely give this love to all of humanity that inhabits this planet with me.

Whoever wrote that bullshit of "Love is patient, love is kind," don't know jack shit about love.

Shizu-chan, have you ever loved before?

Even a monster like Celty says that she's in love with that quack doctor, heh.

So Shizu-chan, a being in between a human and a monster, what kind of love would you give?

I'm sure you'll say you've never loved anyone. You'd say you're so scared of hurting others.

But no.

Deep down, you're scared of yourself.

You're scared of hurting yourself.

By hurting others, you hurt yourself even more.

So in the end, you're scared of hurting yourself. You're scared of inflicting self-pain.

Because self-hatred seeps deep in your bones.

It's kinda a part of you, like how violence is also part of you, no matter how much you deny it.

So it's not that others don't love you, and you think everyone else hates you.

It's because you hate yourself, you don't give others a chance to love you.

It's not that the planet doesn't give you a place to fit in.

It's that you don't give yourself a place to fit in.

It is not that other's don't love you.

It's that you don't love yourself.

So let's recap. Now you're a being who's not a human, who's not a monster and is incapable of holding the strongest emotion in the world yet possessing the strongest physical strength in the world.

What kind of love would you love, Shizu-chan?

Actually, I take that back. It's not that you're incapable of loving yourself or someone else. You probably don't know how. You've never even tried, wallowing in your own self-pity, hiding behind excuses after excuses.

Shall I give you a hint how to 'love' Shizu-chan? After all, I'm an informant with all the answers. Besides, I've studied this for years and have certainly perfected achieving how to love all of humanity.

To make someone fall in love with you, it's not that you show them love and kindness. That's the first mistake all amateurs make.

No. You make them come seek you.

You need to have something that they want. Let them come beg for you. Chase after you. This is why being an informant is perfect for me. People come to me, seek me, and even give me money just to listen to me speak. This is how I show them love and they show me their love. I even get paid to talk about my hobby in observing humans, aren't I amazing?

You see, you need to make them realize that only through your existence, they feel that their empty lives are filled with meaning.

To give them the reason of existence.

Ah, does this sound familiar?

It goes back to the beginning of this letter. "What is the meaning of life."

Kinda ties together doesn't it?

So many people have so many theories on this answer but I believe that it's all one and the same. Love is the meaning of life. Not only is it scientifically proven with the reproductive system but a human feels in essence a fulfilled satisfaction in his life and his soul when one is in love.

Though it still conjectures on my part, it is what I believe.

And thus I complete my equation. Throughout my life it was as if fate was against me. Whenever you came onto the scene, nothing went right. My good karma would instantly go sour and all my carefully calculated plans would topple like a tower of playing cards.

I have done everything in my power to either fit you in my plan or toss you out. I can't seem to do either. I've hated you for that for years. I mean think about it, my perfect plan! Always ruined! Do you know how aggravating that is? Especially since some of them take me years of careful planning and sleepless nights to do.

You always bulldoze your way in, making your own path, not caring about anyone else.

So. I've now taught you the secrets of how to love someone. Rather, how to make someone fall in love with you.

I'm sure when I told you that, a certain thought must have crossed your mind.

The part about chasing.

Yes Shizu-chan, using every single excuse I could think of, I made you chase after me. I made you think about me in every single waking moment of your life ever since we met. Everything you see, hear and experience, I've made you connect it with 'me.'

Ever thought about why?

It shouldn't be hard to guess that now, should it?

What I'm trying to say is, that 'I love you'.

I won't say my love for you is one of those you see in Hollywood movies with happy endings, pure and clean.

No. It's dirty, ugly, manipulative and selfish. I have acted and planned in every way I can to monopolize you as mine, to have you think of me and only me in all of your waking moments.

Do I wish to control you?

Yes.

That is what love is about.

To have the power and control, to win over the other person's love and heart.

Love comes in many forms, and many of them are twisted.

Mine, just happens to be this way.

Though twisted it may be, I can offer you one thing that others probably cannot offer.

I can also complete you, Shizu-chan.

The parts you want to hide, the parts you want to erase, the parts that embarrasses you, the parts that you hate.

I love them.

Like how I can love the most grime and impure natures of a human heart, I can love even the parts that you even despise about yourself.

It is because it is the filthiest parts of our human nature that makes us so human.

It is easy to love the good. But it is the rotten that no one wants to touch.

And so even if you can't come to love yourself, and even if you don't want a place on this small planet called Earth,

I can provide you that place.

And I offer this freely.

There's no scheming this time, no hidden intentions.

And you must be wondering what I would get out of this seemingly selfless act.

But I am not a selfless person. I am quite possibly one of the most narcissistic and selfish persons in the world.

What I get out of it, Shizu-chan, is that I too then will be finding a place in this world. A place where I fit in and where I can belong.

Did you really think you're the only one stuck between the world of monsters and humans?

You and I are similar creatures Shizu-chan, yet the exact opposite. And perhaps because we're the exact opposites, we'll be able to make up that hole that keeps us incomplete.

Like that yin and yang thing. The different sides of the same coin.

And thus by saying this, I have finally decided to get over my denial and accept that I am in love with you. And have been for many years. Quite possibly it was a love at first sight.

Not like the impartial love I have for humanity.

But a personal one, even at a risk of being burned by playing this losing game.

After all, no one can quite control love. And I've simply come to accept that I can't control mine. Love changes people in forms I cannot predict and no monster or human is safe from this epidemic. Trying to make you part of my plan or get rid of you did nothing for me. Fate was always against me whenever I tried to control you so I've given it up completely and I've surrendered to the damn callings of my heart.

I know this is very out of character of me to say this, haha. But love makes all of us do crazy things one won't ever imagine doing. I think I've even thrown away my pride.

And there. Now I've said it properly. Shizu-chan, remember that challenge letter that I sent to you during the day before our graduation at school? I remember you crumpled it and stomped on it on top of our old high school's rooftop. I was pretty hurt you know. I bet you didn't keep the love letter I sent to you during that Bloody Valentine's day.

But I suppose it's not all your fault but partially mine since I have always known that you're thick-headed and there was no way for you to realize that that letter was a love letter. I should have made it more obvious.

I don't think I could get any more obvious than what's written here however.

I'm sure you've noticed this by now but there's two buttons enclosed within this envelope.

One is yours Shizu-chan. The one I took from you because I wanted your love confession which I knew I couldn't have despite my hope against hope. Even if you wouldn't give me your love, I didn't want anyone else to have it, even in the form of a button.

But now I give it back to you.

I'm sure you'll understand the meaning behind that.

Now that I've said my feelings for you clearly, I free you of all obligations.

I'll let you decide who you want to give that button to.

It was never mine to begin with anyway.

The second button is mine.

I've kept it all these years because I didn't get around to throwing it away.

Rather, I was supposed to give it to you on that night if you just went according to my plan but…

… you never do anything according to my plan do you Shizu-chan.

So I'm giving it to you now.

It's the secrets of my heart and it is yours to keep or throw away.

Again, that decision isn't mine to force upon you.

It is yours alone.

And now I must thank you for reading until the end, for in these pages lies the greatest secrets of Orihara Izaya, of everything I believe in, my beliefs in love and immortality and the essence that makes up my soul. The truth of what is Orihara Izaya. The deepest secrets that I have kept and never shared. This will be the only time I'll be honest. I admit, it is painful for me to leave myself so bare open in vulnerability.

So if you have read this far, amuse me just one more time.

Remember that first letter I sent to you with my signature? That was my first love letter to you, you know. And I was planning to confess to you back then. Actually, I believe I did confess to you. You just weren't listening.

As embarrassing as this may sound, I still never got to hear your answer.

So I'd like to hear it if you don't mind. On the same rooftop of our Raijin School.

At 8:00pm today.

Don't be late Shizu-chan~

I'll be waiting.

Very Truly Yours,

Orihara Izaya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Everyone who thought Izaya will go into a coma, got it right *nervous smile* dun kill me pls. Thank you for reading as always!


	42. Come Back To Me

Shizuo read it over and over and smiled.

 

"Flea, you really don't know how to shorten anything. You talk too much." he murmured as he sat next to Izaya, holding his hand as he held up the letter with his other and read through it again.

But he was glad it was long. Because the length helped. The first read through was rough, Shizuo didn't understand what was the point of the letter. But the second read, the third, the fourth, and even at a hundred read through, Shizuo felt different each time he read a particular sentence.

Here was everything that was true about Izaya. Nothing was hidden, nothing was a secret anymore. It was as if Izaya was still awake and with him as he spoke to him.

Not only did the letter contain the true face of Izaya, but it contained what he believed was the true face of Shizuo. The letter was everything about what Izaya loved, both humanity, his theories on love and immortality and of course the final equation, his Shizu-chan.

It was a lot to digest for Shizuo but the more he read it, the more he came to understand Izaya within these two months of silence. And Shizuo filled that silence from Izaya with the words of his letters.

And each time Shizuo came to the end of the letter, the blond would repeat to himself, "Yeah… I'll be waiting too."

The door opened and Shizuo turned to see Shinra walk in. Shizuo folded back the letter and slid it back into his pocket.

"Ah, Shizuo. Visiting again. Good, I needed to talk to you."

Shizuo nodded. Shinra noted that he was holding Izaya's hand again but did not comment on what he saw. He didn't think it was his place especially with the grave atmosphere.

"I take it you spoke with the doctor just now? How did it go?" Shizuo asked as Shinra walked over and sat next to him, pulling up another chair.

"The second surgery went really well. The tibia fractures… I mean, his main leg bones are healing and the alignment of the Intrameduallary rodding… uhhh… I mean, the bones are… gluing together…" Shinra tried to use words that would make sense to Shizuo when he noticed the blond's confused look. "So the doctors aren't considering the amputation as a possibility now. Depending on the healing process, they still think he might need to remove the metal rods replacement but… they're thinking we should wait and see how he heals up for the third surgery that's scheduled."

Shizuo didn't get all of it but he understood that the legs were healing somehow. He nodded in acknowledgement.

"So, he can walk again right?" Shizuo asked tentatively.

Shinra stiffened slightly at the question.

"They… don't know. It depends on how the bones heal. Even if they are healed, he might not be able to walk due to the damages of the nerves and muscle tissues but… with some chiropractic manipulations, he might be able to…" Shina sighed. "It's too early Shizuo. I can't promise anything, nor can the doctors."

They sat there together quietly as the gloomy mood sat in with them.

"Well, I'll be leaving now. Celty would want to know the news too so…" Shinra pat his friend's shoulder as he got up.

"Thanks Shinra."

Shinra just smiled and walked out, closing the door quietly behind him.

Looking back at the sleeping raven, the debt collector smiled sadly, "Izaya, please wake up."

"You need to come back to me, Izaya."

* * *

When Shizuo came home every day after his work, he said out loud, "I'm home," as he took off his shoes. He would lean forward and pat on the 'Welcome Home Shizu-chan' mat, stepping over it instead of actually stepping on it.

There was no one home of course since Shizuo lived alone. However he no longer felt alone.

The house was well furnished with unpacked gifts from Izaya. After he had come home from the hospital, Shizuo unpacked the boxes of presents, one by one. They were all sorts of material goods but each came with a small note attached. Notes with a sentimental value to Shizuo because all of them were hand-written by Izaya.

There was a new microwave in the kitchen now with a note that read, 'Don't just eat microwave food Shizu-chan, remember to eat well.' which Shizuo had carefully taped to the side of his new gift. There was a couch in the living room with a small sticky note taped to the armrest that read, "Don't just watch T.V. all day Shizu-chan, remember to read books sometimes. I can recommend you a few that are more than just picture books heh."

There was a table and four chairs in the kitchen with a note that read, "Be nice to your guests." A picture frame in the living room with a beautiful sun rising as it cast a reddish glow on the building of Ikebukuro, and a note that read, "I know aesthetic beauty isn't your thing, but I thought you'd like this one since you like the city so much."

There were new frying pan, dishes and cooking utensils. Since he couldn't tape them (or else he would never wash his dishes), Shizuo taped them to the kitchen wall, making a small mural in one corner.

There were things like food that had gone rotten over time such as a case of milk or several boxes of sweets and cakes. He regretfully threw them away but he kept the notes that came with them. He especially like the note that read, "Here's your milk. Don't milk me dry next time, Shizu-chan." though Shizuo didn't have any memory of that drunken night, he at least understood that 'milking' meant something perverted within this context.

Izaya's presence was everywhere in Shizuo's house now. It was as if Shizuo was never truly alone. All he had to do was turn one corner and there were Izaya's writings speaking to him.

Seeing how each gift was thoughtfully hand-picked, hand-packaged and each notes were hand-written before they were delivered, Shizuo knew that Izaya had been serious about this. It may have started off as a revenge but little by little, he could see the changes in each of Izaya's notes, changing from just plain sarcasm to sometimes something akin to 'care.' At first Shizuo had thought that Izaya had thrown away money, just calling for delivery services to send to Shizuo in a more mechanical manner.

But seeing how each gifts were hand-packaged so carefully, Shizuo could see that Izaya had cared. Or perhaps started to care as time went on. Shizuo could never be certain, but all the notes along with the love letter made him come to a conclusion that Izaya was serious the entire time.

Heiwajima Shizuo used to be a man who lounged in his couch and watched T.V. mindlessly until it was time to sleep. It was how he dealt with every day stress. However, each night Shizuo had a new hobby that kept him busy.

The blond had picked up cooking thanks to Izaya's cooking books. On the corner, Shizuo had taped the note that read, "I hope you look through these. I've bookmarked my favorite dishes! You better cook for me one day!"

Shizuo smiled as he opened the book to one of the bookmarked pages and started to read.

"Today I'll make this fish you like Izaya. I wonder how it would taste." The blond murmured to himself as he looked at the list of ingredients and what he was to do for dinner. Since he cooked so often now, his kitchen did have almost every spice necessary. The first few times were disastrous but Shizuo was picking things up rather quickly and made less mistakes. He wondered if Izaya would like his cooking if he ever dropped by and ate with him one day.

After his meal, Shizuo would shower and get ready for bed. On the nightstand was a dark brown teddy bear with a fur hoodie. Shizuo would squeeze it just once to hear Izaya's voice recording repeat the words, "Hey, Shizu-chan! Are you sick of my voice yet? Well that's too bad. Even if you hate my voice, don't be mean to Mr. Teddy bear and rip his head off. He didn't do anything wrong. I also hope one day you'll record me a voice message and give this teddy bear back to me. In one piece please. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not particularly fond of decapitated heads unless they're willing to grant me immortality."

While the recording played, Shizuo got in bed and turned off the lights. He had listened to the teddy bear so often, he had memorized the lines. And even the pauses.

Like right now, there was a long silence. One would think that he had finished talking and turned off the recording but no. Shizuo listened.

After 3 minutes or so of silence, Izaya whispered quietly, "Shizu-chan, I…"

Then the recording would cut off.

Shizuo closed his eyes, a small smile formed weakly as he said, "Good night Izaya. I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I'm trying my best to finish the whole entire scene of the next before posting it... it's... really long and monstrous in size so I might have to split it after all. But for now here it is.


	43. Dream 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: For correct formatting and color, please check out http://drrrkink.livejournal.com/3065.html?thread=7751673#t7751673 Chapters 212 - 228. Also I am having a huge problem posting these chapters in one long chapter because ff/net and ao3 are being mean and keeps reverting my format, so I will have to cut them into several smaller chapters. Please forgive me. Sorry for the long wait. I was trying really hard to try to save the formatting but it just won't let me do it.
> 
> Without further ado, here's the the next chapters of FTTBA :3

=+=  
  
  
*Plop*  
  
*Plop*  
  
*Plop…*  
  
The rain started to fall as the clouds gathered. I looked up and scowled at the sky. The clouds were still blue but the pearls continued to fall.   
  
Dammit.   
  
It was that time again!  
  
I skid across, flying literally as my feet slide down the rails, my hoodie fluttering in the wind. Normally I’d enjoy this but right now,

I’m running for my life.

  
  
The headset on my head should have warned me!

Should have!

 

 

I stare up at him confused. A small ‘Pff…’ escapes my mouth as I look at him with a quizzical smile I’m sure.  
  
“Come back to you? I don’t even know you.”   


 

Pzztt! …zzzpt….

  
  
I hiss as the statics warn me. The code is now BLUE.  
  
“We can’t stay here. They’re coming.” Getting up, I use the wall as my support, leaning against it. I feel shooting pain down my leg but I’m much more stubborn.  
  
I walk up to the panel and the screen pops up. The florescent synthetic glow warms my cheeks.

 

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010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010  
010101010101010101010101010101010101010

  
  
“Alright… the hint was a hair dryer… a hair dryer…” I mumble as I touch the keys, solving each problem. I tap on my side to bring up the calculator as I punch in several variation of numbers.   
  
I frown because… the numbers are not matching up… I tap in the air for a small screen and call my main source router, Kida.  
  
“Kida-kun~ Help me out here. The code isn’t correct.”

 

  
Pzzht… phzzt….

  
  
“Kida-kun? Hello~ Shogun-chan~ Stop playing around!” I can feel the frustration building up on me as the Code BLUE’s static grows urgent.   


  
  
… this is bad. Very bad.

  
  
“Fuck! I hate this Blue Square’s brand. Never using this thing again!” I growl.

  
I turn to look at the man standing behind me.

  
  
  
“Hey, help me out here. You need to get out of here too. Soon it’ll be Code RED and that would be bad news for both of us!”  


Of course he stays silent. Sigh.  
Whatever.

  
  
I growl as I hastily try to solve the problem without the hints but… goddamit I don’t have time for this!  


 

  
Zzzpphftzzzttt!! Bzzzt!!!

  
  
The static’s loud and my heart skips a beat at the sound.  
  
Fuck.  
  
FUCK!  
  
I practically mash the buttons, trying to solve the problem but… but…!

 

  
I’m running out of time!

  
  
I look at the window and freeze.  
  
The large fish eye…

….stares right at me.

  
The eye fills up the window to the brim

 

I can’t escape it.

  
It circles around, looking into the room.  
Staring

Staring

  
Searching

Searching.

  
The eye

Looks at my eyes

  
And stares

I stare back

  
It stares at me.  
  
  
My brain f r e e z e s u p a s I c e a s e to f u n c t I o n.   
  
Fuck

Fuck!

 

Fuck!

  
  
I’m so dead. 

One of them found me.

 

He’s going to call for the others.

  
  
They’re  
Going to

Slaughter me.

  
  


Damn Kida!

 

FUCK!

  
  
The fuck am I suppose to do now?!  
  


I force myself to turn my head and look back at the question but…

  
  
Already my fingers are frozen on the keypad that glowed in neon colors.

  
My mind can’t calculate.

  
  
What

  
Can

 

I

 

Do?

  
S  
H  
I  
T

  
Am I gonna die now?

  
  
  
  
Feeling something brush my shoulders, I stiffen. I only relax when I realize that this strange man is reaching behind me to push in the answers.

  
Though he’s still a bit uncomfortably too close….

  
He punches in…

..................MZZ=..................  
..................MNZ...................  
................MOOZZOOM................   
................,=MD8...................  
..................M888 .................  
................~7MMDO=.................  
..............8DMMMMMNND8...............  
.............DMMMMMD8$=ODD..............  
.............8MMMMMND88DND..............  
............8ONMMMMMMNNNM8..............  
..............DMMMMMMMMMD7..............  
..............ZDMMMMMMMMO...............  
...............ONMMMMMM8................   
................$MMMMMN.................  
...............8NMMMMMND................  
............,O8NMMMND8DN8O?.............  
...........8DDDDMMMMMMMDDDD8............  
.............DNMMMMMMMMMMD:.............  
.................DMMMN..................  
.................8MMMD..................  
.................8MMDD..................  
.................MMM8N..................  
................:MMNODO.................  
................DMMNO8D.................  
................MMMNOZNZ................  
...............8MMMNO7DD................  
..............ZNMMMNO,ONO...............  
.............~DMMMMN8.$DDZ..............  
............~DMMMMMN8II8ND$.............  
~~::,,....$8DNMMMMMD8Z7ODND8Z..........   
==++++====DDNMMMMMMND888DNDDD$..........  
.:~=++???O8DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN88O........  
,:~=+?I7DNNMMMMMMMMNDDNMMD8NDDD$........  
..:~=?7ZNNMMMMMMMMMNDDDDDDDDNN8~........  
...,:=?$DNNNMMMMMMNND88Z:7DNMDD~........  
......:~?$NMMMMMMMMMMMMNZ7O8NI:.........  
.........,:~+IDMMMMMMMMMM+~:,...........  
...................,....................  


  
…oh  
The answer was the king’s chess piece…

  
How the hell is this related with the hairdryer? Kida’s nuts!

Immediately the clockworks turn, gears move and groan.  
  
  
…………………………………. _KA-CHINK!_  
………………………………………………... Whoo  
………………………………………………………..... o  
……………………………………………………….. ..o  
……………………………………………………….. .o  
……………………………………………………….. o  
……………………………………………………. o   
………………………………………………… o  
………………………………….a………. o  
…………………………..o…………….o  
………………………..o ………….o…….a  
…………………………o…….o…………....a  
……………………………o……………….…..a  
………………………………….…………… a  
………………………………………….... h  
………………………………………. h  
………………………………. h!!!  
  
The floor drops below me and I fall down a winding slide, trying to reach out and grab onto something to try to stop myself but I can’t because everything is damn slippery! The only thing I can grab onto is Shizu-chan who’s holding onto me tightly from behind and my mind is confused and fear grips me as I fall endlessly   
and endlessly   
and endlessly   
and endlessly   
and endlessly…  
  
  
Mmngph!  
  
Ow… that hurt…  
  
Well not really because Shizu-chan just cushioned my fall…

  
… Shizu-chan?

  
I groan as I roll over to the side. But I stare back at the man who just saved my fall.  
  
Huh… now I remember…. His name is Shizu-chan…

 


	44. Dream 2

I got up and winced. My leg throbbed in pain and my white coat took a lot of the damage from the fall. Already my white fur fringes bzzt’ed with static, causing disturbance with the balance. And one of my pink button is sort of loose. Sigh…  
  
“Let’s see now… Shizu-chan, right? Thanks for… helping me out there, but I still can’t quite remember how we met…”  
  
Which is strange because I’m pretty damn smart and I have a great memory system, which is why I was chosen to be the informant of this city. I shouldn’t glitchthis easily… why can’t I remember how I met him? He obviously knows me but… hey, who doesn’t know me in Ikebukuro?   
  
Staring back at my own glitchy clothes, I let out a sigh.   
  
“Guess I better fix this.”  
  
I tap in the air to bring out the latest playstation model. I pull out the wireless controller as the screen appears before me. I click on the choices I have for today.  


 

Select Your Character ___

  
  
My eyes blink along with the cursor that blinks back at me mockingly. WTF!   
  
My only two choices are a weird goldish colored cape with a prince outfit and…  


  
… a black and white maid outfit.

  
  
  
  
Who the fuck decided on the armors for today?!!!  
  
“Fucking anonymous! Who the hell designed today’s clothes?!” I grumble as I move the cursor over to the outfit named “Hibiya” because that’s hellava better than crossdressing in…  


 

Error. The outfit is locked. You do not have sufficient amount of credits. 

….

  
  
You’re kidding me right?  
  
THE HELL!!!!  
  
I click again and again and….

 

  
Error. The outfit is locked. You do not have suff…

Click

Error. The outfit is locked. You…

Click

Error. The out…

Click

Error. 

Click

Error.

  
  
I throw down the controller in frustration.   
  
Okay. Whoever that anon is, I’m so going to murder him or her!  
  
I touch the sensors for this damn  _maid outfit_. I wait while the pixels shift, the Psychedelic pink and white coat disappearing while the maid outfit materializes on me.   
  
Feeling already tired, I sigh and touch the panel for the rest of my choices. Looks like I’ve unlocked my ride for the day at least.  


 

Select Your Mode of Transportation ____

 

Hibiya’s Horse |  **Black Motorbike**

  
  
…  
  
Okay, well I guess the horse is supposed to go with the prince outfit. I smirk at the badass black motorcycle that I’ve unlocked as well. I move my cursor over to the badass bike and…

 

Error. The motorbike is locked. You do not have suff…

FUUUUUUUUUCK!

  
  
Okay. Whoever designed this, I’m going to TORTURE them first before murdering them!  
  
With a groan I click on the damn horse. I watch as it downloads to my chip.  
  
Today really sucks.

At least the motorcycle would make my maid outfit look somewhat badass but… a horse? Seriously? This is ridiculous.  
  
While waiting for the damn download, I sigh and turn over to my new partner for the game… at least I’m guessing he’s my new partner.  
  
“You better change too. You probably took a lot of damage right?”  
  
Him in a black and white bartender outfit and me in my maid outfit. We look like some fucking servants. We’d be a laughing stock if we walked out in public like this.  
  
Actually, I alone would be anyway.  
  
He looks down at his outfit and then gets up nonchalantly. He doesn’t seem to care about the damage.  


Interesting.

  
  
He takes the controller and opens up his list.   


 

Select Your Character ___

Tsugaru | Psychedelic Shizuo

  
  
What the… hey…!  
  
“Hey, that’s not fair! How come you get cooler threads than me?! Kimono or a white pimpin’ suit? Man… Who designed today’s game anyway?” I cross my arms and tap my foot.  
  
I’m very disappointed.   
  
Feeling a bit sore and peeved, I check my selection of missions.  
  
MISSION LIST:  
 _  
\- Milking a cow.  
_  
  
….. Ooooh no. OH NO YOU DON’T! I  _REFUSE_  to become a milk maid especially wearing this outfit!   
  
The prize is tempting though. Ten bottles of milk. They’re such a useful healing items.   
  
… Okay, seriously. Whoever designed today’s …  _everything_  …   
  
I’m so getting them back later. Thrice fold.  
  
  
Instead of the obvious mission I should be undertaking, I go down the list to find something more… suitable.  
  
  
\- Defeat the mini-boss Tsukumoya Shinichi.  
  
I stare at this mission. I wonder if I have leveled up enough for it…   
  
The prize is unlocking the boss mission.   
  
Hmm…  
  
Before I could decide, a hand leans over and…  


…. presses it for me!!! 

  
THE HELL?!  
  
“What gives! I wasn’t ready yet!” I turn angrily at…. the man now sporting a nice white suit with pink and black pin-strip shirt. His blues shades were now pink.   
  
He remains silent.  
  
I let out a defeated sigh.   
  
“Fine, fine. I’ll stop running away. You didn’t have to select it for me though.” I huff … in my maid outfit. Actually, I’m kinda sad I had to change. My other outfit might have matched better.

  
… why am I thinking dumb shit like this?!

 

 

  
Now instead of bartender and maid servants, it looks like a bar host with a maid from a café.  


 

Great.

  
  
  
After Shizu-chan is done downloading his outfit and I’m done downloading my ride, I teleport out of the safe room.   
  
And back to Ikebukuro.  
  
Ah, nice. Looks like it hailed vending machines. Several of them are the size of a small house, some as small as a pebble. I see smashed cars, destroyed buildings, small craters on the streets~ the usual destruction.   
  
I look up at the sky. Waiting expectedly.  
  
Already the sky was sending Saika to fix them as the soft musical notes of love descend from heaven, healing the wounds of Ikebukuro.

 

 
    
    
          ♫                  愛                              愛                          ♪       
    
    
           愛                       ♪                           ♫                    愛                          ♪      
                                              ♪愛
                                                                     愛愛                 
    
    
             愛     ♪                                  ♫          
    
    
                愛  
                                                   ♪                                           ♪            愛
                                          愛
              ♫                                   
    
    
                       愛        ♪               愛 ♫                              ♪      
                                                                             
    
    
          愛    ♪                             愛                                    ♫    
                 
    
    
                     ♪             

愛
    
    
                ♫                            愛                               ♪      
                                 愛            ♪                     
    
    
     ♪                   愛                ♫         
                      愛     ♪       愛   
    
    
     愛                                       愛                           ♪      
         
    ♫                 愛                                 
    
    
      愛   ♫
    
    
    
        愛              ♪                                   愛     ♪                            
                              ♪             愛      
    
    
         愛     ♫                                                  愛                    愛             

  
  
Feeling a bit appeased, I step out.  
  
First thing first. Replace my damn headset and visit Shiki-san.  
  
Shizu-chan tags along behind me like a silent shadow.   
  
“Shiki-san! Sorry to see the sad state of your gallery.” I give him my condolences.  
  
“No need, Orihara-san. Akabayashi is already taking care of it.” The man in the white suit smirks knowingly. The man always seem to know everything.  
  
I’m grateful he does not mention the state of my newest outfit I’m forced to wear.  
  
However, I do scowl when he places a white flower right above my right ear.  
  
“What this for?” I look to the side at the pure white lily that sprouted next to my face.  
  
“Today’s good luck charm.” He simply says.  
  
“Aren’t lilies supposedly for the dead?” I give him an expected look.  
  
He simply shrugs and spreads his hands. “It’s today’s forecast. Not for me to say.”  
  
I roll my eyes. Great. So my lucky charm is a flower for the dead.

 

 

I swear this must be my bad day.

  
  
I look behind me and scowl. Because my ‘bad day’ started as soon as I met that man who’s shadowing me like a reaper. 

I wonder a bit why Shiki-san did not give a charm to Shizu-chan but I shrug it off and walk on. I don’t have much time to waste. For all I know, the red alert can happen again during Saika’s love song.   
  
I move on to the  ~~Dollar~~  Store.   
  
“Mikado-kun!” I wave my hand. “I came to buy a new headset.”  
  
Mikado looks at me and hides a giggle. Very poorly.   
  
“You bought a Blue Square’s model, Izaya-san?”  
  
“Woe is me! I shall never betray the  ~~Dollars~~ again! It was terrible I tell you.” I hold out the white and pink headset of doom. I’m glad the boy knows better than to talk about my horrid outfit today.  
  
“Well we’re all sold out except for the latest model…”  
  
“Great! But that’s strange… why would the latest model not be sold out but your older ones are? What’s the catch?”  
  
Mikado-kun holds up…

  
…a kitty ear headset.

 

  
.........

  
I fold my arms and tap my foot.  
  
Mikado just sheepishly cowers. “Well… it was your sisters’ idea, Izaya-san. They said it’d sell like hotcakes….”  
  
“Mairu and Kururi’s? Figures…tsk.”   
  
I weigh my decisions. Either I buy this kitty ear headset…  
  


… or walk around Ikebukuro without a headgear.

  
  
Now that’s a dumb move. Even for an almighty Orihara Izaya.  
  
I sigh as I give him my credits. I don’t really have a choice do I?  
  
“ Shizu-chan should buy one too. You have a matching white and pink headset after all… is that even ~~Dollar~~ ’s model? I’m suspicious that it might be the Blue Square’s.” I smirk and look behind me at Shizu-chan.   
  
If I’m wearing a dumb kitty ear, so will he. Heh.  
  
He stands there silently and doesn’t say a thing.

  
Tsk figures.

  
“Sorry Mikado-kun. Looks like my partner today is a mute.” I shrug my shoulders and carry on the small talk.  
  
I stop when he looks at me funny.  
  
“Who are you talking to, Izaya-san?”  
  
“Ah, did I not introduce you? This is Shizu-chan. I kind of forgot where I met him but he’s my partner for today.” I introduce the shadowy figure behind me with an outstretched hand toward the blond’s direction.  
  
I watch as Mikado turns his head slightly to the side and look.  
  
“Izaya-san… there’s… no one there.” He looks back at me nervously.  
  


…..

  
“How can you miss him? He’s a tall blond man in pink shirt!” I look at him incredulously because seriously. How can you _miss him_? He’s right there!  
  
But my fear grows as he looks back at me and at the blond and then back at me with even more nervous look.  
  
“Izaya-san… erm… I… really don’t see anyone there. Are you okay today?”   
  
  


I lower my outstretched arm and then look back at Shizu-chan. He’s quietly standing there with a cigarette in his mouth blowing pink smoke.

  
…. Am I hallucinating?

  
“I’m fine Mikado. Thank you for this.” I say quietly as I wear the kitty ear headset on top of my maid headband. 

  
What the hell’s going on?!

  
Mikado can’t see him?

  
 _Why?!_

  
I try to calm myself as I walk out the store. 

  
He’s still following me.

  
I’m not a schezo right?

  
Or is this part of the mission?

  
STAGE CHANGE ALERT: RUSSIA SUSHI  
  
Ah fuck! I was lost in thought and didn’t realize the stage change!  
  
I look around me and prepare myself as the platforms rise, the scenery shifting to a Game Stage. I dig in my pocket and tighten my hold on the ipod that holds all my items, feeling more secured and grounded.   
  
I jump slightly when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

  
“It’ll be fine. I’m with you.”

  
I look at the ghostly hand and then look up at Shizu-chan standing next to me.  
  
Can I trust him? I barely know him. In fact, I don’t even know if he’s real!  
  
Already the rotating trays of sushi appears as the game platform sets up in front.   
  
A game with Tsukumoya Shinichi. This would be a hard one.  
  
A text from Kida flashes to my right, blinking:

  
Don’t lose the game, Izaya-san.

  
Like hell I would!  
  
The human-size chess pieces fall from the sky onto the checkered floor. I jump out of the way as it crashes down.  
  
A2, Knight. C5 Queen. F1 Rook. D4 Pawn.  
  
  
Then a spread of cards taller than Shizu-chan flies towards my direction  
  
10 of Heart. King of Spades. 2 of Diamond. 7 of Clover.  
  


  
A   
set   
of   
Pachinko   
chips   
as   
large   
as   
a   
swivel   
chair   
stack   
up   
to   
my   
side.

  
I smirk, licking my lips and glare challengingly.

**  
Game Start!**


	45. Dream 3

=+=  
  
“Shizuo! He’ll be alright!”   
  
But Shizuo didn’t want to listen to his doctor friend, despite the fact that Shinra’s the doctor and he himself knew nothing about medicine save for perhaps band-aids and makeshift super glue when he needed stitches. He still held onto Izaya’s hand when it was time for his third and last surgery, not willing to let him go.   
  
The twins were at school which allowed Shizuo to be in the hospital without them knowing, but still, Shizuo did not feel comfortable letting go of that hand while the doctors and nurses waited so they could take Izaya to the operation room.  
  
“You let him go before didn’t you, Shizuo?” Shinra tried again carefully, not wanting to have Shizuo blow up on him in anger. He seriously did not understand the sudden and monumental change in his friend who was very protective of Izaya, the man he had claimed to hate with all his soul not too far in the past.  
  
“Izaya…” Shizuo sighed, his guts twisting in excruciating pain. Somehow, he just had a bad idea about letting go of that immobile hand.   
  
“Alright.” Shizuo said softly as his grip loosened slightly.   
  
“Izaya… this is your last and final surgery. Don’t lose this fight.”  
  
And finally, Shizuo let him go.  
  
  
=+=

 

  
Red Alert! Red Alert!

  
  
Well fuck! No shit!!  
  
The ceiling crashed and the sky opened. My chess pieces tumble 

  
and fall!

  
  
But right now, that’s the least of my worries!

  
  
I have the worst luck in the world! To have the Code Red during my battles!

  
  
I’m on my horse, running through the chess boards, my cards scattered, and  


 

I duck

 

  
As another boulder barely

  
miss connecting with my head!  
  
Ugh this is a terrible day!

 

  
**Tsukumoya Shinichi:** 13,420 Points

**Orihara Izaya:** 138 Points

  
  
Oh for Chrissake, like I give a fuck right now!  


The walls collapse and my horse whines as he jumps over the obstacles

  
  
Fuck and now my barrier is low in energy!

 

  
Danger! Danger! Danger!

  
  
Okay, seriously. I got it. You don’t have to repeat yoursel…

 

A hush falls as Tsukumoya Shinichi stops attacking me.

I pause. And look up. 

My eyes widen.

  
  
There’s the Overseers.

 

  
Fishes the size of a house.

 

  
Everywhere.

 

  
Thousands of them.

  
  
Coming straight at me.

 

  
With the dead-looking eyes that’s as large as a size of a human child.

 

  
Because the roof collapsed.

  
  
And there’s nowhere to hide.

 

  
“Izaya…”

  
  
I look to my right to see Delic standing next to me. He’s looking up at the sky, puffing away the pink smoke with his nonchalant attitude.  
  
“Alright.” He flicks the cigarette and stomps on it. Then he looks back at me.  
  
“Izaya… this is your last and final surgery. Don’t lose this fight.”  
  
I look back at him as if he’s an idiot.  
  
Surgery? What? 

 

  
Also, why the hell would I lose any fight?

  
  
Despite my anger at this ludicrous man, I look back up and I can not dissuade the dread that spreads inside my heart.

 

  
Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Unknown Player in the GAME. Can not detect the Location. Invisible Intruder Alert.

  
  
I ponder for a second at my situation. Thousands of Overseers searching for me, 

  
and no one can see Delic.

  
“Hey, I have an idea…” I turn to the man in white suit and pink shirt… 

  
...to see that he’s not there anymore.

  
The fuck.  
  
Where did he go?  
  
Can ANYTHING go right for me?

 

  
...

  
I feel his warmth leaving me.

  
And I’m deathly scared as I face the army of Overseers charging straight towards me.

 

  
**Tsukumoya Shinichi:** 13,595 Points  
 **Orihara Izaya:** 138 points

 =+=

  
  
“It’ll be alright Shizuo… it should be an easy surgery.”  
  
Shizuo nodded dumbly as he sat down. The neon lights that told him that the operation was ‘on’ taunted him. No, rather. It haunted him. He tried not to grip too hard, least he crush the can that held his now-cold-coffee from the vending machine next to him.   
  
Vending machines. They always seemed to be his friend when he was in need of solitude, a friend who stood silently next to him as Shizuo needed to someone or something to lean on.   
  
And three hours was a long wait.  
  
  
=+=  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .AAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
…Fuck! ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...No more!!  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
… … … … … … … ..Shit!  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .FUCK!  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .Shitshitshit!  
…AAAAAAAAAH!  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … ..Just END ME ALREADY!!!  
… … … … .F-FUCK!!!!!!!!!  
  
…… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . . … … .AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
… … … … …It  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … ….It hurts!  
… … … … … … … ..It hurts!  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .It hurts! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .It hurts!  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … It hurts!  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … It hurts!  
… … … … … … …FUCK!  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .It-it hurts!  
… … … . .Someone  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …… … … … Someone  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … .Someone  
  
… … … … … … …… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .Someone  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .Anyone  
  
  
… … … . .It’s eating me  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .My legs  
  
… .I…  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … I….  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .It-it hurts…  
  
… … … … It-hurts so much….  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .I…  
  
… … … … … … … . .I…  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .I…  
  
… … … I can’t….  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … ..hold on.  
  
… … … … … … … … … ..They’re tearing me apart.  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . …eating me alive.  
  
… … … … … … … . .Ripping me.  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .They bind me down to the floor.  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .Grabbing at my legs.  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …… … …… … … … … .The pain…  
  
…… … … … . .so excruciating…  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . . … … … … … … … … … … I don’t even think about how mortifying it is…  
  
… … … … … … … … … … . .as my maid skirts are flipped up and…  
  
  
… … … … …it hurts.  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .It hurts.

… … … … … … … … … … . .I can’t breathe.  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .My legs…  
  
… … … … … … the pain…  
  
… … ….Shizu-chan…  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . … … …. . . . . . . . . … … … … … .Shizu-chan…  
  
… … … … … …………….Shizu-chan…  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . . . . . . . . . . . . … …Shizu-chan….  
…… … … … … … … … … … … … … … …… … . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … Shizu-chan….

Shizu-chan... Why... why did you leave me?


	46. Dream 4

=+=  
  
  
“... it’s been more than three hours.” Shizuo growled lowly.  
  
“Well... I’m sure there’s a reason for it...” Shinra chuckled lightly. It’s been five hours and the operation light was still on mockingly.   
  
Shizuo didn’t like it. Shinra’s excuses fell deaf ears as the doctor tried to calm the angry beast with several complications or other possibilities that could have happened during the surgery.   
  
Either way, there was nothing for them to do but to wait.  
  
  
=+=

  
 **Code Red! Code Red!**  
  
ShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUpShutUp!!!  
  
I claw at the floor, my nails bleeding as I try my best to pull away from those damn hungry beasts! Fucking piranhas eating my legs and.I.can’t.hold.back.anymore.and.I.close.my.eyes.as.my.consciousness.fades…

  
There’s a bright light and warmth spreads over my body.

 

 

 

 

  
A comfortable warmth that I could relax into…

 

And the pain fades.

  
  
I look up at Delic who holds me in his arms.   
  
“Shizu… chan?”  
  
Huh…. he came back after all.

  
thought he left me for good…

  
Somehow, it makes me happier to know he came back for me after all.  
  
I look around, half surprised, still half in a dazed state from the pain as the Overseers turn back.  
  
Can they not see us anymore?  
  
I can feel his hands holds me tighter and I feel so much warmer, 

  
and so much safer…

  
Another warm glow envelopes me as my mode changes, 

 

 

 

 

the bloody and tattered maid outfit fades…

 

  
and I’m wearing that other outfit which was locked.

 

 

 

 

  
Hibiya.

 

  
I cling to him because I’m afraid those Overseers will come back to me if I let go.

  
“Izaya…”

  
I look up at him.

  
He looks back at me.

 

 

 

 

  
“Izaya, you need to stop dreaming and come back to me.”

  
I frown.  
  
Dreaming?  
  
What the hell is he talking about?

 

 

 

  
“You know, I read the letter you gave me every day…”

  
  
What letter?

  
  
“It gives me the strength to face a new day without you. But you need to wake up… you can’t run away from reality forever. Just like how I’m facing it every day, you too should stop running away.”

  
I frown as I look at those serious eyes focused on me.  
  
……………  
“I won’t chase you away anymore so please. Wake up. Remember that you have those waiting for you. I’m… waiting for you.”  
  
  
I look up at him confused.  
  
“Wait, Shizu-chan. So you’re saying… haha… that I’m in a dream?” I chuckle though my throat feels dry.  
  
“It’s  _you_  who’re the one out of this world, not me! I mean, everything in this world is normal! You’re the one that  _they_  can’t see, Shizu-chan!”  
  
I look around. Once again Saika had started her love song.  
  
“See! Saika is singing again, restoring Ikebukuro! And look, Shiki-san is out there taking care of his flowers. And there’s Akabayashi-san strolling along with Akane-chan to the candy store. And why there’s even Namie flirting with Kaztano to buy a new stress ball, Simon is selling pigtail sushi, Kida painting the walls with the nail polish colors Chikage likes, Mikado advertizing his latest  ~~Dollar~~ fashion… The raining vending machines finally stopped and all of my over 9,000 cell phones are still hanging in the lines perfectly as they should be!”  
  
I spread my arms wide in an exaggerated manner.  
  
“What is it about this world that’s out of place? Only  _you_  don’t belong here!”  
  
I watch intently as Shizu-chan says nothing. After awhile, what he does say baffles me even more. 

 

 

 

  
“You know… I kind of miss seeing you wearing your usual fur trim coat. This hospital gown don’t suit you.”

  
“Are you even LISTENING TO ME?!”  
  
I flail my arms about.  
  
“ _What_  fur trim coat! Other then the fact that yes it’s my trade mark that I….”  
  
I pause.  
  
Wait.  
  
He’s right.  
  
My fur trim coat!  
  
Where is it?!  
  
And my other trademark, the flick blade.  
  
Where’s my flick blade?!  
  
I pat down my clothes and of course I don’t have it on me. My weapon of choice right now is…

  
  
… wait. Something isn’t right.

 

 

 

 

I’m supposed to ….

  
  
Didn't I slash at Shizu-chan as soon as I saw him?

 

 

 

  
Ugh… headache…

  
But no, I mustn’t stop thinking….

  
  
It hurts but…

 

 

 

  
He’s right… I remember…

  
  
Flick blade, I remember slashing his chest.

  
We were in high school together…

 

 

 

  
Raijin…

 

  
It’s Raira now…

  
I… gave him a love letter.

  
… he crushed it.

 

 

 

  
… and he crushed my heart with it.

  
I remember…

 

 

 

  
Wait… where am I?

  
Why am I here?

  
This isn’t… Ikebukuro.

  
No. I am in a dream.

 

 

 

  
Ah. So this is a dream!

  
Haha… you know how when you dream and you know it’s a dream? And you try to bend your dream to do what you want?

  
  
Shit… 

  
I look around, nervously. 

 

 

 

  
This is my dream right?

I can do what I want right?

 

  
Already Shizu-chan has left me.

 

 

 

  
I’m alone.

  
Swallowing hard, I turn on the system and click on the neon panels.

 

 

 

  
**Search |** Fur Trim Coat

**Search Error:** 404 Does Not Exist.

  
Wait, how come I can’t imagine my fur trim coat on me?

 

 

 

  
This is my dream, isn’t it?

  
  
=+=  
  
“The twins will be back soon…” Shinra lightly reminded his friend.   
  
Shizuo nodded as he quietly exited the room, his heart sinking.   
  
“So why did the surgery take so long?” Already his mouth itched for a cigarette but he waited until he was outside the hospital.  
  
Shinra sighed. “Well, there were some complications… I guess I could go into details but…”  
  
“Does that mean he can’t walk anymore?”  
  
Shinra sighed a tired sigh as one who had explained this many times. “Shizuo, like I’ve said, we can not know for sure. The surgery itself was a success. But Izaya is still in a comatose state and there are still no signs of him waking up any time soon. Until he wakes up, the doctors can only estimate or theorize their diagnosis but we can’t confirm anything.”   
  
“I know what you want to hear, and I wish I could say it to you but until he wakes up, my answer and everyone else’s answer is the same.”  
  
Shizuo wasn’t happy with what he heard and he himself knew that he was just asking to feel a relief from the dread he felt in his heart but he was glad Shinra never minced his words. He was always a realist and logical despite the cracky head he had on his neck.  
  
As they walked out of the hospital, Celty was waiting for them, leaning against her black motorbike, too scared to walk inside. Once she saw them, she ran up to them, rapidly typing on her PDA and thrusting it in front of the be-spectacled man.   
  
[How did it go? I told you to text me as soon as you heard the news!]  
  
“Ah Celty!!!” Shinra jumped in front of her and landed on the ground cushioned only by air as the headless woman sidestepped over him.  
  
Shizuo slightly smiled at the comical duo as Celty looked livid as her shoulders twitched and her hands curled to fists.  
  
[I want to know what happened! Not a hug!] she typed and bonked Shinra’s head with her PDA.  
  
“Shinra says Izaya’s okay, Celty.” Shizuo chimed in. “The surgery was a success but we don’t know if he’ll still wake up.”  
  
Celty looked relieved in hearing that as her shoulders drooped and relaxed.  
  
 _’Interesting how people come together and connect over someone…’_ Shizuo mused. Back then Celty was his buddy as he bashed Izaya and ranted to her what a bastard he was. Back then Celty agreed and would also complain about certain jobs Izaya would give her. It wasn’t in detail enough but it was enough for Shizuo to know often Celty was tricked into doing dangerous jobs.  
  
But now they were all united as they worried over the once-annoying informant as he lay in his bed.  
  
All that was left was for the said-man to wake up.

 

=+=  
  
  
No Exit… … … … … … …. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . … … … … … … … … . No Exit  
  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . . No Exit  
  
… … … . . No Exit  
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . . . . . . . .… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . No Exit  
  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . Dead End  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dead End  
  
. . . . . . Wrong way  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dead End  
  
  
I growl as I punch the invisible wall around me. 

  
I don’t get it.

  
  
How the fuck do you wake up from your dream?

  
  
I can’t seem to wake up from this nightmare!

  
  
  
I look up to see the upside down Ikebukuro above me.  
  
And another me in a black fur trimmed coat waves at me tauntingly. 

  
I curse at him.

  
How do I get there?

  
Code Red! Code Red!

  
  
I grasp my cape closer to me as I run.

  
The Overseers are after me.

  
  
I needed to wake up from this hellish nightmare!  
  
How do I get out of here?

  
  
Shizu-chan!

  
Why couldn’t you at least tell me how to wake up?!  
  
Dammit Shizuo! Why did you leave me now?!

  
Ah fuck! There are more Overseers in  _front_  of me! 

  
I quickly duck and turn right.  
  
I know this city backward and forward yet. . .  
  
I keep coming back to the same place!  
  
The roads keeps bending,

  
the maze shifts and I’m sometimes running   
uʍop əpısdn

 

  
O  
r  
  
R  
u  
n  
n  
i  
n  
g  
  
S  
i  
d  
e  
-  
w  
a  
y  
s  
.

  
  
  
I run faster and faster and. . .

  
. . . ow

  
After crashing to the floor, I look up to see what I just bumped into…

  
. . . and see the huge dead-fish eye staring right at me.

 

  
. . .the dead fish eye as large as a small child, white and black. 

  
creepily stalking me.  
  
  
I gulp. 

  
I’m doomed.

  
I look around and I see them gathering. 

  
Boxing me in.

  
  
My fingers twitch and my heart beat pulses faster, the blood draining from my head as dread fills my heart. 

  
Code Red! Code Red!

  
My eyes widen as a vending machine crashes against the building near by, demolishing its side.  
  
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!  
  
They’re coming.  
  
It’s going to rain!  
  
And here I am trapped!

I look up angry at the upside down sky as the silly shadow that is the mirror-image of me waves at me, snickering.  
  
And more vending machines from the upside down Ikebukuro falls to our world.  
  
No, this isn’t my world.

This is just a dream.

 

  
Just nothing more than a nightmare.

  
Even if I die here I won’t die in. . .

  
. . .

  
Wait.

  
If I die here… would I wake up?

  
I mean, don’t people wake up from their dreams if they die?  
  
I lick my lips as I decide.  
  
I have always been smart enough to not let any of them catch me.  
  
Not let any of them hit me.  
  
Not one of those vending machines land on me.  
  
But what if . . . that’s why I can’t . . . wake up . . .

  
. . . but if I died and I never wake up anyway. . .

  
Would I die for good?

  
. . . or start a new dream?

  
Do I want to continue living in a dream?

  
  
. . . or risk dying?

  
  
Fuck. I don’t want to die.  
  
I want immortality, not death!  
  
Dammit, it’s  _engraved_  in me to survive! Not to die!  
  
Shitshitshit.  
  
What do I do. . .   
  
I look up as more vending machines fall from the upside down Ikebukuro above.   
  
My breath shortens.  
  
My hands grow sweaty.  
  
H. . . here goes nothing. . .  
  
One of the vending machine is heading right at me.  
  
The dead fish eyes are observing, watching, waiting for my death.  
  
5 seconds. . .  
  
Shizu-chan. . .   
  
4 seconds. . .  
  
You better be right.  
  
3 seconds . . .  
  
You better be there for me when I wake up.  
  
2 seconds . . .  
  
Or else… else I. . .  
  
1 second  
  
. . . I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!  
  
.  
  
*CRASH*  
  
=+=  
  
Izaya’s body jolted as he coughed loudly into his oxygen mask. The two sisters jumped up from his side, crying “Iza-nii! Izaya nii-!!!”  
  
Izaya was wrecked in pain as he gasped harshly for breath. Mairu quickly held him down before he hurt himself as Kururi ran out to get a doctor or a nurse immediately.  
  
“Iza-nii! Iza-nii! Welcome back! Oh my god, welcome back!” the girl with long pig tails cried as she held her brother in her small bosoms. The man named Izaya weakly breathed, excruciating pain and headache rendering him useless as he blinked at the unfamiliar lights of the hospital room.   
  
 _’Too bright. . .’_ he thought as he closed his eyes again. As he drifted back to sleep to seek brief relief from the pain, he vaguely wondered who the two girls were that he had just seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Finally ending the Dream Sequences.
> 
> Thank you for being so patient with me guys...


	47. Chapter 47

Shizuo had just come home when his phone rang. He picked it absently thinking why Shinra would call him since he had just seen him this morning.

"Hey what's up?"

"Shizuo! Oh good, glad you picked up! I have a good news! And well, bad news too but..."

Shizuo's ears immediately perked. Good news meant only one thing.

"Did Izaya...!"

"Wait, first. I want you to hear me out. I don't want you to rush into things."

"Fuck that! Did Izaya wake up?"

"Yes, but..."

"I'm on my way." Shizuo was about to turn off his cell.

"Wait, wait! You can't come yet! Shizuooo!"

"Why?" Shizuo frowned.

"Oh good, you're still on. Look, the doctors need to examine him first. They're running tests on him and..."

"Well, you're there! I obviously can be too!"

"And secondly, the twins are here..."

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "Well too bad. This time I'm not going to give in to them. I need to see Izaya and..."

"Wait, wait! I need to tell you the bad news!"

"...Izaya... can't walk?" Shizuo's heart froze at the thought.

"Well, it's too early to tell but that's not it."

There was a brief silence as the doctor took a staggering breath. Shizuo could almost see his friend adjust his glasses on the bridge of his nose as it was his habit.

"...Izaya. . . was in comatose state for too long so. . . he will have to go through heavy physical therapy to recover his limb coordination. And secondly, this happens to many patients who was in a comatose state for a while and. . . well he's suffering from amnesia."

"..."

"It's totally normal Shizuo! He can perform his usual daily functions so his mind has not regressed to that of a child. It's just that. . . his memory became dormant. But, many can recover from it! It might take awhile but..."

"So Izaya lost his memory." That dreadful feeling came back as fear clutched Shizuo's heart and sunk its talons deep within him.

"Yeah... he doesn't even remember his sisters or his parents... and of course, he doesn't remember me or his middle school years. And... he doesn't remember himself. So of course... he doesn't remember. ..you either."

Shizuo felt the vertigo shake him as those words were said to him like a proclamation of his worst fears becoming reality.

* * *

When Shizuo was allowed to visit Izaya, four days had already gone by. Shinra had kept telling him that Izaya was too weak for visitations and that the doctors were running too many tests when he was awake. Izaya needed as much rest and sleep whenever he was not being put through tests after tests on his body.

Until Shinra accidentally slipped that Shiki had visited Izaya.

At that point, it did not matter that Shinra quickly tried to explain that Shiki had visited him to explain what he needed to say when Izaya had to face the questions from reporters and police regarding the gun affair incident. Shizuo marched straight to the hospital and demanded that he meet Izaya.

The same two nurses quickly recognized the blond man with the blue shades in bartender outfit this time, the man who had crushed their window and the walls during their nightshift when Shizuo had come with Celty few months back. They quickly ushered him to Room 404.

Once Shizuo came to the 4th hallway, it was chaos. There were reporters lined up to try to get a glimpse of Izaya for a quick photo. There were police officers arguing with the nurses for admittance. The one tall and stiff looking nurse was saying loudly that they'd already had their chance interrogating the patient for an hour and Orihara-san needed his rest.

Shizuo walked passed the crowd with a calm determination. One reporter recognized him and quickly raised his camera to snap a shot, but when the blond debt collector turned to glare, he quickly cowered and rethought his decision.

He tried to walk passed the nurse when the stuffy woman grabbed his arm and said, "Hold it. Only family members and close friends are allowed."

"I am his close friend." Shizuo said calmly and quietly, though the young man's voice was firm.

The nurse didn't budge as she stood in the frontline like a brave warrior's last stand on a battle field. "And your name?"

"Heiwajima Shizuo."

"Your name is not listed as a close family member or friend young man." She said firmly after she looked down at her pad she held for confirmation.

"Izaya obviously lost his memory and can't remember me. But I am his friend." Shizuo's eyes slanted just a bit as he looked intensely at the woman.

After several seconds of intense exchange between the two, the older woman nodded.

"Alright, you may go."

"Thank you." He simply said as he walked on.

The police officers and the reporters gasped out loud and protested loudly but the matron nurse held down her fort firmly with her mop in hand, refusing to budge.

Once in front of the door, Shizuo knocked three times to give Izaya a fair notice before he opened and walked in.

"Ah, isn't it a bit too early for you guys to…." The crimson eyed young man's voice trailed off as he turned to face his visitor.

"You're not my sisters."

Shizuo nodded in confirmation as he stood next to him. Shizuo felt his throat tighten and his heart race even as he was relieved to see that familiar playful glint of scarlet irises curiously look up at him. He had seen Izaya limp and unconsciously sleep on this bed for too long and turmoil of emotions wrecked his body at seeing him even slightly animated.

Shizuo adjusted his shades, hoping the nose piece wouldn't pinch the skin between his eyes too much least he shed a tear.

"Oh come now. Don't look at me like that." Izaya scoffed, waving his hand. "I'm kind of tired of people crying over me. It's really old news."

"You haven't changed, despite the lack of memory." Shizuo smirked.

"How did you manage to bypass everyone? I believe only my sisters and Shinra were allowed to visit me. Did you bribe someone like Shiki-san? Now that man's quite an interesting one." Izaya's eyes grew unfocused at the thought.

Shizuo almost scowled at seeing Izaya think of Shiki with that look. It was as if Shiki of Awakusu-kai would always continue to haunt him in his pursuit of a relationship with Izaya.

"And?"

Shizuo blinked as Izaya glared back up at the blond.

"And? Why are you here? I take it that from the descriptions my sisters gave me, you are Heiwajima Shizuo, my forsaken enemy?"

Shizuo's eyes twitched slightly at the word 'enemy.'

"We're… not enemies." Shizuo said, at first sounding uncertain, but ending with confidence.

"Oh? You  _are_  Heiwajima Shizuo, right?"

Shizuo nodded.

" _The_  Heiwajima Shizuo I take it? The one who can uproot sign poles and vending machines, throw them at my face, chase me down until I can't run anymore and beat the shit out of me until I'm hospitalized, Heiwajima Shizuo?"

Shizuo winced.

"Th-that's… I'm not like that anymore."

"Hmm~" Izaya leaned back on his pillows. Shizuo noted several plushies next to Izaya, which he guessed were gifts from Kururi.

"Well, you haven't dropped a vending machine or thrown me out the window yet I suppose. So what brings you here, Heiwajima-san?"

Shizuo didn't like that tone nor being called so formally, but it couldn't be helped, he decided. Izaya didn't remember him… or so everyone had said.

"Izaya… I came to see… how you're doing." Shizuo looked slightly embarrassed at saying the typical lines.

"Well I'm doing fine. So you can leave now." Izaya shooed him.

Shizuo tried again.

"Well, how are you feeling? Are your legs alright? Can you walk again? And.."

Izaya sighed, looking drained and bored at the typical pattern.

"Look sir. I don't remember you, nor do I care. I'm kind of tired of answering all these questions as soon as I'm awake so if you don't mind, I'd like to get some sleep before those two girls come and harasses me for another hour or two."

"Ah… then I'll come another time." Shizuo nodded, shuffling his feet awkwardly. He was glad to see that Izaya was awake. More than glad. But strangely a subtle pain took hold of his heart at hearing cold words from Izaya. It wasn't as if Shizuo had expected Izaya to jump into his embrace and say embarrassing confessions but this wasn't what Shizuo wanted either.

"Just one thing." Shizuo spoke up, his voice hesitant. "Do you… really not remember anything?"

"Nothing. I didn't even know my name when I woke up." Izaya shrugged. Shizuo was confused at his lack of care on the subject. But he decided he had overstayed. Something kept tugging at his heart but he decided to say goodbye and left for the day.

The next day, Shizuo visited Izaya again during lunch time when the two sisters were in school. Izaya was reading a rather thick book when Shizuo walked in. Glancing up, Izaya sighed when he noticed his blond visitor. He raised his hand and took off his reading glasses. For that one second, Shizuo thought Izaya wearing a reading glasses was kind of sexy. Then he realized it was one of the first time he had ever thought Izaya could be sexy and felt his cheeks slightly heat up at the thought.

"You again." Then a second later, Izaya added, "…sir."

Shizuo didn't like being called so distantly. Lack of memory or not, he could feel Izaya pushing him away. Despite it, Shizuo walked forward.

"What are you reading?" Shizuo asked instead as he placed a small bundle on the floor and sat next to him. Izaya merely shrugged.

"Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy. Shinra said it was one of the readings I used to read so he told me to give it a try in case it triggers my memory."

Shizuo looked at the thick book.

"That's not in Japanese."

"Correct. How acute of you." Izaya rolled his eyes at the obvious. Shizuo really didn't like that either but calmed his anger.

"What I mean to say is, you can remember other languages but you can't even remember your friends and family nor your name?"

"Correct. That's how these things work Heiwajima-san. When a person suffers from a brain trauma and in a case where amnesia occurs on a person, the procedural memory could be intact but declarative memory can be disturbed instead so whereas to…"

"Okay, I get it. Don't use terms like Shinra, it doesn't make any sense to me." Shizuo held up his hand in defeat. A corner of Izaya's lips turned upward at seeing the blond easily give up.

Shizuo decided to change the subject as he placed the bundle in his lap and started to unwrap them. "I brought you lunch by the way."

"Lunch?" Izaya frowned as he looked over. His frown grew to a scowl as Shizuo took out a cute yellow bunny printed lunch box.

"I figured you must hate the hospital food." Shizuo said shyly.

"Yes, but the girls always sneak in with food for me so there's really no need." Izaya felt revolted at the idea of this strange man cooking for him. 'Wasn't he supposed to be my enemy? Are these poisoned? Is this a new way to kill me?' he thought to himself.

"Ah, I see… but you said you really wanted me to cook you this dish so I tried it. I've been trying to perfect it for two months now so…" Shizuo smiled shyly again, half embarrassed to admit it and half proud of his handiwork.

" _I?_  Asked  _you_  to cook for me?" Izaya's voice hit two octaves higher as he squeaked.

Shizuo looked over, slightly surprised. "Yeah. I figured maybe if you eat your favorite food, you might start remembering more? Besides it's your favorite food so… even if you can't remember, you'll probably like it more than the hospital food, right?"

"Wait, wait, wait. Let's go back a second here. First of all, I'm sorry but everyone told me  _you_  are my sworn enemy. I can't trust anything you are gonna try to feed me so…"

Shizuo turned the bento box. On the side there was a taped note that read [Shizu-chan~! Remember to feed me with this bento box one day! Until then, you better sharpen up your cooking so you don't poison me~ I'll be waiting! – From Orihara Izaya]

Izaya frowned at the note taped onto the box accusingly.

"I don't remember writing this. Besides, you could have forged my handwriting and…" Izaya stammered as he tried to think of an excuse.

"I'm not that smart Izaya." Shizuo frowned.

"I don't know that! For all I know, you could have been planning to kill me for the past two months I've been in a coma!"

"If I've been planning to kill you, I would have killed you when you  _were_  in a coma. Now stop thinking I hate you, because I don't. Now try it, I think you'll like it." Shizuo placed the bento in Izaya's lap.

Izaya stared at the bento box as if it was a snake and blanched at the idea of eating cooking from another man.

"Okay Heiwajima-san. Look, I don't want to offend you since clearly everyone has warned me that you have some incredible supernatural powers and physical abilities that I can't win against in my current situation, but… don't you think it's weird to cook for another guy? And I really don't see why I would ever ask you to cook for me.  _Ever_." Izaya emphasized the last word clearly as possible with an accented mark.

Shizuo calmly observed Izaya for a moment. Shizuo understood that Izaya didn't remember him and perhaps he was moving too fast but…

"Because we're lovers." Shizuo decided to say.

Izaya spluttered. "E-excuse me?"

"Because we're lovers." Shizuo sighed. "You gave me this bento box and cook books. You told me you wanted me to cook for you."

Izaya stared at Shizuo, wondering if this man was either nuts or trying to trick him. Seeing his gaze, Izaya decided that this man was being honest.

"I'm sorry to say, I'm not attracted to you, Heiwajima-san." Izaya said in a clear and firm tone.

"And I'm really not interested in eating cooking from a man. Especially you." Izaya refused, pushing the bento away from him with a single fingertip with a clear look of disdain on his face.

"Look, at least try it. It's your favorite food. Maybe you'll remember something." Shizuo insisted, pushing it forward. His feelings were hurt but he kept telling himself that what's important wasn't trying to make Izaya accept him or getting hurt by Izaya's rejection but trying to help Izaya recover and remember.

"I said I'm not interested." Izaya pushed it back.

"Give it a bite." Shizuo pushed it forward again.

Just the thought of eating another man's cooking made Izaya's stomach churn.

"I've already eaten and I'm not hungry." Izaya firmly pushed it away from him.

"Izaya…!" Shizuo growled lowly.

Izaya looked up at him defiantly, fed up with this childish tug of war. He picked up the bento and chucked it into the trash can next to him. Then he looked back at Shizuo smugly.

"Are you angry, Heiwajima-san? Are you going to crush me in my bed?" Izaya teased, his scarlet eyes almost swirling with intensity.

Shizuo gritted his teeth and tightened his fist as he tried his best to quell his anger.

"Look. I'm not going to hurt you anymore." Shizuo let out a heavy sigh.

"Oh? Why? Because we're lovers? That's quite hard to believe." Izaya shrugged. "Why would I love you? It makes no sense to me. I'm much smarter than you and I'm clearly the one with financial stability. Besides, everyone seems to know that you used to chase me down in rage. Maybe it's  _you_  who's trying to use  _me_. I can't see a single reason for me to love a  _monster_ …" Izaya dragged the last word out to make a point, staring at Shizuo to watch the effect it had on him. He smirked when he noticed Shizuo's face falter. "… when I'm clearly the superior human being."

Shizuo's heart pounded, no, thundered in his ears as the blood rushed throughout his body.

Out of habit, his hand fingered the letter in his pocket which had always kept him from exploding in anger or sadness. Then he remembered the content of the letter.

He hurriedly pulled it out.

Izaya blinked when the neatly folded papers were handed to him.

"What's this?"

"Your love letter… you gave to me."

"I? Gave to you?" Izaya took it in disbelief and partial scorn. He skimmed through it roughly.

"It's a proof that you were the one who first confessed to m…"

Before Shizuo could even finish, Izaya stopped reading the letter mid-way and folded it back together.

Then he ripped it in half.

And another half. And then another, shredding the precious pieces of paper into litters.

With an inconsiderate shrug, he tossed it back to the blond ex-bartender.

"Too long, didn't read." was all Izaya said with a semi-devious smirk.

Shizuo watched in silence, his expression unreadable behind those blue shades as the paper flakes fell from his face to the floor.

"Angry?" Izaya smirked, testing his waters.

"No." Shizuo shook his head. His heart tore into pieces along with the letter but he refused to show the pain in his face. Instead Izaya was startled to see a calm and gentle smile on the blond's countenance.

"The real thing is in here." Shizuo said as he thumbed his chest. When Izaya cocked his head in confusion, Shizuo explained further. "I've memorized it."

"Pfff… Puhahahaha!" Izaya chuckled out loud, his shoulders shaking as he laughed at the man's cheesy line.

"You memorized the letter? Wow, obsessive aren't you?" He still giggled, a tear forming in one eye from laughing too much. With a small sneer, Izaya added softly, "how disgusting."

Shizuo did not say anything to that, his head feeling light-headed and his ears thundering loudly with his own heart beat. He took a quiet intake of breath and let it out slowly. Then he bent down to pick up the pieces of the letter carefully, making sure he picked up everything.

"Oh my, now you're crawling on the floor for trash? Haha, you're like an insect! Lower than a human. I remember my sisters said you used to call me 'flea', but who's the flea now?" Izaya continued to laugh at Shizuo as he silently picked up all the pieces of the letter from the floor.

After he quietly pocketed all the letters from the floor, he retrieved the bento box from the trash bin.

"Are you really gonna eat that trash now?" Izaya smirked as he watched the tall man, wondering how far he could push this man's button.

"I can always feed it to birds." Shizuo quietly replied as he bundled it back up.

"Heh… so Heiwajima-san likes peace like his name indicates? How laudable." Izaya snickered scornfully.

After packing up, Shizuo left. Izaya relaxed as soon as the man left, the tension leaving him.

'Hope the bastard never comes back.' Izaya thought to himself, sinking into his fluffy pillow, humming to himself pleasantly as he waited for the girls to visit him. Especially the one with the bigger boobs.

* * *

Shizuo walked silently back home, his heart crushed yet strangely devoid of any emotions. His legs were on autopilot as he walked back the familiar streets to his house.

He placed the bento box in the kitchen then he took out the crumpled pieces of letters onto his morning table.

'I should get some tape…' Shizuo thought to himself dumbly.

He moved listlessly, his hands and legs moving like a robot rather than through his own controlled mind. The debt collector had indeed memorized the letter and Izaya's neat handwriting and though it was a lengthy letter, he was able to match up the pieces of the puzzle.

He had finished piecing together three pages and it wasn't until he reached the words,  _' The parts you want to hide, the parts you want to erase,'_  when his fingers faltered.

He found the next parts,  _'the parts that embarrasses you, the parts that you hate,'_  and fingered the tattered edges with his fingertip.

"I love them…" Shizuo said out loud softly in his silent apartment, feeling his voice sound hollow and crack as tears welled up in his eyes finally. Emotions swelled up and screamed at him to be let out and the blond started to choke out the feelings that were bottled up inside.

"Sorry Izaya... I guess this is how you must have felt when I crumpled your first letter and stepped on it back in high school..." Shizuo fingered the scars the love letter now carried on top of the tapes like bandages.

Wiping his wet cheeks with the back of his hand, he went back to work. He still had few more pages to tape back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Yay Izaya's awake and the dream is over ^^;
> 
> To those who have guessed the coma AND amnesia, yes you got it right. Even if people were guessing it, I didn't want to change my story just because it's predictable .;; I still don't plan to change anything in my fic even if people guessed the flow of the story right. And from what I read, people who have been in a coma normally have amnesia when they wake up, so I didn't want to make the fic too unnatural.
> 
> I'm sorry for those who think it's too cliche but if it's any consolation, I don't plan to go the route of "Shizuo takes Izaya home and takes care of him." (Don't get me wrong, i LOVE those fics to death but that's not the prompt of this fic so it will go a different route. ) Hopefully it will continue to be interesting.
> 
> Thank you for still reading my fics even if you guys think it's too predictable and cliche. Thank you again *heart*


	48. Chapter 48

"You again." Izaya rolled his eyes and his shoulders drooped. He seriously did not expect the blond to be back the very next day for lunch.

Shizuo nodded as he sat down and unpacked the same yellow bunny printed bento box along with another metal heat preserving container. Already Izaya could smell a delicious aroma filtering out of the container.

"What's that…?" Izaya asked half curious, though his stomach flopped at the idea of this man cooking girly things.

"I don't know how to say it, but it's like Bu… bu-ri-la-biss?" Shizuo unscrewed the top.

"You mean  _'Bouillabaisse'_?" Izaya raised an eyebrow as the strong delicious smell took over the room. His nose instantly remembered the food and his mouth salivated despite the fact that his brain continued to yell warnings that a  _man_  cooked it for him. Not just any man, but his  _enemy_.

"Ah yes. That. The seafood stew? Here, try it." Shizuo took out the spoon.

"No thank you. I already ate." Izaya managed to say. He was curious of the taste but he still cringed at the idea of eating cooking from this man who kept professing that they were in love when everyone else told him they used to be die-hard enemies.

"Alright." Shizuo conceded and backed off easily which made Izaya more nervous, wondering what the blond had planned this time. When Shizuo closed the lids, the delicious aroma ebbed away. Izaya's stomach growled lightly as the lingering smell continued to remind him that he would regret declining that meal later.

"So, how's your leg?" he switched the subject easily. Izaya tried his best to analyze this man. He had expected him to at least back off but the blond was much more aggressive than he had figured.

"Why should I tell you? Can't wait until you can chase me down again?" Izaya knew he was playing with fire. Though everyone had warned him about this man, so far he had not exhibited any of the signs of a berserker.

And Izaya liked playing with fire. It made him feel alive. Even without his memory, he liked the feeling of playing with danger just a bit. It gave him an exhilarating feeling while trapped inside the hospital room for a week now.

Shizuo just calmly replied, "Like I said, I'm not going to chase you anymore. I'm just worried about your health."

"As a lover?" Izaya snorted.

"Yes." Shizuo said with a serious face.

Izaya blinked. "You're kidding me. Are you serious?" He burst into laughter again, right at Shizuo's face, which he took calmly. Just as suddenly as his hysterical laughter, Izaya abruptly stopped and shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm not planning to go through the chiropractic treatments." Izaya announced.

Shizuo's eyes widened slightly. "Wait… you aren't even going to try to get better? Why?" He could feel his anger slowly building up. Izaya's eyes however turned icy as he glared at the blond.

"Why should I try to learn how to walk? Why should I try to regain my memory? I'm quite happy the way I am right now. I don't see the reason to learn how to walk when everyone takes care of me perfectly fine."

"So you're planning to sit here and let someone spoon feed you all day? How selfish can you get Izaya? You're taking your own chance at life from yourself!" Shizuo's face grew red with anger.

"Why are  _you_  so angry? Because I'm not in  _love_  with you now and you want my older self back? I am me, with or without memory. Aren't you the selfish one here? After all, if I _do_  recover my memory, I could have those assassins back at my tail! Shiki-san told me he hasn't caught those who mauled me and his men over that time yet. Which means, as soon as I do recover my memory, I could be assassinated at any time!"

" _I_  will protect you!" Shizuo shouted, still angry at Izaya running away. The Izaya he knew would fight back. He wouldn't have run away the assassins, and he wouldn't have run away from living his life to the fullest.  _His_  Izaya was not this cowardly or dependant, giving up control of his life to someone else or something else!

Again Izaya laughed at his face. "You? And  _who_  will protect me from  _you_?"

Shizuo scowled. "I said I won't hurt you."

"How do I know that?" Izaya rolled his eyes and snorted.

"You trust your sisters at least, don't you? I mean if you can trust your sisters then…"

"Who says I trust them?" Izaya shrugged. "I only trust  _myself._ "

"Izaya…" Shizuo growled. Izaya flipped his hands.

"Everyone says they are my sisters but what if they aren't? They're kinda unusual girls too, very mismatched. Oh well, whatever, they're kinda hot and they're all over me, so I kinda like that. Especially the one with bigger jugs, she's really cute. I really dig it when she straddles my legs and lean over…" Izaya continued, wondering when the blond will snap.

"Iiiizaaayaaaa….." Shizuo growled again dangerously, his anger fuming.

"Since I have no memory of them being my sisters, they're just two hot fucking girls willing to give their entire  _body and soul_  to take care of me. Why wouldn't I mind that? Besides…" Izaya smirked as he delivered his finishing blow.

"My sister's told me you are a monster. Should I trust them now,  _Heiwajima-san?_ " Izaya's tone was cruel and condescending, fully knowing this would hurt the blond.

Shizuo glared at Izaya in anger, but the reason of his anger was not what Izaya had predicted.

"So you're saying, that you lust after your own sisters?"

Izaya blinked, surprised that Shizuo didn't get angry at being called a monster but then quickly he adjusted by sneering back. "Well I don't remember them being my sisters and like I said, they're kinda hot. It just goes to show that I am a  _healthy_  man and not a  _fag_  like you."

"Healthy? It's  _sick_  to lust after your siblings, louse." Shizuo sneered, half surprised that he actually called Izaya 'louse' again after not calling him for so long, but it rolled out of his tongue before he knew it.

Izaya however didn't notice, nor did he have the memory to realize that Shizuo had given up on calling him 'the flea' or 'louse' a long time ago. Instead Izaya noted that Shizuo did not get angry at being called a 'fag.' His brain tried to figure out what would make this beast get angry, he was harder to predict than he had thought.

"So what would you like? Did you want me to lust after you instead?"

Shizuo's eye twitched at his condescending tone, angry at Izaya for desecrating the feelings he had for the raven.

"You say you're in love with me. Are you sure? I mean,  _why_  are you suddenly in love with me? If I'm correct, you've been hating me ever since you met me. The whole city seem to agree that you've hated me for  _years_. So suddenly, you telling me that you love me and acting like a housewife is making me sick. It's impossible for someone to change their feelings of deeply seated hatred and turn it completely around to something  _sweet_  as  _love_ , don't you agree?"

Izaya's mouth rambled on and on. Shizuo always knew Izaya's strength and his main annoyance was that chattering mouth so he broke the flow by cutting him off.

"Like I said Izaya, you confessed that you loved me first a long time ago and…"

"Oh so just because I said that  _I_  love you, you've decided to forgive all those years of hatred and go 'Oh I love you too honey~~' hmm? Still very unlikely. Maybe you didn't want to be alone? Poor little monster of Ikebukuro, when he finally found someone who loved him, he decided to jump on the chance because you just wanted to be loved. It didn't matter who, as long as  _someone_  loved you, even if that was your enemy. Maybe it was just how the events unfolded? Maybe you think you're in love but you're actually not. If things didn't happen the way it did, maybe you won't have…"

"SHUT UP!" Shizuo got up and clamped that motor mouth with his large hand. "You fucking talk too much."

Izaya sneered back at him and mumbled through the hand. Though Shizuo couldn't hear him, he could guess what Izaya was saying.

That by shutting him up, Shizuo was only confirming that what Izaya had said was the truth.

Insecurities flooded Shizuo's mind as Izaya voiced everything that was  _wrong_  about their relationship. The unanswered questions, the untouchable subjects, Izaya of course brought forth into light everything that Shizuo had no answers to.

But now, he had to answer them.

In those two months of peace, Shizuo had had a lot of time to think and reflect upon his relationship with Izaya. Why had he fallen in love with this man when he used to hate him so much? Staring into those cold crimson eyes, Shizuo realized that he still loved him even if he no longer loved him back.

"So this is how you must have felt huh, Izaya?" It wasn't a question but a statement as he quietly stared down at the young man glaring up at him with pure anger and disgust. "To feel the hatred of someone you're in love with. That must have been pretty tough."

Izaya rolled his eyes. Shizuo only smiled sadly, feeling how it must have been to be in Izaya's shoes for once. All these years, the feelings that Izaya had kept inside him, secretly guarded. Shizuo understood them now.

"It doesn't matter how I fell in love with you Izaya. The fact is, I love you." Shizuo said with finality. But Izaya looked unconvinced. Shizuo wasn't a talker but that challenging glare made Shizuo feel the impulse to convince Izaya and explain it to him.

He needed to answer that love letter before his heart exploded from bottling up his emotions for the two months he couldn't talk to Izaya.

"M… maybe it was out of circumstances, or maybe it was through series of manipulations and others pulling strings, I don't know! Maybe someone might argue it was fate or that it was a dumb luck. At one point I did wonder if what I felt for you was just lust and that I was just confused. But no."

Izaya shuddered when he saw Shizuo stared back at him calmly, his eyes clear and filled with conviction.

"What I feel for you is definitely love. It doesn't matter to me why it happened, how it happened, when it happened or even the fact that someone or several people might have manipulated me because in the end, like you say, you can't control love. There may be methods of seduction… but you can't  _force_  someone to fall in love with you."

Shizuo's voice was firm.

"It was my choice to pursue this… thing." Shizuo flubbed for the lack of better word to describe his feelings. "You may have done everything possible to make me chase after you, others could have strategically set the events such as tying you up in my bed in those silly outfits in hopes to stir something within me but regardless, like you said, you can't control love.

"So you can't force someone to fall in love.

"And even if you accuse me of falling for your seductions, the choice to follow what's in my heart is mine. And my choice alone. And I know what I'm feeling is more than just plain lust."

Izaya glared up at him defiantly while Shizuo regarded him back quietly. After a few seconds to let his words sink in, Shizuo continued.

"Someone might label this with whatever they want. That yeah there's a possibility that I might have jumped on it because someone finally said he loved me. And yeah, perhaps I was just that desperate and lonely. And sure, if someone didn't tie you up in my bed, maybe I would have never realized it. But it doesn't matter to me what others think, they can stamp a label with whatever excuse they want."

Izaya gripped at Shizuo's hand, clawing at it, not wanting to listen any further, but the blond held firmly. The raven could feel the passion in those words and they stabbed his heart like daggers. He couldn't understand why those words hurt him but whatever the reasons were, he despised it and wanted to be released from it.

But Shizuo was persistent as he leaned in closer so Izaya was forced to look at him in the eyes.

"I know what I feel. It doesn't matter _how_  I got here, but what matters to me most right now, is what I feel for you  _now._ "

Shizuo felt a bite. He looked down to notice that Izaya had bitten him as hard as possible with his teeth. Though it was nothing more than a kitten scratch, Shizuo let him go.

Immediately Izaya spat on him with pure disgust.

"You disgust me."

Shizuo remained silent as he wiped the spit from the side of his face.

"You know what you are? A creepy stalker who can't let go of the past. The past is past. The present is present. Get with the program, bastard. I'm not in love with you. All you're doing is shoving your feelings down my throat and expect me to listen. You know what people call that? Harassment."

Izaya glared at the blond with pure hatred that only reminded of Shizuo the mirror image that Izaya must have seen back then when the blond used to hate the flea with the same intensity.

"I'm not talking to you." Shizuo finally spoke. "I'm talking to the real Izaya, still sleeping inside you."

Shizuo pointed at the middle of Izaya's chest. "So wake up Izaya. Until the real you with all your memories tell me the answer, I'm never going to give up. That's the mistake I made last time. And this time, I'm not going to make that mistake ever again."

"Creep." Izaya snarled as he slapped away the hand pointing at his chest.

"Call me whatever you want, but I'll be back." Shizuo shrugged as he grabbed his lunch box and walked away to go home.

"With or without the memory, I am  _still me_  you bastard! Get that through your protozoan brain!" Izaya shouted at him as Shizuo closed the door.

Shizuo actually smiled though his heart was heavy.

'Heh… with or without his memory, he still calls me a protozoan.' He thought, half amused with the irony as he walked away from the room 404.

Izaya slumped back on his pillows and almost gagged at the nasty taste of the blond's hand in his mouth.

He had to devise another plan so the debt collector would finally give up on him.

He refused to  _wait_  until his memory was back since all things considered, he still had zero intentions of gaining back his past and dangerous life.


	49. Chapter 49

True to his words, Shizuo did not give up. The next day, he came to visit Izaya with his lunch once more. He was half surprised yet not when he came to the empty room.

"Excuse me," Shizuo asked a passing-by nurse. "Have you seen Orihara Izaya? Or did he re-locate to another room?"

"Ah, Orihara-san? His sisters usually take him outside to the lawn for fresh air when they come to visit him."

"Thank you." He said as he frowned lightly. It was a weekday and the twins should be in their classes. Then again, considering how often Izaya used to skip class, it wasn't too surprising that his sisters would do the same to visit their brother.

What Shizuo did see at the lawn outside however, did surprise him finally.

"Mmmngh… nnngh…" Kururi licked at the length.

"Iza-nii, Iza-nii! I'm working on it faster!" Mairu sucked and slurped harder as she dragged her tongue up and down. When Kururi decided to take the whole thing to her mouth, Mairu pouted and protested out hard, "No fair Kuru-nee! My turn, my turn!"

"Girls, girls. There's enough for both of you. Just concentrate on the head… and…. Ooooh yessss. Just like that… Mmmhmm… delicious!"

Shizuo's jaw dropped at the sight.

Izaya, wearing a white hoodie with white fur trims and pink buttons, the opposite of the black hoodie he usually wore, was holding a one long Popsicle near his crotch as he sat in his wheel chair as the twins kneeled next to him and slurped away at the ice cream.

That is  _not_  how one… or two, should share eating an ice cream! Not to mention, between siblings!

"IIiiiiiizaaaaaayaaaaaaaa-kuuuuuun!

!" Shizuo dragged his name in anger as he stomped across the lawn.

"Ah, look who's here. Heiwajima-san!" Izaya exclaimed with a small smirk on his lips that spoke volumes. "Care to join us? Or are you just gonna be jealous that I get the cute girls."

Shizuo was pissed as he walked forward. The two girls with their lips dripping wet got up and stood in between the monster of Ikebukuro and his target.

"No entry."

"Yeah, you aren't allowed to see Iza-nii! We told you to stay away from him!"

Shizuo stared down at the two girls. He could easily pick them up and shove them aside but he did his best to calm his anger and talk to them instead. Violence would only bring misunderstanding when it came to these two.

"Now look here. I'm here to help Izaya, not hurt him!"

"Lies."

"Oh and how do you think you are of any help? Are you gonna rape our Iza-nii until he remembers? I heard you've been telling Iza-nii that you two are lovers. Bullshit." Mairu had no problem yelling out vulgar words in public.

"Interference."

"Exactly what Kuru-nee says. You are interfering with our family time. What Iza-nii needs is us.  _We_  will bring Iza-nii's memories back if need be. So…"

"Leave!" Both of them shouted in unison at the blond in the bartender outfit. Their equally red eyes glared up at the infamous monster of violence with intensity and will to protect what they believed was theirs.

"And… by sucking on his ice cream, playing 'dress-up' as you don him in some white hoodie that he never wore, you think you will bring back his memories?" Shizuo spoke quietly though his hands balled into a fist as he tried to quail his fury.

"What's wrong with them? They're kinda cute." Izaya shrugged as he pulled up the white hoodie over his head. The long bunny ears drooped to his sides.

"Iza-nii is  _ours_." Mairu continued.

"Ours."

"You never belonged here. Stop trying to steal him from us!" Mairu's voice was slightly shrill.

"Always stealing!" Kururi yelled back just as vehemently.

"All Iza-nii stared at was you! Always you! Ever since high school!"

"Our turn."

"Yes, it's our turn."

"Stay out."

"And don't come back."

Their eyes were almost brimming with tears and it struck Shizuo that he understood their feelings.

That the two girls were always following their brother's back, hoping he would turn to recognize them even once. But of course, their brother only loved everyone equally. All humans were equal to him, his sisters were of no exception.

Shizuo had always assumed that the two sisters liked him only because he had connections with Kasuka. But no, everything was connected to their brother, Izaya. The twins wanting to become a perfect human so that their brother would love them back, the twins liking the one man who they believed was someone their brother would never love, and even down to idolizing Kasuka, the one peculiar human who was devoid of all human emotions yet able to act out all human emotions when necessary. An icon of a perfect human that they wanted to become so they could monopolize their brother's love. The media had always iconized Kasuka as the 'perfect man' who can be anyone he wished to become and it was no wonder that the twins were drawn to him if they wanted to become a perfect human for their brother.

Though at first Shizuo thought it was a simple illogical resentment from the twins who needed a scapegoat, someone to blame for what had happened to their brother, just by seeing how passionately the girls were clinging to Izaya showed him that the affection they had for Izaya ran deeper than what he had seen on the surface.

The two girls grew up without their parents. To them, Izaya was not only their brother or a family. He was more than just a father and mother figure. To them, Izaya was the reason for their existence, a god.

After reading Izaya's love letter, Shizuo started to see what sort of experiments Izaya might have done with people around him.

Despite knowing how cruel Izaya could be and have been in the past, Shizuo's heart still ached to see past the twins and the face that just sneered at him in disgust.

"Love… certainly does strange things to people." Shizuo murmured as he stood up straighter.

"I'll be back Izaya. Do spend some quality time with your sisters instead of being a perverted flea. If you harm them in any way, I'm kicking your ass." Shizuo turned to leave. He could hear their jeering from behind him but he did not let it bother him as he contemplated what to do next.

* * *

"Shinra, I need your help."

That was what Shinra woke up to ass crack in the morning as he blinked his eyes at the neon glares of his digital clock.

It read 5 a.m.

"Shizuo? It's kinda early isn't it? Did you run into some sort of gang?"

"Err… no. I couldn't sleep."

Shinra rolled over to the side of his bed.

"Well first, try to relax. Insomnia can be medical treated with…"

"No, no. Not  _that_  kind of help. I mean Izaya."

"Oh." Shinra frowned. "Didn't we go over this Shizuo? There's nothing we can do but wait it out for Izaya to recover his…"

"But his sisters don't seem like they want him to recover his memory. They like him that way since he's giving them attention… even if I think it's inappropriate ones. In fact, Izaya himself doesn't seem to care. Everyone's been feeding him information on how he got hurt and now he thinks it's safer to  _not_  recover his memory."

"Well, it is kind of true." Shinra rubbed his eyes, wondering if he had to get up after all. He continued to lay in bed.

"Of course it's not true! Those men could still be after his life. It's only a matter of time before Izaya  _does_  remember! And even if he didn't remember, they would regard him as a possible threat anyway!"

"Well, that's true." Shinra conceded. It was easier to just agree with Shizuo than have his ear drums rupture with the blond's angry bursts.

"So I was thinking…"

'At least he's thinking…' Shinra noted as he listened.

"What can we do to kinda… hurry up the thing."

"You mean the process to recover his memory?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm…" Shinra thought for a moment, trying to will his morning headache to go away.

"There's several ways. In regards to post-traumatic amenesia or dissociative amnesia, one uses the trigger points in the memory to…"

"In  _English_  Shinra…" the blond growled into the phone.

"Oh right. Sorry, it's a bit too early for me." Shinra chuckled apologetically.

"Sometimes taking them to places they remembers in the past, or talking about things that had happened previously in the past, or making them do things that's their usual habit triggers things such as muscle memories that helps amnesiacs to remember other pieces of puzzles to connect their pre-existing declarative memories that are lost in the conscious recollection since bilaterally damaged hippocampus lacks spatial coherence…"

"You're slipping again Shinra…" Shizuo sighed.

"Ah sorry. But basically what I'm trying to say is you need to trigger his muscle memory, usually something from his past that will unravel the rest hopefully. Kind of like finding the connecting piece of separated segments of the puzzle."

"Muscle memory…" Shizuo thought out loud. "I see. Thanks Shinra. I think I know what to do." Shizuo said with confidence.

Shinra yawned. "Oh really? And what are you going to do."

Shizuo smiled to himself as he remembered that night Izaya was tied to his bed in a maid outfit.

_"God dammit Shizuo! It's too late! Don't you get it?" Izaya screamed at him as he tried to push off the blond while still wearing that ridiculous maid outfit._

_"It's six years too late!"_

Izaya's scream still rang clearly in Shizuo's ears. And he remembered how many times he had wanted to rewind the clock and go back to the past to fix all the wrong things he had done.

Now he knew what to do.

"I'm going to turn back time." Shizuo smirked before he hung up.

Shinra blinked at his beeping phone for a second before he shrugged it off and went back to sleep.

* * *

The next time Shizuo came to visit Izaya, he came prepared with a bag in hand.

But Shizuo wasn't the only one prepared.

Standing in the hall, guarding the hallway that led to Orihara Izaya's room were his two sisters, Mairu and Kururi. The pigtailed glasses girl was wearing her usual classic long skirt school girl outfit while her hands and legs posed not-unlike Bruce Lee in  _Fist of Fury._ The short haired girl just wore her gym clothes that not only accentuated her large bosom but also the red bloomers showed more legs than necessary. In her right hand she had a taser, while in her other hand was a pepper spray along with sharp pencils, protractor and scissors between her fingers like shurikens.

They were prepared for battle. They weren't going to go down without a fight.

"Halt." The soft voiced girl announced firmly.

"We heard from Iza-nii that you've been harassing him during the times we're in school. We've come to end this." Mairu said boldly.

"You're not stopping and you can't stop me either." Shizuo said as he marched forward without any intention of halting.

The girls didn't hesitate and stood their ground as the clicks of Violence incarnate of Ikebukuro's dress shoes echoed loudly on the marble tiled floors.

When Shizuo approached near enough, the girls took a step to lunge at the monster, prepared to stop him or die trying.

Just as Kururi was about to thrust her taser into Shizuo's shoulder and Mairu was about to whirl around for a tornado kick, Shizuo shouted, "A personalized autograph of Hanejima Yuuhei and two front row seat tickets to Hanejima Yuuhei's screening!"

The girls froze as they stared at the two tickets and the two autographs made out to Orihara Kururi and Orihara Mairu in front of them with wide doe eyes.

"Y-y-you can't bribe us with just…" Mairu stammered.

Shizuo whipped something else out of the bag. "A ticket to Hanejima Yuuhei's backstage in his latest movie and a special chance to meet him in person!"

Kururi gulped at her dry throat while Mairu's lips quivered at the sight.

"Time out!" the girls shouted and huddled with their backs turned to the debt collector as they quickly discussed amongst themselves.

Shizuo waited patiently. When he had phoned earlier that day and said to his brother, "Kasuka. I need some help," the young actor solemnly agreed to help him with everything he got. It was his idea to bribe the sisters even before Shizuo knew what he should do about his situation. Then the younger Heiwajima sent a courier over with the delivery within just three hours.

Finally the two girls turned to face him.

"We still don't think that's enough for us to hand you over our brother." Mairu spoke with perhaps a too confident voice.

But Shizuo knew that they were cracking.

"You drive a hard bargain." Shizuo sighed with pretended dramatic flair which would have made Izaya proud.

So he took out the final ace card that Kasuka had given him.

"An exclusive dinner with Hanejima Yuuhei at a five star restaurant, just you two and him, at a private VIP room. All expenses are paid for."

The two girls jaws dropped.

"W... we... still... don't... think..." Mairu hesitated while her mind boggled at the idea of them dating their favorite actor.

"Deal."

The blond and the pigtailed girl turned to face Kururi who took the tickets from Shizuo's hand.

"K-K-Kuru-neeee!" Mairu stuttered, unable to process what had just happened.

"But." Kururi held a finger toward the blond with stern eyes.

"One chance."

Shizuo nodded somberly as he picked up his bag and walked toward Izaya's room while the two girls split and parted way for him to pass.

When Shizuo opened the door, Izaya was humming to a song on his white and pink headset. He was still wearing that white fur coat with pink buttons. Shizuo's eyes twitched at the sight. Izaya… the  _real_  Izaya would never wear this!

"Ah, girls. Remember today I wanted… wait, what are you doing here?" Izaya switched in mid-sentence when he looked up to see he wasn't speaking to the twins.

"You sent out your two sisters to defend for you? That's pretty low even for you, Izaya." Shizuo growled.

"They're  _my_  sisters. I can do whatever I want with them."

They locked eyes and glared at each other.

Without another word, Shizuo grabbed Izaya's shoulders and pinned him to the bed.

"W-what the, hey!" Izaya yelped as the debt collector swung his leg across and sat on his stomach, conveniently pressing him down. Then to his horror, Shizuo started ripping off his clothes.

"Fuck! Get off of me you perv! Rapist! This is a sexual assault! Think you can get away with this you disgusting… nggh!"

"Hold still!" Shizuo shouted finally, as he tore off Izaya's clothes easily. Then he grabbed hold of Izaya's pants and pulled it off in one swoop. Since he no longer needed a cast and wasn't wearing any, it made it all the easier.

Izaya shivered as he was fully naked and exposed save for his boxers in front of him. He looked up in shock as the blond started to take off his black vest.

As if he would allow himself to be raped!

Izaya dug his hand under his pillow for his emergency switch blade. He didn't understand why his sisters gave it to him but they had said that "Iza-nii always carried this so you can have it back."

He had never used it before, not even to cut an apple. But he gripped at it and flicked it open, feeling a bead of sweat form and slide down the side of his cheek. He felt his blood rush as he quickly flung his arm to stab this man, trying not to think about the blood he might see or if he were to kill him, how he would have to explain it later.

He needed to survive.

Izaya gasped as Shizuo held out his hand, as if he had known and was waiting for him, catching Izaya's wrist. He then slowly closed his other palm around it.

When the blond let go, Izaya's eyes widened at the bent knife that now faced toward him. It was the first time Izaya had first-handedly experienced the monster's supernatural strength that everyone had warned him about.

The ex-informant shuddered as Shizuo let go of his thin wrist. He didn't shiver because of the strength that this man possessed. But his control.

Because even as this man had the power to bend his flick blade like straw, Izaya had felt no pain on that wrist that he held firmly with his other hand.

Now that was freaking scary.

Izaya dropped the blade with trembling hands. But he refused to show fear and lose to his adversary.

"So. You're going to fuck me until I regain my memory now?"

Shizuo looked down at Izaya at those glaring eyes.

The blond sighed as he grabbed something from the bag.

Izaya flinched, thinking Shizuo was going to harm him and struggled as the debt collector put something over his head.

"It's not like I've not seen you naked already Izaya, so stop struggling."

Izaya frowned as Shizuo dressed him in a red v-neck shirt. Then he grabbed what looked like a high school uniform and dressed Izaya properly. Izaya blinked in confusion as Shizuo finished dressing him in a weird custom-made school uniform where the top was shorter than the usual length. Then he looked up to see Shizuo slide on a blue blazer with a Raijin Academy's badge on the side. Those clothes were the real reason why Shizuo had called Kasuka that morning, a custom-fit of their high school uniform from the past since their old ones were long gone and probably too small.

Kasuka had ordered a special seamstress who makes made-to-order custom movie costumes to have it done as soon as possible. The outfits were made and delivered within three hour along with the tickets.

"Alright. Let's go." Was all Shizuo said as he picked up Izaya over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

"W-what the, let me go! Where are you taking me?" Izaya shouted and struggled, punching and pulling at the blond's head.

"Back in time Izaya. We're going back to where it all started." Shizuo said, not caring that Izaya was hitting him with all he had since they felt like nothing but mere kitten scratches to him. He walked down the hallway unperturbed as everyone stared. But not a single nurse, doctor or a patient stopped the two infamous monsters of Ikebukuro as left the hospital and returned to the streets.

As the two walked out, the twin sisters looked below from their 4th floor window as Shizuo carried off their brother.

"Kuru-nee..." Mairu looked at her sister slightly worried, an honest expression she never allowed anyone but her twin.

"[It's] alright." She turned to face her sister with softer, understanding eyes that she too would never show to anyone else.

"[If] fail, [Iza-nii's] still ours."

Mairu nodded as she held hands with her sister. Kururi squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"Yeah. Shizuo-san only has one chance. If he fails… Iza-nii will still be ours. But if he doesn't… would Iza-nii…" her voice trailed off uncertainly.

"[Still] ours." Kururi confirmed as she tightened her hand that held her twin sister's.

Both knew that they were not as sure as they sounded and that they were scared of losing their brother again.

But it was time to trust the blond debt collector and let go of their controlling possessive hold that was slowly deteriorating the relationship between the siblings. They knew it wasn't healthy if they continued this path. They knew that the infamous older Heiwajima was the only one who could probably stop the Orihara family.

As the two girls held hands and looked out the window, they waited for their brother to return home.

* * *

Izaya struggled the entire way, yelling, punching and screaming. If he could kick him, Izaya would have done so as well. After 20 minutes, he was exhausted and decided to bury his face in humiliation as people on the streets gawked at the spectacle.

By the time they had arrived at Raira High school, all the students had left. A few kids with extracurricular activities had stayed behind but even most of them had left too.

Shizuo bowed as he met his old teachers he met in the hallway, two of them gave their old students an odd look but didn't bother stopping them. He walked up to the rooftop and finally dropped his grouchy high school classmate. He checked the time.

The sun was right before the sunset, the sky just as blue as it was back then. Shizuo turned to look at the door to the rooftop and smiled in memory as Izaya leaned against it grumbling.

_"Ah… Shizu-chan," the young boy with raven haired smiled charmingly as the blond high school student with his blue blazer opened the door to the rooftop and came outside to the sky. "You came."_

Shizuo could still hear Izaya's voice from that time.

"This is our old high school, Izaya."

"Yeah I figured. So bringing me here is somehow gonna help me remember?" Izaya muttered.

"Well it's a start." Shizuo rummaged and pulled out the taped up love letter.

"Do you remember giving this to me?"

_"What the fuck do you want louse. If you actually want a fight fair and square, I'd gladly punch your lights out. So bring it," the young Shizuo growled at his enemy as he held up the little 'love letter.'_

Izaya stared at it, and hooted out laughter.

"You actually taped-up that shit? Ahahahahaha!"

Shizuo however did not get angry. He folded it back and pocketed them. He shrugged. "You rarely write love letters you know."

Izaya rolled his eyes. "Get to the point Heiwajima-san."

Shizuo smiled at the memory.

_Izaya giggled. "Not quite. It is our last day at this school, I'm quite sure, since I'm not planning to come to the graduation ceremony. Ceremonies are boring aren't they? We all have to sit and listen to these great people talk on and on about how great they are and how great a future we have and we have to just sit there and smile and nod our heads as if-"_

_"Get to the point louse!"_

_"Ah~ Shizu-chan, you never were a patient audience." Izaya sighed as he looked downwards and side-ways as if with deep regret._

_"And you love the sound of your voice too much, it grates my ears," Shizuo grumbled as he crumpled the letter Izaya had so lovingly hand-written. Izaya pouted. That was one of the few letters he's ever written in his life. Many of his disciples would have loved to have received a letter from him. Such an ungrateful brute._

"That day, you gave me a love letter. Not this one, but another. I crumpled it and stepped on it on this rooftop." Shizuo explained calmly. Izaya just scoffed.

"And on that day, you stole my second button." Shizuo said, pointing at his uniform. Though it was a replica, it was certainly missing a second button.

Izaya frowned. He looked down on his uniform.

It was also missing a second button.

"What are you trying to get at…?" Izaya started. But before he could finish, Shizuo scooped him up in his arms again, bridal style.

"Like I said, we'll be walking down that memory lane, that day that was most important to you. Shinra said the best way for someone to regain their memory is through their muscle memory." Shizuo smirked.

Izaya felt his stomach flop and had to quickly hook his arms around the blond brute's neck in fear that he might get dropped. He didn't like it, but without his legs he was helpless.

"Indulge me, Heiwajima-san." Izaya sneered. "And how the hell do you think I can regain my memory through muscle memory now?"

Shizuo looked down at Izaya with a confident smile.

"Parkour."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> author's note: This should be the last transition scene before the finale *heart* I'm almost finished guys *heart*
> 
> Thank you for staying with me thus far. Now it's the race to the finish line.


	50. Chapter 50

"First, you ripped off my button, then you dangled it with your knife." Shizuo said as he walked over to the spot that Izaya had once stood many years ago.

"Then, you jumped up the fence…!" Shizuo rushed to the fence, climbing it up with just the dash momentum to the top. Izaya gasped and screamed, "Are you fucking outta your-!"

"-and hold on tight because this is where you  _jumped!_ " Shizuo shouted with glee, his arms wrapped around Izaya securely. Izaya felt a rush of wind and his stomach drop as the blond monster did exactly that.

He jumped.

From the four story tall building!

Izaya didn't know he had the high pitch scream of a girl until that day.

The raven shut his eyes and tensed up his body in preparation for the pain of being crushed to the ground. He felt a jitter and the impact, but the only pain he felt was whatever his mind thought he might feel but nothing more.

He opened one eye to peek when he felt Shizuo land to the ground. There was a small crater around them as the earth gave in slightly. Shizuo even struck a pose like Spider-man, with one knee on the ground. Izaya had heard of this Heiwajima's insane strength and had witnessed him bending his knife but it still did not mean that the said blond could kidnap him and throw him around!

"Y-you block head! Protozoan! Neanderthal! Degenerated ameba! We could have  _DIED_!" Izaya shouted, with one hand trying to bash that skull somehow, even if he knew it was impossible. He hoped it made him at least feel better but it didn't. Shizuo just shrugged it off and stood up. Izaya's eyes widened when he realized Shizuo really was unscathed.

That jump did not even sprain him.

Izaya shivered slightly, quailing at the idea of exactly what level of monstrous power this man hid behind this façade of a human body.

"You're not human. You're a monster!" Izaya exclaimed.

"You're getting there Izaya." Shizuo looked unfazed by Izaya's insults. In fact, he grinned at them because he was glad to finally hear them from his lips.

"But there's one insult I hate more. So you better think of it by the time we're done today."

"Huh?" Izaya didn't understand. Insult? This man wanted to be insulted?

"You want insults? I'll give you insults, you piece of-"

"Okay, then you ran out, dodging the students!" Shizuo cut him off with a quick dash, zigzagging between the few imaginary students leaving school. The sudden rush forced Izaya to shut up, least he bit his tongue.

When Shizuo ran straight toward the tall brick wall, Izaya gripped tightly onto the back of Shizuo's blue suit, uncertain if this protozoan man would crush his body into the wall or…

Shizuo jumped, with only two steps, he reached to the top. With a brief second to time himself, he spun a 360 in mid-air with Izaya in his arms, in which the raven saw the clear bright blue sky, wondering why the hell he could see it, and then landed perfectly on top of a moving truck with a crunch.

"Then you look back to make sure I'm following you." The blond said as he looked behind him.

To Izaya's surprise, he looked past Shizuo's shoulders and saw an after-image of a younger boy with blond messed up hair and blue raijin uniform crash onto the roof of the car behind them, with the driver freaking out.

Izaya blinked again and saw a normal car with an undented roof, and just a driver staring at them as if they were crazy.

The raven rubbed his eyes, confused.

"After you make sure I'm livid and chasing you, you turn and hightail outta here at this corner!"

Shizuo stretched his arm out to grab onto the street sign pole and swung his body around it. The sudden wrench and pull surprised Izaya as he clung to the blond monster.

"And you swirl around this sign pole a few times to tease me~" Shizuo said as he slowly landed with a graceful swing. "Then you run down the street, laughing when I rip out the pole and chase after you with it."

Izaya frowned, trying to think if he could remember it. He looked behind Shizuo's shoulders again, almost imagining the picture as the pole remained there, yet he saw a double vision of it in the young blond man's hand as the school mate chased him down.

"Alright, here you come to a dead-end on purpose." Shizuo said, and Izaya's attention came back forward, meeting the tall brick wall with trash bins to each side.

"Why would I…"

"Okay, hold on because I'll need one hand."

Izaya immediately tightened his hold as Shizuo let go of an arm to jump up and grab onto the escape ladder on the side of the building. He climbed up a bit just so he could jump to the other side of the wall with the higher ladder. Then he jumped onto the ledge and climbed up the wall.

The raven breathed in short breaths as the floor grew further and further away from him. Each time Shizuo jumped, his stomach lurched, terrified that the blond would miscalculate the distance or lose his grip.

But Shizuo didn't. And he rose to the top of the apartment condo with ease.

Once on top of a fourteen stories tall building's roof, Shizuo took a pause. Izaya could feel the wind lightly rustling his hair.

"Alright, once you got up here, you waited for me to climb up. And I glared at you because you were grinning at me and telling me how slow I was." Shizuo said as he looked down, holding Izaya close to him so he didn't fall.

Izaya looked down too.

Fourteen stories high was no joke.

"H-Heiwajima-san... I think you're taking this joke a bit too far..." Izaya hated how his voice stammered just a bit with betrayal.

Shizuo took no notice.

"Once I was almost up. You walk toward the other end of the building…." Shizuo did exactly just that.

Izaya could feel the dread eating his heart slowly, like a disease.

"H-Heiwajima-san... this is  _not_  funny anymore..."

"And as soon as I get up to the roof..." Shizuo said, and that was all the warning Izaya got.

Shizuo dashed again.

Toward the edge of the building.

Izaya froze, his mind screamed, and his heart stopped beating as Shizuo jumped off the building.

The world turned upside down as the flash of the sun caught the edges of their uniform, almost glittering. The breeze whipped their faces as Shizuo did a full turn in the air, his legs still carrying him far.

Everything moved slowly as the sun moved counter clockwise, the birds flew downwards and the clouds spun in a circle.

Izaya felt his heart beating. Each beat loud in his ears. A thud. A thud. And a thud.

A crash and Shizuo landed safely onto the other side of the building with Izaya still in his arms.

Izaya choked, breathing finally after holding his breath for what only lasted seconds but felt like hours.

His blood rushed through his body as his heart pumped rapidly.

"Did I scare you?" Shizuo asked softly.

Scared?

Was he scared?

Izaya blinked, trying to decipher his emotions.

No, he wasn't scared.

Rather, it was...

_...exhilarating._

Izaya snorted. "Scared? Of course not." Though it seemed a bit unconvincing as he was currently wrapping his arms tightly around the blond monster's neck so he wouldn't fall.

Shizuo gave him a boyish smirk.

"Alright then. Right here, you teasingly walked to this edge and..." Shizuo got up, still holding Izaya as he balanced himself and walked on the ledge.

Izaya couldn't help but slightly tighten his grip. One misstep and they would plummeted to their inevitable death. Fourteen stories tall was not a height that even a monster could survive from, he thought.

Did he really walk along the ledge like this? With death just a misstep away?

"And as I run towards you, you look back at me and smirk..."

They both turned to look back. There was no one there save for the invisible ghost of their past.

"Then you jumped!"

Shizuo lurched forward, taking a short dash on the ledge before jumping across nothing. His legs carried him as if walking on air. He could feel himself soar through the sky, almost feel his own legs doing that walk, his arms flailing as he glided across the blue emptiness. The wind split like a wave of water as the dark bangs tickled Izaya's brow. That split second when they defied gravity and flew upwards.

Parkour. A discipline in which a traceur adjusted, bent, jumped, climbed, vaulted, swung, spun, rotated and rolled, not letting a single obstacle get in their way. Rather, using the obstacles as stepping stones to further advance; using them to their advantage.

The symbol of true freedom. The fight to be free of being controlled. The rebellion against the rules of the society that tied them down, to leap over them freely and without burden.

Freerunning. An art of expression using one's body to perform and display their defiance to everything that the world shackled down. Refusing to believe in the limit even when faced with the wall of reality or the gravity of modern science. Constantly and continuously fighting against it to prove of an existence that was beyond the human mind that told them, "No. That's impossible."

A fitting visible display of affection for someone like Izaya who truly believed in his twisted love for humanity, refusing to conform, always reaching for the top, striving for the impossible immortality.

And for Shizuo as well as the man not quite human, not quite monster, tied down to this world ironically by his supernatural power.

Their parkour, their art of expression for freedom, was like a tornado dance as two fused together, leaving behind trails of massive destruction, remnants of their act of revolution.

And now in unison, Shizuo landed on top of the roof of a seven stories tall building, his arms still clutching Izaya tightly, his left knee and right foot on the floor denting it with a forceful impact.

Those few seconds were a life times teaching of revelations to Izaya as his heart raced in his chest, threatening to jump out of his tiny rib cage. He blinked and gasped for air that he did not know he was holding in.

"Did you feel it?"

Izaya looked up at Shizuo, half dazed after feeling such an elating sensation.

"Feel what?" the raven asked.

Shizuo softly smiled.

"Your wings."

"My..." Izaya opened his mouth, then closed it.

He stared at Shizuo in disbelief at his word. Then he laughed. But it wasn't a laughter of ridicule. Rather, it was a laughter filled with delight.

"My wings? Hahahaha... Heiwajima-san… don't you think that's a bit cheesy?" He giggled some more as he looked up at the blond with just a bit too serious eyes.

"Maybe. But I don't regret saying them."

Izaya decided he kind of liked this man's twinkling eyes. They were filled with passion. Though he couldn't quiet forgive him for all the harassment he had to go through, he did decide the man had pretty amber eyes.

"Since you can't use your legs, I'll be your legs for you." He said as he stood up properly, still holding onto Izaya.

The raven felt his heart stop in that moment as the blond stared back. Those chestnut colored eyes told him that he meant what he said. Then the pounding of his heart began with renewed vigor.

He looked away, half embarrassed at those words, his ears slightly burning.

If Shizuo noticed those blushes, he did not mention them to Izaya. Instead he continued down memory lane, chased by the ghost of his past.

"Alright here, you turn back to watch me jump, following you closely. Then you dash off..." Shizuo started running again, carrying Izaya. By now Izaya felt comfortable being carried. In fact, it was even kind of fun.

The rush of adrenaline tingled through his body. It was as if he could almost remember doing something similar but still not quite yet. But it was triggering things in his brain.

The way the wind brushed past his cheeks.

The way his heart pumped fast as he was chased by a monster with supernatural strength.

As he flew across the sky, defying all logic, reason, gravity and science.

Forcing his body to go beyond the limits of a human body in his own way.

The excitement.

The exhilaration.

It felt oddly familiar.

And he started to recognize the places.

He had never been here since he had been stuck inside the hospital for weeks, but no.

He had been here.

In the past which he can't recall anymore but….

The familiar places started to come to him.

They were already down on the ground now, as Shizuo ran between the people in the busy streets of Ikebukuro. The bartender's speed did not slow at all even in the crowd as he weaved through them effortlessly and gracefully.

When did this brute become so graceful?

Then Izaya blinked.  _Brute_?

Did he call him that often?

Why did it roll on his tongue so naturally?

And how did he know that Heiwajima Shizuo wasn't graceful?

Actually... how did this man even remember all of his moves from over 5-6 years ago?

While thinking these thoughts, Izaya watched as Shizuo spun around another man to avoid collision.

"And here I grab a guardrail and swing it around, so you dodge to the side."

'Guardrail? Really? Heiwajima Shizuo could do that?' Izaya thought. But by now, he wasn't surprised.

"Then you turn the corner and…!"

Izaya immediately recognized it.

The Sunshine 60 street.

"And just as you are about to turn to the… you  _DUCK_!"

Shizuo shouted out loud as he ducked. The way he shouted made everyone else turn and duck too in fear, looking around to see what they were ducking for.

Izaya flinched as he held tightly onto Shizuo's shirt. He felt a whoosh, a breeze from the past.

After closing their eyes for few seconds, both slowly peek up. Izaya looked ahead to see a building's wall. For a brief second, Izaya thought he saw a crushed vending machine. But there was no broken vending machine recently thrown by the monster. Instead the wall remained undamaged, though there were blackened marks on the bricks to show that it was once heavily damaged.

"Good. You avoided my vending machine throw." Shizuo smirked. Izaya looked up and smirked back.

The men around them all got up, realizing that they were fooled as there was nothing falling on them. They muttered, giving either a nasty glare in Shizuo and Izaya's direction for fooling them, or pretending to fix their clothes and be on their way. Now both Izaya and Shizuo burst out laughing, as if they had intended to pull the prank on the others. Shizuo, still chuckling, carried Izaya off into the building of Sunshine 60.


	51. Chapter 51

Shizuo kicked the door open and ran. People inside moved out of their way in a hurry, surprised and startled. Shizuo rushed past the people waiting for the elevator and kicked the door open for the emergency exit.

And started to run up the steps.

The sound echoed throughout the stairs, loudly ringing in Izaya's ears. As the echo bounced around, he could nearly hear the second echo of the ghost of their past chasing them. Izaya peeked over Shizuo's shoulders.

He could almost remember a hint of the blue blazer wearing blond chasing after him angrily. Yelling at him.

The panting of Shizuo's breath was hot next to Izaya's cheek, the sweat seeping out of that burning body. Izaya could feel, smell, hear, see it all over again.

As they passed the 10th floor, Izaya blinked. He recognized it. No rather, he felt it.

"Here I..." Izaya said.

"Here you jump!" Shizuo shouted as he did so.

The door opened as one of the chef pushed the cart out, filled with plates of food. He yelped and shouted at them as Shizuo barely missed knocking over the cart.

Izaya blinked as he looked back. He could remember... the young blond knocking over the cart, apologizing for the mess as he continued to chase after him.

"Wait... how did you...?" Izaya looked back up and asked. Shizuo just smirked in reply.

"And this is where you knock down the barrels!"

And sure enough, at floor 12, there were barrels of ale which Shizuo kicked down. Izaya could see himself kicking it. And in the empty stairs below him, Izaya could almost see the younger angry blond cursing as he stumbled on them.

But in reality, they just rolled down the stairs, untouched.

"I remember..." Izaya murmured.

'Did... he plan all this?' Izaya thought to himself.

When he looked back up, Shizuo was already running ahead grinning.

Izaya too couldn't help but grin.

"And here you..."

"I kick the door open!" Izaya shouted for Shizuo.

Shizuo laughed. "Right!"

And Shizuo kicked the door open.

There was no sound but both clearly heard the ghost of the younger Shizuo slam into it head on, cursing at the 'flea.'

Both of them started laughing now as Shizuo ran up more steps.

And their charade continued. Every floor where Izaya had tricked Shizuo, every single step that they had both taken, and every single trap Izaya had placed for Shizuo, the now-debt collector remembered them and demonstrated flawlessly. And as each trick was revealed, Izaya remembered them.

All of them.

He remembered these steps he took, up the spirals of all 60 floors. He remembered the emotions he had as he was chased by the monster. He remembered the parkour moves ha had displayed as he ran up against the walls, and sometimes even the railing, as he flashily fought back.

Closer and closer, they were reaching for the top.

Shizuo huffed and puffed, panting heavily as he carried Izaya's weight. The fact that Shizuo could do all these moves while carrying Izaya was unbelievable.

Izaya too could feel his chest tighten, his heart pumping fast as he too started to sweat. Oxygen felt shallow in the narrow staircase, the air too hot from their breaths. He could feel his own legs feeling tired from running up all these steps with Shizuo though he himself did not perform the strenuous exercise.

They both looked up, reaching for the top. Only reaching for the exit. They could feel the walls close in as their goals were almost in sight, like a runner finally seeing the finish line in sight in a marathon.

The panting.

The heavy breathing.

The heavy weights of their tired legs as one foot after another stepped closer to the goal.

The furious hammering of the hearts as they pounded against their chest.

Their lungs screaming as they raced for cool air.

Izaya waited with baited breath as Shizuo ran up the last flight of stairs with the ghost closely behind their tails.

Finally, finally, Shizuo kicked the door that led to the roof of the building and burst through, his tired legs giving out as he fell. His lungs expanded as they welcomed the cold night air and fresh oxygen.

Shizuo fell on his back and panted, his chest rising up and down roughly as Izaya lay on top of him.

They were free.

The night breeze combed through the raven's hair as he looked up at the dark sky.

Already the sun had gone down and the stars had started to twinkle above them.

And a glorious full moon beamed down on the two with a bright smile.

Izaya stared up at the moon.

"Back then... there was no moon…" Izaya mumbled.

Shizuo was still trying to catch his breath, tired from running through the entirety of Ikebukuro and up sixty flights of stairs. He didn't catch what Izaya had said. But Izaya continued to stare at the moon.

"Back then... it was a new moon. There was no moon." Izaya said as he got up shakily.

"Izaya...?" When the weight lifted from his chest, Shizuo peeked open his eyes and looked up at the raven.

Izaya cringed, feeling as if he stepped on a bed of needles as he used his legs for the first time. But he gritted his teeth and stood up tall. Already his head started to feel dizzy, while his leg muscles screamed at him to stop.

However, he took a tentative step forward.

When Shizuo got up to help him, Izaya raised his hand to stop him from doing so.

Izaya took one step at a time, being careful not to lose his balance as he walked. Each step was more painful than the last and each pace felt as if needles were not just pricking the soles of his feet but stabbing through his skin and muscles.

He stopped when he came across to the other side of the roof.

"Here. I stopped here." Izaya said as he turned back and looked at Shizuo who had stood by the entrance. Shizuo grimly nodded. He knew this was very important for Izaya, that he had started to regain his memories.

Izaya's lips tugged upward at the corner in a half smile.

"And you, were there."

Shizuo nodded again in silence.

Izaya smiled with the soft light of the moon behind his back and said, "Shizu-chan."

Shizuo held his breath as his heart throbbed in his chest.

'Did he remember? Does he remember now?' the debt collector silently wondered as he looked at the man now no longer a boy.

* * *

_The door burst open as Izaya stumbled out, breathless, as he gasped for the cool night air. Izaya's legs gave out as he collapsed onto the floor, too tired from parkouring for hours, well into the night, not to mention climbing up all 60 floors of Sunshine 60._

_Shizuo was right behind him, also collapsing to the floor as he gasped for breath. The night air was chilly March, it wouldn't have been surprising if snow started to fall right now._

_"F... fucking louse! Give... give it back!" Shizuo's voice was hoarse, his clothes torn in odd places from the chase. But Izaya had cleverly kept himself mostly clean, while dumping trash behind him to wear out his pursuer._

_"Ahahaha. Oh Shizu-chan, is that the only thing you can think of while you're up here on Sunshine 60?" Izaya couldn't help but laugh, disappointed with his date for the night._

_"It's just a fucking roof, like any other roof," Shizuo tried to stand up._

_Izaya was already on his feet, tired but alert. He walked over to the ledge and Shizuo watched, half frowning at Izaya's practically suicidal action_.

* * *

Izaya took a deep breath and smiled. He raised his arms and said, "Look at this beautiful view Shizu-chan."

Shizuo's eyes widened, his face also smiling back at Izaya as he continued.

"Isn't it grand to stand above all of Ikebukuro like this, where humans are smaller than ants you can stomp on again and again?"

But the smile on Izaya's lips was a sad one, reflecting right back at Shizuo's.

* * *

_"Look at this beautiful view Shizu-chan, isn't it grand to stand above all of Ikebukuro like this, where humans are smaller than ants you can stomp on again and again?" Izaya turned around and beamed him a smile, his one out stretched hand displaying the neon-view._

* * *

Shizuo played his role. He said it out loud from his spot, "That's one too many disturbing thoughts. You want to stomp on humans?"

* * *

_"That's one too many disturbing thoughts. You want to stomp on humans?" Shizuo muttered, not liking any of this. He was tired, but he could still chase Izaya down and pummel him. But the idea of doing that was distressing when Izaya was so close to the edge of the roof, so close to plummeting down to the ground. Shizuo didn't mind beating the louse's face until it was unrecognizable, but the idea of Izaya falling to his death was... disconcerting.  
_

* * *

Izaya smiled again with mixed emotions as he saw Shizuo play along while both of them wore their high school uniforms, each missing a 2nd button.

On the rooftop, seven years later, they were replaying the broken record of their past, trying to finally move forward from the repeated cycle that had frozen them in time.

* * *

_Izaya smiled sadly at Shizuo, one of regret that Shizuo would never understand him. He then turned to view Ikebukuro in its full night glory._

_"Look at this gem, Shizu-chan. These glittering neon lights are more beautiful and priceless than any jewel or precious stone in the world for under each and every one of these lights are where human souls dwell. And nothing is more beautiful than humanity!"  
_

* * *

He turned his head to face the glittering neon lights and repeated the lines from his memory, much more solemn now than with the enthusiasm he once had.

"Look at this gem, Shizu-chan. These glittering neon lights are more beautiful and priceless than any jewel or precious stone in the world for under each and every one of these lights are where human souls dwell. And nothing is more beautiful than humanity!"

* * *

_Shizuo frowned as Izaya stretched out his arms as if he wanted to embrace humanity. Shizuo always thought Izaya was a little crazy and he really didn't understand him at all. All he cared right now… was he wanted his button back.  
_

* * *

Instead of spreading his arms out with flamboyant fervor, Izaya wrapped his arms around his body as if the wind was cold. He looked as if the wind could knock him down at any second.

Noticing this, Shizuo took a step closer.

* * *

_"Ah, the new moon. How perfect, isn't it Shizu-chan? It's like today is the ending of our high school lives and now, the beginning of our adulthood into the real world starts."_

* * *

"Ah, the new moon. How perfect, isn't it Shizu-chan? It's like today is the ending of our high school lives and now, the beginning of our adulthood into the real world starts." Izaya's lips were slightly quivering as the wind harshly blew. The rooftop was high where the winds were at its strongest, and they were no longer young hot blooded juveniles filled with youth and energy. But he held his place bravely, like an experienced actor refusing to step down from his stage until the curtains fell.

"Though it's a pity that there is no light that shines above us, but the darkness only illuminates the ones that shines even brighter than before. This black carpet of darkness, don't you wish to dye it with the color of your soul?"

No matter how harsh the wind blew, Izaya's eyes never left Shizuo's brown ones as he watched the blond step closer and closer with each of his words.

* * *

_"And how brightly will we shine, Shizu-chan? Don't you wonder at all if we can shine greater than the moon or the sun above us?" Izaya rambled on. Shizuo was fed up but he listened. Something... was different about Izaya today and the night air felt chilly as it brushed through the holes of his now ruined uniform. He stared at his mortal enemy as Izaya looked up at the sky in reverence.  
_

* * *

"And how brightly... will we shine, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked, barely a whisper now that Shizuo was just a step away from him. Izaya's eyes continued to stare deeply into Shizuo's, both mesmerized by each other. It was as if the world outside of this rooftop had melted away and this stage was their only world.

"How... brightly did we shine? Shizu-chan?" Izaya changed his words slightly from his past, his eyes very sad, and almost fearful to take the next step.

Izaya wasn't sure if he should finish his lines.

There was a lot of uncertainty in their future. A lot of mistakes that both weren't sure how to fix. And worst for Izaya, he wasn't sure if he could handle another heart break.

By now Shizuo had wrapped his arms around Izaya's waist and pulled him closer. The warmth from the heat of his large hands filtered through the red shirt and flooded into Izaya's blood vessels. He felt his heart pounding hard against his chest as he looked up at Shizuo.

Shizuo remained silent though his soft brown eyes coaxed him to continue.

Izaya took in a stuttering breath and let it out. Closing his eyes, he said his lines from his buried memory, "Don't you wonder at all if we can shine greater than the moon or the sun above us?"

Both had thought silently to themselves, 'did we shine greater than the moon or the sun above us all these years? Illuminating Ikebukuro with light every day and every night?"

* * *

_"Congratulations on your graduation Shizu-chan!"  
_

* * *

"Congratulations on your graduation Shizu-chan." Izaya's voice was much more subdued and submissive now, without that youthful teasing tone.

* * *

_"For you and I will be considered adults tomorrow! As you graduate from school and now society pushes you into the cruel reality of this world, what color then, would you color yourself in this darkness everyone refers to as 'Ikebukuro', Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked as the wind blew at the tips of his high school uniform. Shizuo didn't understand a thing Izaya was saying, but all he thought was Izaya was pretty crazy to be standing above Sunshine 60's ledge when the wind was this strong. And a second thing he thought was,_

_"I want my button back, louse." Shizuo growled._

_Izaya's lips thinned into a sad and regretful smile._

* * *

"For you and I will be considered adults tomorrow! As you graduate from school and now society pushes you into the cruel reality of this world…" Izaya hesitated, feeling partially guilty at dipping his own hand in as well. But Shizuo's arms around him held him firmly and they were warm. His eyes still gentle.

It pained Izaya greatly as he quoted himself.

"What color then, would you color yourself in this darkness everyone refers to as 'Ikebukuro', Shizu-chan?" Instead of the regretful smile, a small timid one replaced its predecessor.

"I want my button back, louse." Shizuo finally spoke now that it was his turn, but his words held no malice as it once previous did. Unknown to Izaya, Shizuo had not called him 'flea' or 'louse' in two months. Those warm tan eyes continued to bore down deeply into Izaya's uncertain reddish irises.

"Not sure if I remember the rest… Shizu-chan." Izaya looked away, shivering. He lied. He remembered, but wasn't sure he wanted to continue still.

He wasn't sure if he truly wanted to unfreeze time.

"This is where you quote the bible." Shizuo replied back calmly, as if helping his friend remember his lines for the play.

Izaya half smiled, amused at his own old antics as a child and at Shizuo who had carefully remembered. Shizuo had forgotten the first time he had told Izaya back several months ago, but once Izaya had told him it was from the bible, he had tucked it into his memory, showing that he truly did care about Izaya now.

"Did I now?" Izaya breathed softly.

Shizuo nodded.

Izaya closed his eyes once more and slowly took a deep intake of breath. Then he let it out evenly.

They had always wanted to go back in time. And here they were, back in time to that moment when everything had broke; trying to tape the broken pieces of their hearts back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The next chapter should be the last one (unless it strangely is too long and I have to cut it into two)
> 
> Thank you for reading and reviewing. It's been a long journey. I love you guys very deeply. You have no idea how much gratitude I have for you all readers for supporting me for so long. Thank you. I mean it with all my heart.


	52. Chapter 52

Izaya took a deep breath and quoted out loud his own speech from the past as if speaking to an audience.

"Genesis chapter 13. The Lord said to Abram, 'Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offsprings forever. Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you."

Then Izaya chuckled, breaking away from their play. "Sounds silly now that I've said that out loud."

"I've been meaning to ask you what that meant. I didn't get it." Shizuo asked with a light frown, still confused even after all these years.

"Ah, silly Shizu-chan. Do you remember what I said next?"

Shizuo thought about it for a second, looking to the side as he tried to remember. "You said, 'though I don't believe in god, I do believe it's an interesting passage, don't you think? If all the lands we look at now will be ours forever, how far would you look? How far would you travel?'"

Izaya nodded.

"I guess you meant that you wanted us to travel together." Shizuo looked back at Izaya again.

Izaya shifted uncomfortably, proving Shizuo was right.

"A life long journey?" Shizuo asked, finding Izaya's discomfort to be cute.

Izaya looked away silently.

"You're not finished." Shizuo reminded him, his grip around the raven's thin waist slightly caressing him.

Izaya gulped. "I guess not..." but his cheeks flushed light pink even in the cold chilly night. It was pretty embarrassing to say those lines again. They were his version of a 'confession' after all.

His legs still tingled and he leaned further into Shizuo for support.

With a bit more confidence, Izaya looked back up at Shizuo, their eyes once again locking together. So their play continued.

"Ah Shizu-chan. So silent now. Cat got your tongue?" Izaya teased, quoting his past self once more.

"I don't know what you're scheming louse, nor do I care for your gibberish." Shizuo smiled as he said his lines, though in the past he had said them with anger. Now he said them as he looked into Izaya's eyes fondly.

"Ah yes. Gibberish of madmen, that's what the bible is all about."

"I just want my button back."

"This is where... I turn isn't it?" Izaya said, regretfully pushing himself away from Shizuo.

"I don't think we need to re-enact this part..." Shizuo frowned, watching Izaya walk away with unsteady feet. He was too close to the ledge. Though in the past, Izaya had walked that ledge with agility of a surefooted cat, but now...

"Buttons, buttons! Is that all you care about Shizu-chan?" Izaya said as he made a graceful turn just like he had seven years ago. Except then, there was only darkness save for the few glittering stars in the polluted sky. Now his lithe body was illuminated by the glow of the moon almost like a halo.

However this time, Izaya's foot slipped, losing balance of his body.

Before he plummeted to his sure death, Shizuo was there grabbing and holding onto his waist tightly, pulling him closer.

Izaya could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears, loud not because death felt so close, but rather from the sensation of the falling vertigo he had just felt.

And from the sound of Shizuo's beating heart pressed into his ear. Izaya felt strangely safe in the arms of the beast, something he wouldn't have even think possible a few months ago.

"Okay, no more of that," Shizuo scowled, not approving that Izaya had gone so far to try to re-enact it perfectly. "Just the lines would do." Izaya could feel those arms tighten around him protectively.

"Aye, I guess I was a bit too close to meeting the creator there. Ironic, since this is where I talk about being your god, isn't it Shizu-chan?"

Since Izaya had to be above on the ledge looking down at Shizuo, the blond grabbed a few bricks and stacked them up. Then lifted Izaya up so he could stand on them. Izaya wobbled a bit but he was held steady by Shizuo's firm hands on his waist. Izaya placed his arms on those broad shoulders comfortably, still feeling shy to say his lines. His legs hurt a lot but it was bearable. For now.

"Where... was I..." Izaya furrowed his eyebrows.

"Buttons, buttons." Shizuo reminded him of his lines.

"Ah yes..." Izaya coughed, trying to get back into his mode. With a dramatic flair back in his voice, he spoke out loud, "Buttons, buttons! Is that all you care about Shizu-chan? Pity that this small button is what stole your soul. Why is this button so important to you? Is it perhaps because you believe in the stories they say about the second button?"

"I don't care louse, just give it back." Shizuo looked up at Izaya as he spoke those words. Izaya no longer heard any bitterness in his voice, just those loving eyes gazing up at him.

It felt like a dream.

That Izaya truly was back to Shizuo. All his memories attached.

And to Izaya, Shizuo was finally listening to him and understanding him.

Like an impossible dream that Izaya and Shizuo had never thought would happen.

"Do you... know why..." Izaya's throat tightened as he tried to speak his next lines. "... why the second button is so important, Shizu-chan?"

"I know the stories. It's because it's next to the heart isn't it?"

Back seven years ago, when Shizuo had spoken those lines, he had looked away from Izaya's gaze as he thought of Tom. But now he was staring up at Izaya, his thumbs lightly stroking the fabric next to his skin.

Izaya breathed softly. "Yes, Shizu-chan. Because the second button is the one closest to the heart, it is said to contain the emotions and memories from all three years of attendance at the school. It is a form of a confession to give this button away to a person.

"Does that mean, you have someone you wish to give your heart to, Shizu-chan? You, a beast? How laughable."

Back then izaya had burst out laughing with bitterness. But now, he was no longer laughing. He smiled a small smile, though it still held uncertainty and fear, as his future was still unclear. But they've come this far. There was nothing else but to move forward and see how things unfold.

"Shut up louse. That's none of your business."

"Ah. Perhaps it's true that it's none of my business. But Shizu-chan, though I may not believe in god, I do believe in one thing. I believe that the past makes us who we are. Our memories are what defines us as unique. And this small button right here, holds everything of your being. What you have seen from the first day of your high school, everything you've felt and experienced, it's right here in this tiny button.

"I don't believe in god because existence itself is indefinite. Though we live in a world where future is indefinite, one thing that is definite is our past that had existed for sure. Even if its troubled with misunderstandings and delusions, if you believe in the past, it can't be anything but the truth. If you determine your actions or your way of life based on the past I suppose that makes the past a kind of god.

"So then, our memories are what defines us, and our past is what enslaves us as who we are, just like a god." Izaya smiled sadly. These were lines he had said to Shizuo first, though later he had said them to multiple people such as Kida in the past to get his theory across.

"I don't understand a single thing you're saying louse." Shizuo said, repeating his line from his own past. But now he did understand what Izaya was saying. Perfectly and clearly.

"I'm saying Shizu-chan, that by dominating your past, I'll be your god."

Shizuo smirked, "wasn't the line, 'by predicting your anger, I'll be able to predict your future, thus I'll be your god'?"

Izaya frowned a bit. "Nooo... I'm sure I got it right. I told you that another time."

"I think you screwed up a few lines earlier too," Shizuo pulled him closer now, their foreheads touching. Izaya simply placed his two hands on the blond's shoulders and nothing more. The debt collector was carrying his weight so it didn't hurt the informant much to stand despite the prickling pain that ran up his legs.

"Did not."

"Did too."

They both chuckled.

"Then you got  _really_ angry," Izaya smirked.

"I think I chased you around the roof a few times, yeah."

"Too bad we can't re-enact that," Izaya sighed regretfully.

"Well, I still got one more promise to keep," Shizuo changed the subject. Still holding onto the informant with one hand, he shoved the free hand into his pocket to pull out a tattered love letter which was folded carefully despite the wrinkles.

"You taped it." Izaya whispered almost in awe. He reached for it.

"Nuh-uh! Oh no you don't. I'm not gonna have you rip it again," Shizuo pulled his hand away, out of reach.

"I won't," Izaya laughed but he pulled back his hand. He watched as the wind blew and the letter threatened to fly away. Shizuo brought it back down.

They both stared at it.

'It's tattered, wrinkled, torn and ripped…. And then taped together, barely holding on,' Izaya thought. 'Like my heart. Or dare I think…. Is it also like Shizu-chan's heart?' He lifted his gaze from the letter to stare at Shizuo's soft golden eyes.

"It's a bit late, but I want to answer you properly, Izaya." Shizuo looked into his once arch-enemy's eyes, filled with only tender and care.

"Ah..." Izaya lowered his gaze, remembering.

"Or maybe I should juggle your memory and read it to you," Shizuo smirked as he unfolded the letter.

Izaya's eyes widened. "No need!" He tried to swipe it but again Shizuo only pulled away, the latter being much taller. Izaya felt a sharp pain in his right leg and fell to the side. The blond was quick and grabbed the man before the raven fell harshly to the floor.

"Here, sit." Shizuo decided as he sat on the pavement and pulled Izaya to sit with him on the lap.

"This is unnecessary, pointless and…!" Izaya started, struggling. Shizuo only held him tighter around the waist.

"Sit," the blond ordered with a firm voice. A hand wrapped around him possessively.

"And listen."

Izaya's cheeks flamed as Shizuo brought him close to a cuddle and started to read out loud, "To my dear good old classmate, Heiwajima Shizuo."

Already, Izaya wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and die of embarrassment. Instead he buried his face on the crook of Shizuo's neck.

After listening for awhile, Izaya pushed the letter away, his face red like a lobster.

"Okay, I got it. You don't have to read the entire thing."

"But I haven't gotten to my favorite part."

Izaya sighed. "I wrote the letter. I remember what's in it. By now I take it you memorized it by heart."

"True… but you can read it for me if you won't let me read it to you." Shizuo smirked teasingly, resting his chin on top of Izaya's head.

"Like hell!"

Shizuo chuckled. It was rare for him to one-up Izaya, or get him this frustrated, so he couldn't help but laugh. The informant also stared, turning his head upward to see Shizuo smile genuinely. He felt like his limbs melted into jelly with all the strength fleeting from him while his stomach fluttered and flopped. He had only seen Shizuo laugh like that from afar, never so… close.

And never for him.

Though Izaya frowned and wondered if Shizuo was laughing  _at_ him. That wasn't cool.

"Alright, well I think you're late Izaya. You never arrived at 8pm," Shizuo smirked when he finally calmed down from laughing. There was slight sadness in his eyes, his one hand holding Izaya possessively while the other folded the letter back up and pocketed it safely.

Izaya squirmed uncomfortably at that, looking away. "Well, it was out of my control."

"But we're both here now." Shizuo nodded.

"Three months late but yes, we're both here now." Izaya nodded back.

A small awkward silence fell between them.

"Well?" Shizuo asked, looking at Izaya, trying to get the man to look back at him. "You wanted my answer I take it?"

Izaya fidgeted a bit. "This…. wasn't exactly what I had in mind…." Izaya had planned something more… grandiose. More banter and fighting, more vending machine throwing and flickblade flickering. He had expected Shizuo to turn him down, his heart prepared to just laugh at the man and let it go. Finally, let everything go and move on. Years of contempt and hatred, unrequited feelings and yearning, the accumulated pain and bottled up pressure…. Izaya had planned to let everything go. Let go of Shizuo and move on with his life, finally breaking the chain of the cycle, finally breaking the frozen time…

Though the frozen time was melting, this was not going according to Izaya's plan.

Then again, when Shizuo was involved, when did  _anything_ go according to Izaya's plan.

The informant sighed, defeated. He still guarded his heart and prepared for the worst. Bristling up, Izaya finally said, "Alright, Shizu-chan. Your… answer?"

"First, I need you to ask me again." Shizuo smirked.

Izaya stared at the debt collector in disbelief. "Shizu-chan! I've already told you! Twice!"

"First one you said you wanted to be my god. Second time, you wrote it in your letter. You've never asked me directly, Izaya." Those honey-brown eyes twinkled merrily.

Izaya gritted his teeth. If… if it weren't for the fact that he sort of… kind of… liked seeing Shizuo smile at him…. not from some photograph or surveillance camera but first hand… Izaya wouldn't have relented.

Izaya let out a small nervous sigh as he composed himself. Closing his eyes he whispered with a cracked squeaky voice, "I… I love you."

"I think I heard a bat squeak louder than that." Shizuo scratched his ear. "Couldn't hear it. Say it louder."

Feeling mortified, Izaya said it a bit louder, "I love you, you damn protozoan head with fried octopus for brains! I've loved you for too many fucking years, I don't even…!"

The informant's confession was interrupted when Shizuo lunged forward and engulfed his mouth with his own, the tongue forcing itself inside and taking control. Izaya's lips were bitten and nipped, his tongue forcefully surrendered, his teeth unable to bite down as he gave up his dominance to the assaulting  _coup d'état._

When Shizuo pulled away, Izaya was sure his body had turned into jelly with a pleasant buzz that lingered. He could feel his skin,  _glow_ and hum. And Izaya couldn't even sit on Shizuo's lap without support.

"Sorry…" the blond whispered, making the informant freeze.

'Sorry? What do you mean sorry?' Izaya searched Shizuo's sad eyes. Was he planning to leave him after all, despite that passionate kiss as an answer? Why couldn't Izaya ever figure out this man? Why couldn't he ever predict any of this monster's moves? Why was he so 'blind' when it came to this man?

"Sorry isn't what I wanted to hear!" Izaya fumed.

"But, I need to apologize first." Shizuo said solemnly. "Sorry that… I didn't realize before." To this Izaya visibly relaxed but still looked at Shizuo with guarded eyes.

"You should have been more direct, Izaya. How was I suppose to know that paying a truck driver to hit me is your way of love confession?" Shizuo smirked, bemused. "I don't think many of your crushes would last long to survive the day with the way you confess."

Izaya giggled. "Guess I'm lucky my first crush was made of studier stuff."

Shizuo's eyes narrowed, keeping his bubbling anger in check. "If you say 'first', that means… you had a second."

Izaya blinked then he also narrowed his eyes shrewdly, with a smirk hinting across his lips. "Maybe."

"Izaya…!"

The informant shrugged. "Why does that matter. I love all humans~"

"That's not the point." Shizuo growled.

"You're just avoiding my answer. Unless 'sorry' is you answer." Izaya replied pointedly.

"No. It's not… it's just… if you love someone else right now…" Shizuo looked down, a bit pained. Izaya sighed too. He too was insecure to admit these things after all.

"No, I don't. There's only love for all of humanity and a different sort of love I have for a certain Neanderthal who should have been extinct several thousand years ago but seemed to have survived. Thus I think I can make an exception. Anyways, am I going to get my answer or not? You're cheating, Shizu-chan."

"No I'm not," Shizuo smiled back now, feeling immensely relieved. "And my answer is, I love you too Izaya. You win. I thought… I was chasing you but it seemed you were the one chasing me. I don't think I had much chance to begin with." Shizuo looked at the informant with proud eyes. Proud that Izaya had chosen him of all people. Izaya himself was a fiercely proud man, and for him to even bend and admit such things like 'love' must have meant a lot to him, and Shizuo understood that.

"G-good… I guess then…" Izaya felt a bit awkward. His entire being and soul practically melted into a puddle at this point and Shizuo's dazzling smiles made him too uncomfortable. He wasn't used to such… genuine and honest affection.

"Not over yet," Shizuo smirked as he pulled up Izaya's red shirt.

"W-what are you…  _nnngh…. aaaah!_ S-Shizu!" it took all the remaining strength Izaya had to hold onto the blond's head with his hands as Shizuo dipped his head under and sucked on the skin in the middle of Izaya's chest. It had been three months and the kiss mark Shizuo had left had healed completely, but the cigarette burn had left a tiny scar. And the blond re-marked the spot with his possessive bites and sucking to hide it again. He smirked when he felt Izaya shudder and the informant's pants tighten with each suck and lick.

He pulled away only to inspect it thoroughly as if he was making sure his apples were ripe to eat. "Hmm… I think I'll have to mark you every week or so."

Izaya weakly flopped on top of Shizuo's head, panting while his limbs trembled. He wasn't sure if he should be thankful for Shiki or hate him for this. "Shizu-chan… warn me next time?"

"Why? You're mine now. And  _this_ doesn't belong here." Shizuo licked the red mark near Izaya's heart with his tongue territorially. Izaya groaned. "Fine, if it'll make you happy." He realized Shizuo would mark him anyway with or without his consent. He would rather have Shizuo mark the spot over with a kiss instead of cutting off the skin to create a new scar…. since that was what Izaya would do if it was him.

"I don't want you catching a cold so let's head back. Here, I'll give you a ride," with that, Shizuo turned around and crouched, motioning Izaya to get on his back for a piggy-back ride. With his legs numb and tired, Izaya didn't resist.

They had come up here by the way of stairs and sweat, and they went down with just the simple push of an elevator button.

Inside the quiet elevator, save for the buzzing sound of the machinery, Izaya quietly decided that he would have to enter into rehab so he could run again. Probably not quite the same as before, parkouring might be hard, but he wanted to feel the wind brushing him sweetly like before. He had a lot of work ahead of him, finding out who had destroyed his legs and… dealing with Shizuo as his… new boyfriend. Possibly. Izaya wasn't quite sure what their relationship was now, but he figured it was safe to bet that they were now… a couple of some sort.

Which led to a question Izaya had wanted to ask. "Shizu-chan…. I was curious about something."

"Hmm?" Shizuo was nuzzling the informant's ear. Izaya batted him away.

"Stop that. This is serious. I wanted to know… how you remembered that night so well… I mean, you didn't really care for me at all back then… so why…?" Izaya left the question hanging.

Shizuo smiled almost shyly. "Ah that… well…" He seemed to fidget a bit, not wanting to say why, but Izaya could feel him gathering his resolve. "That night… you were beautiful, Izaya."

Okay,  _that_ Izaya did not expect. He could feel his cheeks burning again. "I was… what?"

"Beautiful. Like… a butterfly? Even I noticed that it wasn't… a normal chase. Usually you're too busy running… but no. This time, it was more like… a dance. You obviously had charted it out beforehand, doing all the tricks you knew. I was watching your back the entire time… so I could see it. And you would always stop to let me catch up too. You wanted me to follow you, I was able to sense that. And… you wanted me to watch you, I figured that out too."

Normally Izaya would laugh and jest about Shizuo's protozoan head being able to figure out anything, but he kept his silence.

"Why? I wondered for a long time… I had forgotten about it too but when I tried to think back on it, it all came to me vividly again. It was just… well, it made an impact that time so even if I had forgotten it once, it all came back to me easily. I think… I might know why you went that far, but not exactly. Why did you, Izaya?"

"Why did I… huh…" Izaya sighed, his breath tickling Shizuo's ear. "W-well… you were right about that one thing… I was thinking … we were like butterflies. First we crawl and worm our way around, still babies. The Sunshine 60 was the spiral of the cocoon… and finally the adult stage would be like a butterfly, finally freely able to fly."

Shizuo blinked. "Y-you planned all that?" Then he laughed. "Butterflies, Izaya? Seriously?"

Izaya hid his face, his cheeks burning as he mumbled, "w-well, I was a dumb emotional teenager, trying to be creative with my feelings. I enjoyed a healthy dose of self-pity like everyone else." Which was true… he would never try to do something so artsy now. But when he was a teen… he thought the world was his. He knew better now (though probably not by much.)

They both knew that the now-informant wasn't too far off. They had went up the Sunshine 60 as kids. They came down as adults. There had been a long, long interval inside their cocoon… the many years they had wasted trapped in their folly and their pride. But the frozen time had finally melted, and now each step was completely new for them. They were enemies no more. No more were there any misunderstandings. The cycle of vending machine throwing and flickblade jabbing was broken.

The elevator door ding'ed as it opened. Shizuo and Izaya felt strange looking out of the empty building as the real world beckoned them back.

Carefully, Shizuo took a step out. A chilling breeze brushed past them and Izaya shivered a bit on Shizuo's back. He held on tightly, warming his chest against the heat of the debt collector's back. Shizuo walked out of the elevator, feeling different. They would be facing a different world now, the constant hatred between them gone. A refreshing breeze welcomed them as the automatic door opened and Shizuo stepped out of Sunshine 60.

"So, are we going home, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked as Shizuo took more steps into the streets of Ikebukuro. It was as if the world had changed even though the world had not. The view felt different even though the same buildings welcomed them.

"No, I'm taking you back to the hospital. You need to rest, Izaya." As Shizuo walked, each hesitant steps felt firmer and more grounded.

"Eeeeh? Then how are we gonna have sex? Unless you plan to be kinky and do it on the hospital bed~" Izaya giggled as it was now Shizuo's turn to have burning cheeks.

"We're  _not_  having sex until your legs are healed." Shizuo said firmly.

"W-whut? That's no fair, Shizu-chan! You  _kissed_  me back there!"

"Kisses don't lead to sex all the time 'Zaya." Shizuo scoffed though he was still smiling.

"But we haven't done it in months! And last time you ra… I mean…" Izaya quickly changed the word now, even though he was sure Shizuo probably heard the word 'rape.' "last time you sucked me  _dry_  and you didn't even remember! It's been too long Shizu-chan~ Besides, aren't all happy endings supposed to end with some good sex?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "No means no. And what kind of fairytale ends with sex? And even most adult movies end with a kiss, not sex."

"Who said this is a fairytaaaale~ and to hell with movies! I want my lil Shizu-chan to fuck me senseless!" Izaya whined as he humped Shizuo's back.

"Izaaayaaaa-kuuuun~ Keep that up or I'm going to spank you!"

"Ooooh, I might like that," Izaya giggled.

"You're hopeless." Shizuo had to chuckle.

"So are we serious about no sex until I walk?" Izaya pouted, his arms tightening around Shizuo in a pleading manner.

"No sex until you walk, you better get into that rehab soon if you want any. I don't want to hurt you 'Zaya."

Izaya wasn't sure what to make of the new nickname he just got, but it was all well. Regardless he was happy as he continued to banter with Shizuo without the biting words.

They were both happy, and they've never been happier in their life. They had found someone who accepted them and loved them for who they were. It would be a rough road together, they both knew that, but they also knew that each other were the only ones in the world who they could walk together with.

Despite all the fights they had had and would have in the future, from that day forth, Shizuo and Izaya never had to walk the road of life alone again.

And they lived happily ever after. (With a few fights in between~)

-the end ♥

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'll be adding an Epilogue at the end but the fic itself is finally over. It started on June 9th, 2010 on the kinkmeme and it ended today june 24, 2011 with over 180k words. It's the longest fic I've ever written and took a lot of my time too obviously (Over a year lol). I'm glad I was able to finish it without giving up. Thank you for being with me from the beginning guys. I love you very much. *hearts*

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [No One Special](https://archiveofourown.org/works/841838) by [Immicolia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immicolia/pseuds/Immicolia)




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